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frantically calling, minghaos heart practically drops as jun picks up his phone and he can hear people in the background.
“junhui!! where the fuck have you been I’ve been calling you?!?”
“relax hao, I’m just with some friends.”
minghao was always.. jealous.. to say the least when it came to his friends.
he hated the idea of anybody else being with jun longer than him in general, so whenever junhui would hang out with his friends it always drove a certain rage in him.
lately, jun had been hanging out too much with his friend.. it definitely upset him and he wasn’t shy about it.
“who are you with? where are you guys? when are you coming home? are you drinking? are you getting high? what are—“
“hao, i’m just with xiaojun. you know him.”
minghaos heart clenched. he knew jun was lying to him. he heard way more voices than just his and xiaojun’s. anger surged through him.
he wanted to say something, but he had nothing. his anger was getting too strong he was going non verbal at this point.
“I’ll be home in a bit, don’t worry your pretty face about it, okay? love you!” and like that, jun ended the call.
minghao wanted to scream and throw his phone across the room as he heard those words.
how could he just hang up so suddenly?! how could he tell him not to worry?! was he doing this in purpose?!?!
so many feelings surged through minghao as he started practically crashing out. (validly.)
his entire body shook with anger as he started letting out all the anger he had inside him as he yelled at the wall. it was helping him but it definitely wasn’t calming his nerves, like, at all.
running his hands through his hair, minghao tried his best to relax but the more he sat with his thoughts, the more stress he was getting and by the end he was hyperventilating with all the thoughts being at fault.
tears streamed like little rivers down his face, everything started getting overwhelming, minghao knew what was going to help him.
he rushed to the bathroom, stripping and reducing himself to just his underwear as he grabbed the blade he had been hiding from jun.
it wasn’t obvious that minghao would harm but it wasn’t something you’d be surprised about.
jun had always kept the blades away from him, but he always got his hands on one anyways.
juns efforts to keep him from harming proved useless. but it wasn’t like he was stopping him when he did it anyways.
staring at the blade, he prepared himself for another session despite having gone through it a million times.
bringing it up to his arm, he glides the blade through his skin and winces as he hits a styro.
he had a way of cutting but this time was different. he wouldn’t focus on just one area, no, that wouldn’t do anything. he slit anywhere and everywhere he could think of.
his arms, his legs, his stomach, hell even the side of his shoulders. he just wanted to stop feeling the pain.
which definitely did. but didn’t take his mind away from junhui, even slitting the elders name in his thigh. it hurt, a lot, but felt worth it.
minghao though felt like absolute shit afterwards. his tears couldn’t stop flowing out. he felt horrible.
he forced himself in the shower which is not really the best idea as it stung like fucking hell but minghao did it anyways, cleaning himself off whilst groaning at how much it stung like hell.
his body felt like it was pulsing from pain, but he managed to stumble out of the shower.
making his way to the bedroom, junhui was in front of him suddenly and minghao froze.
“minghao! I-” his smile faltered as he noticed the cuts. minghao felt so much shame.
the other slowly made his way to him and wrapped his arms around his body, making sure to not hit any of his cuts since he knew that was probably painful.
he pulled minghao in a soft kiss and minghao just started bawling his eyes out. he felt so much humiliation in the moment that his body just couldn’t hold back.
junhui hushed him softly and tried his best to calm down, it did work since well, minghao was already clingy at that point and wanted attention badly.
“don’t move too much, it might hurt.” he picked up minghao and carried him to the bathroom, placing him down on the counter and had to hold back from expressing any worry as minghao let out a pained moan since he didn’t want to worry the boy. he was already in pain anyway.
minghao was so out of it as the dizzy feeling hit him like a ton of bricks, but all he could make out and feel was jun bandaging up his cuts.
as soon as he felt himself in juns arms, he let his body go as he looked like he had just died from how flimsy his limbs got.
the cooing he got from jun made his insides weak and was craving him more than ever.
getting laid down on their bed, minghao involuntarily curled up into a ball, feeling juns presence next to his.
feeling his hair being played with carefully, he cracked open his eyes and starred at junhui who looked at him lovingly.
“you look so pretty all weak and exhausted. my name looks great on your thigh.”
he blew a kiss at the younger as his eyes went wide at the words. he saw the cut he made. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. he didn’t want jun to see it, but of course he did.
minghao started stuttering but junhui just shut him up by pulling him into a kiss which he immediately surrendered himself to.
he was always addicted to junhuis lips.
one thing led to another and minghao ended up riding jun in intense pain from his cuts, but he still pushed through because if he didn’t, jun would’ve fucked him himself which would’ve arguably been worse for his cuts.
minghao wakes up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache.
he pried himself off of juns hold. he was fast asleep anyways so it wasn’t like he was going to notice anyways.
he snuck his way onto the balcony, grabbing one of the many cigarettes that were on the table and slipping it between his lips, lighting it up.
staring off into the night sky, minghao wondered to himself.
his thoughts always stirred the most in the late hours of the night. but right now, it was the last thing he needed.
as his eyes roamed around while millions of questions stirred in his head. he wanted answers to them all, but his rush of thoughts got cut of as he heard a voice behind him.
“what are you doing out here?” jun groaned, rubbing his eyes. “having a cig without me?” jun sounded annoyed but minghao kept silent.
jun sat by near him and minghao still kept hushed, his mind was still feeling like a blur.
“junhui.” he croaked out.
the elders ears perked up as he looked at him like a curious cat.
“what am i to you? am i just this mentally ill whore you have to toy with or..?”
jun kept quiet, hesitant as if watching his words to not hurt the younger.
“hmm.. what you are to me..” minghao bit his lip hearing those words, he could barely wait for the answer as so many feelings coursed throughout his body.
the elder tucked some of minghaos hair behind his ear and smiled.
“to me, you’re the most perfect little cut up doll ever. i wouldn’t trade you for the world, baby.”
he smiled softly at the younger who blushed a little.
there it was, that warm feeling again. sometimes, minghao hated jun but he definitely was attached to him, whether he liked it or not.
minghao moved his cigarette away and leaned in for a kiss, almost falling off of his chair but, hey, at least he got his lips onto the other.
it felt very bittersweet, but the two of them didn’t care. especially minghao.
he knew now that at least junhui would be his and his only.
he’d make sure it would stay like that as well, he’d do no matter what to prove that jun was his and he was juns.