Chapter Text
[Song of the Chapter: half return by Adrianne Lenker]
Timeline Duration: Around 2012-2013 (after they move into the bunker)
Ellie's age: 14-15
***
The Winchesters have lived in the Men of Letters bunker for quite some time now. Her brothers have settled in pretty well, especially Dean. However, Ellie still had a hard time with their new home. The place fit their needs as hunters, but it was underground which was suffocating at times. It was the opposite of being on the road and being out in the open with the wind and the sun always around. Ellie felt more at peace outside where she could hear the birds and have the sun shining on her face or where she could watch the stars and point at constellations.
Ellie wasn’t used to such a big home as well. Even when she lived at Bobby’s, she could still see and hear everything. She knew when her brothers would leave or return to her when they left her in motel rooms. The comforting roar of the Impala was her indicator. Now that they had a garage, rooms, and hallways, it was harder to tell when her brothers would come and go without them telling her. Being left alone in the bunker was more lonesome than being left in motel rooms or the Impala.
Ellie would often find herself yearning for walks around town, just to breathe in the air and feel the sun on her face. She was trying her best to get used to their new home for the sake of her brothers, and they knew it as well. However, they knew she needed to be outside once in a while but that was as long as she informed them beforehand. Being in their line of work and being a Winchester made Ellie a huge target for monsters which made her brothers even more protective of her.
The sound of her alarm signaled that it was the break of dawn, Ellie hurriedly got up, turned off her alarm, and ran out of the bunker. Her brothers would be coming back today after a weekend of hunting at the next town over, it would be her last chance before their protective pestering got in the way of her desire to be alone outside. As much as she loved the sunset and the stars, Ellie knew as much not to wander around alone at night. She loved the next best thing either way, sunrise and the morning mist with the chirping of birds greeting each other.
Granted she should’ve messaged her brothers or left a note, but that would have halted her time outside. She wanted as much freedom as possible. Ellie knew perfectly that her brothers put a tracker on her phone so she left it. She brought no weapons, her pocket knife was left behind beside her phone. She was resourceful enough if anything happened to her. She only brought a tiny sketchbook and a pencil that fit perfectly in her pocket.
Ellie took a deep breath in and squinted as the sun rose up to kiss her cheeks. She stretched her arms and sighed, smiling to herself, and started her walk. There were woods around the bunker, her brothers along herself had been around and scouted the place, making sure there weren’t any unwanted friends lurking around. That was why she was confident enough to leave everything behind. The woods were safe enough and she knew where to stop wandering.
It was a quiet and peaceful morning, just as she wanted. The sun was shining, mixing with the morning mist and making the bushes and grass glitter in the morning light. Birds flew and chirped from above her, little critters ran around from under her. Ellie took her sketchbook out and skillfully drew the scene around her. She captured the intricate outlines the leaves of trees from above her made, the way they left curves of spaces that ran like a river showing the clear blue sky and letting sunrays through. As she walked further and deeper into the forest, she came across a squirrel who allowed her to come close enough and seemingly knew to stay still and posed as she drew it.
Ellie continued on, mesmerized by the nature around her. She hadn’t noticed she had gone deeper into the woods, crossing the boundary line she and her brothers had marked. Her head turned to a twig snapping ahead of her. Ellie’s vision tunneled as she froze in place, looking around and realizing she didn’t recognize where she was. She concentrated and watched her surroundings as the birds seemed to stop chirping and even the wind stopped whispering.
“I can hear you,” Ellie said over her shoulder.
Three teenagers around the same age as Ellie emerged from different trees around her. They bared their sharp teeth, trying to be as intimidating as possible.
Vampires .
Ellie sighed, pocketing her sketchbook and pencil, “Look, guys. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ambush my very lovely morning walk.”
“It’s three against one, you really want to talk?” One of the two boys said. He looked maybe a year older than she was.
“Yeah!” The youngest boy backed him up.
The two boys weren’t that convincing, Ellie immediately noticed their trembling hands. The girl, on the other hand, looked about the same age as Ellie and she assumed she was the middle child–assuming again that they were siblings. They looked similar enough for Ellie. The girl was obviously the bravest of the three, her glare didn’t waver and she kept quiet as she studied Ellie.
Ellie was slightly starting to regret not bringing her pocket knife and phone as the three siblings surrounded her. She calculated the chances that she could outrun them. It wasn’t impossible, so she gave it a go and unanticipatedly bolted passed them, running as fast as she could. And Ellie was a fast runner. She was slim and light on her feet. The two boys stumbled and yelled at her as they tried to catch up, but as she looked behind her, the girl was right on her tail.
Looking back was a mistake as Ellie came tumbling down, her foot got caught on a tree root making her trip. The girl was right on top of her before she could even get off the ground. Ellie glared at the girl and proceeded to smirk at her as she wrapped her legs around the vampire’s waist, and with a swift turn, Ellie was putting her whole weight on the girl under her. They fought to grab the arms of the other as the vampire brothers finally caught up.
“Sarah!” The younger boy cried out.
“Shut up, Finn! I’m fine!” Sarah roared but she struggled under Ellie.
“Sar–” The older boy tried to advance but Sarah shot daggers at him, “I got it, Jack!”
Sarah took the one-second opening she had while Ellie was distracted by their talking and replicated the move that ended with her under the young hunter. Her turn was deliberate as she smacked Ellie’s head on a rock near them, causing her to fall unconscious.
***
The first thing Ellie noticed as she woke up was the throbbing pain from the back of her head. She groaned, rolling her head up, and slowly peeled her eyes open to assess her surroundings. Butter yellow kitchen cabinets, pots and pans on countertops, and various house plants were in each corner of the room she was in. Ellie absentmindedly tried to get up and was pulled back down. Her hands were cuffed behind her back and through the chair that had wooden bars for its backrest.
On her left, a floral curtain hung over an arched doorway. She could hear the three vampire siblings argue amongst themselves.
“We should’ve just drained her in the woods!” Ellie recognized the youngest one, Finn, whine to his siblings.
“Shut up, Finn! We need to show Mom that we can hunt for our own food!” The only girl, Sarah, hissed back.
Just then the front door opened, and Ellie looked around to find something to use to lockpick the cuffs off. She slowly dragged the chair across the room, trying to be as quiet as possible so she could take a closer look at what their kitchen counters were offering.
She ignored the three siblings as they talked over each other to what Ellie guessed was their vampire mother.
“Okay, okay–Look guys, I had a long shift. Just–one at a time.” Mom sighed, voice laced with fatigue.
“We caught our own food!” Finn boasted ahead of his siblings.
“Caught? What do you mean caught?” The mother sounded more alert now, concerned.
“Mom, we can hunt. We don’t need those disgusting blood bags anymore.” Sarah said firmly.
What Ellie heard next, made her stop scooting her chair and she listened intently as the mother yelled at her three kids. “What have I told you about capturing humans! Haven’t I told you enough how near we are to the Winchesters! Haven’t I drilled in your stupid brains what Sam, especially Dean Winchester would do if we slipped up! Do you want him to get you! Do you want to die!”
Sarah scoffed, “I’m not scared of the Winchesters. They could march up here all they want–if they were even real.”
“Sarah–so help me God, you ungrateful brat.” The mother drew the curtains back and her eyes widened as she made eye contact with Ellie.
“Dean Winchester as scary stories to your vampire kids huh? Should’ve told them they had a sister,” Ellie calmly told the mother.
She marched toward Ellie and quickly uncuffed her. She had a spare key to the cuffs on her keychain. “Teenagers. They never listen. C’mon.” She grabbed Ellie by the arm, stopping to look at her head. "I can’t believe this,” she whispered to herself as she walked to their fridge, dragging Ellie along.
She took an ice pack from their freezer and handed it to Ellie, “Put it on the back of your head.” The mother instructed while she walked out of the kitchen along with Ellie, passing by the three siblings.
“Mom, no! What are you doing?” Sarah stomped her foot and protested. Ellie looked at her weirdly, she was acting like her brother Finn. Where was the murderous vampire girl she wrestled with earlier?
The mother stopped in front of them, parading Ellie to their faces, “Do you have any idea who this is! You just sent a bat signal by capturing the Winchester’s sister! We’re letting her go with the injury you caused and hope her brothers won’t go sniffing around before we leave this place.” She gritted her teeth.
“No, Mom! I like it here!” Finn and Jack pleaded.
“Too bad! You three are a bunch of idiots!” The mother stormed out of the house with Ellie.
Ellie followed her as they walked through the woods. “Well, you’re a great mother,” She uttered sarcastically.
“Look, I’m letting you go, alright? We’ll leave. The road is just a couple minutes up ahead.” The mother sighed, “My kids–they’re just–I’m trying my hardest to discipline them. It’s hard being a single mom. But we don’t kill humans. I work as a nurse. I bring home our food. We have no one’s blood on our hands.” The mother stared at Ellie pleading with her eyes.
Ellie sighed, fixing the ice pack on her head. It was helping. “I won’t tell. If you have a perfectly good life here, you don’t have to leave. Just lay low. Maybe be more strict with your kids. Thanks for the ice pack.”
***
The ice pack had completely turned to liquid when she reached the road at the edge of town. By some miracle or fate–either way, she questioned if her brothers put a tracker in her brain or had Castiel put some in her ribs—the Impala with her brothers passed by her. The car came screeching to a halt and her brothers stormed out and sprinted towards her.
Ellie stood still, bracing for their worried and angry scolding. She grimaced as they talked interchangeably, asking her where she had been, why didn’t she text or call them or leave a note, why would she do this, and most importantly if she was okay. They were making her headache worse.
Sam and Dean expected the usual sarcastic comebacks or the over-explaining. They looked at each other bewildered as Ellie seemed to just barely take in what they were saying and walked off into the Impala. She let out a soft groan as she settled into the backseat, resting her head back. Now that she wasn’t fighting for her life, her body let her feel the soreness that burned through her legs and her still throbbing headache.
Her brothers drove back into the bunker without saying a word. Sam helped Ellie to her room, sitting her down on her bed and taking her shoes off for her. He took care of her in silence. He then retreated into the bunker’s library to find Dean waiting for him by the tables. They exchanged worried looks, but neither pursued Ellie. They knew not to pressure her, so they left her alone and set a timer of three hours. That was enough for Ellie to come back to herself at the minimum.
Ellie was thankful she didn’t end up with a concussion, so she took some medicine to help with her headache and lay down staring at the ceiling of her room. She let out a deep heavy sigh. What a morning. Instead of getting herself some breakfast, she almost got turned into one. Her hand wandered to her pocket, she still had her sketchbook and pencil. Ellie decided to take it out and sat up on her bed, arranging her pillows to support her back, and started sketching the vampire siblings. Years of drawing her dreams gave her the incredible ability to accurately draw from her memory.
The two brothers were quite aloof for vampires, but their sister, Sarah, had the makings of an actual vampire that Ellie herself had experienced hunting. She couldn’t shake how Sarah looked at her.
Sarah had the most murderous hungry look Ellie had ever seen on someone her age. Ellie being a Winchester saved her from being turned into vampire breakfast, but what if the mother won’t take her advice and move to another town? What if the three siblings capture another girl who would unfortunately not have ‘Winchester’ as a shield she could use to get out of that situation? Would the mother let her go as well? Would Sarah kill her on the spot instead, knowing that her mother would possibly let her go?
The way their mother talked about her brothers and used them to scare the three kids so they wouldn’t misbehave opened up a new perspective in Ellie’s mind. Dean Winchester, the scary hunter you wouldn’t want to encounter. A scary tale to tell misbehaving little monsters. Their mother was mortified by even the thought of her biggest brother. She was aware of the risk they were taking by living in the same town as the Winchesters. But that was just it. They were living. Monsters who lived an adjacent life to oblivious humans. Who chose an alternative to stay out of her brothers’ radar. To stay alive.
For the longest time, Ellie saw her brothers as superheroes for killing monsters. They were murderous beasts after all. They weren’t human. However, where did one draw the line if said monster, like the vampire family, didn’t kill humans deliberately? Did that still make them monsters? Or were they more human? Did that make her brothers—and herself, murderers?
There had been instances when a monster slipped up. They got on her brothers’ radar, but prior to that they had never killed anyone. They were just living life like any other human did, blending into those unsuspecting of what they really were. Despite that, one slip was enough for her brothers, especially Dean, to get rid of them.
Ellie had to make a choice. She would either tell them about the vampire family or not. She realized the weight of this choice. She knew well enough what her brothers would do if they found out about the family, especially since Ellie ended up with a minor injury. They were extra sensitive and protective of her. Even if she was let go, the vampire family would be done just for laying a hand on her.
Sarah flashed in Ellie’s mind once more. The only other time she had seen that look before was on all the other murderous uncontrollable monsters they had slain before. No amount of scolding or scary hunter stories from their mother could tame a psychopath like that.
And then there was the fact that Ellie was a Winchester. Dean would expect her to remember Sarah and the possibilities of what she would do to get what she wanted. Sam, on the other hand, would argue that as long as they didn’t harm anyone, they deserved to live. Both of her brothers were right, of course. Both of them live inside Ellie. She didn’t have a devil or an angel sitting on her shoulders. She had Sam and Dean on either side. She was raised by both of them and thus was a product of them both. Their teachings and beliefs.
Ellie would eventually need to tell them either way, and the best thing she could come up with was to negotiate with them. But after a quick nap that she hoped would get rid of her headache.
***
An alarm rang through the hallways of the bunker that led into the library. Ellie’s brothers sat on the large tables in the middle, books sprawled out and laptops opened in front of them.
“What’s the alarm for?” She asked, feeling a lot better than she did hours ago. The nap helped.
“Uh—to take a break from research. What’s up, Junebug?” Dean asked, closing his laptop.
Ellie slumped down on the seat next to Dean. She needed to be next to him, her puppy dog eyes at the ready so he wouldn’t run out guns blazing. “Nothing, I just—“ she sighed, falling quiet and anxiously fiddling with her protective charm bracelet.
“You wanna tell us where you went earlier? We were worried sick, you know?” Sam asked softly.
Ellie nodded, “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I just needed some fresh air and somewhere to be alone where it’s quiet.”
“It’s quiet down here?” Dean pointed out.
“I think you’re purposefully ignoring the fact that I said I needed some fresh air?” She rolled her eyes up at him.
Dean gave a knowing look at Sam as they had a silent conversion with their eyes. The three hours worked if Ellie was talking back sarcastically at them. “Okay, fine. Where did you go?” Dean asked.
“The woods. I like listening to the birds chirping and I was just sketching the nature around.”
“You said you wanted quiet time.” Dean butted in.
Ellie glared at him.
“Dean,” Sam gave him a dead stare.
Their big brother quietly apologized and let Ellie continue.
“I didn’t notice I passed our mark in the woods. And,” she let out a deep sigh.
Her brothers didn’t push on this time. They knew her inside and out and if she came to them after three hours, she would tell them everything. If they pushed further, they would have to wait three days. It really does take three for Ellie, even after all these years and she still had no idea of this little phrase and tricks her brothers used.
“These three teenagers jumped me. They didn’t really hurt me—er except for my head. It really looked like I could outrun them, the two boys didn’t stand a chance, but the girl... We were head to head. Still, I let my guard down for a second, and well…” she trailed off.
Dean pursed his lips as he looked at the back of her head, a small bump he didn’t notice when they picked her up was there.
“It’s fine now, Dean. Their mother gave me an ice pack.” She waved him off before he went to poke her head, “Anyways, they cuffed me to a chair in their might I add a lovely house. Did you know monster parents apparently use you guys, especially Dean, as a scare tactic to discipline their little misbehaving monster kids?”
“What are you talking about?” Sam asked. Both of her brothers sat up straighter and their eyebrows furrowed at what she had just said.
“Yeah. ‘Don’t harm humans if you don’t want Dean Winchester to come marching to our house and kill us.’ Listen, they didn’t do anything to me—except for Sarah, but well she was much braver than her brothers. But their mom came home, scolded them, and let me go.” Ellie explained.
“What are they, Ellie? Where are they?” Dean asked firmly.
Ellie sighed, “Dee.” She looked up at him with her best puppy dog eyes.
Dean’s demeanor immediately changed as his expression softened. Rarely did Ellie call him ‘Dee’ nowadays. She was growing up, almost fifteen. But whenever she did call him that, in his eyes, his baby sister was the one talking to him. The same baby sister he first met at Bobby’s with tears falling from her big blue-green eyes. The baby sister who would ask him to carry her everywhere. The baby sister who would tuck herself under his arm when they were still on the road and slept next to him for years before they found the bunker. That was who was calling him ‘Dee’. The soft-hearted and honest little girl.
“The mother said they would leave town but I told her they could choose to stay, and that I won’t tell you about them. But I can’t not tell you. They were vampires. But the mother works as a nurse, she gave me the ice pack for my head before walking with me out of their house. Her kids are the same age as me—Sarah is. The older brother, Jack, and the younger brother, Finn. They’re kind of wusses. All talk really. They’re just misbehaving. Hopefully, they learned their lesson.” Ellie looked back and forth to her brothers, “They’re scared of you.”
“Yeah, well. They should be,” Dean huffed, “They could still hurt someone, Ellie. From what you’ve said, it seems like this Sarah girl is going down that route. She already had a taste of it—with you. What if they had caught someone else?”
“Yeah, I thought that too—Sarah. She had this murderous look on her face. That’s why I came to you and that’s why I’m telling you. But still they—they haven’t slipped up. Isn’t that your indication?” Ellie replied.
“It is. But they jumped you, your head has a bump and they basically kidnapped you. You know now that I think about it, you looked like you had a concussion earlier. I don’t know if I can let that slide,” Dean confessed, anger in his eyes returning.
“I didn’t. I told you my head’s fine. Look they let me go in one piece. Besides my head, I don’t have a single scratch or bite on me.” Ellie stood her ground.
“Dean, Ellie’s right. We haven’t heard of them since we got here. So that means they’re clean. No blood on their hands. Let’s just let them go,” Sam spoke up.
Dean clenched his jaw, “I wanna pay them a visit.”
“Dee, please. Are you crazy?” Ellie scoffed.
“Maybe I am. No one hurts my baby sister and gets away with it. I just need a word with them. I need proof of what you’re saying. I’m not going to kill them, alright?” Dean argued back.
Ellie looked back at Sam, pleading with her eyes. Sam only shook his head slightly. It translated to ‘We won’t be able to change Dean’s mind’.
Ellie frowned, nodding defeatedly, “Okay, but I’m coming with you and no weapons.”
***
It was high noon when they arrived at the little house hidden in the woods. Ellie, with her great memory and navigation skills, easily remembered where the house was even when she had a throbbing headache and didn’t pay much attention to her surroundings as the vampire mother walked with her earlier that day. Dean and Ellie settled with having Sam away from the house but close enough with weapons at the ready just in case things went south.
Ellie begrudgingly tailed behind Dean as he knocked on the front door. They waited for the mother to answer, but after a few minutes, there still wasn’t anyone coming up to the door.
“Maybe they left or the mom went to work?” Ellie said, trying to convince her brother. It sounded more like her trying to convince herself.
Dean shook his head, taking his lockpick from his pocket and fiddling with the door.
Ellie shot daggers at him, “Really?” she whispered.
Once her big brother unlocked the door, they stood there for a moment bracing themselves. They looked back at Sam and signaled him to come over and be ready. Slowly, Dean opened the door. What they saw next made Dean’s lunch want to lunge out of him. Sam from behind them let out a soft gasp at the sight while Ellie caught her breath. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
The once perfectly normal house was drenched in blood—vampire blood. It covered almost everything in the living room, the furniture, the walls, and pooled on the floor. The vampire family, Finn and Jack, along with their mother, lay lifeless around the living room. Their stomachs and throats opened and gushed with vampire blood. The daughter, Sarah, crouched over her little brother, devouring her own flesh and blood. Literally.
The vampire took a minute to notice the Winchester’s standing at the front door and without lifting her head, she made eye contact with Ellie.
“Dean.” Sam handed him his machete as they waited for Sarah’s next move.
“Ellie, get behind me,” Dean said, already moving to cover Ellie as the girl slowly got up and quickly lunged at them, eyes still locked on Ellie. Sarah barely got close enough when Dean swung his machete through her neck. She stumbled down, her head rolling off from her body and her own blood oozed out at Ellie’s feet.
Sam put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder, “Ellie–”
Ellie walked forward and looked around at the massacre Sarah caused and her eyes fell on her two wusses for brothers and then to their mother. Ellie ran to her as she noticed the woman cough up blood. She knelt down next to her, tears welling up in her eyes, “What–”
“Please–” The mother croaked out, a tear streaking the side of her face. She pleaded with her eyes and Ellie immediately knew what it meant.
“Ellie, back in the car–” Dean stepped up behind her.
Swiftly, Ellie got up and snatched the machete out of Dean’s hand and with no hesitation, beheaded the mother, dropped the weapon after, and walked out, wiping a stray tear that fell on her cheek. Was she really crying over a family of vampires?
Ellie hid behind a nearby tree, sliding down and hugging her knees to her chest. She waited for her brothers to call her back to the Impala. They were dealing with the bodies. She would help but she had an unexplainable guilt in her chest. Somehow she felt like she was to blame for the family’s death. How could anyone–monster or not–do that to their own family? To her own mother? Ellie thought of her own mother, Mary, her 10 year death anniversary was coming up for her. She put herself in Sarah’s shoes, trying to understand the reason she would kill her family. Was she that desperate to drink fresh blood she didn’t care if it was her own kind? Or was she filled with so much hatred that she let herself be consumed by the monster that she really was?
The desperate look of pain in the mother’s eyes in her last moments was something Ellie couldn’t get out of her head. Maybe because it was the fact that she let her go, took care of her by giving her that damn ice pack, or perhaps, she reminded her of Mary. A single mom, working hard to raise her kids, discipline them, and nurture them. Yes, she was a vampire. A monster. But she was also a mother. And she acted more human than a lot of humans nowadays. Ellie knew she didn’t deserve such a gruesome death.
“Ellie! Junebug! Let’s go!” Dean called out.
Ellie sighed, dusting herself off, ignoring the dried blood on her jeans and shoes. She emerged from behind her tree and walked to her brothers. They both gave her a gentle look, opening their arms for her. She pouted, running into their arms. They held her for a minute before Dean let go and led his little siblings out of the woods. Sam held Ellie while they walked, accompanied her in the backseat, and led her straight to the shower room of the bunker. He took it upon himself to get her fresh pajama clothes to change into and one of his hoodies from his own drawers, placing it on her bed, just as Dean came in holding a bottle containing hot chocolate.
The two brothers sighed and pursed their lips, “Did you expect any of that?” Sam asked his big brother following him out of their sister’s room and into the bunker’s main library.
Dean shook his head, opening a bottle of beer, “I’m worried about Ellie.”
“I think we’re going to need more than three hours,” Sam sighed, a small smile on his face.
Sam and Dean had a silent agreement. They would let Ellie come to them about the subject, not daring to even mention it to her or around her. They would wait for as long as it would take for her. It wouldn’t take three hours and they weren’t even sure if three days was enough. Would it be three weeks? The two brothers just hoped their sister was okay.
Meanwhile, Ellie allowed herself to shed the tears she was holding back, letting them fall disguised with the water pouring over her from the shower head. She felt guilty that she felt sympathy towards them. What kind of hunter felt bad for monsters dying? All the weight on the decision she beat herself up for hours ago was washing away down the drain under her. However, she thought of what outcome that family would have had. They could’ve run away and started a new life in another town or another state, hopefully laying low more than they already were. They could’ve stayed too and kept quiet, that’s to say the kids learned their lesson and listened to their mother. But what if they eventually did slip up, whether they moved or not, it wouldn’t have made a difference. What if the daughter had successfully killed someone in the future? Sarah would’ve risked her family’s life either way. All the possible outcomes lead to the vampire family dying at the hands of a hunter.
***
A soft knock made Ellie sit up on her bed, putting her book down, “Come in.”
Sam opened her door, a plate and glass of water in hand, “Hey, Junebug. I brought dinner. Dean cooked.” He closed the door behind him, placing the plate on her bedside table.
“He cooked lasagna? And didn’t call me to the kitchen. You guys are more worried than I thought,” she pointed out, smiling timidly up her big brother.
Sam sighed, sitting down on her bed as she took a bite of her food, “Dean’s trying to master lasagna. He’s trying to remember Mom’s recipe. And we are worried.” Sam admitted, pulling back the hood of his hoodie off his sister’s head. He gently brushed her hair behind her ears and started to braid her hair, getting it away from her food. He kept a hair tie on his wrist for this reason. And he used it secretly to tie his own hair when his siblings weren’t around. Now that Ellie was growing up, becoming an adult in the blink of an eye, her brothers found themselves doing things they’d done when she was much younger as often as she would allow. They felt more compelled to do so, afraid of her slipping through their fingers, and not needing her big brothers anymore.
“I’ll get over it,” Ellie said through mouthfuls of lasagna, “This is good.”
Sam shook his head in amusement, “I’ll let Dean know.”
After a few more spoonfuls, she was done. Ellie knew Sam stayed to watch her eat, otherwise he would find the plate barely touched later on.
“It’s not your fault, Ellie,” Sam sighed, trying to wipe Ellie’s mouth for her only to be met by her swatting hand as she took the napkin from him and did it herself.
“I’m not six anymore, Sam.” She glared at him, moving to give Sam space. He joined her and put a pillow behind his back, making himself comfortable, and stretched his legs on her bed. Ellie pulled her knees to her chest, leaned on Sam’s arm, and sighed, “Thanks for taking care of me today, Mimi .”
Sam frowned, she seldom used the nicknames she called her brothers when they first took her in nowadays. Not six anymore, huh? “You couldn’t have known that was gonna happen, Ellie. None of it was your fault. You made the right choice telling me and Dean,” Sam reassured her.
Ellie didn’t respond for a while. She started fidgeting with the hem of Sam’s shirt, “Is it wrong that I feel bad for them?” She asked in a small voice.
Sam sighed, moving his arm and placing it around Ellie. He held her close, “It’s not wrong, Junebug. It’s the normal–expected–reaction. It’s what makes us human.”
“Do you and Dean feel bad when you kill monsters?”
“I’m not too sure about Dean, but I do. Not nearly as much as I used to, which I feel guilty about but I still do,” Sam confessed, “Junebug, you–you have more compassion than me and Dean combined. It’s a hard thing to carry as a hunter, but that’s just what makes you better than all of us.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Ellie murmured, her thumb absentmindedly finding its way to her bottom lip. A habit she could never seem to drop which in turn made her brothers form a habit of holding her hand off to make her stop. “You’re making it sound like this doesn’t make me weak. I’m not better than you and Dean. I’m just weaker.”
“Hey–don’t talk about my baby sister like that,” Sam replied, earning a snicker from Ellie and a tiny, “I’m not a baby anymore.”
“Being compassionate doesn’t make you weaker, Ellie. On the contrary, it makes you stronger—because even with all the evil around us, you have the strength to have sympathy for others. Monster or not. You don’t just shoot and ask questions later, you know when to question things and where your priorities and values lie. Grasping onto that is a lot harder than letting go and just shooting every monster at point blank–believe me, I know. You are stronger than me and Dean.”
Ellie sighed, it was hard to believe what Sam was saying when she didn’t feel that way at all.
“How could anyone do that to their own family? Why would she kill her brothers and mother? I can’t imagine hurting you or Mom deliberately even if I was really angry at you. They didn’t deserve to die like that. It’s–it’s so–”
“Unfair? That’s true. I wish I had an answer, Junebug. It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn time and time again with being a hunter. We can’t save everyone and it’s unfair. But we do our best, right?” Sam squeezed her arm, “You did a great job today. I’m proud of you, Ellie.”
Ellie turned and wrapped her arms around Sam, buried her face on his side, and muffly replied, “You’re embarrassing me in my own room.” Despite everything, Ellie was grateful for Sam. Her brother always had the right words to say. In times like this, she appreciated having her brothers even more. They may not have parents but to each of them, they were still a complete family.
Sam chuckled and embraced her in return, “Teenagers.” He shook his head in amusement. “Alright, Garfield. I’m on dishes tonight.” Sam let her go and promptly stood up with her empty plates and cup. Right before her big brother got out of her room, she called out to him, “Thanks, Sam.” Ellie smiled genuinely at him, which he returned.
Ellie attempted to sleep once she was alone in her room. It didn’t seem to work so she continued reading, hoping it would help. Without noticing the time, Ellie was startled by her door opening slightly.
“Woah–didn’t mean to scare you, kiddo.” Dean went into her room, closing the door behind him.
His little sister moved to give him space on the bed and set her book down, “What time is it?”
“3 am? Have you been up reading?” Dean asked, sitting next to her.
“I didn’t mean to. I couldn’t sleep,” Ellie sighed, “Why are you up?”
“I went to check up on you and Sammy–and to also get a glass of water,” he replied.
She looked at him, puzzled, “Do you always do that?”
He softly smiled, "Every night. I make sure you two are asleep and tucked in." Dean shifted to a more comfortable position and opened his arms for his baby sister. She could whine and argue all she wanted that she ‘wasn’t a baby anymore’, but to Dean, she will always be his baby.
Ellie curled up next to Dean and laid her head down on her big brother’s chest, letting him embrace her, "Is Sammy asleep?"
"Yes, but you’re not. So I’m here.” Dean comfortingly rubbed her back, “Have you tried listening to The Beatles?”
She snickered, “That doesn’t work anymore, Dee. I’m not a child.”
“Right. Of course not. Well, it helps me sleep, so can you just play it on your phone?”
Ellie rolled her eyes. She knew what he was doing and now she was even more determined to stay awake just to prove that that old trick didn’t work anymore. Dean waited, it would take a total of three songs until Ellie’s breathing went even and she let out light snores.
Worked every single time.
Sam eased Dean’s worry after he talked to Ellie. He wasn’t told about what his two little siblings talked about exactly, but he knew that Ellie was ultimately going to be okay. Dean had learned throughout the years that he didn’t need to know what the two of them talked about. He wasn’t being left out. Sam and Ellie had a different understanding of how their minds worked. It was different from Dean’s relationship with her. The most important thing was knowing she would be okay.
.fin.