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Taiga had cleaned his apartment. It was spotless. Tatsuya was coming over, and he wanted the place to make a good impression. Wasn’t a hard apartment to clean: there wasn’t much in it, and he was the only one who lived in it. Only his own mess to take care of.
He kept things pretty tidy anyway, but if anyone had seen him today, they’d have laughed. He looked ridiculous, with his feather duster and his mop and his vacuum. He’d cleaned himself up too. Paid more attention to his hair and his clothes, after he’d showered.
All that prep didn’t stop him however, from getting really nervous. Wired and jittery. Like he often got before games. Couldn’t rest and couldn’t sleep. Tried to watch tv, or flip through a magazine, but ended up pacing around until the door bell rang.
Taiga beamed, seeing him. And he couldn’t help be pleased to see Tatsuya’s necklace, front and center against his sweater. Taiga had his on too, it’d been bumping against his chest the whole time he’d been cleaning. It was a strange thing to wear a necklace that had a match.
He and Tatsuya had been separated for so long; Taiga was used to it being a solo thing. A personal accessory. No one knew it was a promise. Maybe a curse. To be confronted with the mirror image of it on Tatsuya’s chest… they were rings with a lot of history. A lot of memories.
He hadn’t even known for sure, if Tatsuya still wore it. So to see him at that street game, all those years later, back in their home country, with it around his neck, that was something, that was… a little shocking, if truth be told.
Tatsuya had evolved – everything Taiga knew he was capable of had only grown. Tatsuya looked like he could be a model when he was younger, and now he looked like a model. He was elegant, calm, cool. His basketball was refined and full of grace, flawless forms.
Taiga knew then the only reason they’d connected was the unlikelihood of meeting another kid from Japan while they were in America, because if Tatsuya was a purebred, Taiga was a mutt. Scruffy, rough around the edges, a bit too wild, didn’t know his own strength until it was too late, breaking things.
But Taiga had worn that necklace everyday. The only time he took it off was to play basketball. Granted, that was a lot of the time, but that’s how important it was to him. That’s how huge Tatsuya was in his life. The one who’d first taught him the game he’d come to love. The one who’d reached out his hand, when Taiga was lost in a foreign land.
And Tatsuya was now in Tokyo. It was Tatsuya’s senior year of high school, and Taiga’s junior. He was here for a game – Yosen had won, Taiga had been there to cheer him on – and they’d made plans to meet up after, just the two of them. Taiga had nodded vigorously when Tatsuya had suggested it, while Tatsuya remained still, only giving the slightest of smiles.
And now Tatsuya was really here. Was strange too, how their paths had both taken them into contact with the Generation of Miracles, despite the both of them being overseas during their collective reign.
But now he was offering Tatsuya something to eat, to drink, who said simply water would be fine. Taiga had to make a strong effort not to drop or fumble the glass as he filled it, because despite having agreed they’d be both brothers and rivals, things still felt rough between them. Too much time had gone by. Maybe that was simply the way of things. People came and go, things were temporary, you were in a place until you packed your bags and were on to the next place.
That’s how he’d lived his life, and Taiga thought he’d accepted that. Except when Tatsuya was in front of him, and his mouth went dry and he couldn’t think of a single word to say, when his body went heavy as a statue, and his muscles tensed, and he felt simultaneously that he could break out into a sweat and that he was cold.
Now he was both giddy and nervous, couldn’t stop smiling, as he brought the glass out, and he and Tatsuya sat down on the couch.
Kuroko had told him he and Tatsuya were idiots. And it took a lot to rile Kuroko. He hadn’t believed Taiga, when he asked him to toss the necklace. Knew Taiga was so dumb, he couldn’t figure out he was upset and didn’t want to lose Tatsuya.
That’s how Taiga felt now. Wanted them to be like they used to be, but he wasn’t sure what Tatsuya wanted. Tatsuya’s grudge had run deeper than Taiga had realized – it was similar to what he’d heard about Hyuuga and Kiyoshi – an ordinary guy trying to compete with a genius.
Taiga appreciated he had talents others didn’t, through no fault of their own. His height, his legs and jumping ability, but he’d never seen it in those terms, with Tatsuya.
Tatsuya amazed him, inspired him. He’d thrown that match back when they were kids because he didn’t want to lose him. That was more important to him than winning.
He’d ended up losing Tatsuya anyway. They’d split apart, just like the Generation of Miracles – to meet new people, learn new things, and to learn about themselves.
And Taiga understood he was over all, a pretty simple guy. He was no great intellect off the court, he liked food and ate like a horse. He couldn’t stand meanness, and he’d stand up for his friends.
But Tatsuya always seemed so deep, so knowing. It fascinated him; it frightened him when he couldn’t understand their dispute and Tatsuya’s grievances, with Tatsuya looking at him like he never could.
And Taiga had eventually agreed, he’d never understand it, and that’s when he wanted to get rid of the necklace. Was stupid though, to ask Kuroko to do it. How more obvious could it have been, that he couldn’t bear to do it himself.
Then that time he’d lost it, and Midorima found and returned it.
It came back to him.
But even though the ring was a symbol of his feelings and promises to Tatsuya, it was still just a ring. It wasn’t Tatsuya himself. Because right now, even though they’d settled their feud – Taiga never had a feud to begin with – and there was no conflict, they were still apart. Even though Tatsuya had put on that necklace today, and worn it here.
“Taiga, what’s wrong?” Tatsuya always knew. Hadn’t realized he was so good at that, managing people. He’d managed Taiga when they were kids, and now he could even handle someone as difficult and unpredictable as Murasakibara.
But because Taiga was a simple guy, wasn’t wise or astute like Tatsuya, all he could come up with was a simple answer.
“Nothing, just… it’s good to see you.” Suddenly had the urge to toss the necklace again – not because he was mad, but because it was too painful. Too much after being that close, to have to see each other again and not be. It didn’t matter how good at something you were, that hurts anybody. It hurt Kuroko when Aomine suddenly didn’t care, didn’t want to play together, didn’t even want to try anymore, when he’d devoted himself to being his shadow.
Ended up being Taiga and Seirin’s instead. And Taiga loved that, appreciated everything Kuroko and Seirin had done for him. But Kuroko had made up with the Generation of Miracles pretty quickly, compared to he and Tatsuya. Within a year of leaving Teiko, they’d all gotten their asses handed to them and become better people in the process.
He’d beaten Tatsuya, played the 100th match they’d never gotten to, and Taiga had won. They’d agreed they could be both rivals and friends. But that wasn’t the problem with them.
And because Taiga was a simple guy, he didn’t know what the hell their problem was.
Maybe it was just… they were different people. They’d gotten along as kids, in a specific place, and they didn’t any longer. It was a silly promise they’d made, when they were too young to know any better.
But it’d meant so much to him, particularly because Taiga never did see his family much. Tatsuya had been everything to him. His big brother, a shoulder to lean on, a friendly face speaking his language.
And even though Taiga might still want all that, Tatsuya might have moved on.
“It’s good to see you too, but are you sure there isn’t something else troubling you?” Tatsuya’s voice could be sort of hypnotic, make you say things you didn’t want to.
“I wish we could see each other more.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way.”
Taiga experienced a rare flash of personal anger. Sure, he’d react to slights and insults on the court, but that was about people trying to get in his head, mess up his game. Tatsuya saying that to him just rubbed him the wrong way. If they were brothers, why wouldn’t they want to see each other more. Except, if it was confirming what Taiga already suspected: Tatsuya was through.
But Tatsuya picked up on that immediately, and said, “I meant no offense, Taiga. I was simply surprised. I miss you too. It’s why I am here. Because I wanted to see you… I know things have been difficult between us, with myself mostly to blame. I was cruel to you. I think I may have… known you would go on to great things, while I would not, and I decided to leave you before you left me.”
“But that’s so stupid.” Taiga couldn’t keep the roughness out of his voice, the hurt.
“Yes, it is,” Tatsuya agreed. “Childish and immature.”
“That’s not what I wanted.” Probably obvious, but Taiga still felt he had to say it.
“I know.”
“I wish I could marry you.” Then Taiga blinked, and wished he could back way the hell up. It was the kind of thing that was cute when kids said it to each other, who didn’t know any better; not when you were in high school and over six feet. It was just an innocent thing you’d say, when you meant you wanted to stay close. Like saying you wanted to be friends forever. That didn’t always work out well, either.
“We can’t get married, Taiga.” Wasn’t really necessary of Tatsuya to say that; despite not being the sharpest tool in the shed, Taiga was aware of that. And now he was getting mad again; this whole visit was a disaster, but his heart was sore, like a dream of his had been crushed, and he was threatening to blush. He didn’t get it, but they’d been wearing matching rings since they were kids. He was obviously confused, and a klutz.
“Just forget it, I don’t know why I said it.”
“But we can be together.”
“Yeah, of course, brothers and all that.” Taiga wanted to move on, get away from this, but Tatsuya shook his head, and ruined that chance when he said, “Kiss me.”
“What?” It was automatic, just a knee-jerk reaction. Didn’t even know what he was saying, or what was happening. Only his heart started beating faster.
“Then we’d know for sure.” Tatsuya was perfectly calm, as though this all made perfect sense. And when he said it, Taiga was tempted to believe it kind of did. “Because I’ve wondered too.”
“Wondered what?”
“About me and you.”
“What about me and you?”
Tatsuya smiled, shook his head. “I’m sorry, Taiga. I forgot you can be so shy.”
“I’m not–” Shy, is what he’d wanted to say, but then Tatsuya kissed him, and his brain completely fried. Really, there was nothing going on in there.
When Tatsuya pulled away, his eyes were dark. “You’re too cute. I’ve always thought that – not like this, exactly, but I always thought so. Really, a marriage proposal?”
Taiga’s lips were still tingling, and he was trying to remember how to breath. The usual rhythm, out and in, didn’t seem to be working for him right now.
“Where would you like to get married? And where would you like to go for our wedding night?” Tatsuya asked, and the smoothness of the way he said it, along with all the implications, was nearly too much for him. The kiss felt right, he knew that. Based on pure instinct, the way he made most of his decisions. But he wasn’t like Tatsuya, whose looks attracted a lot of admiration and attention. And why he couldn’t quite believe Tatsuya wasn’t just teasing him.
“Quit it, I know it was dumb.” He tried to get him off his back, but Tatsuya was determined.
“I want to know.”
Taiga sighed, and said the first thing that came into his head. “We’ll get married on a basketball court, and then we’d go to some hotel. I don’t know, that’s what people do after, right?”
“Or we could just go home. You have a nice place here.” The idea of them living together gripped him and wouldn’t let go. Still couldn’t believe this though. Knew Tatsuya well enough to know he was looking for something, with this little game of pretend. So Taiga would play along too. See where Tatsuya was going.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“And what would we do after we got here?” Tatsuya asked.
Million dollar question. Decided to throw it back to Tatsuya. “…Whatever you want.”
Tatsuya ducked his head, so his hair completely covered his eyes. “Oh, Taiga, you really shouldn’t have said that. I’m barely keeping my composure as it is.”
That got Taiga worked up too. Was close to losing it. “Well, I don’t know what you want me to say!”
“I don’t really want you to say anything. I want you to come here.” So easy, whenever Tatsuya explained things.
Taiga still hesitated. “But what happens if I do?”
“I’d kiss you again.”
“I don’t want to, you’ll leave again.” Embarrassing but true.
“You’re wearing my ring.”
“Yeah, so what, like I always do.”
“Taiga.”
“No, I–” Don’t want to hear it, not another promise, but Tatsuya didn’t let him say it.
“I love you very much. I think of you often. You are never far from my mind. You never have been, from the day we met.”
“What will I do when you’re gone?”
“Play basketball at Seirin.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I can call more frequently. I live too far to visit frequently.”
“That’d be nice.”
“And if you’ll allow, what we do now, will make the parting easier to bear.”
Closed his eyes. Tatsuya did too. Their patience was through. Whatever had been started couldn’t be stopped. Still wasn’t used to what they were doing. Needless to say, with his devotion to basketball, kissing wasn’t something he had practice with. So he just tried to go with what felt natural. And Tatsuya helped, guided, and it felt like Tatsuya wasn’t only right beside him, he was becoming a part of him, or he always had been, and the two of them were finally meeting again, becoming whole.
And when Tatsuya did eventually leave – Taiga walked with him, as far as he could – and Taiga was standing on the platform, the train long since left the station, he knew Tatsuya wasn’t really gone.
Finito