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He thinks that he is the closest to Willas. Not just because of the age, but because his brother understands that there is no glory, no reward, that does not come without a price.
Loras is too young to know: to full of songs and tales of knights, and Margaery too close to their grandmother and too wanting in her advancement of place to want to know the toll of her pride, but Willas-
It is his oldest brother who taught him to pick up a sword, to ride a horse, to joust. It was Willas, who he had wrestled with in the gardens, and run with in the maze of hedges and flower beds that was Highgarden.
It was Willas who was the first to call him gallant.
‘’ Straighten up and smile.’’ Willas had told him when his older brother had hauled him up and gripped his shoulder. Garlan had still been dazed from his fall, but he did as Willas had instructed and straightened his shoulders and gave the gathering crowd around him a large grin.
‘’My brother the gallant,’’ Willas had proclaimed, ‘’ not many men could have survived a fall from a horse like that without a scrape, and yet here he stands without a scratch.’’ Those around him patted him on the back and laughed while his older brother held him up, and when it was done Willas had practically carried him back to the castle while Garlan cried silent tears from the pain that racked his body.
‘’Almost there little brother,’’ Willas had whispered, ‘’almost there.’’ Willas had practically dragged him up the stairs to his room while yelling for a maester.
‘’ Am I going to die?’’ He had asked his brother after he had been deposited on the bed.
‘’ Of course not.’’ Willas had answered, all the while cursing as a maester finally ran into the room, half out of breath. ‘’ He took a nasty fall off his horse.’’ Willas told the maester and so the old man looked him over before proclaiming that his arm needed to be reset.
Willas sat on the edge of his bed as Garlan gripped his hand. ‘’ You won’t leave me, will you?’’ Garlan had asked his voice barely audible as the maester struggled to pour milk of the poppy down his throat. Garlan spit the sweet tang out as the old maester shook his head. ‘’ I don’t want it.’’ Garlan declared. The maester looked at Willas, who nodded, before looking back at Garlan. ‘’ Will you stay?’’ He had asked Willas again.
‘’ Of course I will, what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t?’’ And so Garlan had buried his face in his brother’s doublet: the green velvet muffling his screams as the maester reset his arm.
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‘’Willas!’’ Garlan had hopped from the stands as his brother screamed in agony. His grey mare struggling to get up, all the while his brother was trapped under her body. Garlan unsheathed a dagger from his boot and cut his brother from his stirrup, dragging him from the mare that nearly kicked him as she shook herself, finally free, and trotted across the field.
‘’ Hey!’’ Garlan patted his brother’s cheek as Willas looked up at him with unseeing eyes.
‘’ So much for a glorious first tournament.’’ His brother chuckled once before closing his eyes.
‘’ Willas! Brother!’’ Garlan shook his older brother’s shoulders before someone pulled him back. ‘’ Let me go!’’ He struggled in the man’s grasp before whipping around to see his father standing before him: lips tight and pale.
‘’ Let the maesters take care of him.’’ His father told him as several other contenders carried his brother’s limp body from the field. He shook his father off and followed the men back to the field of tents. He weaved his way around the field of colors until he came upon a tent of green and gold with a banner of a gold rose flying above it.
‘’ I’m sorry my lord.’’ One of the men guarding the tent said, ‘’ but the maester said no one is allowed to enter.’’ Garlan grabbed the hilt of his sword before thinking better of it and dropping his arm limply to his side.
‘’ Then you are relieved of your duty. I shall watch over my brother.’’ One of the men began to protest before Garlan cut in, ‘’ I command it.’’ He stared the men down, watching as they reluctantly walked away, disappearing into the crowd. Garlan stood before the entrance of the tent; wanting more than anything to march in and demand that his brother be fixed, but he doubts that, that would help any. So he stands just outside, like a knight standing watch over his king: waiting and listening for signs of life.
Eventually, he sits: sword across his lap and falls asleep. When he wakes it is to his mother laying a blanket across his shoulders. ‘’ Why don’t you go get some sleep?’’ He shakes his head.
‘’ I can’t. Willas needs me right now.’’ His mother touches his cheek and lays a kiss on his forehead as he feels droplets fall on his face. ‘’ Oh don’t cry mother.’’ She buries her face his neck as sobs rack her body. ‘’ Willas is brave and strong. He’s going to be fine.’’ He tells her. He prays to the gods old and new that he is right.
When his mother’s tears end she cups his cheeks and rubs her thumbs across them, ‘’ my sweet boy, my gallant boy,’’ she calls him, and despite everything he smiles because it is the first time his mother has called him gallant.
The maester wakes him at first light, ‘’ is my brother alright?’’ Is my brother alive?
The maester looks worn: bags under his eyes and chain seeming too heavy for him, but he gives Garlan a determined nod.’’ I have given him milk of poppy for the pain, but his leg-.’’ Garlan takes in the new information with shaking hands. His brother may never be able to walk again.
When he enters the tent his brother is fast asleep; his leg covered, and Garlan thinks he looks peaceful. He brings a chair over and sits at his brother’s bedside waiting for him to wake.
It is two days before Willas finally wakes, ‘’ what has happened?’’ Is the first thing he asks Garlan.
‘’ You fell.’’ Garlan says simply. At that moment the maester enters again and pours more milk of poppy down his brother’s throat. Willas struggles until Garlan stands before him and holds him down. He looks away as Willas looks up at him with disbelieving eyes.
‘’ I’m sorry,’’ he pleads, ‘’ but it’s for your own good.’’ He steps back and lets the maester do his work, briefly looking away as he unwraps Willas’s leg.
Perhaps I am not so gallant, he thinks.
His parents come in and out frequently: his mother fretting and his father oddly quiet. Willas tells them all to leave in his groggy state, but Garlan stubbornly refuses.
Then Oberyn Martell comes.
‘’ It seems the gods favor you.’’ Is the first thing he says. Before Garlan realizes it he has his sword against the Dornishman’s throat.
‘’ You dare enter here! After what you did? You nearly killed him, and now-‘’
‘’ Garlan. Enough.’’ Willas’s quiet voice echoes through the tent. ‘’ Let him be.’’
Garlan unclenches his fist from the older man’s tunic and lowers his sword to his side. Unruffled, Oberyn smoothes out his tunic and walks past him to Willas’s side; Garlan bristles and walks out of the tent to sit on the muddy ground.
When Oberyn Martell comes out he gives Garlan a nod of acknowledgment, before beginning to whistle and disappear through the tents.
‘’ Garlan.’’ Reluctantly he reenters the tent, not meeting his brother’s eyes.
‘’ How could you-‘’
‘’What’s done is done Garlan. Being mad at him wouldn’t make anything better. Now stop being so damn stubborn and come sit by me.’’ Obediently he sits by his brother’s side, but he still does not meet his eyes: anger and embarrassment filling him.
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It is Garlan that Willas leans on when he takes his first steps since the tournament. His brother had been of a short temper: so used riding and running across fields and now confined to his bed. So, against the maesters orders he gets out of bed and tries to stand only for his knees to buckle. It is luck that Garlan was there to catch him and walk him to his bed.
Willas’s cheeks are flooded red and his is jaw is clenched, ‘’ I am perfectly capable-‘’
‘’ No you’re not.’’ Garlan snaps, ‘’ so stop pretending you are.’’
Willas’s mood and temper grows fouler until a particular incident involving scaring a servant boy half to death prompts their mother to march into his brother’s rooms and start to yell.
Garlan winced as his mother’s voice carried down the hall, ‘’ Despite what you may think you are still the future lord of Highgarden and I expect you to act as such. Moreover, you are my son and I expect my sons to act with decorum. You are a man grown, not a boy, Start acting like it.’’ The doors open and his mother comes out, demeanor cool and head held high.
‘’ Make sure your brother eats all his lunch.’’ She says as she passes him.
‘’ Yes mother.’’
Garlan enters the room to see his brother: head hung with a look of shame on his face. ‘’ I don’t think I’ve seen mother this angry since we stole those two thorough breeds from the stables.’’
Willas shakes his head and meets Garlan’s eyes, ‘’ I haven’t been that bad, have I?’’
Garlan grins, ‘’ Just a bit.’’
‘’ I just can’t take it anymore. It’s like being trapped in a dungeon.’’
‘’ It won’t always be this bad.’’ Garlan tells him.
‘’ Can you be certain of that. Can you really?’’
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Soon Willas limps around on a cane made of oak and carved with vines and roses.
‘’ Of course father would have such a thing made for me.’’ Willas remarks when he sees it. They both grin for a moment and think of their father’s more than ostentatious sense of style.
‘’ He meant well.’’
‘’ He always does.’’
It is such a thing to see his brother walk again; reveling in the air and the sun. Still, when little Margaery demands a ride on his brother’s shoulders, a task to strenuous for Willas to undertake, he sees the shadow of bitterness overtake his brother’s face. It is then that Garlan comes in and places his little sister over his shoulders. ‘’ Do I not make a better steed, sister?’’ And she shall giggle, lightening the tension. Margaery’s laughter seems to make everything better.
‘’ Indeed,’’ Willas’s teases, ‘’ you certainly do have the face of a pretty mare.’’ Garlan scowls but is secretly relieved to see his brother back in good spirits.
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‘’ There has been thieves and bandits along the Rose road.’’ His father tells him one day. ‘’ You are to go and take care of it. That is an order from our king.’’ Garlan doubts that Robert Baratheon could look up long enough from his cups to notice a few thieves along his road, but he doesn’t put a voice to his thoughts.
‘’ It shall be done father.’’
His mother kisses his cheeks and Willas pats him on the back, ‘’ Good luck brother.’’ It lays unspoken between them. That he should have been the one to go. He ignores Margaery’s pleads to stay and Loras’s pleads to take him along.
Garlan gets on his horse without another word and rides, all too aware of the men that follow behind him. Their lives are in his hands now.
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They catch up with the thieves just a mile south of Ashford, and it so easy to cut them down that it sickens him. Near twenty of them and yet they do not stand a chance. These are no villains, but peasants trying to feed their families. Still, the men around him do not seem to care and it is done within minutes.
And as Garlan walks through the fields he spots a boy not even in his tenth year clutching a bag of apples to his chest. When he sees Garlan he starts to stammer and beg for life. ‘’ Please my lord have mercy on me!’’
‘’ Enough.’’ Garlan commands and tosses the boy a bag of silver stags, ‘’ Go now.’’ The boy scurries off with a mild bow and a quiet thank you.
When Garlan returns home, after he has buried the bodies, his father will tell him, ‘’ you let one of them go.’’
His cheeks will flush as he realizes one of the men told his father. ‘’ I was sent to put down a group of bandits. I did. I was not sent to slaughter peasant boys trying to feed their families.’’
It is the first time he has truly defied his father and he can’t help but feel a sense of pride in it. Even after his father has him flogged he does not apologize. He did the right thing and he won’t be sorry for that.
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A moons turn later mother hands him a letter the wax already broken, but the seal of house Hightower is unmistakable.
‘’ What’s this?’’ He asks her.
‘’ Perhaps you should read it and find out.’’ Her lips tug at the corners as if she is trying to hide a great smile, and as he reads the letter he finds why.
‘’ Me, knighted? But I haven’t even finished squiring yet- how?’’
His mother kisses him on the cheek, her rose oil hanging in the air, as she takes back the letter, ‘’ your uncle seems to think you’re ready.’’
A fortnight later Willas stands beside him as the Old Man proclaims him Ser Garlan of house Tyrell: sworn to protect the young, old, weak, and oppressed.
‘’ It all seems too much.’’ He tells Willas later.
‘’ Already cracking under the pressure brother.’’ Willas grins and pats him on the back as they pass the ale back and forth between each other. His grandfather’s hall is now quiet, only one or two servant mulling about at this hour.
‘’ No. It’s just….I’m a knight because I defied father. Yet as my lord and father I am commanded to obey him-‘’ He takes a swig from the bottle, the bitter drink stinging his throat slightly as he swallows.
His brother looks at him with sympathy and sets down the jug with an audible ‘clunk’. ‘’ The Faith may ask you to be a true knight, but anyone with sense knows that, that may not always be possible. So do the best you can, try to be the best man you can be.’’ Willas claps a hand on his shoulder and looks him in the eye as Garlan tries to do the same.
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He meets Leonette Fossoway when he is near the age of twenty.
The first thing he notices when he reaches Cider Hall is that the smell of apple orchards- he is sure that the smell would cling to his clothes for days. It was a picturesque place, he had to say: as far as the eye could see apples were ripe for the picking, with men carrying crates of them. No doubt being made into the cider the land was famous for.
He gets off of his horse to be greeted by Lord Bryan Fossoway- a man shorter than him, but broader with dark hair and dark eyes that scrutinized him as the older lord welcomed him to his hall, ‘’Welcome to my household Ser Garlan. I hear you have business with me on behalf of your lord father?’’ The man himself is polite enough, but Garlan knows well enough that he is not here for pleasantries, and so he is shown to the lord’s solar without another word.
‘’Cider?’’ Bryan asks him. Garlan waves away the offer, knowing that it is a bit more than rude, but he is already uncomfortable as it is and he wants to get this nasty business over with.
‘’You know why I am here.’’ Garlan starts, ‘’ The King has requested you give another third of your stock, and yet you have failed to do so. If you do not follow this command, as the ruling family we will have to…..forcefully make you, and you may lose your lands in the process.’’
Bryan Fossoway rubs his forehead through all of Garlan’s words as if wanting to stave off a headache. ‘’ I understand Ser Garlan, but you must realize we barely have enough crop of our own as it is, and we do not get compensated for the crop we send to Kingslanding-‘’
‘’ I understand but,’’ he chooses his next words with reluctance because he feels sympathy for the lord across from him- a man who is trying to keep his family and his lands intact. Garlan can respect that more than anything, ‘’ these are the kings orders though.’’
Lord Bryan seems to fumble for an answer-trying to grasp at the concept that is being asked of him, and trying to come to another solution. Garlan watches as a shadow crosses the man’s face and soon the lord is looking at him with a peculiar glint in his eye, ‘’ Ser Garlan I understand your brother, lord Willas, is still unmarried-‘’ Garlan jumps at the sudden turn in conversation, blinking at the man that stands before him he can only utter one word-
‘’ No.’’
‘’ Pardon me Ser?’’
It is at that time that Garlan wants to kick himself. More than once grandmother had scolded him for speaking before thinking. So, as always Garlan is grasping for his next words trying to reconcile the situation.
He clears his throat, ‘’ What I mean is that my brother has no desire to be betrothed- and since his accident….well he does not think it would be fair to any lady who was married to him to be shackled, as it were, to a crippled husband.’’ And it was true that Willas had expressed the idea, but perhaps Garlan had put it more gently.
‘’ No woman is going to want a man with a bum leg and gods know no lord wants to wager on whether I can put a child in their daughter’s belly.’’
‘’ Is that so?’’ Lord Bryan raises an eyebrow at him. Garlan stands up; more uncomfortable than ever.
‘’ Indeed, my lord. Now if I may: my business is done here, and you have your orders.’’ He does not wait for Lord Bryan to bid him a good day, but instead walks steadily out of the room and to the stables. He finds one of the stable boys grooming his horse and with a wave the boy stands back and Garlan gets on his horse. He presses his heels into her side and at once the horse speeds off, and yet as hard as Garlan hurries out of the place he can’t help but notice the woman who sits under one of the trees at the manor’s entrance: book in her lap and a curious expression on her face as he passes by.
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A week later he returns Cider Hall.
He is not meet by Lord Bryan, but instead the young woman he had seen at the entrance. Ser Garlan.’’ She greets him. He notices that she is a little thing- looking as if he could grab a hold of her and break her, but there is something in her gaze- like newly honed steel, that makes him think she is not to be trifled with.
‘’ My Lady-‘’
‘’Leonette.’’ She says quietly, ‘’ my name is Leonette.’’
‘’ Lady Leonette I am here to see your father on behalf-‘’
‘’ I know why you’re here Ser Garlan. Unfortunately, my father is indisposed at this time and is unable to see you.’’
‘’I am sorry to hear that my lady,’’ he hesitates for a moment, ‘’ perhaps you could show me the orchards…so I could know that the king’s word were being followed.’’ He holds out his arm and without hesitation she takes it.
They walk along the trees as she points out more and more crates of apples, and he can’t help but notice how the servants look at her with respect in their eyes.
‘’ You have a lovely home.’’ He says trying to make conversation.
‘’ Highgarden must be even lovelier.’’ Garlan thinks that there must be a barbed comment in such a simple statement- judging by the sparkle in her eyes, but he does not make mention of it.
‘’ It’s home.’’ He says diplomatically. She smiles at that and he is relieved that she is not completely hostile towards him. They walk for a long time making idle chatter as Garlan surveys the lands before she finally stops him with her hand on his arm.
‘’ I’m sorry for the position my father put you in Ser Garlan. It was wholly inappropriate for him to do so and on behalf of my family I apologize.’’
He is taken aback for a moment before composing himself, ‘’ There is no need to apologize my lady. Your father obviously cares much for you and would have you well taken care of.’’
‘’ Yes, indeed-‘’ her voice drifts off after that and he wonders if he has said or done anything wrong. She is quiet after it and at the end of it all she escorts him back to his horse and bids him goodbye with the politeness that edges on irritating.
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‘’ No doubt if they can’t have the first son they’ll have the second.’’ Olenna snaps. Gods know that he has never cared much for his grandmother- she used to frighten him quite a bit when he was a boy, but he knows that no decision is made within their family without her consent.
‘’ The matter is dealt with though; they have followed the king’s command. There is no reason for me to return there.’’
Olenna snorts, ‘’ doesn’t matter, Lord Bryan is an ambitious one, and he’ll set his daughter in front of you any chance he gets.’’
‘’ Then what should I do?’’
Olenna shrugs,’’ Marry the girl if you want. Only the gods know when your brother will place his cloak around some girl, if he ever will. In that case we need an heir to Highgarden.’’ Garlan sighs and runs his hand through his hair thinking of the young woman he had spoken with weeks before, and he wonders if he can ever make her happy. Garlan is no poet; no lord-he is a soldier and a knight. He knows how to fight and ride better than any man in the Reach, but he is not sure he knows how to be a husband.
Still, he goes to Lord Bryan and asks for his daughter’s hand because he has to marry at some point in his life, and why not marry a pretty woman with bright eyes?
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He places a cloak of green and gold around Leonette Fossoway’s shoulders and she becomes Leonette Tyrell, his wife, and all the while she smiles gently at him.
‘’ She is a sweet one.’’ His mother remarks, her eyes sparkling to see one of her son’s finally married. Indeed, Leonette looks wholesome in a dress of pale gold with apple blossoms braided in her hair and he can’t help but smile as she dances with Margaery: all the joy and merriness that should go with such an occasion.
Willas pats him on the back and congratulates him, and it seems as if Garlan is in a daze of sorts.
Then it is time for the bedding and he is left to his cousins who giggle and stare. He bats them away and hurries into his chambers, locking them before turning to his wife. Wife, that is a word he will have to get used to. Garlan turns to see Leonette trying to cover herself. He feels a pang of guilt and hands her a robe- a thing his mother had probably thought of: he would have to thank her later.
She does not tremble when he lifts her chin, but she does not meet his eyes either. ‘’ I am sorry for the pain I may cause you tonight, my lady.’’
‘’ I know Ser.’’
He takes his hand away from her chin, ‘’ my name is Garlan. You may call me that if you wish.’’
‘’ If it pleases you.’’ It is a quiet sort of defiance.
He does hurt her that night-sees the pain in her eyes, and swallows his guilt. It had to be done, and when it is she turns her back to him and stays so carefully still- like a statue. Despite it all he can’t help thinking that she tasted sweet- like apples.
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Leonette skirts around him and he doesn’t know what to do. She spends time with his mother, he catches her teaching Margaery the high harp, and sometimes he watches as she and Willas discuss a book in the library- their murmurings too quiet to be truly heard. The only time he truly sees her is when she comes to him at night.
It is in those quiet moments: when she is pressed against him, gasping, that he treasures the most. When he presses his face into her neck and her hands dig into his shoulders- and just for a moment she’ll mummer his name in his ear, and he’ll forget that this is a brief pleasure and nothing more. He cherishes the dazed look in eyes afterwards: lips red and hair wild, and he ignores the coldness that replaces it when she seems to come back to her senses.
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He escorts Loras to Storms End at his father’s request- not that his younger brother his protesting. Indeed, his brother seems to bounce in the saddle of his horse, excitement plain on his face.
Garlan thinks that his brother is only too ecstatic to begin his training as a knight. He has been told too many stories of brave and daring men: heard too many songs of their exploits to think of a knight as anything but honorable: the pinnacle of virtue and Garlan does not have the heart to tell him otherwise, but he thinks of men like Jamie Lannister and Gregor Clegane and knows better.
When they arrive at the castle of Storm’s End thunder clouds rumble above them and the sky looks as if it as at the edge of a great storm, and Garlan thinks it would be fitting to have one right at this moment.
They are shown to the hall by some stable boy who quickly scampers off to find his master and they are left to take in the castle. Loras seems to take in the rough looking castle with a sort of awe while Garlan is reminded that his younger brother has never been outside Highgarden until this very moment.
In turn Loras is charmed by the young Renly Baratheon. From what Garlan has heard the young lord of Storm’s End is the image of the king in his youth. He watches as both boys: one at the edge of manhood, and the other just a few younger them himself, chat animatedly as if they had not just met. He pushes down the jealousy as his younger brother seems to ignore him in favor of the lord across from him, and reminds himself that it shall be good for his brother to know places other than Highgarden.
He does not stay at Storms End long and bids his brother goodbye two days later. ‘’ Mind yourself, ‘’ he reminds Loras, ‘’ it is an honor to squire for the king’s brother.’’
‘’ I shall.’’
‘’ And remember to write to mother. You know how she worries.’’ He ruffles Loras’s hair as his brother huffs and bats his hand away, mindful of Renly just behind him.
‘’ I will.’’
Garlan looks one last time at his brother: gangly in his youth and far too eager: naïve, but his family would have it no other way.
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When he rides back to Highgarden he sees Leonette among the apple trees to the far east upon the hill and without thought he rides to her.
She must know he’s coming, and yet she never looks up from the book she is reading, not until he descends from his horse and sits down next to her in the shade of the tree.
‘’ And how are you today, my lady?’’ He keeps his voice light and teasing, but look on her face is anything but: mouth set in a line with eyes that make her older than her mere eighteen years- she is a sight to behold. ‘’ What is a matter?’’ He touches her cheek and while she has never shrunk away from she has never embraced him either. So it is a surprise when she covers his hand with her own and intertwines their fingers and bringing them down to her lap.
‘’ Leonette?’’ He whispers, and if he has not banished the fear in his voice, he does not mind it.
‘’ I am with child.’’ It is said so quietly said that he almost has to read her lips to understand it, but when he does something in his chest tightens and he has to let out a laugh.
‘’ This is wondrous news.’’ He kisses her cheek as she smiles and her eyes seemed to lighten and dance with happiness. She has never smiled at him like and he wonders if this is a new beginning for them.
When his family is told the news they gather around them: Willas hugs him in congratulations and kisses Leonette on the cheek, calling her ‘’sister’, his mother offers advice if Leonette were to have sickness in the mornings, and father proclaims that they shall have a feast. It is a happy occasion and Garlan cannot stop smiling and all the while he holds Leonette’s hand and watches as her cheeks fill with color and her laugh rings across the room.
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Most days he spends by Leonette’s side, and although to an extent it must annoy her, she never says a thing about it. Instead, she gives him a smile and calls him ‘’husband,’’ and he thinks it is the happiest he has ever been. The pregnancy seems to have thawed something in between them and in its place something unnamed has been planted.
When Garlan tells Leonette this quietly one night she grins something wicked and tells him, ‘’ Perhaps it was a rose.’’ And she places her hands on her stomach and giggles. It is a strange thing for him to be so content with his life, and to have his wife be his companion as well.
‘’ Yes you’re cheery mood is quite tiring. What happened to my brooding brother?’’ Willas says to him.
Garlan tips his head back and laughs, ‘’ He is gone for now.’’ His brother gives him a good natured shove with his shoulder and grins. His brother’s smiles and laugh always seem to hold a bitter edge to them, even after all these years, and while Garlan never faults him for it he wishes his brother had some happiness in his life- something that gave him some semblance of peace.
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‘’Willas! Willas!’’ Margaery runs into the stables, a mess of curls and mud, and he it is so unlike her that he is at once concerned.
‘’ What’s wrong?’’ He kneels before her and is reminded how much she has grown when he only has to kneel half way down to face her. Her eyes are red and puffy now, and there is a trail of snot that reaches down her chin that he pulls out a handkerchief and wipes her face. She seems to break then and runs into her arms while her body heaves with her sobs.
‘’ We were sewing and then Aunt Leonette-‘’ Margaery does not finish as his mother enters looking pale and drawn. He stands and briefly registers when Margaery goes to Willas-still sobbing.
‘’Garlan,’’ his mother touches his cheek and runs a hand through his hair like she had when he was a little boy sick with fever, ‘’ Leonette has miscarried.’’ He hears her words and processes them and then his throat closes, but he wills himself not to cry.
‘’Where is she?’’ He hears himself ask, but truly he is not there. He is thinking of the little boy he had dreamed of-the one he would take riding and would teach how to joust. He was thinking of the daughter he would never get to spoil.
‘’She’s in her chambers resting.’’ She lets him go as he walks towards the castle, not even looking back at Willas and Margaery.
He does not even knock when he enters her chambers, just shuts the door quietly and enters her bed chamber as quietly as he can.
He nods to the maester and the maids who carry away bloody sheets before he sits at the edge of the bed. It is dark in the room-the curtains drawn with only a sliver of light reaching across the room to bathe his wife’s face - pale and haggard looking- he reaches out and touches her hand. She snatches it back quickly and does not look at him as he puts both of his hands in his lap. ‘’ I’m so sorry Leonette, my love-‘’
‘’Please go.’’ She says quietly.
Something lumps in his throat and he clears it once before whispering, ‘’ as you wish, my lady.’’
He leaves her to her own grief as he trudges back to the stables. Margaery is gone as is his mother, but Willas is still there- staring out into the open fields with an unreadable expression on his face. When his brother see’s him he gets a look of sympathy on his face.
‘’ Brother-‘’ Garlan does not listen as he saddles a horse without a word, grief and fury boiling within him. After all this time she will not even speak to him-after everything that’s happened, especially now. He had only wanted to comfort her and she had hated him for it. She had-
He gets on his saddle and rides out: past the open and into the woods where he get off his horse, pulls out his sword, and begins to hack at the nearest stump.
‘Thunk, thunk, thunk,’ he brings the blade down and then back up until his arms are sore and he is short of breath.
He is surprised to feel a heavy hand on his shoulder and his father’s saying, ‘’ It’s alright son.’’ Something in the words, maybe the comforting nature in them, makes him break. Tears come down his cheeks and sobs escape him even as he tries to hold them back. His father speaks not another word, even after Garlan brings himself to his knees, and Garlan is grateful. It would be too much for his father to offer him affection, simply because his father has never been affectionate- his father had always favored Willas. Even after the accident he had looked at Garlan’s older brother with pride still in his eyes.
Silently he cursed the gods. Could they not give one good thing?
When he is done he gets up and turns towards his father. The man’s lips are drawn to a thin line with eyes unreadable. ‘’ It is just one miscarriage. You can try again.’’ Garlan’s fists clench for a moment and his cheeks flush before he deflates. How can he tell his father that his wife may not even allow him to touch her, much less have another child?
‘’Perhaps.’’ Is all he says before going to fetch his horse- who had run off during his moment of fury.
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It is like the beginning when they barely spoke to each other, and yet somehow it’s….worse. There is a space between them that he can’t possibly cross, and so he stays away from her.
More and more he visits bannerman on his behalf, and he continues to hope that she shall meet him at the gates one day, but she never does.
‘’ She is mourning.’’ His mother tells him. They sit in her solar with cups of tea between them and more than anything he wishes he could be somewhere other than here, he would, but she had requested that he spend the afternoon with her and he could never deny her anything.
‘’ As am I.’’
She puts her tea down and places a hand on his cheek, ‘’ I know. And I know it hurts, but you must not give up. You were so happy, and so was Leonette- you were both building something together. Don’t let it go to waste.’’
‘’ Mother-‘’ she takes his chin and lifts it with her fingers until they are face to face and he is reminded of where he got his eyes from.
‘’ I lost my first child,’’ She says and he feels as if he has been struck. Carefully she leans back in her chair as a shadow crosses her face. ‘’ a little boy, Edwin.’’
‘’ I didn’t know.’’
‘’ Of course you didn’t,’’ she says softly, ‘’ some things are not meant to be spoken of. But I did and I grieved as Leonette is grieving. Your father tried his best of course, but in the end he left me to my grief. And in the end we had four beautiful children.’’ Her lips quirk into a bitter smile, ‘’ your father is a good man, but he makes mistakes. As we all do, but do not let his mistakes be yours.’’
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He finds her beneath the apple trees. Truly, he should have looked there first for it seemed it had become a favorite spot of hers. Garlan is suddenly struck with the memory of being told he was going to be a father and it makes him falter in his steps. It makes him doubt himself. Then he sees her blood shot eyes and it makes him approach carefully before sitting next to her- not even daring to let their shoulders brush.
Both of them sit quietly, and even after she shuts her book she does not speak- does not look at him, but she has not left and he thinks there is room for hope.
They stay like until it was dark.
He offers his hand and as she took it he felt a sense of relief wash over him. And as they walked back she slows him with a touch of a hand on his arm, ‘’ I was so sure he was a boy.’’ She says and her voice is so raw and knowing that he wonders how long she had thought the notion, ‘’ I would have named him Garin.’’
‘’ A strong name.’’
‘’ He would have been strong, and good. He would have been beautiful’’ She takes his arms and wraps them around his, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walk to her chambers.
When they reach her chambers she brushes a kiss on his lips before drawing back, ‘’ You are not the man I thought you were.’’ The words aren’t meant as an accusation or a jest, but as a simple fact- a kind word.
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Years pass and summer stays. He watches as his sister becomes a young woman: beautiful and a mind as shrewd as their grandmother’s. He watches as Loras becomes a knight with dreams of songs in his eyes.
The years pass by in a haze of summer days….and it is when he hears that Lord Eddard Stark is to become Hand of the King that he feels a storm brewing.
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He is summoned to his father’s solar, and the opened letter on the desk tells him enough.
‘’ The king is dead,’’ his mother proclaims, ‘’ and Eddard Stark has been arrested on the grounds of treason.’’
‘’ On what grounds?’’
His grandmother’s lips purse, ‘’ On the grounds that he has accused Joffrey Baratheon of being a bastard.’’
‘’Well is it true?’’
‘’ Oberyn believes it to be the truth.’’ Willas quietly cuts in.
‘’ Oberyn Martell will say anything to besmirch the Lannister’s.’’ Willas’s shoulders straighten and he is ready to defend his friend when Olenna cuts in.
‘’ It matters not what the viper says. Right now the North is amassing an army, as we must. Renly and Loras ride for Storms End ready to rally the bannerman. Soon we shall declare for Renly,’’ she gestures to Garlan, ‘’ and you must be ready to meet them with our own. Are we clear?’’
‘’ Yes.’’ He swallows the lump in his throat and straightens his shoulders. ‘’ If you’ll excuse me I must prepare.’’ He stands and holds out his hand for Leonette. His wife takes his arm and with hurried steps walks out of the room.
When they are far enough away he slows them down, ‘’ by the gods old and new.’’ Leonette tightens her arm around his and lays the other on his shoulder, stopping him.
‘’ We shall have war now.’’ She says simply before biting her lip and looking at him with morose eyes, ‘’ our family is truly ambitious.’’
He lets out a chuckle at that before resuming their walk, wanting to get to their chambers, as to not be overheard by any of his family’s servants.
When they reach them he pours himself a glass of wine and down it in one gulp before himself another, and then her. ‘’ Who knows how long they have been planning this: when Stark was named Hand of the King- when Jon Arryn passed?’’ He sits himself down in his chair and places his head in his hands. ‘’ My family shall make him king, they’ve already convinced him that he has claim. He has no idea-‘’ He thinks of Stannis and Tywin, proven battle commanders, and unmerciful with their enemies, ‘’ Renly and Loras do not know what war is. Loras has not even killed his first man yet-‘’ He feels the brush of skirts against his legs and the brush of his wife’s lips against his cheek.
‘’ Then you shall lead the armies- you and Randyll Tarly and perhaps some of the Storm lords.’’ He wraps his arms around her waist and tugs her into his lap, burying his face into the crook of her neck and clenching her skirts into his fist.
‘’ I shall have to.’’ He lifts his head and places her forehead against his own.
‘’ And then you shall come home.’’ She says it as if it is certain.