Archive of Our Own

"Deku.”

That nickname again. Uraraka had accidentally heard Kacchan call him that, which at first seemed like the worst thing that could happen to Izuku. He wanted to disappear because then he wouldn't have to worry about what Uraraka would think of him, no matter what...

Izuku didn't disappear, though, and Uraraka heard the nickname Kacchan had given him a dozen years ago, and... she smiled at him.

"I like it! It sounds like 'dekiru', you know? Like ‘You can do it!’"

He cried, because of course he did, and then he immediately assured Uraraka that she hadn't said anything wrong. He also told her that she could call him Deku.

He meant it.

Because with her words alone, she took something that had been a source of shame for Izuku’s whole life. She turned it into something beautiful and for that, Izuku was incredibly grateful.

Izuku couldn't be more thankful for everything life had given him lately.

He might not have gotten into the school of his dreams. He might not be on his way to becoming a hero like he always wanted to be. But he has something better. He has friends who like him, and Izuku wouldn't trade them for anything, even if he could get the chance to become a hero. They are precious to him and he cherishes them deeply.

“I was just wondering, you never told us about your quirk!"

There is only this one small... problem.

• 1 •

He met Uraraka first.

They ran into each other when Izuku went to the entrance of UA to wait for Yagi. It was Izuku's fault and he took full responsibility for it, a blush of embarrassment came to his cheeks every time he remembered the situation.

He focused on UA. It was majestic and impressive. He found it hard not to stare at the building. UA was like an expensive All Might figurine from his golden era, made in 1/2 scale, which Izuku would never have, but always admired through the glass when passing by a hero merchandise shop.

Izuku could admire UA from a safe distance, behind its walls.

That's how he ran into Uraraka, who reflexively used her quirk on him, thus preventing him from falling.

It was like an invitation to strike up a conversation.

"Oh, you're from Class 1-A! I saw you on TV fighting with Kacchan— I mean Bakugo. You were amazing!" Izuku said as he stood up, after a plethora of apologies. 

"Oh, I... Thank you." Uraraka pulled her shoulders back slightly, obviously embarrassed by Izuku's compliment, and Izuku decided that this was clearly his moment to retreat—he had humiliated himself enough in this short exchange. Then, Uraraka spoke again. "Wait— Kacchan...? You know Bakugo?" Curiosity crept into her voice. She frowned and looked at Izuku carefully, as if she wanted to scan him from head to toe, and Izuku shivered under her gaze.

Stupid. Izuku should have used this opportunity and withdrawn. Now, it was too late. Running away without answering the question would have been impolite.

"Um," he said eloquently. “Yeah. He's— He was my friend.” He said because he wasn’t able to lie, even if he wanted to at the moment. But panicking at the thought that Uraraka might continue to ask him about Kacchan, Izuku decided to do the first thing that came to his mind and change the subject. "I think you used your quirk really well! That move with the pieces of concrete that Kacchan broke for you? Brilliant. You caught him off guard, and he's not easily surprised! You even managed to stay on your feet the whole time, sending an incredible amount of concrete shards flying into the air! I was impressed!"

Uraraka blinked and took a small step back, never taking her eyes off of Izuku. Izuku scolded himself. He shouldn't have—he was stupid, it was stupid, why would a UA student want to listen to some random teenager who didn't even go to the same school as her, gushing about her fight during a sports festival. Stupid.

But Uraraka smiled.

Izuku couldn't believe his eyes. At this point in his life, Izuku had learned to tell when a smile was genuine. There was nothing about it that seemed forced or malicious.

"It's nice to hear such kind words about my performance, thank you. But I've learned a lot since then. Cleverness won’t always win the fight for me, and with my quirk, the biggest problem is getting to my opponent."

Izuku nodded. He immediately remembered the thoughts he had written down in his notebook while analysing the performances during the sports festival.

"Oh, I bet! Developing your melee skills would probably be essential for you. Once you manage to trap an opponent in your quirk, their options are drastically reduced." Izuku brought his thumb to his chin and rubbed it thoughtfully. "I'm really curious about your hero costume; with your quirk you have a lot of versatility, both in combat and in movement. Also, your quirk seems to be great for dealing with natural disasters, which is a whole other category of problems, but it makes your area of operation very wide, which is perfect for a young heroine, you have so many options to choose from—!"

Izuku trailed off, noticing that Uraraka was hiding a smile behind her hand, her gaze never leaving Izuku's. Oh. She is laughing at me, of course, why would she—

"I'm sorry, but I didn’t understand your last words, which is a shame because you were talking about interesting things."

Izuku hesitated and looked at Uraraka again, unsure... She uncovered her mouth and smiled at Izuku once more, and Izuku... Izuku was blushing again. Interesting? No one ever told me that my mumblings sound interesting.

"I'm Uraraka Ochako, by the way," she said, throwing Izuku completely off balance.

"Oh, I know! From the sports—” Izuku trailed off, blushing even more. "Um. It's nice to meet you. I'm Midoirya Izuku."

"Nice to meet you too!" Uraraka said and strangely enough, it looked like these were sincere words. "What are you doing here? You're not from UA?" She asked, not hiding the fact that she was looking at his uniform.

"I'm waiting for someone," Izuku said, suddenly realising that he'd gotten too deep into the conversation. What if Yagi had already left? He would have called if he hadn't found Izuku, right? He quickly glanced over his shoulder but didn't see the tall figure of his mentor, so he should still have some time.

"Ah, for Bakugo?" Uraraka asked, pulling Izuku out of his reverie. He turned back to her and frowned. "Is that your quirk? You're analysing quirks? Is that why Bakugo is so good at this? Because you helped him?"

Izuku quickly raised his hands in front of him. "What? No! Please don't say that, he will destroy you."

Uraraka laughed. Oh, she didn't take my words seriously. She leaned closer to him and cupped her hand around her mouth as if she wanted to tell him a secret.

"Is that it? His embarrassing secret? It's not his own doing that he's so good. Is that your help?"

Izuku let out a small groan when he realised that Uraraka was serious. "No, no, you have it all wrong," Izuku explained quickly, hoping to minimise the damage. "I'm—" quirkless, he should say, but the word wouldn't come out of his mouth. Because Kacchan's reaction to not having a quirk was burned deep into his mind. Because for years he had been treated like a pushover by that one part of his being. Because the words of his new classmates were still fresh in his mind.

Quirkless. Loser. Wimp.

He should have said it. But he didn't.

"It's not my quirk," he said. "Kacchan really did it all by himself. He's... amazing."

Uraraka snorted softly.

“I don't think he needs any more praise.”

"Well, maybe..."

"Not just maybe, I'm right, I'm in the same class as him and he's insufferable."

Izuku chuckled. "Yeah, that’s him."

Izuku turned towards the exit of the school again and this time, he saw the yellow head of his mentor.

"I have to go!" He said and started to walk away. He turned back to Uraraka and waved as he left. "Sorry for bumping into you again, I—"

"Wait," Uraraka managed to grab his arm before Izuku completely moved away. Izuku flinched at the gesture, not used to the fact that... well. That such gestures didn't involve pain.

Uraraka immediately let go of him, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry," she said, but at the same time, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a notebook and a pen. Izuku stared at her thoughtfully as she scribbled something on the paper, then tore off a small piece and handed it to Izuku. "This is my number. Please text me, okay?" she said, smiling at him.

Speechless, Izuku took the piece of paper and stared at the string of numbers written on it, not quite believing what had just happened. "Okay," he said simply, clenching his fist around the paper. "I will."

Uraraka beamed.

"You better! I'll find a way to contact you if you don't!"

Izuku wasn't sure if that was a promise or a threat.

"Okay," he accepted it. With that, he turned around and looked once more at the piece of paper in his hand. It was surreal. Things like this didn't happen to him.

No one ever wanted anything to do with him. Everyone stayed away from him and avoided talking or interacting with him. He was the one whose absence was ignored. The one no one cared about. It didn't seem real.

And yet he held a piece of paper with the number of someone he had had a nice conversation with and there was a strange feeling inside. A warmth. Somewhere in his chest.

When he turned to Yagi and waved to get his attention, he didn't allow his other thoughts to enter his head for a moment. For a moment, he ignored the obvious reason why Uraraka had given him her number.

She didn't know that he was quirkless.

• • •

Izuku freezes at first. He knows that the matter of his quirk is something they are curious about. The topic has been brought up several times. Todoroki even asked him about it once. Each time, he managed to avoid answering.

Izuku knows that this day is bound to come, sooner or later. He knows their quirks and these are his friends. It is only natural that they are curious.

If it weren't for the uncomfortable feeling in his chest that suddenly makes it hard to breathe. And the knot in his stomach that seems to be pulling him down and down.

This friendship is over, it tells him.

They will hate you now, it whispers.

• 2 •

He met Iida because of Uraraka.

Even though he had been hesitant to write to Uraraka’s number for a long time, trying to decide whether to do it or not, he did it in the end. Uraraka had promised him that she would find a way to contact him if he didn't. She also knew that he was Kacchan’s friend. So Izuku, fearing a situation in which she would go to Kacchan and ask about him, did it. 

Texting with Uraraka wasn't as scary as he had imagined.

Before he knew it, they were texting regularly. About his day. About her day. About the annoying teachers at his school. About the "logical ruses" her homeroom teacher abused. About quirks. About the training they had for hero classes. About everything that was relevant at the time.

For the first time in a long while, Izuku felt that he had someone he could very carefully call a friend and he didn't know what to do with this feeling. It was overwhelming.

At the same time... it drove away some of the darkness that surrounded him in those moments when he sat alone in his room, with no one to talk to.

It didn't end with text messages, of course. They lived in the same prefecture and attended schools not too far from each other. They occasionally met on their days off to do homework or just hang out.

One day when he had finished classes and he knew Uraraka had too, a message came from her asking if he wanted to meet up at a tea shop, one they often visited, with her and her classmate.

Izuku wanted to refuse, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of meeting someone new, but Uraraka bombarded him with "please" messages and millions of pleading emotes.

Izuku was too weak for such an arsenal.

That’s how he was introduced to Iida. The boy, who seemed intimidating at first glance with his self-confident attitude and his aura of seriousness, turned out to be friendly, even if a little intense.

"It's an honour to finally meet you, Midoriya-kun! Uraraka-kun has told me so much about you," he said as they sat down at the floor around the table after Uraraka had introduced them. His voice was strong and carried clearly over the noise of the teahouse.

Izuku was blushing again, not used to this kind of attention.

"Nice to meet you too, Iida-kun! And... I heard a lot of stories from Uraraka-san, too."

Uraraka laughed at that and Izuku looked at her, not sure what she meant.

"With as much as I'm telling you, you're basically our classmate," she agreed.

Izuku shook his head. "I don't think that's how it works."

"Uraraka-kun said your quirk analyses are remarkable," Iida said. "Is that your quirk?"

Izuku flinched involuntarily, feeling as if something had suddenly landed on his back, making him hunch under it. Under the weight of the lie he was about to tell.

He shouldn’t have. He shouldn't have kept the truth about his quirk from them, but he couldn't bring himself to reveal it either. It was shameful, and he felt bad as he opened his mouth to say, "Ah, no. It's not my quirk. I just... really like analysing quirks, you know?"

"Ah, I see," Iida said, though he caught a brief moment of hesitation as he looked sideways at Uraraka and she looked back at him. You were wondering about that, weren't you?" Then I apologise for my assumptions!"

"Oh, it's fine," Izuku assured him immediately. "Really. Um. I saw you at the sports festival," Izuku said, deciding to change the subject to something that seemed easy at the moment. “Your quirk is amazing, and it actually reminds me a lot about Ingen— wait.” Izuku frowned and looked at Iida who smiled at him kindly. "Are you perhaps related to the pro-hero Ingenium?"

"Bingo," Uraraka laughed next to him and Iida nodded.

"That's my older brother," Iida said.

Izuku blinked. "Oh." It was all he could manage. "That makes so much sense," he said.

Right. He was friends with a UA hero student, and now he was sitting at the same table as the brother of one of the heroes he admired?

That was fine. Everything’s fine.

My life became surreal and I don’t even know when.

Izuku resisted the urge to hold his head in disbelief, then remembered the recent news about what had happened to Ingenium.

"Is he, um, okay? I saw what happened after Hero Killer..."

The smile disappeared from Iida's lips, replaced by a sad expression.

"He's... well." Iida looked away through the teahouse window. It was clearly a difficult subject for him to talk about. "He won't be a hero anymore, but he's... as well as he can be. He can't walk and he's only just started physical therapy, but... I promised him I'd take up his mantle and become a hero worthy of his name, so... I'm doing my best."

"I'm sure you will make it, Iida-kun," Izuku said, and he meant it. "You were really good at the sports festival and you could only improve from then on."

Iida looked at Izuku, meeting his eyes for a moment, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Thank you, Midoriya-kun. I appreciate it very much."

Talking to Iida seemed as easy as talking to Uraraka; the three of them didn't even notice that they had been sitting in the teahouse for hours, and it was time for Iida to start getting ready to leave. He lived in Tokyo, and he still had an hour's train ride ahead of him. So they walked together to the station, continuing their conversation. Izuku was at a strange peace when he was with them. As if the thoughts that plagued him almost every day didn't enter his mind when he was with his friends.

• • •

The darkness that had kept its distance since he met his friends is back. It hugs him tightly, like an old friend after a long time, and its grip is so strong that Izuku can't breathe. It brings back all the irritating thoughts that Izuku had hoped he'd left behind long ago.

Instead, they return, alive, to remind him that he's no match for them. That he's a failure, that he's stupid for thinking he has a chance at a real friendship, because he doesn't, and when they find out who he is, that he's been deceiving them from the beginning, they'll hate him. They'll hate him, like everyone else hates him, because Izuku is quirkless, Izuku is unlovable, and it was naive to think that it could be any other way.

• 3 •

His first meeting with Todoroki was arranged by Yagi.

Izuku felt almost betrayed by him when it happened.

It was one of those times when Yagi asked Izuku to wait for him in front of UA. So Izuku did so, keeping an eye out for his mentor who took his time to leave. He knew that this was the case because both Iida and Uraraka had already left the school, talked to Izuku for a moment, confirmed that he had remembered their timetable correctly and that they really had lessons with Yagi, and said goodbye because they wanted to catch an earlier train.

Izuku waited until Yagi finally came out of the gate with the red and white haired boy at his side.

Izuku wanted to wait until Yagi had finished talking to the boy, but then Yagi waved at Izuku, obviously wanting him to join them. So Izuku did so.

Yagi introduced them. Which wasn't necessary since Izuku knew the name of the boy from the sports festival. Todoroki just narrowed his eyes at the sound of Izuku's name. Before either of them could say anything more, Yagi left with the excuse that he had to make an important phone call. Izuku stared at his back in disbelief and betrayal while Todoroki's watchful gaze was placed on him. He turned to the boy, wondering where to start the conversation.

"I saw you at the sports festival," Izuku said. Then he scolded himself. How often was he going to start a conversation with one of the 1-A's by saying that he had seen them at the sports festival?

Todoroki raised an eyebrow.

"Really." Izuku could feel the boredom radiating from the boy after Izuku had brought up the topic. He was more careful with his next words.

"Yeah. Um. Congratulations on your second place! Your fights were really spectacular." Izuku really thought so. Todoroki's quirk fascinated him and Izuku had filled a whole section of his notebook with notes about it. He had carefully extracted the information that had been revealed during the sports festival and then added some of what he had managed to gather from Uraraka and Iida. Some of it... didn't make sense.

Todoroki's expression remained impassive and a cold shiver ran through Izuku.

Did I say something wrong?

"Thank you," Todoroki said in the coldest, most impassive tone Izuku had ever heard.

Izuku hesitated before he opened his mouth again. Something had been bothering him since the sports festival. He wondered how much he was risking by asking about it.

Well... the chances of him ever talking to the boy again were probably slim anyway, right?

"I was wondering, actually," Izuku began slowly. "Why didn't you use the fire side of your quirk during the fights? I saw you use it to melt the ice after attacking Sero, but never during a fight."

Todoroki's look was as cold as the ice his quirk could create. So I definitely asked the wrong question.

"I don't use my left for fighting," Todoroki replied simply.

Izuku frowned.

"But... why? Why would you handicap yourself when you could just use your whole quirk?"

"It's none of your business."

It wasn't. Even though Izuku still had questions in his mind, he decided not to ask them. He knew when to shut up in a conversation and he wasn't going to risk it this time. Even if it made him even more curious.

So he said nothing, trying to move away from the boy as much as possible without drawing his attention. He failed immediately.

"You're the one who hangs out with Uraraka and Iida sometimes," Todoroki said.

Cold sweat ran down Izuku's temple. Todoroki... paid attention to him?

"Um, yes," he admitted.

Todoroki's piercing eyes continued to stare at him. As if they were scanning him like an x-ray, but he was absolutely sure that the boy's quirk didn't have anything to do with that. Izuku spent a lot of time analysing it.

"Why?"

Izuku blinked. Why... what? Why did he hang up with Uraraka and Iida?

"Because they're my friends," Izuku explained.

Todoroki hummed as if that answered his question. Finally, he shifted his suspicious gaze from Izuku to Yagi who was still deep in his conversation.

"I also saw you with Yagi-sensei a few times," Todoroki continued.

That was the end for Izuku. He should bury himself in the ground and never come up again. Change his name, move to another city, or even better, to another continent. Todoroki, THAT Todoroki paid enough attention to him to notice that he hung out with Uraraka and Iida and Yagi a lot? Why?

"Are you Yagi's secret love child?"

W—WHAT?

Izuku saw during the sports festival and later heard from Uraraka and Iida what can happen to Kaminari when he overuses his quirk. His mind would become overloaded for a moment, unable to think clearly, as if his brain had turned to mush. Izuku believed this was a very serious side effect of his quirk.

He thought he now knew exactly how Kaminari felt.

For the next few seconds, which felt like an eternity, he stood rooted to the spot, his eyes glued to Todoroki, refusing to believe that Izuku had heard Todoroki right.

The boy looked deadly serious.

"You're taking too long to answer," Todoroki said after a moment, narrowing his eyes. “You are, aren't you?”

Izuku shook and held his hands out in front of him, feeling his cheeks grow hot.

"No, I'm not! What— You… No?” was all he managed to choke out.

Todoroki's eyes narrowed even more. "Then why does your last no sound like a question?"

“I— You have to be kidding me,” Izuku said and looked around. "It must be a joke, you're making fun of me, aren't you?" He was looking for... what? The students watching him from the shadows? The ones laughing at his reaction to being fooled by Todoroki's question? The students from his class at Iago High School who had somehow made a deal with the boy just to make fun of Izuku?

There was no one there. Yagi was still talking on the phone (what took him so long? Why did he introduce them first and then leave?) Every now and then, someone would come out of UA’s gate, but they were single people who didn't pay any attention to them. There was no one to watch him and laugh at him.

Todoroki still looked deadly serious.

As if that wasn't enough, he said: "No. Why would I make fun of you?”

Because I'm quirkless, popped into his head immediately. Some of his classmates thought this was enough to justify insulting and humiliating him with impunity. But Todoroki didn't know that, and it would stay that way.

For the first time since they had started talking, Todoroki's face showed other emotions than his calm and impassive mask. A small wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows and his gaze somehow changed from cold calculation to cautious concern.

"I'm serious."

Izuku couldn't help it. A hysterical laugh burst from his throat, which Izuku immediately stopped by covering his mouth.

He really was serious. He really was serious.

“And I'm serious too,” Izuku said, somehow regaining his composure. “I'm not—“ he trailed off, the words Yagi's secret love child stuck in his throat. “I'm not.”

Todoroki hummed in response. He tilted his head. Izuku flinched under the gaze, uncomfortable with how intensely Todoroki was watching him.

"Did I... offend you with that question?"

This was officially the strangest conversation Izuku had ever had.

"It's... You can't accuse people you've just met of being someone's secret love child," Izuku said very slowly. He couldn't believe that he was saying these words out loud. "You don't even have anything to prove it."

Todoroki considered.

"So you're saying that I should find proof first," he said.

"That would make more sense." Izuku nodded. Then he realised the mistake he had just made. "But please don't do that. I've already told you that I'm not."

"That's something someone's secret love child would say."

Izuku buried his face in his hands. Could the world end right now? I would be so grateful if the world would end right now.

It was the moment when Yagi decided to return.

"I'm sorry boys, I hope you didn't have to wait too long for me." It had been an eternity. Where were you?

Izuku noticed that Yagi didn't sound sorry.

"It's okay. So, before the next lesson?" Todoroki said and looked at Yagi. Yagi nodded. Izuku frowned.

"Yes, come to me and we'll talk then," Yagi said. "You know where to find me?"

"Yes. Thank you." Todoroki bowed slightly and said goodbye to Yagi before turning to Izuku. "Until next time, Midoriya." Izuku swallowed. Was that... a promise?

"Bye, Todoroki-kun," Izuku replied, for despite what had happened, he was still a polite boy.

But... What was that?

• • •

Silence falls over the small niche in the library they've taken over this day. Izuku feels Uraraka's questioning gaze on him. Uraraka is curious. Izuku knows it. Todoroki and Iida look up from the notebooks they've been staring at. Iida's brow furrows slightly, his gaze fixed on Izuku as if he's faced with a mathematical equation he has to solve. Todoroki tilts his head slightly and narrows his eyes.

The silence seems piercing. As if it suddenly has a sound of its own, one so sharp that it hurts Izuku's ears.

The silence is unnatural as well. Seconds pass and Izuku doesn't know what to say, opening and closing his mouth alternately. One deep breath after the other.

"Deku?" Uraraka shifts nervously. She notices that something is wrong. Everyone notices. Izuku sees how they exchange glances, then look at Izuku, not knowing what to say. Izuku sees it.

Izuku tries to say something.

• 4 •

Izuku couldn't stop thinking about Todoroki. The conversation with him was something he didn't want to repeat, but it also left Izuku with a feeling of intrigue. There was a secret hidden in Todoroki and Izuku... Izuku really wanted to get to the bottom of it.

He was still too intimidated by Todoroki to just walk up to him and talk, but whenever he saw the boy nearby, he made sure to wave to him and say hi.

Todoroki always stopped, maybe a little surprised, and nodded back at Izuku. Izuku considered that a success.

Of course, this also made Izuku pay more attention to the boy and he couldn't help but notice that Todoroki almost always left the school alone. Of course, that shouldn't have been strange, but Izuku asked Uraraka and Iida about it anyway. They told him that it was true. Todoroki tended to keep to himself, even during classes and lunch. Which, well, wasn't Izuku's business, but...

One day, when Todoroki happened to be passing by, Izuku decided to ask him if he wanted to go to a café with them. They were going to sit together and do their homework, which they had been doing a lot of lately.

Todoroki hesitated at the question and looked at each of them. Uraraka and Iida repeated Izuku's invitation and tried to convince the boy and for a moment, Izuku was sure that he would refuse. But he didn't.

Todoroki finally nodded and agreed to join them.

So the four of them ended up in one of the cafes where they were almost regulars at this point. The café was small and very cosy. It was full of books to read and buy, old photos and poems hung on the walls, and the shelves bent under the weight of the books. Usually they chose a table in the corner, squeezed under the mezzanine, because there was a certain privacy there, but this time it was occupied, so they found one on the mezzanine and sat down.

At this point in their friendship, the space around them was filled with almost constant chatter about whatever interesting things had happened to them recently at school or during the day. Todoroki remained silent most of the time, although they tried to include him in their conversation. He always answered questions when asked.

"We always come here to do our homework together, to study or just to talk," Uraraka explained, pulling out a maths textbook on the table.

"Although we do go to the library sometimes," Iida added.

"Do you do that... often?" Todoroki asked. He sounded interested and looked around with unusual attention.

"Yes!" Uraraka nodded. "We can't meet Deku at school, so we meet here instead."

Todoroki focused his gaze on Izuku and Izuku returned it with his own. He seemed to be very confused about something.

"Deku?" He finally asked. The nickname... sounded strange coming from his mouth. Almost unnatural. Definitely not the way it sounded from Kacchan's lips, but not as casually as Uraraka said it either.

"It's... um. My nickname?" Izuku offered cautiously. 

"I heard Bakugo call him Deku and I thought it sounded like 'Dekiru', you know? Like ‘you can do it!’ Which is really cool."

"Yeah," Izuku smiled.

Todoroki seemed confused, which was interesting because Izuku had never seen him like that before. However, he didn't pursue the matter any further and they moved on to other topics while they sipped their coffee or tea or the orange juice that the waitress had brought to their table.

From time to time, Izuku looked over at Todoroki, who had been tense at first but seemed to relax after a while. Izuku couldn't explain why he was happy about this sight.

"So... how did you meet?" Todoroki asked at some point.

"Oh, I... almost ran into Uraraka," Izuku said.

"You almost knocked yourself onto the pavement right in front of me," Uraraka corrected. "Which luckily didn't happen, thanks to my quirk."

"Yeah," Izuku admitted. "Then she threatened me that she would find a way to find me if I didn't answer her number, so I really had no choice."

"I had to make sure he'd do it," Uraraka agreed. "We had a really fun conversation about quirks and I didn't want to lose this gem."

Izuku was blushing.

"Uraraka, please..."

"It's true!" She gave him a bright smile. "And then I introduced them to each other and here we are," Uraraka said, pointing at Iida and Izuku.

"So you talked about quirks?" Todoroki looked at Izuku carefully and Izuku cringed under his gaze.

"Yes, mostly mine." Uraraka nodded.

"Midoriya-kun is very good at analysing quirks!" Iida said.

"Well it's just a hobby—"

"Is that your quirk?" Todoroki asked, looking at Izuku carefully.

Izuku's hand, holding the pencil, twitched slightly.

"Um, no," he said, feeling as if he could hear a ringing in his ears. "It's not my quirk. Just, as I said, a hobby of mine."

Todoroki narrowed his eyes slightly and studied Izuku carefully. Izuku knew that look. He knew what he would ask next.

So he did what seemed to be the most logical thing at the moment and preempted Todoroki's question by completely changing the subject to the maths problem he was currently solving. Iida immediately started to explain it and although Todoroki looked in Izuku's direction later, he didn't bring up the subject again.

Fortunately.

• • •

Lie to them, the voice whispers in his ear. Lie to them and you won't have to worry about them hating you anymore. Think of a quirk that you can't prove exists, there are plenty of them, you can make one up. Maybe something to do with analysis, you know quirks, you can come up with a convincing lie. They'll believe you.

It will be easier than seeing the disgust on their faces when you tell them the truth.

It will be easier than seeing them turn away from you. Telling you they want nothing to do with you.

It will be easier because then you will keep them.

For if you keep them, the darkness will leave and you will be able to breathe freely again.

Lie to them.

But... but that would be selfish.

• 5 •

Since that first time, Todoroki had somehow become a regular part of their meetings. They didn't always meet with all of them, but after a while, Todoroki was added to the group chat and from there, there was no turning back. Izuku was happy about the progress, but he was still sometimes worried about what Todoroki had asked during their first conversation.

He feared that one day, he would bring up the subject again. Perhaps that fear was unfounded. After all, it wasn't as if Todoroki could find any proof that Izuku was Yagi's secret love child, was it?

One of the times when they were supposed to meet without Uraraka—becauses she had plans with the girls that day—Iida told them that he couldn't come because something had come up as well. So it was just Todoroki and Izuku.

They hadn't had a chance to talk face to face since that conversation Yagi had arranged (Izuku was pretty confident that it had been on purpose), so Izuku wasn't quite certain what to expect. Nevertheless, he made sure that Todoroki wanted to meet, since it looked like it would be just the two of them, but Todoroki had replied that he was up for it, as long as Izuku was too.

So they ended up in a teahouse famous for its great matcha and daifuku, squeezed onto one of the windowsills, sitting almost opposite each other, cups of matcha between them, the general chatter of the teahouse surrounding them tightly.

If someone had told Izuku a year ago that he would be meeting the people he called his friends on a regular basis, Izuku would have laughed in their faces.

And yet, there he was, calmly sipping his matcha and looking out of the window at the people rushing about their own affairs. The silence between him and Todoroki didn't seem awkward or uncomfortable, it was even pleasant.

“Has anyone interesting debuted recently?” Todoroki asked, breaking the silence.

Izuku looked at the boy.

"Debuted?" he repeated, wondering what the boy meant.

"You follow all this, don't you? New heroes, their debuts and quirks?"

It wasn't really a secret, since Izuku mentioned it often, although Izuku was somehow surprised by the question. Sometimes, Todoroki would comment on a sentence or two of Izuku's ramblings, but he never really joined the conversation before.

"Um. Do you want to hear about it?"

Todoroki nodded, although he did it almost imperceptibly. "I like listening to you."

The first thing Izuku discovered about Todoroki was that he was honest. He didn't beat around the bush or hide when something bothered him. He said what he thought, always and everywhere. That, combined with his words, was enough to make Izuku cry. But Izuku held back his tears, inconspicuously moving his hands to the corners of his eyes to collect what had accumulated there.

Izuku began to speak, recalling the recent events, while Todoroki listened to him, occasionally chiming in or commenting. He was actually listening to him, which Izuku never doubted his friends did, but in this particular moment, in addition to being encouraged by Todoroki, his chest burst with uncontrollable joy.

"When we first met, you asked me why I didn't use my left side," Todoroki said after Izuku had finished. Izuku, a little surprised by the change of topic, looked at Todoroki who was holding a cup of matcha in his hands and looking out of the window.

"Yes," Izuku admitted without taking his eyes off Todoroki. The boy finally turned his head away from the window and looked at Izuku. For some reason, his gaze still seemed distant. "Have you ever heard of quirk marriages?"

Izuku didn't know what to say after what he had heard. 'What the hell?' didn't quite fit the situation.

“I'm so happy that Hawks took the first place from him in the last Hero Chart, he must feel miserable after gaining the first place to All Might's disappearance, and not his own success.”

Todoroki looked at Izuku, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"You have no idea how angry he was when it happened," the corner of Todoroki's mouth turned up slightly.

"It's only a small part of what he deserves," Izuku said.

There was a moment of silence between them, filled only by the conversations floating around the teahouse, fading into white noise. Izuku was thinking, still reeling from what Todoroki had told him.

"Do you understand now why I don't use my left side?" Todoroki asked.

Izuku looked away.

Todoroki sighed softly. "You don't." Was there resignation and disappointment in his voice?

Izuku closed his eyes for a moment.

"I... understand why you chose it," Izuku said slowly.

"But?" 

Carefully, Izuku looked at Todoroki who was now staring at him intensely. His eyes were so piercing and attentive... as if they were staring into Izuku's soul.

"Look, I don't try to deny how terrible what your father did to you was. It was absolutely bad. You didn't deserve any of it," Izuku said honestly.

"But?" Todorki repeated.

Izuku huffed quietly. "There is no but. There can't be a but in this situation."

"But you still disagree with my decision."

"Two things can be true at the same time, you know?"

Izuku was silent for a moment looking at Todoroki, trying to think of the best way to put into words what he wanted to tell him. He had no idea how to do it.

Until an idea came to him.

"Can I show you something?" he asked.

Todoroki tilted his head slightly.

"What exactly?"

Izuku took that as confirmation and reached into his pocket for his phone. It took him a moment to find what he needed, the video had been incredibly popular for a while.

He pushed aside the now empty matcha cups and sweets plates next to him and moved to the seat next to Todoroki. They were now sitting shoulder to shoulder, a certain, barely perceptible coldness emanating from Todoroki's right side.

"A year and a half ago, there was a villain attack," Izuku said, replaying a scene he'd seen a thousand times. "They called him Sludge Villain."

"I hadn't heard about that," Todorki said, leaning over Izuku's phone.

"He attacked a middle school student. He wanted to make a new body out of him or something," Izuku took a deep breath as he saw Kacchan struggling in the villain's grip. The scene replayed itself many times in his nightmares.

"Why don't the heroes do anything?" Todoroki asked.

"Because none of them had the right quirk," Izuku said. "They made excuses that they couldn't do anything and had to wait for someone with the right quirk to come," Izuku said.

Now, in the video recorded by a random phone, the whole situation didn't seem as dramatic as he remembered. Standing there in the crowd, Izuku had felt as if every second dragged on forever.

"I know because I was there," Izuku said quietly. "I hear them saying that they have to wait, that they can't do anything. That boy," Izuku knew exactly who the boy was, but for the sake of drama, he decided not to reveal it. "He was about to die, but they did nothing."

"How could they?" Todoroki asked, visibly irritated. Izuku didn't answer.

At that moment, he emerged from the crowd. He rushed forward with a speed that Izuku had never imagined. Izuku remembered this moment perfectly. Although he couldn't remember exactly what had happened in his head to make him do it. It was instinct, nothing more. One moment, he was standing with the crowd of onlookers, watching the tragedy unfold before their eyes, and the next, he was halfway to the villain, with no plan, no skills, nothing, just a backpack slung over his shoulders and an iron determination pushing him forward.

"Is that... you?" Todoroki asked.

"Yes," Izuku replied, watching as his younger self took off his backpack and threw it at the villain to distract him, then tried to grasp the ungraspable slime and free Kacchan. "I wasn't thinking at the time. I just wanted to do something, but..."

But it didn't help. And Izuku watched, feeling his stomach tighten uncomfortably as the sludge villain on the screen caught him in its embrace a moment later.

"But I couldn't do anything," Izuku said very, very quietly.

Izuku looked away from the screen, feeling as if he couldn't look at it any longer. They had a long minute before something would happen to change the villain's situation, and every time Izuku looked at it, he remembered the suffocating stench that surrounded the villain and the slime that tried to force itself down his throat, into his lungs, the feeling of panic when he couldn't take a breath, when he couldn't tear it away. So he looked away to see Todoroki. He was staring at the screen, his eyes wide open, his mouth slightly parted. He seemed paler than he had been a moment ago, his left hand clenched in his trousers, the fingers almost digging into his thigh.

"This day, the villain almost claimed two victims," Izuku said quietly. "Me and Bakugo. We almost died there. I almost died there. It was scary and I couldn't do anything."

Izuku didn't need to look at the screen to know what was happening, but he turned his eyes back to the screen to see Best Jeanist enter the scene.

"But the hero showed up," Izuku said. "With a suitable quirk to save us. Almost too late."

Best Jeanist dealt with the situation. He was number three, not for show. He freed Kacchan and Izuku and caught the villain while the crowd chanted his name.

Todoroki looked at Izuku from the screen.

"Were you... okay after that?"

Izuku pulled his phone back as the footage focused only on the Best Jeanist and the cheering crowd.

"I spent a week in the hospital. Luckily there were no serious complications from the incident, so... I am fine," Izuku said.

Todoroki nodded silently.

"Why... did you show me this?" he asked.

Izuku stared into the room in front of him. People were sitting and talking in friendly conversations. They sipped matcha and laughed at the jokes their friends were telling. He needed the distraction to remind him that he was no longer in the place where the sludge villain had attacked him, but in the teahouse, with Todoroki. He tried to tell him something.

"Because you're trying to become a hero, Todoroki-kun," he said quietly. "You're going to save people. And whatever your resolutions are, out there in the field, the most important thing will be the lives you save. The lives of those who will count on you. And... what if one day you find yourself in a fight you can't win without your fire? What if you face a villain who isn't impressed by your ice? For whom your ice will be very suitable?" Izuku turned his gaze back to Todoroki. Their eyes met. Todoroki said nothing.

"You won't use your fire because you don't use it in combat? Or would you use it, but because you don't train with it often, it gets out of control and hurts someone? Lives are the most important thing, Todoroki-kun. And you have to be able to use all your skills to save them." Todoroki looked away. "Besides that," Izuku said and put his hand on Todoroki's left. "It's your power, Todoroki-kun. Not his. It's yours. And you don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to him."

Todoroki slowly lifted his gaze back to Izuku. Izuku removed his hand carefully. They sat very close to each other now, almost touching. Izuku didn't take his eyes off him.

"Who taught you to talk like that?" Todoroki asked.

Izuku smiled softly.

"Does it work?"

"I have to think about it," Todoroki said.

"I know," Izuku said. "You need some time. It's hard to change the way your brain works after so many years of mistreatment."

Todoroki nodded slowly and then looked at Izuku carefully. "Somehow, I have the feeling that you know more about being a hero than I do."

Izuku turned his gaze to the people passing by the window.

"You rushed to help when no one else would," Todoroki continued. "Didn't you ever want to be..."

"That was my dream since I was little, Todoroki," Izuku said, and tears started welling up in his eyes. "Do you know what happened after the attack, at the end, when the heroes freed us from the sludge villain?" He was still staring out of the window. "The heroes praised Kacchan for his bravery, for how well he handled himself. They praised him, and next to him, they scolded me for my stupidity. For being so reckless in rushing there, only to become another victim. And... in the end they were right. I couldn't do anything, I just gave them another civilian to worry about.”

"That's stupid," Todoroki said.

"Yeah, that’s what I just said."

"No, no, this," Todoroki said. "You were the only one there with a hero's heart and they scolded you?"

Tears rolled down Izuku's cheeks and he looked back at Todoroki, who was dead serious.

"It was still reckless," Izuku said.

"Well, two things can be true at the same time."

Tears streamed down Izuku's cheeks and he had to reach into his backpack for a tissue to wipe them away. Todoroki had remained silent the whole time without commenting on Izuku's tears. None of them ever did.

As soon as he had wiped his cheeks dry and had gathered himself enough to look at Todoroki again, he noticed that Todoroki was frowning and watching him closely.

"Midoriya, what's your quirk?" the boy asked.

Izuku held his breath, feeling the blood suddenly and dramatically rising in his ears. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to talk about it.

"Can we not talk about it now? Please," he said, hoping that he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

Todoroki's face grew more worried, but he nodded.

"But... you know that you can tell me everything?" 

Izuku knew. But… his twelve years of experience in being quirkless wasn't so sure about it.

"I know," he told him anyway.

Maybe one day, he would be able to do it. At the moment, he wasn't confident enough.

 + 1 

They had chosen this place because the four of them were working on homework they had to hand in after the weekend. Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki were working on analysing their own quirks, which Aizawa had given them as a post-provisional license assignment.

"I almost feel like cheating," Uraraka had said earlier, after discussing her quirk with Izuku. "It's very convenient that Aizawa doesn't know you, Deku, he would forbid us to meet you before we gave him our papers!"

Izuku laughed shyly and rubbed the back of his head, looking down at his own notebook.

"You're being too nice to me, Uraraka-san," he replied.

"She's telling the truth," Todoroki said with a smug smile on his face. Izuku shook his head in disbelief. Todoroki had become very bold since their last conversation. Which was both a source of joy and a bane for Izuku.

"And it's not cheating," Iida added. "Aizawa didn't forbid us to use additional sources, not to mention the help of our friend."

"If even Iida says it, then it must be true," Todoroki said, getting up from his seat to walk around the table and sit down next to Izuku. He laid his notebook open in front of him and gestured at his notes. "Tell me what you think."

And so it was. Izuku poured over Todoroki's papers and had a quiet discussion with him about his notes and his quirk until Uraraka asked her question and the whole world stopped for a moment.

The walls of the small niche press against Izuku from all sides. The shadows in his mind keep telling him to lie to them and the eyes of his friends are glued to him. Izuku doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want to deal with it. It’s like the worst case scenarios and doubts and fears are pressing in on him from all sides, so much so that he wants to get up and run away.

And never come back.

"Midoriya," Todoroki lays a hand on his, which Izuku only now notices started to tremble. "Why are you so scared?"

Why are you so scared?

They are your friends. They won't hate you. Why do you think you can't trust them? They deserve to know.

But they’ll hate me.

Of course they won't hate you. They're not like your classmates. They deserve your trust.

But what if they'll treat me differently? What if they think I'm weak? That I'm fragile? That I'm vulnerable and in need of protection?

What if— What if— What if—

Todoroki's hand is warm and he frowns worriedly as he looks at Izuku. He’s as worried as the looks of Uraraka and Iida who are watching him from their seats. Never before had anyone looked at him with such concern besides his mom…and Yagi. Izuku hates the way they look at him now.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Iida says.

But you deserve to know.

Izuku takes a deep breath. The warmth from Todoroki's hand still radiates to him, but Izuku pulls his hand away despite himself. He takes his pen in both hands and fidget with it. It's okay. It'll be okay. He lifts his head to look at his friends, whom he trusts after all. His heart is pounding so hard in his chest that Izuku feels like it's going to jump out.

"Ah, it's okay," he says, trying to ignore how it is definitely not okay. “I… I don't have a quirk, actually.” He closes his eyes and bows his head, afraid to see their reactions. "I'm quirkless."

Worthless.

Useless.

He waits. He opens his eyes to stare at the notebook in front of him, to at least pretend that he's okay. That his body isn't tense in anticipation of what they're going to say. Like a spring, compressed tightly, ready to spring back the moment the pressure is released.

"Oh, really?" Uraraka sounds surprised. "Oh, huh, I wasn't expecting that."

"Wait, quirkless?" asks Iida. "But isn't that very rare these days?"

"It is. In my middle school, there was maybe one girl in the upper class who was quirkless," says Uraraka.

"That's cool," Todoroki comments.

The pressure isn't released violently and suddenly as it should be, but gently and carefully. Surprised, Izuku lifts his head and slowly looks around at the faces of his friends. He doesn't see disgust or dislike or even pity. They look... as they always do. Uraraka has a smile on his lips, Iida seems pensive and Todoroki... Todoroki's eyes shine like never before.

"Cool?" Izuku repeats, trying and failing to hide the surprise in his tone.

"There is nothing that defines you. Nothing that tells you what you should or shouldn't be. That sounds very... freeing. You can be whoever you want."

Izuku stares at Todoroki, numbness taking over his mind. Freeing? Being quirkless sounds freeing? 

But it's Todoroki. His whole life has been based on his quirk. No wonder it sounds so good to him.

"Unless you want to be a hero," Izuku says quietly, playing with the pen in his hands. "Then no."

"Ah," Todoroki says softly.

A sigh escapes Uraraka lips. "You want to be a hero, Deku?"

The room falls silent. Izuku looks up at her and nods uncertainly, unable to bring himself to say it out loud. He braces himself for her reaction.

Uraraka gasps softly.

"No wonder you're so good at analysing quirks," Iida says. "It's something that can give you a big advantage on the field!"

Izuku blinks and turns to Iida. Is he... hearing well?

"Oh, that's really cool, Deku! We have to help you..." Uraraka stops suddenly and looks between Todoroki and Iida. "Can we help?"

“There was no quirkless hero in the history, and there is no quirkless hero right now,” Izuku interjects. He leans back in his chair and looks at each of his friends in turn. His mind is a mess, his emotions chaotic. It never... happened like this before.

"This can't be true," Todoroki protests. "There were people who were called heroes before quirks. People who did great things."

"There may not be a quirkless hero now," Iida says.

"Well, that sounds like something we need to change." Uraraka stands and puts her hands on the table. "We need a plan. First, we need to find someone more experienced than us who can give us some tips, maybe." She thinks for a moment. "There is this vigilante who has been appearing at night lately! There are rumours that he's quirkless.”

"Guard Hare," Izuku offers politely, more out of habit than awareness. He feels strangely detached from the conversation unfolding before him.

"But a vigilante is a bit illegal to start with, don't you think?" Iida says. "We should start with some more legal options."

“Right, right,” Uraraka says. “If they fail, then we can move on to these illegal ones.” Izuku focuses his gaze on her. If they fail, then we can move on to these illegal ones? "Do we know anyone..."

"Yagi-sensei," Todoroki suddenly interjects, his suspicious gaze boring into Izuku. “He's quirkless. Just like you."

He says it in such a tone that Izuku knows exactly what he's implying. Izuku decides to ignore it.

"Yagi! He's great, we should talk to him! I'm sure he'll help us."

Izuku swallows and feels like he's just a spectator for a moment, watching this all through the glass. He should react and dampen their enthusiasm. "Guys, I'm... touched by your dedication, but there's nothing I can..."

"Not with that attitude," Uraraka agrees, narrowing her eyes at Izuku. "This attitude is not allowed in our plan. Please show her out of the door.”

Izuku is speechless.

"Besides," Todoroki chimes in, forcing Izuku to look him in the eye. "You are already a hero. You showed me the video, Midoriya. You threw yourself to save someone. If that wasn't heroic, I don't know what it was."

"Stupid and reckless." Izuku suggests quietly. Even though his eyes become glassy at the same time. You are already a hero.

"A reminder that our priority is to work on your self-preservation instinct, as you wanted to say."

Izuku shuts his mouth and watches his friends talking about how to make him a hero and Izuku... Izuku feels the tears welling up in his eyes again. It's not even a question of whether it's possible or not, whether Izuku has a chance to fulfill his dream or not. The point is that...

They... they're not doubting him.

They don’t start treating him differently, they don’t look at him with pity, they don't make faces at him, they don't say that he is useless. No, no and no, Izuku's fears were all unfounded and they...

He is so happy to have them.

Tears pour from his eyes. They flood his cheeks and Izuku needs to reach for his tissues again. Of course, this doesn’t escape the attention of his friends, who fall silent and stare at him.

"I think it's a bit too much for Midoriya, maybe we should slow down a bit," Iida says worriedly, to which Uraraka just starts shaking his head.

"Oh no, I have seen him cry so many times, those are happy tears, right Deku?"

Izuku just laughs softly and wipes away the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"It's not fair that you know me so well," he says and reaches for another tissue.

They give him a moment to breathe, to control his tears, to recover. And as Izuku wipes the wet stains from his cheeks, he realises how light he feels. As if a ray of sunlight hovers inside him, pushing away the darkness, banishing the shadows and that will let Izuku float if he only wants to.

And he was so scared to tell them?

"So, can we go back to our plan?" Uraraka says.

"You're... serious?" Izuku confirms and looks at her, then at Iida and Todoroki as well.

"If you want to become a hero, then it's our duty to help you," Iida says. "It may be difficult, but..."

"But we have to try," Todoroki finishes for him.

Izuku tries to keep the tears from welling up in his eyes again and just nods, his lips forming a broad smile.

It doesn't sound very real when they talk about it. Izuku briefly wonders if he should tell them about his training with Yagi, but then the details might get a bit more complicated, especially since he met him when the man walked the streets at night as his vigilante persona. And the things Yagi teaches him aren't the things he shows his students in heroics. Yes... it's best to keep that to myself for now.

But he listens in disbelief as the plan is formed, and he can't help the warmth that fills his chest. It feels so good to have friends.

"Midoriya?" Todoroki suddenly speaks. Izuku turns to him. "Why were you so scared when Uraraka asked you about your quirk?"

Izuku freezes with his pen on the paper, not knowing what to say. He notices that Uraraka's and Iida's attention is on him as well.

"Because I didn't know how you'd react," he answers, thinking it would be the safest answer.

He's clearly wrong, as confusion appears on all three faces.

"Did you think we'd react badly?" Iida asks, clearly concerned.

"Um," Izuku tries hopelessly. "Well, I knew you wouldn't, I just..." Izuku trails off, not knowing what to say. He has the feeling that there's nothing he can say right now that would make his situation any better.

"Deku... How do people usually react when they find out that you are quirkless?" Uraraka asks.

Izuku presses his lips into a thin line and stares blankly at the characters in his notebook. He doesn't want to leave them unanswered but oh, this is hard.

"Well, it depends. They react very differently. It's... quirkless people are very rare these days, as you said before."

Todoroki frowns.

"And?"

"Well," Izuku sighs quietly and starts playing with his pen again. "Some think it's some kind of disability. Some act as if it's contagious. Some don't care. Some..." he trails off, gritting his teeth and turning his head away from his friends. "I was worried you'd treat me differently, that's all."

"We would never..." Uraraka starts, but Izuku cuts her off.

"I know," he says. He sighs softly. "Logically, I know, it's just..."

"It's hard to change the way your brain works after so many years of mistreatment," Todoroki repeats quietly.

Izuku turns to look at him, meeting the other boy’s eyes as he nods slowly.

"Yes." Izuku looks down at the pen in his hands, taps it against the paper a few times and finally lifts his head to look at his friends once more. "Thanks for... for taking it so well."

"That's basic human decency," Uraraka says. Her voice... Izuku has never heard it so emotionless. Her lips are pressed together; her eyes are wide. She looks like she's ready to murder someone. "You shouldn't thank us for showing basic human decency."

Izuku swallows.

"Uraraka-kun," Iida cautiously holds out a hand, but pulls it back when Uraraka turns to glare at him.

"I want names, Deku," she says. "Of all the people who mistreated you."

Oh, it would take a while to list them all.

"Uraraka-san, please," Izuku says.

"Don't Uraraka me, Deku."

"I will," Izuku protests. "I don't want to focus on it right now. Please."

Uraraka narrows her eyes. "Not right now," she repeats. "All right."

Hopefully not ever, although Izuku fears that the fact that Uraraka will bring it up again one day is one of the most certain things in the universe.

But for now, he doesn't have to think about it. For now, he's among friends. Among friends who know that he's quirkless and accept it completely. Izuku has never been happier.