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1.
His Friday afternoons are often spent in Taehyun’s room.
Yeonjun’s long black hair is sprawled on the bed, buried in Taehyun’s thick sheets (apparently, they help him sleep better). His favourite position is to lay on his back while letting his head dangle in the void.
He technically has three other roommates he can go bother, but somehow Yeonjun always finds himself here almost every week. It’s practically become a part of his routine now.
Taehyun is the type to have his days planned down to the minute details. Tuesdays and Thursdays are his designated gym days, Sundays are his grocery shopping days and Friday afternoons are dedicated for him to catch up on his work. He rarely deviates from this schedule; according to him, he feels more at ease when things are organized.
Yeonjun finds his consistency comforting. His other roommates are quite volatile, to varying degrees, so to have at least one element of stability in his life weirdly grounds him.
This stable routine ensured that when Yeonjun barged into his room, Taehyun was already there, working on his computer.
Every once in a while, Yeonjun glances up at Taehyun. Despite not looking at him, Yeonjun knows that if he were speak, Taehyun would respond in a heartbeat, meaning he’s listening, if absentmindedly. This is proven by the fact that Taehyun instantly responds with a “What’s up?” when Yeonjun lets out a loud whiny groan.
“I dunno. Life’s just kinda frustrating sometimes.” Yeonjun lets his arms dramatically fall on the bed while staring at the ceiling. Taehyun hums approvingly.
“Can’t really argue with that one.”
Yeonjun looks down at Taehyun again. He knows that Taehyun is giving him his full attention and is likely hyper aware of his every movement, even without looking at him, but Yeonjun is feeling whiny and childish and craves more. He crawls over to Taehyun, who’s laying on his stomach, and plops himself on top of him. Taehyun barely flinches, as if he’s used to this behaviour. (He is.)
“Alright, what’s going on?” Taehyun finally lifts his head up, even if he can’t see Yeonjun from this angle. Yeonjun hides his smile in the folds of Taehyun’s shirt: Taehyun can smell his intentions from a mile away.
“I went on a date yesterday.” Yeonjun’s voice is quiet, almost hesitant, as if he’s now realizing how silly this entire thing really is.
This always happens to him: he’ll be overthinking a specific situation like a maniac, until he shares it to somebody else and realizes how ridiculous he’s been.
Thankfully, Taehyun isn’t the type to judge on first listen. He always takes the time to listen to Yeonjun’s stories, no matter how goofy they are.
“And?”
“It honestly kind of sucked. Actually, no, it didn’t really, but that’s the problem. The date was fine but for some reason, I didn’t like it. It’s been like this for a while, and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, or worse, if there’s anything wrong with me.” Yeonjun sighs loudly, which ends up coming out more like a whine. He expects Taehyun to go back to his listening while typing habit, but he surprisingly doesn’t.
“Okay, well, first of all, there’s nothing wrong with you, so we can check that one off.” Yeonjun isn’t convinced, but doesn’t argue. “Second of all…”
Taehyun pauses and shakes Yeonjun off of him so he can sit up. Yeonjun can’t stop the pout from reaching his lips.
“What was it about the date that you didn’t like? Maybe you guys just weren’t compatible.”
“Maybe,” Yeonjun muses. He had a tendency to go on dates with people that were way outside of his preferences for some reason.
“But…?”
“But.. I don’t even know. I cannot even tell you what’s the thing that didn’t click for me. It’s like, I’ll go on the date and enjoy myself decently but ask me if I’ll go on a second and I’m like ehhhhh.” Yeonjun rubs his forehead in frustration. He watches as Taehyun crosses his legs, his eyebrows furrowed as he seems to genuinely consider his dilemma.
Yeonjun trusts Taehyun’s input the most, because he’s a super smart programming major. His analytical brain is the backbone of their friend group (and quite frankly, one of the only reasons why some of them are still alive), and his blunt honesty keeps him straight. If Huening Kai is there to cheer him up with overwhelming positivity, and Beomgyu is there to make fun of him (and Soobin is there to be a mix of both), Taehyun exists to humble him.
“Well, like I said, maybe it’s just a lack of compatibility. Either you just keep going on dates with people that aren’t your type, or you already like someone so your brain is automatically eliminating every other option.”
“Like someone? Who would I even like?” Yeonjun sputters, his eyes going wide.
“I don’t know,” Taehyun shrugs. “Maybe you don’t. I’m just throwing hypocriticals out there.”
“Right,” Yeonjun laughs nervously, ignoring the warmth pooling at the pit of his stomach. “Well, I think the first option would make more sense. But then, how do I fix that?”
“I don’t know, just identify your preferences and date people that check those boxes?” Taehyun makes it sound so simple, but somehow, it’s not. It never is.
Yeonjun wishes it was, though. He wishes he could just go out there and find the perfect guy right at his doorstep. He wishes he could go on a date and not overthink to the point of giving himself six different existential crises.
He wonders what it’s like to have a brain like Taehyun’s. A brain that’s sharp, straight to the point and doesn’t continuously make him miserable. It sounds peaceful.
“You make it sound so easy …” Yeonjun sighs, shifting his position so he’s sitting across from Taehyun.
“Is it not? Because, if that’s the case, I don’t think I’m the best person to ask,” Taehyun laughs lightly. “I can’t even remember the last time I went on a date.”
Out of all of his roommates, Taehyun is the one who is the least romantically involved. Yeonjun refuses to believe it’s anything other than a personal choice, because it’s impossible that people aren’t attracted to him.
Taehyun has big eyes. Despite his more laid back personality, he has a baby face that betrays any trace of maturity he tries to exude; it’s his gaze, keen and pensive, that gives away the depth he possesses within.
That, combined with his soft features, makes him appear way cuter than he has any right to be, yet people somehow weren’t lining up at his door. Maybe dating just isn’t on his radar; Yeonjun can’t blame him.
“This is hopeless. What’s the male equivalent of being a cat lady? Because I think that’s where I’m headed.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Taehyun rolls his eyes. “That is absolute dog shit.”
“And how are you so sure?” Yeonjun challenges, raising an incredulous eyebrow at him. Taehyun narrows his eyes at him.
“Are you serious? Have you seen yourself? People with faces like yours don’t finish alone.”
“Okay, but,” Yeonjun pouts. “I don’t wanna be in a relationship just because I’m pretty.”
“I never said that’s all you have going for you. I’m just saying you have pretty privilege.”
“Oh.” Yeonjun doesn’t say anything else.
(He’s also really bad at taking compliments so the heat definitely starts rushing to his cheeks.)
“You also obviously are a funny, caring and incredibly loyal person. There’s no way you’re not gonna find someone.” Taehyun says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. If Yeonjun asks, he’ll probably say it is. He doesn't know how to process that.
“So you don’t think I’m weird and obnoxiously clingy?”
“Oh, no, you’re definitely all of those too,” Yeonjun hits his arm while Taehyun laughs. “But it’s okay. We all still love you. I bet most people find it charming.”
“Well, they sure have a funny way of showing it!” Yeonjun flares his arms around. “If that’s how they feel, why don’t they just tell me? Do you know how nice it’d be if someone went ‘hey, you’re so weird but that makes you cool’ or something, just once?”
“Something tells me they already do. You forget that you’re quite oblivious.” Taehyun remarks, a cryptic look in his eyes that Yeonjun doesn’t quite know how to decipher.
“Why are you defending these hypothetical people? You have no proof of your claims.” Yeonjun argues, his tone defensive.
“Yeonjun.”
“I’m not even oblivious. Don’t you think that if something was happening in front of my face, it would’ve clicked in my head by now?”
“Yeonjun—”
“Which goes back to what I was saying. What will it take for me to—”
Yeonjun doesn’t get to finish his thought because Taehyun cuts him off by grabbing his collar and kissing him. It’s so sudden, he doesn’t even see it coming.
His eyes go wide but he doesn’t have the time to react, because Taehyun pulls back almost immediately. Yeonjun sits there in stunned silence, every word on the tip of his tongue dying instantly.
“You talk too much. You’re barely 25, and you’re already having an existential crisis over silly dates. Relax.”
“Was that ... all just to shut me up?” Yeonjun finds himself stuttering, his brain still short circuiting.
“Well, clearly, it was impossible to shut you up the normal way. It’s usually hard to get you to stop when you go on one of these spiral rants anyway. It worked, though, didn’t it?” For one of the rare times, Taehyun gives him a cheeky smile and Yeonjun’s face goes completely red.
“In all seriousness, you worry way too much. You’re not even halfway into your 20’s yet, dude. Your love life is not doomed. Please take it easy.” Taehyun puts both hands on Yeonjun’s shoulders and gives him a serious look. Yeonjun is unable to argue this time so he simply nods.
This is what sets Taehyun apart from the others. While the others like to baby him, Taehyun isn’t afraid to drag him through the mud if necessary. The others would’ve hyped him up and would’ve made him admit he was great; Taehyun bullied him for thinking otherwise. He had a gift for reminding Yeonjun that sometimes, his rants were really stupid.
“Okay. Will do.”
“Good.” Taehyun nods, satisfied with himself, before letting go of him. Yeonjun sits on those thoughts for a few moments, his face still burning.
“Hey Taehyun?”
“Yeah?”
“Is this your way of saying that if I go on another unhinged rant, you’re gonna shut me up again?” Yeonjun has to duck to dodge the pillow that gets thrown his way. He laughs so hard he ends up falling on his back.
“You’re so shameless.” Taehyun shakes his head as Yeonjun absolutely loses it.
“Worth a shot.”
He’s joking, obviously. He doesn’t actually expect Taehyun to kiss him again. It was a perfectly timed rash decision that didn’t even mean anything. He just enjoys teasing Taehyun.
Yeonjun closes his eyes and truly allows himself to enjoy the comfort of Taehyun’s bed. The mattress dips a bit, but he doesn’t think much of it (after all, why wouldn’t Taehyun move on his own bed?)
When he opens his eyes, he’s met with a close up view of Taehyun’s face and his breath catches in his throat.
“Are you being serious or are you just messing with me?”
“What?” Yeonjun blinks, the few remaining neurons in his brain completely failing him.
“What you just said. Are you seriously so down on your luck that you want me to kiss you?” Taehyun raises a skeptical eyebrow. His breath smells of mint.
“Uh,” Yeonjun is genuinely unable to focus. Taehyun’s proximity is embarrassingly distracting. “I... I mean, I wouldn’t say that… like I’m not that down on my luck, no, but like, I mean, if you wanted, I wouldn’t be opposed either.”
Is that an embarrassing thing to admit to your roommate? Maybe. But in his defence … it’s been so long. He hasn’t kissed his past three dates. He’s ashamed to admit it, but he did get the slightest bit of buzz during that 3 second kiss. His body is severely lacking.
Plus, it wouldn’t mean anything. Taehyun is pretty and single: it’d just be a kiss between roommates. No big deal.
Despite the fact that he’s (half) serious, Yeonjun maintains a joking tone (in case it backfires) so he doesn’t really expect anything from Taehyun. He’s mostly being an idiot and messing around anyway, so it’s not like he’d even get upset about it.
However, Taehyun surprises him by leaning down and kissing him again.
It’s a little longer than last time, and only the slightest bit more purposeful, but Yeonjun is too stunned to fully process it. Thankfully, it’s long enough that he has time to reciprocate before Taehyun pulls back.
“Now, will you stop whining, you big baby?” Taehyun’s tone is teasing, but his big eyes are unreadable. Yeonjun’s breath is admittedly still a little shaky.
“Yes.” He replies quietly like a kid settling down after getting what he wants. Taehyun nods before getting off of him and going back on his computer.
Yeonjun waits a few seconds before glancing over at him. Taehyun’s face is absent of any kind of clue as to how he’s feeling right now. He waits longer to see any change, but when the stone cold expression persists, he looks at the ceiling.
(Yeonjun wonders if he enjoyed it too. He doesn’t see the smile that Taehyun is failing to hide.)
—-
2.
“Remind me why we’re here again?”
Yeonjun stirs the drink in his hand as he scrunches his nose.
Parties are a hit or miss thing for him. When he’s in the mood, he’s gonna turn it up like no other and drink his face off, basically becoming the life of the party. When he’s not feeling it, though, he feels more like a deflated balloon.
But Huening Kai insisted they go. Apparently the host is his friend, and he didn’t want to go alone, so he brought Yeonjun, because Yeonjun is the biggest extrovert out of all of them, and knows parties better than anyone.
While Yeonjun is flattered by the honour, his exhaustion is starting to catch up to him, not helped by the alcohol in his system. At least Hyuka is there with him.
“Oh, come on. It’s not even that bad.” He’s right. It’s not. Yeonjun is just feeling fuzzy.
“I just think it’s too noisy. Like, I might just get a headache if this keeps up.” Yeonjun whines, covering one of his ears with his free hand.
“Oh, that’s an easy fix. Let’s just switch rooms.” Hyuka grabs his wrist and drags him out of the room without a second thought. Yeonjun lets him, because Hyuka is strong, and also seems to be able to easily make his way through dense crowds.
They make it to the other side, but Yeonjun stays glued to him still. Hyuka just has this comforting presence that’s unparalleled.
“Better?” Hyuka asks with this sweetness that’s so characteristic of him.
(Yeonjun always believed that if kindness was a person, it would be Huening Kai. He gets proven right time and time again.)
“Yes, much. Thank you.” Yeonjun nods, grabbing ahold of Hyuka’s arm like it’d kill him to let go. This room is significantly less crowded; the only other people here are the small group sitting in a circle not too far from them.
Yeonjun sees the way Hyuka is eyeing them, and he knows his sweet sweet social butterfly of a friend well enough to know exactly what his next move is gonna be, so he mentally prepares himself.
“Ohhhhh, it looks like they’re playing a game over there. Should we go join them?” Hyuka gestures to them, a flicker of excitement in his eyes. (Yeonjun is so losing this argument.)
“Are you sure you wanna disrupt them? Do you even know these people?”
“Pleaseeeeee noona? We’re here to have fun, right?” Hyuka is tugging on his shirt and making big eyes at him. (Yep, he never stood a chance.)
Huening Kai calls him noona sometimes. He had first called him that after Yeonjun started wearing his hair longer, and it started out as a joke, until Yeonjun realized he actually really liked being called that.
He couldn’t explain why he felt that way. He just knew that his heart swelled every time he got called noona. Hyung worked too, obviously (in fact, Hyuka used them both interchangeably), but noona just hits different. Hyuka used it sparingly, so it made every time feel all the more special.
(He’s also the only one to use it. His other friends had never referred to him as that. But it’s okay. Yeonjun kind of likes that Hyuka has exclusivity over it.)
“Fine.” Yeonjun concedes with a sigh. Hyuka smiles victoriously and drags him to where the group is seated.
They’re seemingly playing spin the bottle. Yeonjun thinks that game is silly and outdated (what are they, teenagers?) but he doesn’t say anything. He’ll tough it out for Hyuka.
(He has a soft spot for him. He can’t help it.)
At least the others are familiar with Huening Kai. They greet him warmly and eagerly integrate him into their game, so they thankfully skip the whole introduction part.
(Thank God. It’s always the worst part.)
Huening Kai quickly gets into the game. Yeonjun is begrudgingly participating at first, until he looks up and makes eye contact with one of the most beautiful men he’s ever laid his eyes on, and suddenly he’s all in. (He is only a man after all.)
Turns out, the game isn’t just spin the bottle, it’s 7 minutes in Heaven. That’s even better.
Yeonjun is already picturing himself in pretty boy’s arms. They’d both make their way to whichever closet is nearest. Yeonjun would hesitate at first, way too flustered (and quite frankly a little sexually frustrated) to make the first move. Then the beautiful man would take the initiative and kiss the shit out of him until they both couldn’t breathe. Maybe they’d go back in for a second round after catching their breaths and need to be separated by everyone else.
He keeps looking up in the hopes of catching the attention of the guy. He succeeds at one point, but has to look down because his stomach flips on itself. The anticipation is absolutely excruciating.
Until the bottle lands on Hyuka.
Yeonjun’s stomach flips again, but for completely different reasons. Despite him now being 22 years old, Yeonjun cannot unsee Hyuka as the baby of the group. In his eyes, he still sees the 16 year old he met in his dance class all those years ago. The idea that someone is going to kiss him feels wrong somehow.
(Even though he knows damn well that Hyuka isn’t a baby anymore and that he definitely has more experience than he lets on.)
Yeonjun’s concern doesn’t last long, though, because the bottle lands on him.
Wait, what?
The next thing he knows, they both get shoved into a closet. Yeonjun barely has time to meet pretty boy’s eyes before the door shuts in his face.
He stands there, blinking in disbelief while Huening Kai bursts out laughing.
“Okay, so, when I said participating in the game, this is not what I meant.” He manages to muster in between giggles. Yeonjun decides to sit on the floor.
“Ugh, did you see that cute guy in the circle? Man, I wish I could've kissed him.” He catches himself pouting just thinking about it and sighs dramatically.
“Yeah, I saw the way you were looking at him.” Hyuka plops down to the floor to sit across from him. Yeonjun takes the time to get a good look at him.
He’s never really considered the idea of kissing Huening Kai.
He’s admittedly a super attractive guy, but Yeonjun has always seen him as the baby of their friend group, the one that he adores and swears to protect with his life. The idea of kissing him feels odd, but surprisingly not as odd as he had expected.
“Well, alas, that’s not happening. Instead, it’s you and me.”
“Yeah,” Huening Kai looks at him too. “Feels kind of wacky, doesn’t it?”
“A little, yes.”
“You’re right.” Hyuka nods and Yeonjun giggles quietly. “So what do we do? Should we do it?”
“I feel like they’ll know if we don’t,” Yeonjun glances over to the door, that’s clearly closed, but who almost seems ominous all of a sudden. Despite having no way to confirm it, he just knows that someone’s probably trying to eavesdrop them right now.
When he turns his head back, he’s met with the closest view he’s ever had of Hyuka’s face. His breath hitches and he can’t help but stare, completely entranced.
Huening Kai recently dyed his hair back to dark brown, after months of having it blonde. While his previous hair colour fit him like a charm, there’s something about his natural colour that brings out his facial features.
“Shouldn’t be so bad right?” Huening Kai seems so nonchalant about this; meanwhile, Yeonjun cannot muster a single word. He simply shrugs and Hyuka does too. For a second, Yeonjun wonders if he’s actually gonna do it but Hyuka cuts his questioning short by kissing him.
He kisses him once, almost like a test drive, before pulling back and going back in again. Yeonjun can confirm that Hyuka has definitely had more experience than he initially thought.
He’s half sitting on Yeonjun’s lap, at this point (because of the restraint space in this closet). Yeonjun notes that Hyuka’s kisses are just as gentle as his personality.
He expected it to feel weird, but it strangely doesn’t. Hyuka knows exactly when to tilt his head, when to move more into his personal space, and even when to start playing with his hair for maximum effect. Yeonjun almost loses his mind.
When Huening Kai pulls back for good, he catches a glimpse of Yeonjun before bursting out laughing.
“You should see the look on your face right now. You look absolutely stunned.” Hyuka giggles, leaning his forehead against Yeonjun’s shoulder.
“You went back a second time! I didn’t even know you had that in you.” Yeonjun protests, pushing him away. He crosses his arms but the big smile on Hyuka’s face makes him unable to stay upset for very long.
“Well, duh, of course I do!”
“Okay, but was the hair playing necessary?”
“No, but your reaction was cute.” Yeonjun ducks his head in embarrassment. Hair playing is his weaknsss. Huening Kai absolutely knows that. (Asshole.)
“You’re mean.”
“See, you’re not the only one with moves, are you?” Hyuka exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Yeonjun raises his hands up innocently.
“It appears not. I’m pretty impressed.” Beat him at his own game. That overprotectiveness from earlier turns into pride.
When the closet door opens, it’s Huening Kai that’s clinging onto him this time (at one point, he had decided to tackle Yeonjun for a hug, and Yeonjun had simply let him).
Neither of them kiss anyone else for the rest of the night, but they are both okay with it (Yeonjun has accepted his fate as a yearner from a distance). They stay glued to each other’s side until they get home.
(Unbeknownst to Yeonjun, Huening Kai was a little too happy when pretty boy eventually left the circle.)
—-
3.
“You son of a bitch!”
When Yeonjun barges into the living room, Beomgyu is quietly playing video games.
“Why, hello, hyung. Yes, I’m fine, thank you for asking, how are you?” Beomgyu doesn't look away from his game as he talks. His nonchalance clashes heavily with Yeonjun’s fury.
“I know you’re the one who ate my leftovers! My leftovers! The ones I so clearly identified this time just to make sure there’d be no misunderstandings! Are you fucking kidding me?”
Yeonjun is livid. Completely livid.
He loves his friends, he really does, but living in a household with four other people nearly drives him insane sometimes.
His personal space is practically non existent, the bathroom is almost always occupied somehow, silence is basically just a concept at this point, but somehow, somehow, these are all things that he can tolerate.
He can tolerate walking in his room to see someone on his bed, he can tolerate finding some of his clothes missing, he can even tolerate the few extra pieces of laundry that mysteriously make their way onto his dirty clothes pile.
But he draws the line at touching his food.
Yeonjun is extremely protective of his food and all four of his roommates are all too aware of this fact. And yet for some reason, Beomgyu likes to walk that very dangerous line.
To be frank, that’s just who Beomgyu is. He likes to play with fire, he enjoys teasing, he finds pleasure in testing the limits. He’s currently being uncharacteristically quiet, but Yeonjun knows he’s hiding a sly smirk under that look of indifference. When Beomgyu looks up to finally look at him, Yeonjun immediately sees that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Asshole.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Beomgyu blinks slowly in a pathetic attempt at innocence. His audacity is so appalling Yeonjun feels like he’s gonna lose his mind.
“I literally cannot stand you.” Yeonjun leans in closer, right in Beomgyu’s personal space, just to make sure his words hold the weight he wants them to. And then it happens. A smile slowly starts to creep on Beomgyu’s face.
For a brief moment, Yeonjun sees red. The next thing he knows, he’s grabbed the remote from Beomgyu’s hand. He’s never seen that sly smile disappear so fast.
“Hey, what the hell are you doing? Give it back.” Beomgyu extends his hand to take it back but Yeonjun steps back and holds it higher.
“Oh, you mean this thing?” Yeonjun purposefully waves it around in Beomgyu’s face and moves it out of his grasp as soon as he tries to stretch for it.
“Hey, that’s not funny, my game’s not even paused, give it back.” Beomgyu gets up and walks towards him, but Yeonjun holds the remote up as high as he can, out of his reach. Their height difference is finally coming in handy. “If you make me lose all my progress, I’m gonna kill you.”
“Doesn’t feel so good to have something you care about be snatched away from you, doesn’t it?”
“Are you seriously comparing your food to my fucking game?”
“Yes the fuck I am!” Yeonjun’s face breaks into a smile right as a scowl appears on Beomgyu’s. He makes another attempt to grab it by putting himself on his tippy toes but Yeonjun swiftly moves his arm away again and even takes a few steps back to stand right by the couch.
“They are not equivalent at all and you know it!”
“They are to me! I’ve been waiting all fucking day to eat that meal!” Yeonjun gives the most dramatic pout he can muster and Beomgyu rolls his eyes. He opts for a more desperate tactic by jumping to try and reach the remote, but Yeonjun jumps along with him, giggling in the process.
“God, you’re so fucking annoying.” Beomgyu practically throws himself at him and they both lose their balance, tumbling down on the couch. Yeonjun falls on his back, while Beomgyu falls right on top of him. Yeonjun nearly shrieks as Beomgyu tries to debate himself.
“Just admit you’re the one that took my leftovers and I’ll give it back.”
“I’m telling you it wasn’t me!” Beomgyu insists, glaring at him. “Why do you always accuse me first?”
“Because it’s almost always you.” Yeonjun immediately retorts back, mirroring his glare. “You’re always the one starting shit.”
“Okay, well, it wasn’t me this time.” Beomgyu starts aggressively moving again so Yeonjun wraps his arms around him to trap him (which earns him another glare.)
“This implies that it was you the other times… I knew it.” Yeonjun narrows his eyes at him and Beomgyu groans loudly.
“God, do you ever shut up?”
“No.”
Relentless, Beomgyu tries to wriggle his way higher to reach for his target, practically kicking Yeonjun to set himself free. Yeonjun knows he’s losing the upper hand. So he switches gears.
He moves his face closer to Beomgyu’s until there’s only a few inches separating them. The tactic works: Beomgyu is effectively distracted and freezes.
For a few seconds, their previous fight seems so futile and distant. Beomgyu’s breath hitches ever so slightly and Yeonjun’s smile is edging on a smirk.
“You think you’re so slick, don’t you?” Beomgyu finally manages to say after his brain recovers. It’s Yeonjun’s turn to play the innocent card.
“Do I?” Yeonjun tries not to smile. Now it’s Beomgyu’s turn to look livid.
The game’s background music is still playing. Thankfully, the video game Beomgyu picked isn’t one where enemies charge at you, so his character is safe, frozen in the position they’ve been left at.
Despite how often they bicker (and by often, he means daily), their faces have never been this close before. Beomgyu’s breath is hot against Yeonjun’s skin, and his nearly shoulder length hair is brushing against Yeonjun’s forehead.
He’ll give Beomgyu that, he is very pretty, pretty enough for it to be something Yeonjun is reminded of every once in a while when he looks Beomgyu’s way. Not pretty enough to deter Yeonjun’s stubbornness, though.
“Fuck you.”
“What’s wrong? Was it something I said?” Yeonjun makes big eyes at him, practically batting his eyelashes. Beomgyu suddenly stops debating himself and meets his gaze. The lingering silence that follows causes Yeonjun to start staring.
“You know what, hyung?” Beomgyu breathes out. “Well played. But two can play that game.” Yeonjun isn’t exactly sure what he means by that until Beomgyu closes the gap between them.
He’ll give credit where credit is due: he definitely hadn’t seen that coming. His brain briefly forgets all about their quarrel, until he feels Beomgyu subtly trying to stretch his arm to reach for the remote, using the kiss as a distraction. Catching on quickly, Yeonjun lowers his arm at ground level and away from him and deepens the kiss on purpose, just to mess with him more.
At first, Beomgyu tries to wriggle away, but slowly, his attempts get weaker and weaker until he just stops all together. His arm drops and his body slowly moves closer to Yeonjun’s.
Even Yeonjun, who was still stubbornly holding onto the remote up until this point, eventually lets go of it, and drops it on the floor.
Yeonjun knows he doesn’t need to keep this up: his argument has been made, he won, he no longer needs to distract Beomgyu anymore. However, his body weirdly cannot bring itself to pull away. Beomgyu seems to be feeling the same way, because he adjusts his arms so they’re in a more comfortable position and even tilts his head a little.
Some of that frustration from their fight lingers still, channeling itself through both their energies. It’s not aggressive per say, just the slightest intense. One might say it’s almost desperate.
Beomgyu’s hands feel just right on Yeonjun’s chest, and Yeonjun’s arms fit nicely around Beomgyu’s waist. Their prior fight is just a distant memory. It’s almost comfortable, in a way. Yeonjun’s thoughts start to shut down.
One of the doors suddenly slams open and they both move away from each other so fast Beomgyu nearly crushes Yeonjun while trying to untangle himself from him. Thankfully, the entrance is behind the couch so no one saw them.
“Is Yeonjun noona here?” It’s Huening Kai. Yeonjun peeks his head from behind the couch.
“Yeah, I’m here.” Yeonjun’s face probably looks flushed right now. He doesn’t even know what his hair currently looks like, but it’s probably best this way. Hyuka smiles at him, blissfully unaware.
“Taehyunie and I need help with our lights again. I swear, that lightbulb burns every two days.”
“Ah, right,” Yeonjun nods. He’s the designated electrician of the house because Taehyun is too short and Hyuka and Soobin, who are both taller, cannot understand any of this to save their lives. “I’ll be right over.”
“Cool, thank you, hyungie.” Hyuka smiles before turning his heel and leaving. By then, Beomgyu has reclaimed his spot on the couch and resumed his game.
Turns out, their shenanigans haven't disrupted his progress; he resumed exactly where he left off. Yeonjun lets him do his thing, slowly sits up and exits the room without another word.
They never address this incident up ever again. The next time they see each other, they act as if nothing ever happened. Their friendship remains unaffected and the kiss simply becomes a weird blip in their relationship.
(Though sometimes, in the deep of night, Yeonjun catches his brain briefly thinking about it. He doesn’t know that Beomgyu does too.)
—
4.
It’s a little past midnight, at this point.
Yeonjun watches as his breath forms white puffs of air every time he exhales. Sometimes, he wonders if this is how people who smoke feel every time they take a drag.
Now would be the perfect moment to smoke, if he smoked. No one to bother him, the air stiff and quiet, with the wind barely grazing his skin.
Sadly for his romanticized fantasy (but thankfully for his lungs), he doesn’t smoke, so he simply sits on the bench and watches the continuous flow of balls of condensed air escaping his lips and listens to his phone while he waits for the other line to pick up.
Thankfully, after the fourth ring, the phone goes quiet, until Yeonjun hears someone shifting on the other side of the line.
“Hello?” The voice sounds tired and muffled, but just the sound of it calms whatever anxiety was inhabiting him.
“Hey, it’s me.” Yeonjun sounds dejected, even though he’s not. He’s just tired, so tired, and he already had a shift earlier today, and he doesn’t even know why he thought he could do both on the same day. He feels overwhelmed and he just needs to unwind so he decided to call home. But he didn’t just call anyone.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up. Part of me kinda hoped you were still awake.”
“Ah, Yeonjunie, it’s you. Don’t worry about it. You and I both know I wasn’t.” Yeonjun feels a little sheepish, but somehow he still manages to laugh. He didn’t even think he was even in a disposition to even laugh right now.
But that’s the thing about Soobin. Making people laugh is just something that comes naturally to him, even when he’s not even trying to.
(Also, for reasons he can’t explain, the nickname helps him feel at ease, even if it’s a negligible amount. Maybe it’s the warmth in his tone that makes it sound comforting.)
“Is everything okay, though? Aren’t you at your family reunion right now?”
Soobin’s first reflex is always to get worried. His protective instincts are as strong, if not stronger than Hyuka’s. The alarm in his voice is apparent.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Yeonjun assures. “I’m a little overwhelmed, but I’m outside so it’s better now. I’m just calling you because I wanted to hear your voice.”
“Aw hyung,” Soobin coos with exaggerated sweetness. “If you keep this up, I’m gonna think that you like me.” Yeonjun knows it’s a joke. Maybe it’s something about the delivery, or related to the giggle from Soobin that follows, but Yeonjun’s entire body heats up, despite the cold.
“Oh my god, be normal about it, jeez.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes, but the echo of Soobin’s laughter destroys any semblance of a composure he has.
“Sorry, sorry,” Soobin giggles. “But I’m glad to know you’re okay. You said you were overwhelmed, though?”
“Yeah,” Yeonjun nods to no one but himself. “I don’t know, I mean, I’m not saying I’m not having a good time, because I am, and, like, everyone is here, even relatives I haven’t seen in ages but .. it’s just very loud. Which is a given, but like, man is it overstimulating. And I think my social battery is dead too, so there’s that.”
“You also sound exhausted.” Soobin points out.
“I am. Shift was long.”
“So now, what? Are you gonna leave?”
“Can’t. I don’t think my ride’s ready to leave yet, if at all.” Yeonjun’s cousin came to pick him up in the middle of the day. They spent the afternoon together before going to meet the others.
“Plus, everyone expects me there, so I can’t really leave yet. But it’s okay. I just needed to recharge my battery.”
“You’re talking to me, though,” Soobin remarks. “Doesn’t that make it worse?”
“Well, you’re not two dozen people talking simultaneously.” Yeonjun retorts almost immediately. “Plus, you don’t count.” He can already picture Soobin’s eyebrow raise, but he doesn’t have a reason that isn’t completely embarrassing, so he justifies himself by simply saying “I live with you. I kinda stopped being overwhelmed by you a long time ago.”
Thankfully, Soobin buys his bluff and laughs. “Y’know what, fair point.”
“All of this to say I’ll be fine. I just needed to take a breather and … I guess talk? I don’t know, but I knew you’d lend me a listening ear, so thank you. I should be good for round 2.”
“Are you sure?” Soobin’s voice has softened. Ever so caring, even after Yeonjun has assured him he’s fine. Yeonjun can’t help but be endeared.
“Yes. I promise.” Yeonjun hopes he comes off more genuine than he actually is.
“Okay,” Soobin breathes out. “Well, it’s always my pleasure to help you, you know that. I’m actually glad you called, I was just thinking about how you were doing.”
“Aw, Soobinie, I can’t believe you were thinking about me.” Yeonjun sneers, his voice dripping with the same exaggerated sweetness as Soobin’s earlier. He doesn’t even need to see him to know that Soobin is probably scrunching his nose and rolling his eyes.
“Oh, shut up.” Soobin responds in that flustered whiny tone he has whenever he gets teased. Yeonjun finds it adorable.
“Maybe I do sometimes! Sue me.”
“That’s so cute.” Yeonjun coos, earning him a groan from Soobin. “But I appreciate it. Thank you for caring about my wellbeing in my absence.”
“I always care about your well-being.” Soobin clarifies without missing a beat.
“I know.” Yeonjun doesn’t even notice the way his own voice softens up too.
He jumps up when the patio door slams open and he hears his name. When he turns around, he finds one of his cousins standing by the door.
“There you are! Everyone’s been wondering where you’ve been.” She yells at him from a distance, even if he’s not that far away.
“What are you even doing outside? It’s so cold out, come back inside!”
“Give me a minute!” Yeonjun promises, moving his phone away from his face. His cousin gives him a thumbs up before walking back inside.
“Well, that’s my cue. I have to go.” Yeonjun brings the phone back to his ear. Maybe the timing isn’t so bad; his hands are starting to freeze.
“Yeah, sure, no problem. Go back to your family.” Yeonjun can hear Soobin’s smile in his voice and can feel his warmth radiating through the phone. He can’t help but smile too.
“Thank you for the talk. It helped.”
“Of course hyung. I’m always here for you.”
“I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later, yeah? I’m not exactly sure when I’m coming home, but I’ll text you, if you’re still awake.” Yeonjun gets up and paces in place to reinvigorate his nearly frozen feet.
“Don’t worry about it. Just go have fun, okay?” Yeonjun nods to himself before hanging up. Soobin’s contact picture disappears as his screen turns black, and Yeonjun catches his own reflection smiling.
He takes a few seconds to himself before walking back inside, where he’s almost instantly whisked away by one of his relatives (he can barely see which one).
He tries to keep up, but they’re all at a clearly higher energy level than he is, and he feels like he’s nearly drowning among them. Still, his social battery is just high enough for him to maintain himself above water (not without the help of alcohol.)
It takes him about half an hour for him to get overstimulated all over again.
It feels so strange, considering he’s used to living with noise and being surrounded by other people, but even this is too much, even for him.
His younger nieces and nephews are chattering amongst themselves, his aunts are laughing loudly in a corner, his uncles are either talking or sitting around the television and watching a game he couldn’t be bothered to care about, and most importantly, all of these things are happening simultaneously. Hearing Beomgyu and Soobin bicker over Huening Kai vacuuming is child’s play compared to this.
On the other hand, though, who could really blame him? He’s even surprised he lasted as long.
Yeonjun wants to go home. He feels bad about it, but his body is just craving a good rest. Even just laying down would suffice: he just needs to be away from the noise and the chaos.
He’s sitting on the couch, drained, a drink in hand. It’s a light drink, not enough to make him drunk, but strong enough to calm his nerves. His baby niece has found refuge at his feet, sitting in between his legs on the floor. He lets her stay there, occasionally leaning down to caress her hair while she plays with her doll.
Yeonjun hears the front door open, but it’s not enough to catch his attention. There are so many people in this house that the idea of one of them either coming in or going outside doesn’t sound crazy at all.
That is, until he actually looks up.
Time feels like it’s stopped for a moment. Standing on the other side of the room, Soobin smiles at him.
Somehow, amongst all of Yeonjun’s family members, he seems even taller than usual.
He’s ditched his usual hoodie and sweatpants combo, instead opting for an all black outfit. Despite it simply being a t-shirt and pants, he manages to almost appear sophisticated. His hair (which is currently this dirty blonde-like colour with a few black streaks, signs of his hair growing over) is parted out of his face for one of the rare times and he’s wearing one of the pink sparkly slippers that Yeonjun’s aunt likes to keep at their front door. Yeonjun’s eyes are glued to him.
As Soobin crosses the living room, no one reacts to his presence. They’re all familiar with him; in fact, they’re pretty much used to seeing him, at this point. It’s not the first time Soobin has met his family: when he was younger, Yeonjun used to bring him around all the time.
(It was during the period where most of his older cousins were starting to seriously date and bring their significant others to every family gathering. Yeonjun got tired of being the third, fifth, or even seventh wheel and decided to bring a date of his own. They weren’t dating, obviously, and he made a point to specify that, but at least he had somebody to talk to when things got too coupley. Eventually, his family got accustomed to Soobin’s presence among them.)
Unsurprisingly, they all love him. A few of them greet him warmly and he returns their greetings, a big smile on his face.
He casually sits next to Yeonjun like he’s been there the whole time. Yeonjun is still struggling to find his words.
“What are you doing here?” He manages to ask after a lingering silence.
“I came for you.” Soobin answers simply, leaning back against the couch.
“Well, yeah but it’s .. I mean, you were probably lying comfortably on your bed and now you’re here .. I hope you didn’t think that me calling you was a secret cry for help.” Yeonjun stutters, his hand finding his way to his hair as he nervously tugs on it.
“Hyung, it’s okay.” Soobin assures him with a smile. “I didn’t think you were secretly asking me. I came because I wanted to. I’m here in case you need a ride home. And if you don’t, well.. I figured you’d enjoy the company.” He leans into Yeonjun, who’s been rendered speechless.
He feels like he’s being transported back to when they were both dumb teenagers and he would cling onto Soobin whenever he’d get overwhelmed. Soobin has this calming aura, to the point where his mere presence is enough to appease any trouble Yeonjun has.
Soobin is not the most talkative in social settings, but he doesn’t have to be: if anything, his more reserved personality is what makes him so easy to bring everywhere.
It was true then and it’s still true now; Yeonjun’s anxiety levels have severely decreased in record time.
Yeonjun knows that his friends would die for him, and yet every time he gets reminded, his heart gets lighter.
“You didn’t have to do this.” Yeonjun slightly protests but he’s leaning against Soobin too.
“I know.”
Yeonjun expects him to say more, but he doesn’t. In reality, maybe he doesn’t have to; these two words speak volumes on their own. Yeonjun feels that light feeling in his chest again.
“Thank you. You’re too sweet.” When Yeonjun glances over and their gazes meet, Soobin is already smiling at him.
“I have no plans so we can leave whenever you’re ready.” Soobin talks a little quieter and Yeonjun nods. He figures they can stay a little longer.
The late hour is becoming more and more apparent. A lot of the younger kids, who are way past their bedtime, are slowly leaving to go sleep in the guests rooms. Yeonjun’s niece, who had comfortably settled near him, has fallen asleep by now, her head resting against his leg. Her mom comes to pick her up, and she and Yeonjun exchange an endeared look before she walks away.
Soobin is lightly conversing with two of Yeonjun’s cousins, who seem to be quite fond of him. Yeonjun is absentmindedly listening, but his mind is elsewhere. His eyes start to feel droopy; interestingly enough, the warmth of Soobin’s body against his is both what’s keeping him awake and what’s making him sleepier. At one point, he tugs on Soobin’s sleeve and instantly gets his full attention.
“I think this is as much as my brain can take.” Yeonjun whispers to him, leaning his face closer. Soobin nods and gets up from his seat.
“You’re already leaving?” Yeonjun’s cousin asks (the same one that called him back inside). Yeonjun almost laughs; it’s nearly 1AM and he’s been there for hours.
“Yes, unfortunately,” Soobin responds for him. “We’d love to stay, but he and I have school related stuff to do tomorrow, so we don’t want to sleep too late.”
This is a lie. Neither of them have any plans for tomorrow. It’s an alibi, one that everyone instantly believes. In fact, it’s so believable that even Yeonjun almost falls for it himself. Soobin is honest to a fault, yet he easily lied just to help Yeonjun leave.
“Ah, yeah, college, am I right?” She laughs, and so does Soobin, while Yeonjun forces a smile and subtly tugs at Soobin’s shirt.
Thankfully, the conversation doesn’t last long. After a lengthy goodbye (in which Yeonjun went to every single one of his relatives that was still awake), they both exit the house.
Yeonjun is reacquainted with the cool chilly breeze from earlier. He stands by the door, briefly glancing inside at the few relatives he can see from the window, and smiles. His smile only grows when he feels a hand ruffling his hair.
“They adore you, by the way.” Yeonjun remarks, his voice soft.
All of his other roommates had also met his family; at the beginning, Yeonjun would alternate which one he’d bring. It was only later on that he started consistently bringing Soobin.
Soobin doesn’t respond, but the smile on his face is unmistakable. They get to the car, and relief washes over Yeonjun when he sits in the passenger seat. Peace, quiet, serenity. Exactly what his poor overwhelmed brain needed.
He’s never been more grateful for Soobin’s intuition. He wasn’t lying when he said the phone call wasn’t a secret cry for help; however, he would be lying if he didn’t interiorly cheer when Soobin showed up. Soobin always knew what Yeonjun needed; that’s why he’s his best friend.
He turns his head and stares at Soobin, because that’s all he can think to do. It’s the middle of the night, so it’s dark, but even without the light, Yeonjun can perfectly picture where each of his features are. His face is just that memorable.
“Thank you again, by the way. For um… for coming all this way, even if you were probably perfectly comfortable, just for me. It um .. means a lot.” Yeonjun feels flustered all of a sudden, and he doesn’t know why. They’re stopped at a red light, so Soobin turns to him and the red lighting hits him in all the right angles.
“You’re welcome. It really was no problem.”
“Are you sure? ‘Cuz like .. I don’t wanna be a bother or anything. Really, I would’ve been fine.” Yeonjun insists in a ramble.
“Yeonjunie,” Soobin calls out to him, his tone serious. “You could’ve called me at 4AM in a crowded party, drunk out of your mind, begging for a ride and I would’ve done it. It’s never gonna be a bother to me. I’ve got you.”
Oh.
Yeonjun’s mouth instantly closes. He feels like he got the wind knocked out of him as Soobin smiles sweetly at him before continuing their road. His words dance in his head, playing over and over like a broken record.
He shouldn’t be shocked. Of course this is something Soobin would do. It’s probably not even exclusive to him, he’d likely do the same for the others too, and yet Yeonjun feels so violently struck by his statement. It’s such a profound declaration of genuine affection that it overwhelms him. I’ve got you. Three simple words that seem to be holding so much.
When they’re stopped at the next red light, Soobin turns to him again. Yeonjun, briefly staring back at him, doesn’t even think and leans forward to kiss him. The moment is brief, because he pulls back in a panic.
Shit.
He doesn’t even know where that came from. Does he even like him like that? Surely not, right? His entire body feels disgustingly warm, but he presumes that’s just the embarrassment. He was probably just overwhelmed by emotions, but that's a wildly exaggerated way of reacting to that.
Soobin’s eyes widen and his face likely flushes but he doesn’t say anything. It’s not like he has a chance to react properly either because the light turns green and he has to continue driving. Yeonjun slouches in the passenger seat, completely mortified.
Admittedly, it’s not the first time he’s kissed one of his roommates. In fact, he’s somehow managed to be passed around among them, despite not doing anything to warrant that (at least, he doesn’t think). So far, he hasn’t minded; they’re all pretty guys who kiss well and he’s not against getting easy kisses from the people closest to him.
Here’s the thing, though: Soobin is the only one he’s never kissed.
Somehow, despite being the closest out of everyone, they’ve never kissed, at least not since they’ve moved in together. Why his brain chose this specific moment is beyond him, but he wishes he could take it back.
They don’t stop at any other red light until they get home. Yeonjun’s anxiety just grows in his chest, materializing in a lump in the pit of his stomach. Once the car finally parks, he takes a deep breath, anticipating the worst.
Soobin’s silence is deafening. Yeonjun eventually glances over to try and gauge his reaction, and spots a shy smile on his face. Yeonjun smiles sheepishly and goes to apologize when he’s instantly cut off by Soobin kissing him.
This time, Yeonjun’s entire body freezes. His brain entirely forgets how to process anything and he almost forgets how to breathe. However, after a few seconds, he realizes that he likes it and he starts kissing back right before Soobin pulls away.
It doesn’t linger for much longer. That doesn’t stop Yeonjun from feeling completely fluttery after. Soobin smiles, and Yeonjun expects him to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stares, his dimples on full display, before getting out of the car.
Yeonjun doesn’t even think to move. He stays glued to his seat for a few more seconds before getting out. Soobin is waiting for him at the front door. Once Yeonjun joins him, Soobin reaches out and ruffles his hair again (but much more affectionately this time). Yeonjun’s heart tightens in his chest.
“You really like my long hair, don’t you?” Yeonjun jokes to break the tension. Soobin laughs quietly, not moving his hand away.
“Yeah,” Soobin admits, his voice breathy. “I really do. I hope you keep it that way.” And just for that, maybe Yeonjun will.
Soobin is looking at him like he wants more, like he deeply craves something. However, he chooses not to act on it and walks inside. Yeonjun follows him, ignoring his loud heartbeat in his ears.
The apartment is dead silent. Yeonjun’s eyes slowly adjust to the darkness as he takes his coat and boots off. He watches as Soobin carefully tries to quietly put their coats away in the closet.
“I’m gonna shower now, I think I need it.” Yeonjun whispers to him, walking closer.
“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll do you some good.” Soobin smiles tiredly.
“Oh yeah, for sure,” Yeonjun laughs quietly. He steps a little closer before hugging him.
“Goodnight. And thank you for everything.”
“Goodnight, Yeonjunie.” Soobin mumbles in his shoulder, squeezing him back.
When they both pull away, their gazes meet again and Yeonjun’s entire body feels as though it’s been caught on fire. In a moment of weakness, Soobin kisses him again, a kiss so gentle it’s barely perceptible. He then smiles and walks back to his own room without another word. It takes Yeonjun a few seconds to get himself moving again.
He makes his way to the bathroom and finally takes his shower. It ends up lasting longer than expected because his mind is racing at the speed of light.
When he gets into his bed, under his warm comforting covers, he stares at the ceiling. The faces of his friends appear one by one in his head. The determined way Taehyun grabbed his collar, Hyuka’s sweetness as he sat on his lap, Beomgyu’s roughness, and finally, the gentle way Soobin kissed him, especially the second time. His mind lingers on Soobin a little longer, remembering the way he stood by the living room, arriving like a hero, and the way the red light hit his face perfectly in the car.
Without being able to stop himself, Yeonjun finds himself smiling at no one but himself.