Chapter Text
Amoris. A latin word. Often translated to Love. Doloris. Also a latin word. Often translated to Pain. Individually, they aren’t very common words. Such different extremes on a spectrum. To Love is to adore someone, to treasure them and make them feel safe. Pain on the other hand, always comes from hurt. Hurt from something unpleasant or traumatic. But what if the two were put together? Amoris Doloris. To love pain. To love hurting someone.
To love pain..
Amoris Doloris…
It all started earlier today. Your friend had called you to talk with you, but in the end no talking was done. She was a lost child in her own mind, spiraling downwards into oblivion. It was clear to you that she could not let go of the past yet. As much as you loved her, you could not bear to see her like this. As much as it hurt you, you told her to clear her mind. You had to push her away for her own sake. Away from you.
In a twist of irony, you had spent so many years trying to chase her again, only for her to still be obsessed with someone from the past. No matter how much you longed to be by her side again, she was looking for someone else. Is this fair? You spent days, months, years maybe even chasing her shadow again, fueled by the thought of being by her side again, meanwhile that girl caused all the pain, yet she got all of her attention. That girl. Takamatsu Tomori.
At first you thought nothing much of her. Just a fellow vocalist, who was talented at writing lyrics. But as you saw your friend spiral more and more, your distaste for her only grew. Had she simply disappeared into the earth. Had she simply never founded a band that rivaled yours. Had she simply never existed. Sakiko would be all yours.
Everything you did was for Sakiko. No matter how much it hurt, you would do anything for her, even letting her chase Tomori. If to love someone is to let them go, then why did it still hurt so much? You did it for Sakiko, yet you couldn’t let her be free. To imagine her in the arms of someone besides you hurt you. It angered you. There was no other way to explain it. The thought of Sakiko being with someone else, it simply angered you. But you understood, you could never show this anger to her. Sakiko asked you to put your life in her hands. She had led Ave Mujica to the greatest music stage in Japan in a matter of weeks. It was your duty to act perfect for her. To repay her favor, to honor the person you loved, you have to act like a puppet. A puppet where Sakiko was the puppeteer. And good puppets, don’t anger their puppeteers.
A faint knock on the door echoed through the room.
“Excuse me, is this where Ave Mujica is practicing?”
In unison, everyone in the room put on a mask. Even in rehearsals, you have to hide your identity. Otherwise the magic of Ave Mujica would dissipate.
“Yes, that would be us.” You said as you opened the door.
The knock on the turned out to be a staff member of RiNG.
”Sorry to bother you during practice…” The voice of the staff members slightly shivered at the sight of 4 ominously masked people. “We need you to fill in this forum for tomorrows live…” She said as she turned her tablet towards you. “Could the band leader please fill in this forum?”
“Our leader isn’t here today.” Mortis softly wispered.
“Oh then, any representative is okay.”
A short silence fell upon the room.
“How about you fill it in Doloris? The other bands are represented by their Vocalists anyways.” Timoris said to cut the silence.
You took a second before answering. “Would that be okay?” You asked the staff member.
“Thats fine. Please enter the name of your band, the track list you will play tomorrow, and the band members.”
Band name? Ave Mujica. Track list? Band members? Oblivionis, Timoris, Mortis, Doloris and…
Amoris.
The names Sakiko chose for you were already weird as is, but if you look up what those names mean they stand out so much more.
Oblivion. Fear. Death. Pain. Love.
Were these names an emotion Sakiko associated with them? If so why did Nyamu receive the name Love? Sakiko was chasing Tomori not Nyamu. She loved Tomori not Nyamu…
You stopped yourself before you spiraled deeper. The names were probably determined far before the founding of Ave Mujica.
You took a glance at Amoris.
Nyamu was a influencer who joined Ave Mujica for views. She was unapologetic about it, and you didn’t hate her for it. As long as she could perform well as Ave Mujica’s drummer, there was no reason to complain.
While you all wore masks to hide your identities, there were certain personalized aspects that helped you stand out individually, and help you be more memorable to the audience. From the clothes you’d wear on stage, the instruments, but of course the most notable one was your hair. Everyone in Ave Mujica had a different hair color and hair style.
Oblivionis has light blue hair, Mortis has matcha green hair, Timoris has black hair, Doloris has yellow hair, and Amoris has purple hair.
Is it purple? As you looked at Amoris, the color of her hair became harder and harder to explain. It certainly looked purple, but it was also very close to coming off as grey.
…
And the way she had her hair cut certainly didn’t help. It was too short for the colour to fade along the end. Usually when a long haired person colors their hair, its common for the end of the hair to lose color before other parts, however a short haired person doesn’t have this problem.
…
Short gray hair.
You could feel your blood starting to heat up. Ever so slightly you saw an image of Tomori in front of you. As Amoris talked with the other members, you could see her eye color changing to yellow, or her hair turning gray. Every passing second you could see the image of Tomori clearer and clearer in Amoris. Every passing second you could feel yourself losing your temper more and more. The person who took the love of your life away from you was standing right in front of you.
“Amoris, could you come with me for a second?”
“Sure.”
Even her voice began to sound more and more like like Tomori.
Your mind grew more and more clouded as she walked next to you. You couldn’t contain the anger anymore. As you walked into the bathroom your mind finally grew blank.
All you could remember after that were cries of pain.