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A suffice of chatter rang through the banquet room, filled with laughter, cries (Yes, there were babies and children at this party), snickers, mannerisms, and much more that cannot be pointed out.
Each set of table consisted of random dukes and duchesses sharing their gist through mouth. Almost all conversations were balanced with serious and casual topics, with the casual ones weighing more than the others pushed aside.
Some middle class peasants stayed around as well, keeping up with the news by discussing matters to others.
Really didn’t look that serious, considering that their mouths were that of a sailor’s.
Lily watched the others ravish in the luxury of the banquet, smiling to herself as she silently acknowledged her efforts in co-planning everything with the king, while another person sat quietly to themselves, watching Lily shine in triumph.
Now it’s no wonder that the duckum always sat alone with Lily beside them. Their mental health issues were filled to the brim ever since the day they told the princess, their well known friend, they didn’t know their gender. Lily had taken the message with empathy, promising to be there for them if their times went darker than dark.
However, something was boiling inside of them. Being around a lot of people sucks for them, but seeing their friend perking up to find…a couple of people she knew, they went silent, observing, perhaps staring, at the princess.
Lily smiled at the sight of a group of flower fairies she was trying to get to know.
But her mind immediately thought of her best friend.
What if something happened, or what if they think she’s doing something wrong? Surely, a moment such as an (HEATED) argument could be possible just by initiating a conversation with the group.
Hm…!
An idea popped in her head.
An idea so logical that after acting on it, nothing could go wrong!
Well…let’s hope nothing doesn’t go wrong.
She gently poked the duckum’s shoulder, her voice clear and calm as possible.
“Dahil, I’m gonna go see some people for a while. Think you’ll be ok?”
Dahil’s eyes were stale yet still filled with emotional as they mouthed a “yeah”, then looking away to mind their own business.
Alone.
Concerned but joyful, Lily waved goodbye and walked properly to the group.
…
A few minutes have passed. No, it must’ve felt like hours seeing Lily talk with them during the banquet.
Dahil was trying to conceal their true feelings inside of them for as a long as possible. Fidgeting with their hands and their long hair felt like an eternity.
STARING into the distance felt like something was wrong.
Everything felt so wrong.
WHY was she talking with them instead of THEM…?!
Can’t she see what’s SHE’S DOING?!
SHE’S FUCKING IGNORING THEM LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING AT ALL-
RING! RING! RING!
A butler rang the loud bell, and suddenly, the crowd fell silent.
“Princess Lily, you are needed to talk with the king.”
The king? At this time?
Like…right now?!
Oh god, it’s happening again. The loop is repeating itself as it always will AND CAN AT ITS OWN WLLL—
…Ok. Calm down and stay perfect like they always tell you.
“I will get to it.” Lily smiled slightly as she waved to the others and lifted her dress to skim out the doors and through the hallways.
And Dahil?
Oh, their anger levels were only getting bigger from there once they stood up and followed Lily.
They didn’t care if they got stares or whispers from the others.
They and Lily NEED TO GET THIS DONE WITH.
AND BY THAT, THEY MEAN NOW.
[LOADING HALLWAYS…]
The princess kept walking, but…she could sense that something didn’t feel right.
The hallways were cold, yeah. And sure, the dark-colored arches and multi-colored windows creating art created an unpleasant aura sometimes.
But it wasn’t like that.
This time, she could sense someone.
And for some reason, her anxiety went up.
How come, is her question inside her mind. It’s her friend anyway. There were always the best of friends, for 3 years straight. Nothing could go wrong with them. Heck, she didn't even see anything wrong with Dahil. AT ALL.
They were always chill and seemed to care, yet a little too casual when it came to problems.
That’s just how they acted. Nonetheless, she would always be there for someone, no matter the cost or situation.
So why was she scared?
The footsteps became louder.
And that’s when it spoke.
“WE NEED TO TALK.”
Lily whipped her head around to unexpectedly find Dahil roaming around, and…FOLLOWING her?
“Dahil, w-why are you following me?” Her voice slightly became anxious from the way the duckum spoke.
“Because WHAT YOU DID HAS UPSET ME.”
Lily flinched. Thank the lord she was still good at hiding it.
She cleared her throat and hid her hands behind her back, her back straight like a pin.
“Please elaborate on what you are saying.”
“ELABORATE?! DO I really need to elaborate on it?! You left me in the dust just to be with other people!”
Hold on a second.
That sounds confusing. A princess wouldn’t do things like that.
“But I thought you were fine with it. I told you I was gonna be with other people for a while, and…I just thought you were ok with it,” she replied, turning away appropriately, but still looking at Dahil.
“Now if you excuse me, I must go to the king.”
She kept on walking forward to her destination.
But it looks like the black dahlia fairy wasn’t done yet.
“You know, you’re not that SPECIAL.”
CRACK.
A piece of her facade broke.
“You can’t just expect other people to drop their things AND ACCOMMODATE YOU.”
Another crack.
Blowing off a little steam, but keep it together…
“AND you know I have BPD, I can’t just be LEFT ALONE!”
CRACK.
Every fragment broke into tiny pieces, eventually breaking into bigger ones. She couldn’t keep it together anymore.
SHE COULDN’T.
CRACKCRACKCRACK—
“WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, LILY?!”
BOOM!
Lily turned her head around quickly, her face showing the obvious rage, almost representing her father’s in a way.
“I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! THERE, YOU HAVE YOUR FUCKING ANSWER! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!”
The glass finally broke into a million pieces.
Dahil flinched, and a few seconds later, they scoffed. Then they laughed ironically as a tear streamed down their face.
“You really think you can hurt me and NOT get away with it? Huh. You really thought you could steal everything about me, but then…YOU LEAVE ME…MAKING ME FEEL SO USED?!” The laugh switched to a cry.
The princess’s rage only went up after their words.
“If you want comfort, go to your other friends. They know what they’re doing anyway.”
Her fingers started gripping onto her sleeve hard.
“Used. USED…?? YOU USED ME. AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THE BURDEN I HAVE TO CARRY.”
Her head looked up at Dahil, with tears brimming and the pissed expression as identical as the dragon she looked up to as her parent.
“AND…you know WHAT? I WASN’T EVEN THAT SPECIAL ANYWAY. You wouldn’t say that to my DAMN face if you knew the IMMENSE pain I am IN RIGHT…NOW.”
Her gaze was quite intense.
“I had to go through FUCKING forced separation, an identity I don’t even connect with, and tons…TONS OF TOIL you don’t have access to. How does it feel to blame it on someone who hasn’t told you these things? Huh?”
Dahil stayed silent.
“HOW DOES IT FEEL?! COME ON, ADMIT IT!”
“I-I…”
Looks like the excuses they had in mind weren’t for the position they were in with their “bestie”.
“Just. Please get out. I am not in the mood for heated arguments.”
Lily turned around and rushed to her destination.
Meanwhile, Dahil was now left alone in the hallways, losing control of themselves inside yet again as they always did…whenever things didn’t go their way.
Was this the bitter reality of losing someone…?
[LOADING LILY’S ROOM…]
The door slammed shut.
She got comfy on the bed and looked out the window, quietly sobbing in realization that she was just used to then be degraded with the word choices of theirs.
It’s not fair. It really wasn’t.
God forbid being the one who always “hurts” the victim, albeit they were not in the first place and it was them all along in response to avoiding persecution.
The most prominent question that wrapped around her mind was how could she be so, SO retarded and trust them for 3 YEARS STRAIGHT.
And…how the hell Dahil came up with saying that she’s not special.
Many questions with unchecked answers tightened harder, and with it, her chest began to ache. Her entire body shook.
The saying echoed in her mind again.
YOUKNOWYOU’RENOTTHATSPECIAL.
NOTTHATSPECIAL.
YOUKNOWIHAVEBPDYOUCAN’TJUSTEXPECTPEOPLETODOTHINGSFORYOU-
OHMYFUCKINGGODSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPNOW!!!!!!
Random voices, both hers and the black dahlia fairy’s, in her head only fed the headache planted inside her head.
And yet…no one is there to comfort her.
Not her father.
Not Dahil.
Not the group of mutuals.
Not even the king or butler, or anyone in the castle.
She’s alone, as fate determines from now on.
…
Chirp….
Chirp!
A call rang from the distance.
The unfortunate girl’s ears perked up faintly.
It was familiar.
TOO familiar.
A blue blur could only be seen. Second after, the blue divided into tan and white markings, and the shape that was circular turned round and chubby.
Oh my god.
It’s Creek.
“Creek…!” Lily wiped her tears away, sniffling yet smiling slightly in disbelief.
“Buddy, what brings you here at this hour? Oh my god…”
Her finger scratched the chin of the little bird, allowing him to coo in satisfaction.
Creek then shoved Lily’s finger gently and started chirping in a way that sounded like how people speak to others. Like English.
However, here’s the problem. The princess could not just UNDERSTAND animals like this.
Yeah, she could talk to animals and has always done so since she was a youngster, but OF COURSE, laws of science don’t say anything regarding the ability to understand animal dialect.
After a moment of silence, the bird decided to comically imitate an action.
He stomped his feet, acting somewhat angry, then crossed his wings. Then he walked in place and pointed to a fountain sitting outside, a couple of inches behind the big entrance to the castle.
“Huh…sounds like someone.” Lily scratched her chin.
Wait.
Those moves look like Dahil would do it.
“Creek, is this about Dahil?”
The bluebird replied with another chirp.
Lily looked out the window and saw Dahil stomping near the fountain, crossing their arms and having quite the meltdown.
“Oh dear…” Her voice turned into a whisper, and she covered her mouth in shock.
Poor little thing didn’t know that this has had a big impact on them.
The thoughts of doubting one’s self rose in her head yet again. Maybe after all, she has done something wrong.
Spacing out felt more common, and it even didn’t feel that abnormal, although she was talking to a bird.
Creek noticed the princess’s grasp on reality slip away, and so he softly pecked her wrist to get her back on track.
“Hm! Oh shoot, I spaced out AGAIN…”
She grumbled and laid down, turning away from the window, and holding the blanket close to her chest as a source of comfort.
The small bluebird tried to squeeze in, but in turn, he couldn’t. The gap was a little too tight for his body.
The princess chuckled sadly, then sat up and put Creek near the window again.
“Unfortunately, you must go now. Floralians aren’t exactly good with animals entering these grounds.”
He sadly chirped in response.
“Hey, hey…you can always come back soon if you want. Here, I’ll bring you a couple of breadcrumbs and some goodies in a basket to bring back to the woods for you and Papa. Sounds good, right?”
No response from Creek.
Lily gently patted the top of his head and laid down again, cracking a melancholic smile and waving at the bird as he flew away.
Somewhat, the visit made things better, even though it was a mere bird that can’t really speak the words he wants to say.
Sigh.
But goddamn.
Things really did go wrong…
Did they?