Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The End
“I think we should take a break.”
“Yes.”
And just like that, I was in pieces: eyes burned and sight blurred; air that didn’t want to get in my lungs. I gasped for air, thinking it was over. That my life was over. That I couldn't have love anymore. Because the best that I could do didn’t want me anymore.The pain in my chest was so intense that I couldn’t even feel it, so much it annulled itself. And so I pulled on my hair, grabbed my head and hurt myself trying to feel something that would bring me back to reality, something that would keep me afloat from the agonizing pain that I was feeling. Vomit rose in my throat. The heartbreak was a physical pain. I didn’t believe it before. How can a feeling be also physical? I was wrong. I was on the floor, my legs no longer mine to use. I was a doll.
That’s what happens when you give everything to another person. When he leaves, he takes everything you are with him, leaving you with nothing. I was left with nothing. I was nothing. I gave it all to him and now I was left empty.
Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Again. In. Out. That’s it. You are doing it. You are still alive. You thought that he was your life. But he is gone and you are still alive.
The first person that I called was my mother. I thought that I would start a life with him so why don’t call the person that gave me life in the first place?
“Hey love, everything good?”
“Mom, he left me. He left me. We broke up. Mom help me, I cannot do this. Mom!” I kept on calling her name with the hope that her body would appear before me, surpassing all the miles that set us apart in a second. I wanted to feel her warmth around my cold body left on the floor by his words. However, only her voice reached me so I closed my eyes to see her at least in my head.
“Poppy, it’s going to be fine, you were not meant to be together. Please don’t cry.” Her words danced around the ghosts of me and him, of everything that we had done. It was all in front of me. The terrace filled with images of us in the few good moments that we had. Laughs, words and cries of joy lapped on one another from silly moments in which I thought we would be together till the day I die. I was so stupid, so naive, so human.
“Mom, you don’t understand. He was the best I could achieve. He was the best that I deserved.” Her words bumped against an impenetrable wall that I made in seconds. A wall made of lies. A wall made of paper destined to fall.
“Utter nonsense! He didn’t deserve you! How could you say that?! Can’t you see what an amazing and kind and beautiful person you are?!” The truth was in her words. We were not meant to be together, simply because we were not together anymore. He was not good for me and I for him; I was in pieces but I knew that much. Regardless, it was one of those truths that still couldn't alleviate the pain.
“No. No. No!” The voice in my head pierced my ears, screaming that everything was lost.
“You deserve to be happy and with him, you cried every day. How could he have been your best if you felt at your lowest with him?”