Chapter Text
“Earth to Nicholas??”
Nick snapped out of his daze, having once again let his nerves and insecurities cloud his brain.
“What?”
“You’re going to have to humor me here,” Tara said. “I don’t have a lot of female-identifying friends who are attracted to men and single, so just please please let me introduce you to her. I hate seeing you look like a sad, single golden retriever.”
Nick frowned. “I’m not a sad golden retriever,” he bit back.
“No defense on the single, though,” Darcy chimed in.
He rolled his eyes. “Okay fine. As long as it’s in a group. I don’t want to make her sad or uncomfortable if I don’t end up clicking with her like that, so if we’re in a large group, we can still manage to get through the night.”
“Fair enough,” Tara responded. “She’s actually Elle's flatmate, so technically, friend of a friend, but I’ve met her a couple times and she’s really sweet. I’ll text the gang and we can all meet somewhere in Soho tonight.”
Nick was in London visiting his secondary school friends Tara and Darcy, who were a couple, for the weekend from Leeds. Tara was in her first year at UCL and Darcy was taking a gap year and working full time as a barista in London, but Tara lived in the uni accommodations while Darcy rented out a room. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but Darcy insisted that Tara didn’t miss out on her uni experience. Luckily, Darcy had found a group from King’s College that was looking for a fourth flatmate. For now, the three of them were hanging out in Tara's room while her flatmate was conveniently out of town for the weekend.
“They said that should be good! Elle texted to ask if she could bring her friends and her boyfriend that are visiting for the weekend too. ”
“The more the merrier,” Nick replied. It was true, he was relieved that there’d be more people to remedy the inevitable awkwardness that would transpire tonight.
Nick had actually met Tara's friend Elle before-- whom she met at a Queer Society meeting-- because she, too, had grown up in Kent like the three of them. In fact, she had been his year in primary at Truham, and they both ended up leaving after year 8. They had never talked much, but he had seen her around.
“Perfect. Since it’s short notice, they said they’d meet us there. YAY this should be fun!!! It’s about time you came out with us!” Tara exclaimed.
While Tara was cheering, Darcy walked over to Nick, who was sitting on the kitchen counter. They grabbed the front of his t-shirt, a standard grey Nike workout shirt, and said, “We need to find you something to wear.”
“What’s wrong with this?” Nick replied, clearly confused.
Gasping dramatically, Darcy said, “You’re going to sit here in front of two lesbians, who take fashion very seriously, and think there’s nothing wrong with your current outfit? Who raised you????”
Laughing, Tara replied, “Sorry hun, but Darcy’s right. First impressions matter.”
“And you guys never cared to tell me that there was a problem with the way I dressed until now?” Nick whined.
“Well it’s not necessarily a problem. It’s just athleisure. But if we’re going out properly in London, you do have to look the part I’m afraid,” Tara replied, matter-of-factly.
“Time for operation ‘how to make a straight boy look cunty 101,’” Darcy declared.
Nick laughed emptily at that. The joke was funny, but it never sat right with him any time Tara or Darcy, or anyone for that matter, reminded him that he was straight. He assumed the discomfort came from how much other straight men seemed to suck. He didn’t want to be one of them.
*****
Several hours later, after rummaging through Nick’s overnight duffel and arguing about what would look good, the three of them settled on an outfit. A simple, tight-fitting white t shirt, that Nick usually only wore under his hoodies, and the one pair of dark-wash jeans he brought. Darcy lent Nick a chunky silver ring, which surprisingly fit on his pinky, and Tara roughed up his strawberry blonde hair a bit.
“Wow, you look fit,” Tara said.
Darcy replied, fake aghast, “Do I need to be worried about the man that made you realize you were a lesbian?”
Nick, clearly blushing, said jokingly, “Don’t worry Darce, Tara’s way out of my league.”
“She's out of both our leagues, for sure,” Darcy said, looking at her girlfriend admiringly.
“Thank you both, but don’t worry Nick, Kate is gonna love you,” Tara declared with a smile.
Kate. That was the name of Tara’s friend Elle’s roommate. He still had no idea what she looked like, making it a blind meeting, but maybe that was for the better. He didn’t want to be more nervous than he already was.
“We need to get some alcohol in you, my dear boy,” Darcy said, clearly taking notice of Nick’s nerves. “Confident Nick is not a shade I’ve seen on you yet, but I’m eager to meet him.”
Truthfully, every time Nick drank, usually with the rugby lads, he either only drank enough to be slightly buzzed, or he blacked out due to some nonsensical drinking game that transpired. He never was able to find the sweet spot of feeling comfortable and secure, and desperately hoped that he might find that tonight.
Because Tara lived in an accommodation, she didn’t have a kitchen but only a mini fridge, where she nursed a bottle of vodka, some limes, and cranberry juice.
“Quite the selection you have, Jonesy,” Darcy quipped.
“Well, usually I go to Elle’s place to pre, or we go to queer soc parties, or I buy drinks when we go out. Plus don’t you live in an apartment with three uni students?? Why didn’t you bring your stuff? Wh–”
Before she could continue, Darcy placed a hand over their girlfriend's face. “Hush, my lovely. Less talking, more drinking.”
Nick laughed, amused by how they quarreled like an old married couple. It was quite endearing, and he truthfully loved how they seemed to adopt him like their child every time they hung out.
Several shots and a few vodka crans later, the three of them set off. They were only tipsy so decided to take the train to Soho, where they agreed to meet with the rest of the group at one of the new bars there.
Given that it was a Saturday night, the atmosphere was electric. There were so many different kinds of people, everyone so unique that it was basically impossible not to fit in. Nick had only gone to London a few times, two of which were with his mum growing up. He’d never experienced it, specifically the nightlife, as a full adult, and he was already buzzing with anticipation. He felt freer, somehow, like he could be anyone he wanted to be. It was a strange feeling, but it made him feel safe.
Looking down at her phone, Tara lit up. “Oh wow, Elle and her friends are already inside! Let’s head in,” she said, excitedly.
Nick felt himself tense up once more, and at that, Tara and Darcy linked their arms around his. It was extremely crowded, and people were filing in and out, eager to not stay in one place for too long.
“Tara!!!” a tall girl with braids running down her back exclaimed. Her skin was bronze and glowy, and she wore thin-rimmed square glasses and a purple sequined top shaped like a butterfly. She wore black flowy pants and platform boots, making her even taller than she already was. She looked effervescent.
“Elle!” Tara exclaimed back. “You look stunning!” Then, she gestured to Nick and Darcy. “Also, you know Darcy, of course, but ya, here's my best friend Nick!”
Nick’s heart grew several sizes after Tara called him that.
Elle excitedly embraced Nick. “Hey Nick! Of course I know you, It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, that's crazy. Wow, you’ve grown up so much, obviously.” Her smile was infectious.
“So great to see you too, Elle. I wasn’t sure if you’d remember me. You look great!” He replied, excitedly.
“Thanks Nick. Anyway, this is Katie, my flatmate, and my friends from home have just gone to get drinks. They should be back in a bit.”
He turned to a shorter girl with green eyes, curly brown hair, and freckles splattered on her cheeks, who looked up sweetly at him with a shy smile. “Hi Nick, nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She was very pretty, Nick had to admit to himself. Without seeming too obvious, he looked her up and down, and she was sporting a red cropped, turtleneck knit top with a brown skirt and combat boots. Everything about her seemed so put together, so Nick decided there was no harm in seeing where the night took them. “Hi Katie, you as well.” Well, it was now or never. “Can I buy you a drink?”
She beamed at that, and seemed to relax a little bit. “Lead the way,” she replied.
Feeling emboldened by a successful first impression, he offered his hand, then looked back at Tara and Darcy, who seemed shocked by his brazenness. Maybe this was the level of comfortable and confident that he was aiming towards.
Hand in hand, they walked towards the bar, and, due to the rush, there was a bit of a line. Maybe this is a good thing, Nick thought. A chance to get to know someone new.
“So…” Katie started. “I know you and Tara have known each other since secondary, and it’s really sweet that you’ve stayed so close. How’d you guys meet?”
Nick laughed to himself. Both he and Tara loved telling the story of their friendship because it always got funny reactions from whomever they told. “Funny story, actually. In year 7, I had a crush on her, and then we kissed at a school dance, and she ran off. I never figured out why, until I reconnected with her at a party in year 11. Turns out our kiss was one of the reasons she discovered she was a lesbian. And, yeah, we’ve basically been friends ever since.”
Laughing, she replied, “Oh my god, that’s hilarious.” She looked back at Tara and Darcy. “It’s really sweet they’ve been together that long, huh?”
Nick looked back at his friends with fondness, coupled by a bit of an ache that he couldn't quite name. “Yeah, they fit quite well together.”
They chatted a bit more about where they grew up and what uni was like. Nick mentioned that he left Truham after year 8 and transferred to St. John’s Sports Academy so he could focus more on rugby, and he chose Leeds not only due to the team but also because of how accepting it was, much different than the lads he grew up around. Kate talked about why she chose UCL and meeting Elle on an online platform where they matched flatmates and how they bonded over their love for art.
“That’s so funny that you went to Truham, though, so did Elle. Small world, huh?”
“I did know that, actually. She seems so much happier, now, obviously. I didn’t know her at all, but it must’ve been so hard dealing with everything in that environment.”
“Yeah,” Katie replied. “She’s the strongest person I know.”
Right as the conversation traversed into more serious territory, they made it to the front of the line. And when he was about to order, he saw a group of three boys laughing in his periphery at the far edge of the bar. Then, Nick turned his head to the right, only to be distracted by one of them in particular. He took notice of a boy with dark curly hair and disarmingly blue eyes, and suddenly he forgot what he was there to do.
That had never really happened before.
“Sir,” the bartender said curtly, snapping him out of his daze. “Would you like to order?”
“Yeah, sorry. Katie, what would you like to drink?”
Clearly confused by what just happened, Katie looked behind her but didn’t seem to notice anything. “I’ll have a vodka soda.”
“And just a beer for me please, thanks.”
Katie looked at him, wiggling her eyebrows. “A beer drinking rugby-lad, are we? Do I even wanna know what I’ve gotten into?” She asked, suggestively.
“Those are really the only two laddish things about me, I’ll tell you that.”
She replied, “From what I’ve heard, you’re just a rugby lad with a heart of gold. Which I guess makes sense, considering your two best friends are lesbians.”
Relieved that they were back on track, he laughed out loud at that. It was true, but he had a hard time grappling with that when he was younger, scared of what his teammates might say to them. While he was too nervous to bring Tara and Darcy to the rugby parties in secondary, he was more than happy to bring them to the ones at Leeds. A couple of his teammates were queer, and it was an accepting environment that didn’t seem to exist where they grew up.
As they walked back with their drinks, Elle waved them down to where they were all mingling at a standing table. The room was dimly lit, but Nick noticed three taller figures that weren’t there before, that were turned away from him. As he got closer, he realized–
“Nick! These are my friends from home, they also went to Truham, a year below us. This is Charlie and Isaac, and my boyfriend Tao.”
Charlie. The blue-eyed boy from the bar.