Chapter Text
A sharp sting of electricity at the base of her neck - like being stuck by a small lightning bolt. It sent tremors down her spine, made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She sensed that something was off.
Yet everything was normal.
The people were normal. The place was normal. The time was normal. Oh, that must be it. She was running out of time.
“Eli-chan? You okay?”
She snapped out of her reprieve with a shake of her head.
“Oh, sorry Honoka, what were you saying?”
“Haha, what was I saying?” Honoka laughed. “What was I even saying Eli-chan~?” She slurred.
Eli chuckled. “God, Honoka. It’s your own party and you’re already this drunk.”
Honoka flashed a dopey smile and said, “It’s the best way to ring in the new year! But I’m not drunk. I’m just…” Honoka trailed off, blinking as if trying to regain her train of thought.
Eli waited patiently.
“Hey, do you think they make bread-flavored booze!?” She asked excitedly.
“Um, well there’s always rice wine.” Eli tried, helpfully.
Honoka gasped. “Eli-chan, you’re a genius!! I gotta go ask Hanayo right now, oh my god, this is my best idea ever! Haha, what if we just poured it onto the bread…” Honoka stumbled off in the direction of Hanayo, mumbling incoherently to herself.
Eli sighed, but smiled into her glass of champagne. Honoka was always full of great ideas, but most of them were doomed to be delusions. Though, once in a blue moon, she stumbled upon gold. Eli thought that bread booze would not be one of those ideas.
There it was again.
The sudden, biting shock raised goosebumps on her arms. This sensation- it made her restless, put her on edge, which is the exact opposite of what she wanted to be, of what she should be.
Rubbing her arms, she scanned the room. Honoka’s apartment was bustling with people. The heater and drinks were driving off any winter chills from outside. A-rise’s new album was playing on repeat. Even the cream orange walls were meant to coax her into a happy, warm and drunk mood. It was Honoka’s annual New Year’s Eve party. And every year Eli had so much fun and could barely remember it the next day, spending January 1st crouching in front of a toilet or in front of the television. Why not this year? What was different this time?
What should be different?
Something was missing, something important. Eli went through her mental checklist for the hundredth time that night, only to draw a blank yet again.
No use worrying about it if you can’t even remember what it is. She reasoned, despite the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, and worked hard to forget it.
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Nico, who was chatting up some red head girl sitting at the counter. She looked totally out of Nico’s league – and tax bracket.
She left the weird feeling behind her. Resigning herself to be Nico’s saving grace, she made her way toward the two. As she drew closer, she saw a warm blush dusting Red’s cheeks, and Eli suspected it wasn’t just from the alcohol.
Sidling up to the two, she threw an arm around Nico’s shoulders. It was the hand holding her glass of champagne, but Eli didn’t realize this until the sparkling liquid splattered across the countertop. Red recoiled from the drink, moving her fancy handbag away from the quickly-spreading champagne. Whoops.
“Eli…” Nico gritted out between her teeth, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Eli giggled, placing the glass down on the table. Then, she slung her arm around Nico’s neck again, this time tighter. “Aw, it was nothing~ Forgive me?” Eli cooed, batting her eyelashes and trying to look into Nico’s eyes.
Nico was practically seething, but it took one glance at Red to know that her once flustered smile was now a grimace plastered onto her face.
Eli grinned coyly in response to Nico’s frown.
“Um,” Red started awkwardly. The two friends whipped their heads in unison to turn to her. She pointed vaguely behind her with her perfectly manicured nails, “You look a little busy here, so I’m just go-”
“No!” Nico cried.
Red startled a little.
“I-I just mean that Eli here was just leaving~. Plus, I’d be lonely if you weren’t here to keep me company.”
Red brushed her hair behind her ear. “Oh- Okay.” She said, adverting his eyes.
Nico flashed Red a grateful smile before turning to Eli, grin turning murderous. She reached for Eli’s head, pulling her ear down to her lips and hissed, “Don't fucking ruin this for me. I know what you're trying to do, but don’t.”
“Fine,” Eli whispered, “But I know what I'm doing and it's totally working.” She snuck a glance at Red, who was sipping her drink and looking like she wanted to be literally anywhere else.
“Whatever,” Nico whispered before releasing her grip on Eli. “Why don't you go hang out with Kotori? She looks a bit lonely over there.” Nico she said aloud, tilting her head toward the girl sitting alone on one side of the couch.
Oh no, Eli thought.
She turned back to Nico to see her best friend’s eyebrows raised expectantly. Eli turned again to look at Kotori on the couch and conceded, “Yeah... okay.”
She crept toward Kotori like she was tip-toeing around a sleeping bear. It wasn’t like the younger girl was dangerous by any means, but sometimes, especially recently, the usually sweet and hardworking girl became more distant and withdrawn. The reason was always the same.
As Eli passed behind Kotori’s back, she caught her tracing her soulmark. It was one of Kotori’s nervous quirks to rub the inside of her left forearm, close to her elbow.
A soulmark was a type of soulsign, something that linked you to your destined soulmate. Soulsigns varied from person to person, but Kotori’s was a kind called a soulmark. It resembled a tattoo and was something that she was born with and would die with. Kotori’s was a simple black drawing of a bow nocked with an arrow and ready to fire.
Eli made her way around the sofa, passing in front of Kotori and plopped down beside her.
“E-Eli-chan!”
“Hey Kotori. It’s almost midnight, you ready?”
“I… I guess.”
Shit. Eli wished she had her glass of champagne right now. She wasn’t good at expressing her feelings and Kotori kept hers bottled up until it eventually burst.
“Well I’m not,” Eli said. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands or where to look. “I mean, it’s just that so much has happened this year, you know? I don’t really want to leave it behind.”
Kotori nodded and took a sip of her drink. She stared at the blank television in front of them and continued to swirl her champagne around in her glass.
“But new year, new start, right?” Eli said.
Kotori paused for a moment, then said, “You say that every year.”
“I do, don’t I?” Eli chuckled and shrugged, “Well, I say it because it’s true, but I guess I need to remind myself every year.”
“It sounds like a cheesy saying from a greeting card.”
“Yeah, that might be where I got it from,” She admitted. “But it’s easy to remember and it works.”
Kotori nodded, “Yeah, I guess.”
For a beat, both women said nothing, and Eli was anxious to fill the void with the right words that would make her friend feel better. “It’s like saying it to myself reminds me that it’s okay to move forward. To me, it’s like a new year is like a fresh start waiting to happen and all you have to do is take it. New year, new start.”
“Sorry, Eli-chan, but I don’t think that’s true. A new year isn’t a new start; it’s just another chance for the same old things to happen over again. I’m tired of it.”
“Kotori…” Eli said, unable to come up with a logical response. The younger girl’s head was bowed, her hands gripping the glass in her lap. Kotori’s hair hung over her face and hid her expression. Slow seconds crawled by and Eli’s mind fumbled with useless ideas and half-assed sentiments.
Then Kotori lifted her head and exhaled heavily, “Of course that’s not true. I have the most exciting job in the world, the greatest friends. It’s more than I deserve, yet there’s still this missing puzzle piece in my life. It’s probably just me being selfish, though…”
“Of course you’re not being selfish! You’re like the most caring person I know, and you’ve helped me more times than I can count. Come on, tell me more.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Eli-chan.” She said and took a shuddering breath. “I know that not everything is about soulmates or soulsigns. Still, there are times when I look at Honoka-chan and Tsubasa and it just makes me wonder… When will I find that kind of happiness for myself? It just makes me feel so stupid for being so petty and jealous-”
Eli clasped Kotori’s hand left in hers, “It’ll happen, Kotori. The proof is right here, this bow and arrow. The way I like to see it is just physical proof of what’s always been in your heart.”
Kotori chucked. “You always know the right things to say, Eli-chan,” She gave Eli’s hand one last squeeze before letting it slip out of her grip and sighed. “I’ve just been so restless lately. When I do meet my soulmate, I’m going to yell at them for taking so long.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”
A comfortable silence was instead filled with bustling partygoers, the clinking of glasses, and excited chatter. Eli smiled and settled into the warmth.
“Anyway, what about you?” Kotori asked.
“What about me?”
“You know! Do you think you’re going to find anyone next year?”
Eli rolled her eyes. “Way to change the subject...”
“Just spill,” Kotori said, giving her a light push on the arm.
“Same as always. I don’t know… and I won’t know until something happens - if something happens.”
It was Kotori’s turn to roll her eyes. “You have an opinion on everything except soulmates.”
“I mean do I need to have an opinion? Soulmates are something that’s just there. They’ve always been there and I-”
Eli jolted as the sensation hit again. This time rushing through her bones, leaving her skin feeling prickly and her soul exposed. She felt like caged animal. Her eyes darted around the room, eyes bouncing from person to person. All around her, they were talking. There were dozens of conversations. Eli tried to make sense of them all at once, but sound of it all engulfed her. Still, she was searching, searching for - what?
“E-Eli-chan? What’s wrong?”
The feeling was weird. Eli didn’t like how it made her suspicious of everything. It was like she suddenly remembered she had an assignment for work, but couldn’t remember what it was supposed to be on.
She had to do something, and she had to do it quick. The clock was ticking and every second was a moment lost.
Meanwhile, Kotori was looking at her like she would faint at any moment.
“Sorry Kotori, it’s nothing,” Eli reassured her. “You don’t have to worry.”
“A-Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I promise.”
The other girl scrutinized her, then said, “Eli-chan, I know that something’s up but I’ll let you off the hook for now. Once the clock strikes 12, you can tell me what really happened. That way, you can start off the new year by righting a wrong.”
Kotori smiled and shrugged lightly.
Eli looked away and grumbled, “It’s not that big of a deal…”
“Then why don’t you just tell me?”
“It isn’t as simple as you think! I don’t-”
Eli stopped as the music was suddenly cut and conversations dwindled to murmurs.
Honoka made her grand appearance, not-so-gracefully leaping atop the coffee table directly in front of Eli. Honoka knocked into a cup of soda, and the liquid narrowly missed splashing Eli’s shoes. Her sudden appearance also caused several other glasses so shake, making uncomfortable noises as they scraped against the table.
Honoka wobbled on the table, arms spiraling to stabilize her. Eli looked on, worriedly and prepared to catch the girl if she fell forward. Then just as suddenly as she had leaped onto the table, she was stable.
“Safe!” She proclaimed, arms raised above her like a gymnast and the room shared a collective sigh of relief. (They really didn’t need a repeat of last year.)
“Be careful, honey!” Tsubasa called. Eli turned to see an amused smirk on Tsubasa’s face as she looked at her wife.
“Don’t worry, I will!” Honoka said, waving. She turned forward again and exclaimed, “Everyone! Thank you for coming! There are only 60 seconds left in 2016!”
Eli heard a couple of hollers.
“If there’s anything you wanna do this year, now’s your last chance! So go and find someone to kiss and OH WAIT! Wait wait wait! I almost forgot - Tsubasa and me are adopting a baby! Wooo~!” Honoka yelled, as she raised both her arms in celebration.
Cheers arose from the crowd, Eli’s being one of them.
“Kotori’s the godmother and we’re naming it Honoka 2.0!”
Eli doubted the second half of the statement greatly. She turned to her right to see Kotori’s shocked face. Her hand covered her mouth, but Eli knew that it hid a beaming smile. Tears gathered at the edges of her eyes until they spilled down her cheeks. Eli wasn’t sure if the tears were a combination of happiness, the conversation they just had, or alcohol but she couldn’t blame Kotori for crying. Eli felt emotions swelling inside her, and she decided it wouldn’t be so bad to just sit here and cry with Kotori.
Maybe she would have, if not for the nagging thought in the back of her mind, reminding her: she had to be somewhere else.
Honoka had hopped down from her place on the table to sit on the couch’s armrest and console Kotori. Tsubasa had moved to stand next to Honoka and hold her hand.
“Start the countdown!” Someone shouted. Ten seconds left - already?
“Ten!” She felt her heart beat in her chest, in her ears. It pounded in her head. It drowned out everything else.
“Nine!” She looked frantically around, but all the faces blurred together.
“Eight!” What was she looking for?
“Seven!” She couldn’t hear.
“Six!” She couldn’t see.
“Five!” She couldn’t think.
“Four!” But none of that mattered – Not if she found what she was looking for.
“Three!” Where was it?
“Two!” No… no.
“One!”
At last, she was out of time.