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It started as it did most nights, with the two of them collapsing into bed together after a long day.
They had spent the evening at Shin’s match, one of the more important ones of the season, and it had left them both worn out. Shin would have loved nothing more than to just go home and relax with Saint, but his team had other plans and had managed to rope them into dinner.
He had agreed, on the condition that Saint could join (his teammates had just laughed at that, the invitation already extending to Saint anyway).
They finally trudged into his house a couple hours later than Shin would have liked, only to be met with a hyper Chingching. She had been refusing to go to sleep lately without her bedtime routine with her P’Saint, so maybe they should have anticipated her still being up despite the hour.
As they went through the motions of putting Chingching to bed, Shin could feel the bone-deep exhaustion settling in, the high he was on from winning and the good food finally wearing out.
One glance to his side confirmed that Saint was in a similar state, his genuine smile directed at Chingching looking just a little strained. He couldn’t help the small smirk that found its way onto his face from looking at the other boy, who somehow looked more tired out from his cheering than Shin was from actually being on the field.
(Shin wasn’t particularly surprised, with how enthusiastic he was. Sometimes, it made him wonder how he got so lucky to get this back, to have the one person he cared for always there for him at every turn.
Other times, he wondered how that idiot hadn’t lost his damn voice yet.)
As soon as they closed Chingching’s door behind them, Saint’s shoulders dropped, his eyes slipping shut for a second as he finally let himself feel the tiredness.
Shin was just about to swing an empathetic arm around Saint’s shoulders, ready to guide them both to bed, when Saint’s eyes sprung open again.
“Last one in bed has to lock up!” he suddenly exclaimed, already making a dash towards Shin’s room.
For a split second, Shin was left dumbfounded.
“Asshole, my mum’s asleep!” he finally whispered, probably a bit too loudly himself, but his complaint fell on deaf ears as Saint disappeared through the doorway.
Shin just shook his head, huffing out an incredulous laugh at Saint’s antics (did he think they were five years old?) before resigning himself to his locking up duties.
By the time Shin had done the final checks and made it back to his room, Saint was fast asleep, his head anchored on the side that had always been his, with the rest of his body sprawled across the bed.
He looked peaceful at last, letting go of the adrenaline and stress of the last few hours. While it was Shin who played the match, Saint took every win and every loss as his own, celebrating and mourning in kind.
At the start, Shin figured it was some sort of residual guilt from three years ago, a wayward attempt at gaining Shin’s forgiveness, to prove himself after so long.
(Shin had forgiven him long ago, and he’d told Saint this, and Saint claimed that knew.
Shin doubted that he really knew.)
And while he loved having Saint there cheering for him, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to look to the stands and see Saint there after every moment, good or bad, it made something prickle inside Shin to think that Saint was there just because he felt indebted in some way.
So they’d talked about it, because that’s what mature soon-to-be university students did.
(It was still hard sometimes, laying things bare without any pretence or chickening out when things got too real.
But both of them remembered too well what those three years had been like, and that memory was enough to push through the awkwardness.)
And Saint had reassured Shin that he really wanted to be there, because supporting Shin was what made him happy, nothing else to it.
And Shin had believed him, because of course he had, because that’s what they did now.
So seeing Saint like this, worn out from cheering for him the loudest and longest all night, he couldn’t help the warmth that spread through him.
As Shin climbed into bed himself, he decided against just shoving Saint over to his own side. Instead, he slowly moved Saint’s arm and leg over, making just enough space for him to slide under the covers.
With a gentle touch, he reached over and pulled up the blanket that had pooled at Saint’s waist, securing it around him.
Just as he was smoothing out the top, Saint let out an incoherent grumble.
Shin froze, quickly retracting his arm, fearing he had woken up the other boy.
A few seconds passed in silence and Shin began to relax. That is, until Saint turned over onto his side, an arm coming up and settling around Shin’s waist, pulling the two of them closer, leaving their faces barely a hand’s width apart.
The sudden touch should have surprised Shin, but if anything, it was grounding in a way.
Shin looked closely, but Saint’s eyes were still shut, his breathing even. All signs pointed to him still being asleep.
At this distance, with Saint almost completely still, Shin could make out the bump of Saint’s nose that he loved to trace when he wasn’t looking, the slight flutter of his eyelashes, the small puffs of air that landed on Shin’s cheek intermittently.
The million little things that made it all feel real. The two of them. Here. Together.
The close proximity, sleeping wrapped in each other’s arms, ending up tangled together at some point in the night, was nothing new for them, all things considered.
But what was new was all the changes in the past few years – how Saint had grown into himself, a few centimetres taller, the muscles in his arms and chest more defined, his grip stronger, firmer.
It made Shin feel things he didn’t want to think too hard about, not right now at least.
He pushed the thoughts away, instead opting to make himself comfortable as well, his aching muscles from running around all day finally making themselves known. Slowly, he turned to his side and shuffled slightly downwards, his back to Saint’s chest.
He knew Saint was a heavy sleeper, but even then, he froze for a second, then two, making sure he hadn’t woken up the boy beside him. Thankfully, Saint remained completely oblivious to the movements, his arm still draped over Shin’s waist, his leg now coming up to lightly rest against Shin’s as well.
Shin relaxed at the feeling, easing into the familiar touch.
Then slowly, carefully, he grabbed at Saint’s hand, pulling him closer until they were flush against each other, just SaintSaintSaint all around him.
Just how he’d always liked it, now and before.
Shin remembers his touch being softer back then.
But maybe that was just the memories being dulled by time. The moments taking on an ephemeral quality in those three years, when he’d had no choice but to shove the memories to the back of his mind, the thoughts only escaping in the late hours of the night when the phantom feeling of Saint next to him was the only thing that got him to fall asleep.
But here, now, in the present with Saint invading all his senses, his scent all around him (Shin wasn’t really sure what it was, considering his clothes were washed here, and they used the same shampoo, and they woke up and went to bed together), but underneath it all there was always something lingering there, something uniquely Saint that never failed to ground him.
In those three years, he’d tried to chase this feeling, reaching into the depths of his mind to pull out these moments. But even then, it had been shaky, the memories just slightly out of his grasp.
But now, he could savour the solid weight of Saint against him, hear Saint’s heartbeat thump thump thumping against his back, feel the warmth that came from being wrapped up in Saint’s arms.
Were it anyone else, Shin would imagine that the steady metronome of breaths resounding on the back of his neck would leave him with goosebumps, uncomfortable and unable to rest. But it was Saint, and that meant that it had the total opposite effect.
Instead, it lulled him into a sense of security, the sense that everything was just right.
Shin wasn’t sure how it was possible, but he felt himself relax even further, almost melting into Saint’s hold. Time seemed to slow, then stand still altogether, the outside world disappearing from around him.
Slowly but surely, Shin finally drifted off to sleep, comfortable and safe with Saint’s warmth engulfing him all around.
+1
It was rare for Saint to wake up before Shin, the years of early morning soccer practice having conditioned Shin into being more of an early riser. So when Saint slowly inched an eye open that morning, his head still foggy with sleep, he certainly wasn’t expecting to be met with a face-full of Shin’s hair.
A quick look to the window let him know that it was still far too early for either of them to be awake, only the very first few tendrils of sunlight making their way across the sky. That explained why Shin was still in bed, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath Saint’s hand and his relaxed posture confirming the fact that Shin was asleep.
At that, Saint couldn’t help the smile that found it’s way onto his face.
He didn’t get to experience this often enough (he’d want it everyday if he could have it his way), waking up to Shin in his arms, their legs tangled together, the two of them so close that he couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other started.
Saint took in a deep breath, then with a soft tug, he pulled Shin tighter against him, snuggling into the crook of his neck.
He was content to stay just like that for a minute. Then two.
And then Saint wasn’t sure exactly how long it had been, as he felt sleep and the steady pattern of Shin’s breathing pulling him under once more.
<3