Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
10:45 P.M.

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: Welcome, my lovely 1st Class companions ❤️

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: What is this?

𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗹: Is this necessary, Genesis?

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: Yes.

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: Ooh, a group chat? How lovely! This is so creative of you, Genesis :)

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: Careful, Atsuko. You'll only be fueling his already-massive ego than it needs to be.

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: Why, thank you, Atsuko. And shut up, Sephiroth. You don't deserve the privilege to say such things when YOUR ego is bigger than the oceanic space the Titanic occupies 🙄

𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗹: LET'S NOT? PLEASE??

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: NO I'M JUST SAYING, ANGEAL. SEPHIROTH'S ARROGANCE COULD BUILD THE NEXT BORDERLINE BETWEEN COUNTRIES

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: GENESIS YOU TAKE THAT BACK I AM SO SERIOUS

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: Uhh

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: MAKE ME BETCH

(𝘚𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)
(𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: I think they're fighting (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗹: No. They ARE.

. . .

This is my first time writing a textfic. I hope you enjoy it!! :3

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
3:04 P.M.

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵's 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼's 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗹's 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁: much better ❤️

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Change my name right now, Genesis.

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁: no ❤️

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: :D

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁: ily Atsuko mwa ❤️

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Ewww 🤢🤢

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁: keys ❤️

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Doors <3

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Open

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Me!! :D

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Yes, Atsuko. You.

𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁: if Atsuko didn't continue I would've bullied you Sephiroth

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁's 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: NO SEPHIROTH CHANGE IT BACK OR I WILL STEAL YOUR SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONERS

(𝘉𝘜𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘈𝘓𝘌𝘙𝘛‼️ 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)
(𝘦𝘹 𝘓'𝘖𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Hiw do yoi work thus thyng

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: I'll come over

---

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
3:09 P.M.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: <3

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Yes, like that

(𝘦𝘹 𝘓'𝘖𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)
(𝘉𝘜𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘈𝘓𝘌𝘙𝘛‼️ 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Welcome back 😒

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: You fought for 5 minuyes!!

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: minutes* Atsuko

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: IDFC SEPHIROTH PLACED HIS HAND ON MY BEAUTIFUL FACE SO I PULLED HIS HAIR AND HE GOT MADDER L L L L

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: BE QUIET YOU ALMOST MADE ME BALD YOU DELUSIONAL LITTLE GREMLIN WHO HAS SO MUCH OF A VOCABULARY FROM A SINGLE POEM BOOK AND NOTHING ELSE

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: OMG

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: YEAH WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABT IT

(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Angeal?

(𝘦𝘹 𝘓'𝘖𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)
(𝘉𝘜𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘈𝘓𝘌𝘙𝘛‼️ 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Huh??

---

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
3:40 P.M.

(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: What a hassle...

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: What happened?

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Nothing, Atsuko. Everything is under control. DON'T ask about Sephiroth and Genesis, please. Thank you.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Oh, okwy!!

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Okay*

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
8:15 A.M.

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Who wants McDonald's?

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Me!! :3

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: me!! :3

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Are you mocking Atsuko, Genesis?

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: HOW DISGRACEFUL OF YOU, SEPHIROTH. LOOK. MY NAME MAY BE CALLED "BULLY ALERT" BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I NECESSARILY BULLY ATSUKO OKAY? SHE'S MY DARLING, MY MUSE, THE GODDESS IN LOVELESS, THE–

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Okay, please stfu 🙄

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: OMG HOW DO YOU CUT A PERSON OFF IN MESSAGE

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Enough.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Angeal, I'd lyke–

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Something that is no more than three items.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Aww... :(

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: STOP HOW DO YOU INTERRUPT SOMEONE IN MESSAGES TEACH MWE PLSR

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: ENOUGH.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: ...

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: ...

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: 🤨

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: I asked ONE question. "Who wants McDonald's?" But you all are being PROBLEMATIC and IMMATURE. Not to mention breaking the 4th wall. So, text properly and GIVE ME YOUR ORDERS.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: I–

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: And Atsuko. I did say you can only—ONLY—order not more than three items. The last time we all went McDonald's, Sephiroth and I had to use BOTH of our bank accounts to pay.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: I dirdnt eben say snything :(

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: I–

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: NO.

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: HAH–

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: YOU TOO, SEPHIROTH.

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: ...

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: You know what, no one's getting McDonald's.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Please Angewl at lwast but me an OREO McFlurry 😢🥺

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Learn how to use your phone first.

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: Angeal...

(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: See, this is your fault. Not mine 🥰🤣😇

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: use those emojis and see what happens next

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: How to u see q the face thinhg???

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: honey what r u saying

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: How to use the face thing

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: how the hell did you understand that 😢😔🥀🥀

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Easy I have eyes and a brain

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: R U SAYING I DON'T HAVE ONE?? 😡

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: You just click on the smiling emoji icon that's on the keyboard

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 😮😮😄😄😄☺️☺️😋😋😋

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: I regret telling you

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: is she abt to be one of those Facebook moms?

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 😈

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Okay what the fak

---

Welp, that was quite the ride to write (haha get it? Okay sorry I'll sthu) 😢😢

Chapter Text

𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗿𝗮 𝗘𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲
7:32 A.M.

(𝘙𝘶𝘧𝘶𝘴 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘳𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: Greetings, everyone. This group chat is specifically made for reporting missions, your current status and the mako reactors' energy level. Be sure it's not too high nor too low, so operations run smoothly. Other than that, this group chat will only tolerate professionalism from you, dear 1st Class SOLDIERs and Turks.

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: Yes, sir.

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: I just obtained 8 hours of sleep the moment I read the greeting

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: you get me!!

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: And I get you!!

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: together, there's really nothing we can do!!

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: Together, there's really nothing we can do!!

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: Excuse me. What did I just say?

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: Mm, not sure vro 🤷

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: first of all, you're excused 🙄😐

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: How dare–

𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗹: I apologize, President, on behalf of Genesis' manners just now. He and Sephiroth seem to share a bond so tight, he forgets to... soften his language, if I may call it that.

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: Fine. I'll look past it this time.

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: \(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: ?

𝗥𝘂𝗱𝗲: ?

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: Oh look it's Mr. Worldwide

𝗥𝘂𝗱𝗲: what?

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: HEY I'VE BEEN CALLING HIM MR WPRLDWIKE FIRWST

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: how unoriginal Sephiroth, just like your personality

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: Bich don't start

𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: has everyone's spelling really became this... bad?

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: Yws

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: No cussing, please. President had just stated that this group chat is strictly business.

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: okay biggest Rufus d rider

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: HWELKLP ME WHAT YOU ACTUALLY HAD THE BALLS TO SAY THAT

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: I've always had balls 😏

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: Genesis, that was quite inappropriate. If you do not stop, I will lick you out of this group chat.

𝗥𝘂𝗳𝘂𝘀: kick*

𝗥𝘂𝗱𝗲: ...

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: ...

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: ...

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: ...

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: ...

𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮: ???

(𝘙𝘦𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘙𝘶𝘧𝘶𝘴' 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘎𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳.)

𝗭𝗮𝗰𝗸: LMAOAOAOAO THAT WAS AWERSOME

(𝘛𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘡𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀: WAIT NO PUPPY (nice name)

(𝘛𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: Anyone else would like to test my patience?

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵: I'm so scared 😨🥺🙏💯💯😈😈😈🥶🥶 (bold)

(𝘛𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘚𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗼: What the sigma (thanks)

(𝘛𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: Now, let's continue.

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: Yesd sor

𝗧𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗴: Please work on your spelling.

𝗔𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗼: Whu does everyobe say thwt :(

---

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
7:50 A.M.

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: Atsuko, cajole your way into Rufus' heart to gain admin and add me back 😼

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: You say several minutes after getting "licked" out 👊😂

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: says the one who used cringey ass "one of da boyz" emojis and proceeds to get banned 😱😱😰🙄

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: No need to listen to Genesis, Atsuko. He's persuading you to persuade the President.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Yhat dowsn't maje sensr!!

𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧‼️: GIRL YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Brainrot core

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: NO ONE'S GETTING THEIR BRAIN ROTTED OKAY

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Too late 🥶🥶🙏🙏💯💯💯‼️‼️ /j

---

I'm sorry if it was short I have no idea what to do 😔😢

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
10:19 A.M.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Do yiu think he moon tastes likw cheese?

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: maybe

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: What tupe of chese?

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: cheddar or swiss

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Definitely swiss

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: What the hell have you guys been doing

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: My notification wouldn't stop ringing.

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: mute it then 🙄

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: I'll turn you into an actual philosophy.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: We've ben talking abouy hiw the moon wwuld taste like cheese!

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Why would the moon taste like cheese anyway? Go train or do missions, idiots.

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: girl shut yo ass up don't listen to him Atsuko we're supposed to text each other that's the whole point of this damn story

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗸: Could you please add apostrophe and punctuations? It burns my eyes having to read your message.

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Yeah 👊😒

(𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘬'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘜𝘕𝘒𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: That's

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: Creative.

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: I'm actually going to smack your face down on the floor so hard, you get your nose job done in seconds without payment.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 😨

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: HELP???

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: LMAOAOAOAO

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
9:46 A.M.

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: There was a scientist yelling who set the training room on fire. Was it you, Genesis? 😐

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: Zack dared to lay his hand on LOVELESS. Naturally, I had to defend its honor.

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: That's the most big words I've seen you use since you created this gc besides reciting that damn book 24/7

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: no one needed to know that Sephiroth 😒

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: Anyway, a dramatic retelling required a dramatic response.

𝗭𝗮𝗰𝗸: Totally worth it

𝗭𝗮𝗰𝗸: Felt like paper tho

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: Since when did you burglarize this gc

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: NO KICK HIM OUT ANGEAL

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: or don't let's chat puppy 🥺🥺❤️‼️‼️🎀😘😘😘

𝗭𝗮𝗰𝗸: I can't tell if that's sarcasm or genuine

𝗲𝘅 𝗟'𝗢𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹: It flashed me nonetheless he can join Atsuko in a spamming the most emojis competition

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 😯❓

(𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹 𝘓'𝘖𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘫𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳.)

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: That's it.

(𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘫𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

𝗭𝗮𝗰𝗸: I'm dying broski

(𝘗𝘜𝘕𝘒𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘡𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: What

Chapter Text

hi, my lovely readers!! (⁠^⁠^⁠)

It's been a long time since I opened ao3 and oh my gosh did I enjoy rereading my own work since!! LIKE WHY WAS I SO HILARIOUS

So, now that I have my account back and have a lot of free time, I **think** I will continue writing both this work and Ugly Scars or smth, idk I forgot its name 😅

But I am kinda flopping bcuz I'm running out of ideas, can someone give a suggestion in the comments? :(
That would be heavily appreciated <3

Hopefully you've followed me to get notified when I add another chapter! That's all I wanted to say :3

kyuriosity out 🌸

Chapter Text

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀
12:13 P.M.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Would anyone like some cake? :)

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: Atsuko, you've learned to type properly without my help. I'm proud of you.

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: of course the grammar police would say that

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Thank you, Angeal! (⁠^⁠ ^⁠)

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: can I have cake

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: no

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: I wasn't talking to you, emo Jay.

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: can you stfu

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: no

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Yes, Genesis! I will get you cake. What flavor would you like? :>

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: 🥹🥹 your making me cry, my muse

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: You're*

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: IDC STFU

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: no

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: HAHAHAH

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: get me red velvet.

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 👍

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: not the thumbs up emoji, that's Angeal's thing

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: BRO FRR I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: I don't do that?

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: yes you do

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: everytime I pm you, you always reply with a "👍"

𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲: Fine, maybe sometimes I do that. It's just more practical, you know?

(𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘫𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘗𝘜𝘕𝘒𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.)

𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿: What.

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: NO WAIT I HAVE A BETTER IDEA

(𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘋𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 🥴.)

𝗗𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 🥴: STOP

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: #needthat

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: #lowkeysame

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: I love your body daddy 😩 pls come fu–

𝗗𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 🥴: NO

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: may I give you backshots

𝗗𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 🥴: I WILL KICK YOU OUT THIS GROUP CHAT IF YOU TWO DON'T STOP

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Backshots?

𝗗𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 🥴: Nothing important to know

𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: it's when you–

(𝘋𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 🥴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿: when the male genital–

(𝘋𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 🥴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘫𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.)

𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: 😥❓

𝗗𝗮𝗱𝗱𝘆 🥴: I need a cake...