Work Text:
After reuniting with Octavia, Stolas stopped being Stolas. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't get up, and I often found him gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack.
I feel really bad for him, and I'm doing the best I can to help him through this tough time. He didn't even have the strenght to come to work, so now I leave him to sleep on the couch while I'm in the office or on a mission, and when I come back I make something to eat for the three of us.
My biggest fear is him doing stupid things to himself while at work. I try to call him when I'm not there with him just to know he's okay.
He doesn't speak much, tho. I told him he just has to pick up the phone and if he doesn't feel like saying something he can just make noises like hoots or something like that.
This morning was really tough for him. Stolas tried to call Via again, cause he never gave up with that, and he finally got a response. But it wasn't what he was hoping for. The scene was something like this:
*flashback*
Blitzø:"you sure you wanna call her again? You can try tomorrow"
Stolas just nods, and Blitzø sighs softly, he can't say no to him. The phone rings and someone picks up
Stolas:"Via?!"
Octavia:"Stop calling to this number! If I ever want to talk to you again, I'll be the one to call. So stop looking for me. Bye"
And she hangs up. Stolas looks at the phone, too stunned to speak or even move. Blitzø notices and immediately runs by him.
Blitzø:"Hey, breathe. She's just going through a tough time. Just like you"
Stolas stays silent. Everything starts spinning and his vision is blurring with tears. His breath caught in his throath. Blitzø embraces him and Stolas returns the hug, and soon enough he's hyperventilating and crying in the other's shoulder
*end of flashback*
So now I'm esitant to go to work, I'm scared he's going to do something stupid. And these days he's also refusing to take his anti-depressant. I'm so worried, but I also can't leave everything to Loona and M&M. Today we have many clients, and they can't handle it alone. I decide to approach him.
"hey Stols"
he looks at me
"I have to go to work. Are you gonna be fine on your own for a few hours?"
he waits a moment and then nods
"alright, I trust you. But if something, ANYTHING, happens, don't hesitate to call me"
I kiss him on the forehead "see you later, big bird". And I leave the house.
Stolas's POV
I feel so useless. Blitzø just left for work and I didn't even say anything. And this morning Octavia, my sweet Via, rejected me. When I called her she literally said she didn't want to see me nor talk to me. My mind is full of thoughts, I can't think straight.
Withouth noticing, I get up and suddenly I'm in the bathroom. I open the drawer and I take a blade. I deserve it, I tell myself. I start cutting... 1, 2, 3 cuts. It feels good, and I can't stop.
At one point, I don't even know how much time passed, I cut too deep and start panicking, only now realizing what I had done. I immediately get up and put my arms under the water.
A few cuts stop bleeding too much after a while, but a few of them are still losing too much blood. I feel myslef on the verge of passing out, I'm so lightheaded. I need to call Blitzø. Even if I'm ashamed to do so.
I grab my phone and dial his number. I wait for him to pick up doing my best to stay concious. He picks up almost immediately:
"Stols? Are you ok? Something happened?"
I only manage to croack out a few words with the tears that were now running down my cheeks
"B-Blitzø. I'm sorry"
he sounds worried as he responds
"I'm coming now" and he hangs up. I just need to stay concious.
Blitzø's POV
I just received the call from Stolas. I'm driving as fast as I can, maybe I even killed some people that were crossing the road, but I just need to be there for him. I arrive and burst into the door.
"STOLAS!!" I yell from the kitchen. But then I hear some crying from the bathroom and I immediately run in there. I can't believe what i'm looking at right now. Stolas, my Stolas, crying in the bathroom with a blade next to him, and his arms are full of blood.
I rush to his side and kick the blade out of his reach. I hug him tight, not caring if my clothes are getting wet with his blood.
"I-I-I'm so sorry. I-"
I shush him and tell him that it's okay as I let go and look at his arms. This is worse that I thought. Some of the cuts are very deep. I notice that he is breathing heavily, and maybe struggling to stay concious.
"Stols, looks at me. Try to focus on me and don't pass out".
He nods. I help him off the floor and to the sink, where I remove most of the blood. While doing this, I say
"Why would you do that? It's dangerous"
he is still crying, probably can't bring himself to stop, and I don't blame him for that
"I-I don't know. I-I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry"
I look at him and say
"It's okay. Don't apologize. You're going through a tough time".
When I finish washing away most of the blood, I take him on the bed, disinfect and bandage his cuts. When I'm done, I give him a cup of water, since he's still shaken and he lost much blood.
"Wanna talk about it?"
I ask. He shakes his head no.
"Can you just... Hold me? For a bit. I'm still kinda dizzy"
he says. My expressions softens and i immediately embrace him and rub his back comfortingly. After a moment, I decide to speak again:
"When you feel like hurting yourself again, call me right away. I'll help you"
he just nods and falls asleep 2 minutes later. I sigh as I continue holding him. It makes me really sad thinking that Stolas, the once always smiling and silly prince, just thought that he deserved to self harm.
I once though he was annoying, I though he was just a horny bird that was using me as his toy. But I got to know him, and the most important of all, I learned to love him. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy