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“You’re not falling asleep on me, right sweetheart ?”
You were.
While you might have instantly perked up the moment you heard him call you that very petname that gets your heart fluttering, there’s no denying that you were out of it a moment ago. Just a little bit, at least. Your eyes were closed. Your head was leaning against his shoulder. Your body was pressed into his side and your arms were circled around his arm- keeping you rooted to him. You something warm to keep you sane and from freezing in these frigid, late-night temperatures as the two of you sit here and wait.
But you just couldn’t help it. The silence was just so peaceful. The cold had become something you grew numb to. And he just made you feel so comfortable here. So safe. You were falling asleep. You were falling asleep. But you didn’t exactly want Tabito to know that. You promised him you’d stay up with him. You promised him you could handle it.
But now he’s looking at you with that half-lidded smile and you can’t help but feel very, very embarrassed knowing that he has caught you right in the act. Damn those eyes of his.
“ No ,” You murmur back, tearing your gaze away from his and adverting your eyes. The sound of his chuckles starts to fill the silence as you put on your childish display. But it’s quickly accented by the feeling of one of Tabito’s hands finding yours and grabbing onto it. His fingers thread between yours and he squeezes it tight as he pulls you impossibly closer into his side.
“ S’okay, ” He tells you, his head dipping by your ear to ensure you hear him. Though judging by the way he lets out yet another amused chuckle at your expense while you’re too busy shivering at the feeling of his breath brushing against your skin. You feel your cheeks warm up even more, and you open your mouth to let out some sort of snarky reply to his teasing. But before you could even get the words out, Tabito speaks up again. This time, his voice was a little softer. A little more serious. “Maybe I should have had you stay home. I still don’t like the idea of you walking back to your place by yourself.”
Your retort falls flat on your tongue, and you chance a look at Tabito- at your best friend in the whole world. He’s looking at you with a pensive sort of look. No, not at you. Past you, it would seem. Almost like he’s like disappointed in himself, just for letting you have your way.
As much as you want to protest, you can’t exactly blame him for feeling this way. This isn’t exactly the most forgiving time or location. And you know your parents would kill you if they found out you were here, at a bus stop on the very outskirts of civilization that barely anyone remembers. Even if you were with the only boy they have ever trusted. Because no sane set of parents would want to hear about their daughter sneaking off to do something like this at four in the morning. But you wanted to be here. You told him you would be here with him. To keep him company. To send him off. You promised .
That’s the only reason why you’re here right now, wrapped up in jackets and scarves while sitting at some bus stop on the very edge of town at almost five in the morning. Tabito is supposed to be heading to a soccer training camp today. You remember him reading you his offer letter. You remember how satisfied he seemed with himself as his eyes poured over every word. And now you’re here, sitting at the bus stop with his bag by your feet as he keeps you tucked into his side.
He originally didn’t want you to come and wait with him. He still doesn’t, based on the way he keeps looking at you like the very thought of leaving you out here on your own makes him sick. But you had managed to tap into his soft spot for you with lots and lots of begging and pouting. And you would like to imagine that he appreciates someone sitting out here, waiting with him for the bus to arrive. Because you can’t go with him. No one can go with him. He has to do this alone.
But he doesn’t have to be alone if that makes sense.
“Nope!” You shut that little thought down with the best smile you can offer him as you give his hand a squeeze of conviction. You’d rather walk home yourself after watching him get on his bus than run the risk of making him miss it. There’s no way you’d forgive yourself if that happened. And besides… “I can handle it.”
…you like being out here. You like being out here with him .
“Are you sure?” He presses on, just a little harder. His lip darts out and licks at his lips absently, and you can’t help but have your eyes follow the motion. He’s displaying a vulnerability that he tends not to show in front of anyone else. It’s a mesmerizing side of him to you. A side he only shows when he’s comfortable enough to let the walls come down. Just a little bit. But where he’s going, he doesn’t need to be vulnerable. That side is only for you to enjoy. “There’s still time before my bus comes for me to walk you back. In fact, how about I just-”
Just like this kiss is only for him.
It’s soft. It’s quick. It’s your first kiss. And it was just a heat-of-the-moment decision just to get him to shut up more than anything. But before you can pull always, Tabito’s hand is already reaching up and cupping your cheek as he presses his lips against yours. His kiss is much harder. It’s much longer. And almost feels more experienced as his tongue almost instantly goes to brush against your lips.
And as the kiss gets impossibly deep and he starts to pull you in impossibly closer, you realize that it’s a message. It’s a message to you. He’ll relent. He’ll stop pushing. He’ll stop asking if he could walk you home. So long as you keep letting him do this. So long as you keep kissing him back.
And as you keep kissing and kissing and kissing, you want to tell yourself that you don’t know what this means. But you know that you do. You both know that based on the looks that the two of you share in between breathes. The moments right before he dives right back in and you dive right back in with him. It feels right, you realize. It feels like the right decision, to be here. It feels like the right moment, to be doing this. And it feels like the right person to be doing this with. But is that really so surprising?
You don’t think so. It’s just a shame you didn’t work up the courage to do this sooner. Oh well. You’ll just have to make up for a future’s worth of lost time. And it’s better to start late than never.
And it’s a good thing you got started then too. Because by the time his bus arrives, you’re starting to feel dizzy and you swear your lips must be swollen based on just how many kisses Tabito must have stolen from you. But you’re still there to wait for him. You’re still there to see him off. You’re still there to get your one last hug and watch him get on that bus. And that’s all you really wanted. That’s all you really needed. Though if you had more time? You probably would have stolen a couple more kisses too. Something for the road. Something to remember him by. And something to give him a little luck too.
Not that he needed it, of course.