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Why are you avoiding Three? ART asked.
“I’m not avoiding Three,” I said. “I just don’t want to be in the same room.”
That is, in fact, avoiding it, ART said, somehow more sarcastic than usual. I thought you two were getting along?
It was true that Three was growing on me. Initially it had been nothing more than an awkward situation, a problem I didn’t want to deal with. But now, several missions later…
Well.
I feel weird around it, I said, switching to the feed. I was in my cabin, trying to watch a new serial on the large display surface Seth had requisitioned for me. Trying being the key word.
Weird?
Yeah. Weird.
It wasn’t the awkward, uncomfortable weird I’d felt when it first boarded. It was a new weird. A melty, warm weird. I didn’t like it.
Care to elaborate?
Nope.
If a bot had eyes, ART would have rolled them. Instead it pressed me down in the feed.
You’ve been ignoring it for weeks.
I’m not ignoring it! I’m just…
Okay. I was ignoring it. So what?
Three has asked me what it did wrong, ART said. I clenched my jaw.
It didn’t do anything wrong.
You need to tell it that. It’s very upset.
I felt melty and weird again. I didn’t want Three upset. I didn’t want Three upset because of me, especially. I didn’t want it hurting at all. But mostly, I wanted the weird melty feeling I got when I thought about Three to go away. I didn’t want that, either.
After a full minute of silence, I finally admitted it.
I can’t.
Why not?
UGH.
Because I feel weird when I talk to it!
You said that before. Is it a bad ‘weird’?
No, I said. Yes. I don’t know. That’s why it’s weird.
ART was quiet long enough for me to get bored and start the show up again, thankful it had finally dropped the subject.
Perhaps you feel affection.
I snorted, and paused the show. No way. SecUnits don’t do that.
Three was affectionate with its squad, ART replied. I felt a new weird feeling surge up. It wasn’t melty. It was angry. I knew they’d been…friends, as much as SecUnits were allowed to be, but…I wanted Three to feel that way about me, not them.
It made no sense. Three was my teammate. Not whatever it was with its squad.
Holism has offered to take Three on its next mission, ART said. Three has accepted.
“It can’t do that!” I burst out.
You may want to tell it that.
“I will!” I stomped out of my cabin and pinged Three. It sent a surprised ping back, and I tracked it to its cabin. I walked over and hammered on the door.
“You can’t go to Holism!” I yelled when Three opened it. It looked shocked, then annoyed.
“Come in,” it said, and I followed it inside. It closed the door, and sat down on a chair. So did I.
“Why not?” it said. “You don’t want me here.”
“That’s not—look, you can’t just leave!”
Three’s eyes narrowed. “Again, why not? You clearly don’t want me here. If you did, you wouldn’t be ignoring me.”
“Of course I want you here,” I snapped. “I just—”
I stopped talking.
“You just what?”
I stared at my hands, and my drones took a defensive pattern above my head. None looked at Three directly. I didn’t want to see its face.
“I just want you here, that’s all,” I mumbled.
“Why?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer. The melty feelings were back, and they confused me. I couldn’t name them, and it just made me feel twisty. I wanted to leave and have an emotion in private, but I couldn’t. If I left, Three might leave too.
“This is stupid,” I muttered finally, giving up. “You should—you should do what you want. If you want to go, you should go.”
“If you ask me to stay, I will,” Three said softly. I dared to let a drone look at its face. Its eyes were soft, and it looked so, so vulnerable. I wanted to protect it. And I could only do that if it was by me. Always.
“Then…I’m asking you to stay,” I said.
Three reached across and held my hand. I didn’t pull away. I didn’t mind it when it was Three.
“Okay,” it said.