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“You've reached the legendary Thanos! I can't answer the phone right now, I'm proooobably doing something cool, as always, but I'll answer as soon as I get the chance. If it's important, you know my managers number. Leave a message, maybe you'll be lucky and I'll check it.” The phone beeps, and Nam-gyu sighs before hanging up. He ran a hand through his hair, staring at the ground. Thanos hadn't answered him in a while, he was starting to think he did something wrong, that he had hurt or upset Thanos, and he wasn't sure what he should do to fix that.
Nam-gyu raises to his feet, grabbing the locket that Thanos had given him and opening it up. Thanos had given him the pills he had left, and Nam-gyu smiled fondly. Thanos was willing to give Nam-gyu such an important thing so easily, it warmed his heart and made him feel loved, it was wonderful. He took the circular pill between two fingers, sliding the drug between his lips and biting down on it. Almost immediately, he felt the effects of it began to take place, making him more mellow while giving him the energy he needed.
He made his way to the bathroom, staring at the mirror above his sink with a small smile. He tilts his head, leaning in further to stare at the pupils that were hidden within his dark eyes. He sighs, stifling a yawn, brushing through his hair quickly. He turned on the water, grabbing his toothbrush and running it through the water.
‘I hope Su-bong answers the phone soon..’ He thinks to himself, staring at himself as he brushes his teeth. He spits the toothpaste into the sink, rubbing under his eyes with his free hand. He rinsed off his toothbrush, tapping it three times against the rim of the sink, making a clicking noise with his mouth.
He picks up his phone again, dialing the number and letting out an annoyed noise when he went to voicemail again. “Fucking Thanos.. is it that hard to answer your phone?” He hisses, feeling the familiar sting of tears forming in his eyes. He moves his hand to his eyes, aggressively rubbing them to get rid of the tears. He didn't want to cry, he didn't cry. That wasn't Nam-gyu, it never has been. Never was, never would be.
“Just answer." He frowns, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, feeling his emotions heighten even stronger because of his drugs. He tugged on his hair, letting himself zone out momentarily before forcing himself to snap back into reality. He returns to his bedroom, staring at the empty bed and the clothes that weren't his.
He strips himself of his clothes, putting on a new pair of jeans, and a shirt that belongs to Thanos. He runs a hand through his hair again, a nervous tick. He put the cross locket on, and went to the door to put on shoes and go shopping. He hums to himself, opening the door and pushing himself out to go.
He walks to the store, fidgeting with rings on his fingers, some were gifts from Thanos as well, he thinks. He was wandering on the street, silent and lost in his thoughts as he does. He opens the door to the store, grabbing some low effort foods and snacks, and a simple drink, paying for it at the till and leaving with a minute or two worth of small talk.
Indignation ran through him at the pitying look from the cashier, he wasn't sure why they looked at him like that. He was fine, he was happy, so why did they pity him? He hated it. Hated being pitied, feeling small, it made his chest tighten, and he thanked the cashier before leaving.
He dials Thanos again, listening to the familiar voicemail and actually leaving a message this time. “Thanos. People keep giving me weird looks, they look at me like a beat cat, it was fine the first few times since we made it out of the games, but now it's just pissing me off. Do you know how I should fix it? I don't like when they look at me like that, it makes me feel sick and nauseous. Can you help me?” He asks, his tone whiny. “Call me back, Su-bong... I'm missing you.” He murmurs, hanging up and feeling a bit better after getting to rant to his friend.
Nam-gyu returns home, taking off his shoes and going to put the food away. He didn't buy much, he didn't have much of an appetite. He grabbed a cup of ramyeon, filling a kettle with water and turning it on. He wasn't very hungry, but he knew he should eat, he knew Thanos would want him to eat, knew he would be disappointed if he didn't.
He waits until the kettle goes on, and opens the lid enough to pour in water and he waited. Nam-gyu grabs his tablet, opening it and moving onto YouTube, silent as he types his search. Music filled the room, the familiar sight of Thanos performing making him feel warm inside, warmer than even the noodles did. He seemed happy now. He watched the video, staring at it intensely.
He makes a noise, getting ready for his noodles and he begins to eat them while watching the video. He hums to himself, following with Thanos' music, smiling softly. He would laugh a bit at certain things, traits he had seen from Thanos in day to day life. There were a lot of major differences, but he enjoyed the familiarity from it.
He traces the rim of the cup noodles, the music becoming white noise as he zones out. He yawns at the warmth, feeling tired again from it all. He stretches, finishing the noodles and staring at the video.
His phone rings, and he grins when he sees the contact that lights up — Thanos. He finally called him back! Nam-gyu eagerly answers the phone, already beginning to talk.
“Hyung! Hi, I was missing you, I was worried, are y-” He gets cut off almost instantly.
“You need to stop calling. I can't keep hearing Su-bong's phone go off. You know exactly what happened, you were there, you told me. I need you to stop, because it's hurting me, too. He's gone.” A woman says, and Nam-gyu feels his heart shatter.
Right.
He's gone. He has been gone for months. He's never going to see his friend again, never get to hear his voice, feel his touch, nothing. He misses him. He missed the nickname. Nothing he has of Thanos' belongings were a gift. He took them from his corpse, selfishly, to try and preserve his memory of Thanos.
“..okay. My apologies.” He says quietly, getting ready to hang up the phone.
She sighs on the other end. “Okay. Would you like to come over? I know Su-bong and I had a very poor relationship, but.. I think you deserve more closure than what you got. And I want to hear the stories, about who he was, even the bad things. I want to hear about what happened to you both.” She offers.
“Yeah. I'd like that, thank you. It means a lot. And I... I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I couldn't take proper care of him. I tried, but I..” Nam-gyu trailed off.
“You tried. That's all there is. Come over on Saturday, I want to meet who would have been my son-in-law properly, even if I don't really like that lifestyle. It's the least I can do, because we both lost someone.” She hangs up after that, and a sob tore itself from Nam-gyu's throat.
He misses his boyfriend more than anything in the world.
He couldn't stop himself from crying.