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[昔者庄周梦为蝴蝶，栩栩然蝴蝶也，自喻适志与，不知周也。俄然觉，则戚戚然周也。不知周之梦为蝴蝶与，蝴蝶之梦为周与？周与蝴蝶则必有分矣。此之谓物化。]
“No! You can’t leave me! Ge!” He shouted, voice riddled with distress. The man kept walking.
Měilì de rénhái xiàoróng rú huǒchái
“Kris! Kris Wu!” Nothing.
wǒ xīn rán qǐlái
“Wu Yifan!” Still, he kept walking, further and further out of his life both metaphorically and literally.
“Li Jiaheng!” That one got a response. The man stopped and turned around. He let himself get hopeful for just a moment. The man’s face gave no indication of recognition.
Wǒ ài de rénhái láibují biǎobái
“Sorry, I don’t know anyone by that name. Maybe you’re looking for someone else, but I’m not your man.” He said simply, before turning around and continuing to walk. Leaving him confused and, most importantly, alone.
“Kris please! Wǒ ài nǐ-” It was no use, the man was already gone and he was already alone.
bǎ nǐ qiǎng huílái
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Zitao woke up a disorientated, panting mess and looked up just in time to see his close friend, Wu Yifan –who preferred to go by ‘Kris’- come through the door.
My heart’s beating faster
“Are you okay?” He asked, clearly worried, “you sounded like you were shouting.”
I know what I’m after
“I- So…it was just a dream?” Zitao asked, relief washing over him like some kind of massive tsunami.
I’ve been standing here my whole life
“Well, obviously, but it sounded like you were shouting my name –all three of them- so are you sure you’re okay?” Kris asked him, coming over to sit on the bed.
Everything I’ve seen twice
“Um, yeah? I think? God it was scary…” Zitao said, hugging one of his pillows. “I dreamt that…don’t laugh…that you left and never came back to me…”
Now it’s time I realised
“Really? You make it sound like we’re a couple. You wouldn’t be crushing on me now would you, Taozi?” Kris said teasingly but was more than surprised when Zitao leaned over and kissed his on the cheek as a response.
“Maybe I am, Kris-ge, maybe I am.”
“then maybe I am too.” Kris replied and leant over to kiss Zitao, this time fully.
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Zitao opened his eyes in bewilderment to find that he was in a hospital bed with several people crowded around him.
“Taozi!”
“Yah, Tao’s awake!”
“Zitao, are you okay?”
“Oh look, the panda finally opened his eyes~!”
Zitao looked up to find it was Yixing, Han –who preferred his full name to be put together as Luhan-, Minseok and Jongdae in that order clamouring around him upon his waking up.
“Wait…Huh?” Despite having so many questions, that was all Zitao could manage in his current groggy state.
“What do you mean ‘huh’? Kris found a korean boyfriend and went to live over there and you’ve been out for days in shock!” Jongdae all but screamed.
“Plain Chinese please, Jongdae, my brain won’t process Korean right now…” Zitao replied and Jongdae looked at Luhan who nodded and translated what he had said to Zitao. At this Zitao sat bolt upright.
It’s spinning back around now
“What? But I- I was just with him- I had had a bad dream and he was comforting me-” Zitao began but stopped for a moment.
On this road I’m crawin’
“What…what was the last thing he said to me before he left…?” Zitao asked warily.
“Something like ‘I don’t know anyone by that name. Maybe you’re looking for someone else, but I’m not your man.’ I think that’s what you told us before you blacked out anyway.” Minseok said and suddenly Zitao began to feel very faint again.
Save me ‘cause I’m fallin’
“Did I ever….y’know…” Zitao asked, afraid of the answer he might receive.
“Confess to him? No I don’t think you did…” Yixing said, bowing his head as he felt so sorry for his younger friend right now.
Now I can’t seem to breathe right
“So, how long was I out for? How long ago did he leave?”
“About a week and a half ago. You called me telling me he left and what he said as he went and then you blacked and you’ve been out ever since.” Jongdae said, for once mellowing his usually bright mood.
‘Cause I keep runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ runnin’
“Guys, I…Feel faint again…” Zitao said, moving to lay back down in the bed he was in.
Runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ runnin’
“Taozi!” Was the last thing he heard from Yixing as he blacked out once again.
Runnin’ from my heart
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Zitao woke up. He was laying in his apartment bed again but there was no one else in the room.
Měilì de rénhái xiàoróng rú huǒchái
No one shouting or running to his aid or to check if he’s alright.
wǒ xīn rán qǐlái
No one swearing loudly as he knocked the milk everywhere in his clumsy attempt to get a midnight snack. No one laying beside him comforting him.
Wǒ ài de rénhái láibují biǎobái
He was entirely alone. Alone and disorientated with no clue what was dream and what was reality. If he was really awake right now or if he was going to be shaken awake any moment by a worried Kris; or woken and told all over again about Kris' leaving by Luhan, or Minseok, or Yixing, or even Jongdae. All he knew was that right there, in that moment, Kris was gone.
bǎ nǐ qiǎng huílái
And he was alone.
[Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.]
Word Count: 966.