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It’s here. The night before Steve’s wedding is finally, finally here. Long awaited, and dreaded for even longer, mainly by Jimmy. He doesn’t know why he’s dreading it. It’s been only Lord knows how long since they broke up, but the fact Steve’s getting married still stings.
Jimmy's been lost in his head for the past week, remembering the good times with him. The quick, stolen kisses to the long, heated makeout sessions after shows that led to some of the most intense, passionate moments in his life.. even more platonic memories, sat at his house just shooting the shit, had his heart aching.
Even as he sits beside Steve at the bar, he can’t get the fuck out of his own head. He glances over at the man, spotting that familiar lost look on his face. He takes a drink off of his beer, setting it down on the bar. He turns to look at the man fully, taking in that beautiful profile. He manages to stare for a good few seconds before Steve realizes, and looks over at him in return, a slight frown on his face.
“You’ve been acting weird all night, dude. What the fuck’s up with you?” He asks, to which Jimmy returns a shrug.
“I dunno.” Jimmy replies, almost flatly. He picks up his drink, taking a nice, large swallow of the cool beverage.
Steve raises an eyebrow, setting his own drink down. “I know you better than that. You know what’s up. Just tell me, man.”
Jimmy sighs, turning back to look away from Steve. “I just..it’s stupid.” He starts, trying to figure out how to phrase this longing. The tugging, the painful aching in his chest seems impossible to define.
“Do you ever wonder what life coulda been like if shit was different?” Jimmy sputters out, looking back over at Steve. The man looks a bit exasperated.
“Jimmy, that’s not-“
“Just let me talk man, hear me out..” He interrupts, holding a hand up to silence Steve.
“I keep thinkin’, y’know.. what if we got married or somethin’? Would we be happy and grow old together and all that sappy shit? Coulda gotten some house in the suburbs, adopted some bratty kids, maybe a dog or somethin’..” Jimmy muses, his hand dropping to the side as he shrugs again.
Steve still looks exasperated, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. It made Jimmy frown in turn, and he could hear the big deep breath the man was taking.
“It’s not appropriate to be talking about this and you know it’s too late to be thinking like that.” Steve tells Jimmy, almost firmly, though there’s a tremble in his voice.
“It’s not too late. We’re both alive aren’t we?” Jimmy returns, his eyes roaming over Steve’s face. The inner part of his eyebrows quivered, almost unwillingly.
“You know what the fuck I mean, Jimmy. It’s too late.” Steve’s voice sounds more aggravated, the frown on his face growing more prominent. Jimmy shifts in his chair, fully facing his body towards the other man. Jimmy reaches a hand out, gently grabbing Steve’s.
“Please, Steve. Just one-“ Steve attempts to pull his hand away, to which Jimmy grasps with both hands, holding onto him firmly.
“Just one more chance or-or, one more time. I don’t care, I just need to be close to you one more time. This is the last time, I swear. I won’t bring it up ever again.” Jimmy pleads, leaning in closer to Steve. His voice is quiet, shaky. He feels desperate for anything Steve can give, whether it be a simple kiss or full sex.
But, Steve seems to have pity, and sighs, setting his free hand over Jimmy’s on his other.
“I don’t know what to tell you Jimmy.”
“Don’t tell me anything, then. Just kiss me. Do anything. Please.” Jimmy begs again. Steve glances around the bar, seemingly making sure nobody sees, before leaning in and giving Jimmy a quick, chaste kiss on the lips. Jimmy seems to take this as an invitation to make out with Steve, though, and just presses his lips harder against his. Steve doesn’t quite feel like pulling away either.
The two hold the kiss, with Jimmy’s tongue poking out and tracing the thin line of Steve’s lips. Steve allows the entrance, his own sliding against Jimmy’s. The singer felt happy at the moment, pressing himself closer to Steve. He revels in his scent, the way his lips feel against his, the warmth of his hand encapsulated between his..finally, this is perfect. This is the forever he should get to live.
The fantasy is broken as Steve pulls away, a small, almost invisible strand of spit connecting their lips. He squeezes Steve’s hand, leaning back in almost tentatively. It’s a test, trying to see if Steve would pull away or not. He doesn’t, so Jimmy persists, entangling the man back into a heated kiss. One of his hands pulls away from Steve’s, running up his thigh as Steve starts to reciprocate.
The feeling is all too familiar for both men, the feel of Steve’s tongue inside of Jimmy’s mouth, Jimmy seemingly trying to hit Steve’s tonsils.. the shared heat between the two is enough to make Jimmy sweat.
Jimmy’s searching hand finds Steve’s hip, gently gripping it, but that seems to be too much for the man, who suddenly shoves away. He looks down at Jimmy with an expression that makes his heart drop. Disgust, mixed in with some pity.
“We shouldn’t do this.” Steve repeats, standing up from his seat. Jimmy watches with widening eyes as Steve fishes in his pocket for his wallet. Of course, Jimmy did just ask for one more, so he can’t argue. He turns back to the bar, trying to avert his gaze from Steve.
The money is put on the bar, and Jimmy spares a final glance toward Steve.
“I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow.”
And with that, Steve walks away from the bar, disappearing into the crowd and leaving Jimmy alone with his thoughts.