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The full moon shone brightly in the summer night sky. It cast a glow upon the Son family residence, seeping through the master bedroom window. A tail basked in the moonlight, eagerly thrashing as its owner mumbled in his sleep.
“Huh…Grandpa…?”
His eyes suddenly shot open. He sat up in a panic, looking around in all directions. It took several seconds until he realized he was safe at home. It was just another one of those nightmares. He rubbed his eyes and blinked several times. He then got out of bed with barely a sound so as not to wake up his wife, Chi-Chi, who was peacefully slumbering on the other side of their bed. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, immediately guzzling down the drink as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He then took in deep breaths to calm himself.
***
“Goku, what troubles you?”
“Huh? I’m fine Kami.”
“I sense uneasiness in your heart, and you have not been able to repeat the last sets of katas correctly. You would hide information from the god of Earth?”
“It’s nothing really…just some weird dreams…”
“Hmmm. Step forward.”
“What are you…?”
“I see...A recurring nightmare that you cannot remember when you wake.”
“You read my mind like Karin!”
“This will impede your training…Come, I have an idea that may help.”
***
Goku opened his eyes. He was now sitting on the living room floor. The meditation had calmed him down some. It used to be more effective than this. The special mint that would help him at times had also run out. It was a hard plant to find, though he doubted that it would help much at this point. For the past two weeks the dreams were having him wake up in a worse state of panic than the night before, and it was incredibly frustrating that he could not remember what occurred in them.
He considered talking to Chi-Chi about all of this, but dismissed the thought. They were trying to have a baby, and Chi-Chi seemed so excited. She didn't need to worry or fuss over him about some silly dreams.
After a couple more moments, Goku felt he was calm enough to go back to bed, but not before making a brief visit to the bathroom. As he walked in, a gust of wind blew through the bathroom window that was left open. It blew the curtains aside, catching Goku’s attention. Without thinking, he looked up to see the Full Moon's shining straight into his eyes.
Before his mind could process what he had seen his body froze. His tail twitched and began swishing back and forth. He felt a tingle shoot up from the root of his tail through his spine, causing his hairs to stand on end. His heart rate increased, beating loudly in his chest.
—
Chi-Chi awoke to an earthquake. She immediately leapt out of bed and looked around.
Where was Goku?
She then heard an earth shaking roar that sounded way too close for comfort.
Maybe it wasn’t an earthquake.
She jumped through her bedroom window, landing on the grass. When she turned around to have a look at the source of the roar, Chi-Chi found herself facing a giant monkey smashing the walls of her home. With Goku nowhere to be found and her home currently being destroyed, Chi-Chi sized up the monster. It appeared as large as most big dinosaurs, which she could take down with ease as an experienced martial artist. She got into a fighting stance and prepared to attack. Just then, the monster turned its head towards her and shot out a ki blast from its mouth. Chi-Chi barely managed to dodge the blast, rolling to the side. She was not expecting the beast to use ki attacks! She attempted to attack again, and charged towards the creature. She shot a ki blast, which she had recently mastered with her training sessions with Goku, in one direction to distract the beast. With the creature’s attention diverted, she leaped into the air, aiming a kick at it. In an instant, it turned, grabbing her with one of its paws. Chi-Chi struggled against the monster's grip. In response it tightened its hold on her. Furious, she struggled harder. She slammed her fists against the beast.
"Let go of me you monster! How dare you destroy my house! When I get free you're going to pay for it!"
Her shouting seemed to have an effect on the monster. It froze for several seconds, then loosened its grip. It placed Chi-Chi on the grass and sat down, sending the earth shaking as it landed on the ground.
Confused over its sudden change in demeanor, Chi-Chi questioned, "Why…why are you looking at me like that?"
The beast could only whimper. Its tail puffed up, drooped, and curled itself downwards in a particular manner that seemed familiar to her.
It was something her husband did with his tail when he was upset.
And Goku was still missing.
It couldn't be…
"Goku?"
Another whimper.
She inched towards him and he backed away as if he was fearful of something. He scrambled to his feet and bolted into the forest, his steps leaving a path of destroyed foliage.
“Goku wait!” Chi-Chi ran after him.
—
He kept running. He had to get away from her. Primal urges wanted him to stop and destroy everything he could see. He used all of his will to keep going forward.
Eventually he stopped. The Moon had set and he felt himself changing.
—
Chi-Chi jumped over a massive tree that Goku had knocked over. She had been tracking him for what felt like hours. Luckily, a giant monkey leaving a path of destruction wasn’t so hard to follow. She was more surprised with how he could move so quickly.
While following Goku’s path, she had time to think for herself. The world she grew up in was filled with demons and creatures that could shapeshift. In fact, her father was a demon that could transform into a bull monster, and she was part demon herself. It was not the fact that her husband could change into a giant monkey that really bothered her. It was the fact that he was made unaware of his ability to, and she worried for the toll it may take on him to discover that he could through the event that had just transpired.
She recalled a moment where she and Goku had a dispute.
***
"Goku, would ya like to take a walk with me after dinner? There's a meteor shower happenin' tonight!"
Goku analyzed the orange evening sky through the window of their home and scrunched up his nose. "No.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause…we just can't. We could see the meteor shower tomorrow."
“They won't be here tomorrow. It won’t appear for another year!”
"Oh. Then we'll just have to miss it."
Frustrated with Goku's terse response, Chi-Chi huffed, "I ain't gonna miss it. If you don't go with me, I'll go myself!"
She turned around to leave the room when Goku gently grabbed her arm. "You shouldn't go out either. It's dangerous."
"What's so dangerous about tonight?" She glared at him.
He returned her glare with a stern look. "Tonight's a full moon. If you look at it, there's a monster that’ll come."
"A monster?"
"Yeah. It's a big monster that can squish you. It ain't safe out when there's a full moon. My grandpa said so."
Chi-Chi released herself from his grasp, crossing her arms. "So that's why ya don't wanna go out?” She couldn't believe that the world's strongest martial artist, the one that defeated the Great Demon King Piccolo, would be afraid of some moon monster. “You got a lot stronger since your grandpa told you about that monster. You could probably defeat it real easy now. You ain't gotta worry about silly demons no more.”
Goku's tail let out an irritated flick and bristled in anger. "It ain't a silly demon! This is different! My grandpa fought it before and it's dangerous. We can't defeat it. I don't want you going out tonight!"
Chi-Chi was surprised by his sudden outburst and felt herself angering as well. "You ain’t got the final say on what I can do! Besides, how do you know you can't defeat it if you never tried?!”
"I can't!" He turned around, facing his back to her. His shoulders tense, his bristled tail curling downwards, and his voice quieter. "It killed Grandpa…It's too dangerous…I…I can't let it hurt you too."
The pain she saw in his eyes before he turned away from her, the anguish in his voice, and his tense body posture immediately caused her anger to dissipate. A wave of sadness and guilt washed over her. “I’m sorry…I didn’t know.”
Goku remained silent.
This was clearly something that still hurt Goku. She was aware that his grandfather had passed away when Goku was a young boy, but the circumstances of his passing were never made known to her until now. Chi-Chi didn't want to cause Goku any further distress. "l won't go out. We can see a meteor shower another time."
She saw his shoulders and tail relax. "Thanks Chi-Chi…And it's okay, I didn't mean to get angry at you like that either." He turned back to face her with an apologetic look on his face. “I'm sorry too.”
***
Her heart ached for him now that she was able to somewhat piece together what truly happened.
She looked up to the horizon. Dawn was beginning to break through the mountains. She sighed and kept going, hoping that she could catch up to Goku soon.
—
Goku sat by a river, having fully returned back to normal. Completely nude from the transformation that tore apart his clothes, and completely vulnerable from the turmoil of emotions that plagued his mind. He stared at his tail that he held in his trembling hands, a thousand thoughts racing through his head.
While transformed, Chi-Chi’s fury had awoken some of his consciousness. He still couldn't remember all that happened at the moment, but it was enough for him to realize he was the monster all along.
It explained all the weird blackouts. It explained why no one had heard of the Moon Monster except him. It explained why his friends were so nervous when his tail would grow back.
He was the monster that he feared would hurt the ones he cared for.
Memories then began bubbling to the surface: Pilaf’s castle being decimated as his friends ran for their lives, Master Roshi preparing a Kamehameha at a destroyed tournament grounds…
His grandpa–
His breathing quickened, becoming shallow and erratic. His eyes widened as a numbness began spreading through his body. Goku let go of his tail, bracing his elbows against his legs, clutching his head between his hands. His entire body began to tremble in horror at the images that played in his mind. He remained in this position for a long moment, panting hard. He was overwhelmed and in shock as he struggled to process the memory that belonged to the monster that murdered his grandfather – his own memory.
“Goku! It’s going to be alright m’boy, I'm going to –”
Roar!!!
His grandpa's body lay lifeless on the ground, bones shattered; bloodied and bruised.
The same way ten-year-old Goku found his body when morning came.
Goku felt as if his mind was going to implode. A quiet whimper escaped his lips. He wanted the memories to stop, but they wouldn't.
The memories then flashed to Chi-Chi. He remembered grabbing her, the beast wanting to squeeze every ounce of breath from her. He couldn't bear to think what he could have done if it wasn't for her rage that snapped him out of his mad frenzy.
The image of her upset face burned in his mind.
"Let go of me you monster!”
He wasn’t supposed to hurt her.
Or his grandpa either.
He hated himself.
He could never go back to Chi-Chi like this now.
What would she think? She must be so mad at him. Nevermind the fact that he destroyed their home, the home the Ox King had so kindly given them to start their new life together. He promised on their wedding day that he would keep her safe; protect her. A promise that had strengthened within his heart as he grew closer to her.
He broke that promise. It was unforgivable in his eyes. What if he transformed again? There was no guessing whether he would be able to control the monster from hurting Chi-Chi…or worse..
Goku buried his face in his hands. He was still trying to process all the memories that had returned to him, while his mind simultaneously spiraled on how he could possibly face Chi-Chi.
He didn't want to face her. In his mind nothing he could say would make the situation any better, but where should he go? Master Roshi's place? Bulma's? No. His friends were afraid of his transformation. He already caused them enough trouble the other times he transformed.
He needed to go away. Somewhere – anywhere that wasn’t close to anyone he cared about. Somewhere uninhabited. Yeah, he just needed to get away. He’ll figure it out himself there and –
His nose twitched at a familiar scent. He sensed the surrounding area for ki to make sure.
It was Chi-Chi. She was nearby…and fighting a lion?!
Curious, he dashed into the trees, hoping that when he got there he wouldn’t be too late to watch her (and help out if she needed it).
—
In a forest clearing, Chi-Chi stared down at a mountain lion. The lion crouched, hissing at her in warning. When it realized the woman would not back down it roared and pounced. Chi-Chi evaded the attack with ease and landed two hard blows to the animal. It flopped onto the ground, hissing in pain. She let it have a few moments to gather its strength. The lion shakily stood up and turned to her, appearing as if it wanted to continue the fight. Chi-Chi glared at it with menace, revealing her demon form. Her tail unfurled from behind. White horns protruded from her head as she growled, baring her fangs at the large cat. This was something she didn't do often, but with all that had happened she didn't have the mental capacity to deal with this lion any longer. Frightened, the cat squeaked and ran away. Satisfied with the lion’s retreat, Chi-Chi was about to continue onwards when she heard a loud thump.
“Ow!”
She turned to see the lion bounding out of a cluster of bushes and away into the trees. She walked towards the source of the voice.
“Goku?”
He stood up from the bushes, clutching his forehead. “That lion’s got a really hard head!”
“Were you watching the whole time?”
“Nah, I missed the beginning, but I got to see ya scare it off in the end. You were awesome!”
She glared at him. “Why didn’t you help me?”
Panicked, he spluttered, “Uh, you can take care of a lion on your own easy! Anyways, I gotta go somewhere. I’ll –”
He felt her jump on him. He flinched and then remained very still, afraid that any movement he made would hurt her. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “I’m so happy I found you!”
He felt a pang in his heart. The contact against his bare skin felt somewhat soothing, but he resisted the urge to return the hug. With the utmost care, he gently pushed her off him.
“Chi-Chi…I really gotta go…”
She looked at him, confused. “Whaddya mean you gotta go? Where?”
“I just…need to go away for some time.”
Chi-Chi was not one to deny someone personal space, but given the state that Goku was in and what had just happened, she worried for his well being. “Goku…Please talk to me. We’re partners…You can tell me anything. We can figure this out together.”
Goku struggled to speak. “I…” his voice trembled, “The Moon Monster…Grandpa…”
Chi-Chi was able to piece together what he was talking about. “Oh Goku…” She reached out for an embrace to comfort him, but he took a step back.
“N-No! I-I don't wanna hurt you…”
“I trust you.” She stepped forward, her voice gentle as she spoke. “I know you won't hurt me.”
Goku shrunk further away from her. “I can't control it…I'm a monster.”
She continued speaking in a soothing voice, cautiously walking towards him. “You ain’t a monster, Goku. And you’re not transformed now.”
"But you saw what I was!" He lowered his head and his tail fell towards the ground.
“Turning into a giant monkey doesn’t bother me. Pa and me can both transform too. That doesn’t make you a monster.”
"I am a monster…the monster that…that killed my own grandpa!"
"That was an accident. You ain’t a monster." she reaffirmed. “You're Son Goku. My husband.” She took his hands into hers. She held them for several moments. “See? I'm still okay.”
“You won't be okay in the next full moon…” he mumbled. “So I have to go away…You’ll be safer without me around. I don’t want to put you in danger.”
Chi-Chi looked at him in the eye, her expression still gentle, but determined. “I’m not afraid of the danger.”
As always, Goku was amazed with her strong will, but he shook his head. “You can’t…I’m not supposed to hurt you…I don’t know if I can control myself…All of this is my fault…I have to fix this myself.”
“You were able to control yourself earlier. We can figure something out together. We’re a team.” The fearless princess was not about to give up on her husband. “I’m here for you no matter what.”
No one had ever been so kind and supportive to him in this way before. “Chi-Chi…”
“And what happened to your grandpa…You didn't know you could transform. You can't blame yourself for an accident that wasn't in your control." She brought a hand to his cheek. Goku shut his eyes, instinctively leaning into her touch. Tears began to well up as he fought to hold them back. Chi-Chi stroked his cheek to comfort him. "It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” She continued stroking his cheek, noticing that it was calming him down a bit.
“I killed my own grandpa…and there's no way to fix it.”
“No…but it wasn’t your fault…and I'm sure your grandpa never blamed you either. You told me he was happy to see you again at Fortuneteller Baba's place, right?"
Goku nodded with a solemn smile, his cheek still resting in his wife’s hand. "He told me to train my tail up real strong. It's exactly what I did."
"What do you think he'd be feeling knowing you did just that?"
He thought for a moment, a lump forming in his throat.
"Proud."
He slowly reopened his eyes. The talk he had with her, and her sweet face smiling back at him eased some of the fears he had. Goku embraced her, wrapping his tail around her waist. Chi-Chi embraced him back, coiling her tail around his. He buried his face in the crook of her neck.
I’ll make it up to you grandpa.
I’m going to find a way to control this.
I’ll make sure Chi-Chi won’t ever be hurt from this again.
Surrounded by the comforting smell and warm embrace of his wife, Son Goku let out the stream of tears that he held within his heart.
