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She found herself dazing off again.
She never used to in the past. She’d always been highly attentive to everything going on around her. But recently, she found herself zoning out constantly. One second she’d be going about her day, the next thing she knew she was staring off into nothing. It was like her head had been stuffed with cotton. Sometimes other hospital staff would joke about how she constantly had her head in the clouds.
She’d also felt unusually ill recently. Every day, she felt weak and exhausted, when just a few months ago she’d was constantly a bundle of energy. It almost felt like being on the verge of having a fever that never even ended up coming.
Maybe she was just under a lot of stress nowadays. Between her homework, applying to nursing school, and her internship at the hospital… the stress was bound to get to her somehow.
She shifted her gaze to look out the window, down at the world below. A light rain had started outside, sending raindrops pattering against the sidewalk below.
Lana had left not long ago; she was free from this place now.
She felt happy for Lana; after months of being locked up in this hospital, she was finally free.
And yet, at the same time, a hint of sorrow tinged her heart. It was no doubt she and Lana had been close. Every day, she did everything she could to ensure Lana’s time at the hospital was the best it could be. Even if before being discharge Lana had kept insisting she quit, she still felt rather sad seeing her go.
All she hoped was that she’d be able to visit Lana outside of the hospital someday. Maybe once both of them were better, then they could reunite…
She snapped her gaze away from the window. She had to stop letting her mind spiral like this. It was no better than straight up zoning out.
She stepped away from the window and out the door. She needed to go for a walk for a little bit to clear her brain. She was probably just overwhelmed. A short stroll through the hallways should help.
But before she could step out into the hall, a shadowy figure appeared in the corner of her eye. She quickly turned her head to see what it was. She assumed it was just an illusion. She knew that people sometimes hallucinated seeing shadow people out of the corner of their eyes. This instance was probably no different.
But the being lingered in her sight. It stood before her, at least a foot taller than her. It was in the shape of a man, with unruly hair and greek-styled clothing. He almost looked reminiscent to the shadowy figure Lana had often described seeing.
“What… the hell…” she uttered to herself in shock. What was this thing…?
“You will suffer for daring to get close with her,” the shadowy figure began, whispering to her in a deep, eerie voice. The sound sent shivers down her spine. Her breathing grew erratic as it continued to speak. “You deserve to rot like the monster you are inside.”
Then it stepped forward. Reaching out an arm, it placed a single hand on her cheek. The touch felt ice cold against her skin.
“Just know that this is all because of Lana. The day you first crossed paths with her was the day your soul became mine…”
*****
“Lana…”
She muttered the first thing that came to her mind as soon as her thoughts began to flow freely again.
She didn’t know why, but her brain lingered on that girl’s name. Lana was the last person she’d been thinking about before everything went fuzzy.
But what had happened?
She had the feeling something had occurred between then and now.
So just what was it?
Her mind was in a hazy whirl. Looking around, she tried to gather her surroundings.
She stood in the center of the hospital hallway. She knew this hospital like the back of her hand. Each twist and turn of the maze-like corridors were familiar to her; after all, she’d been working here for over a year now.
But something was… different.
All the lights were dim. Torn furniture was strewn all about the hallway. Books and broken shards of glass were scattered across the floor. And most notably, it was empty. The eerie silence which lingered through the halls almost made her skin crawl.
Looking around at the carnage that filled the dilapidated halls, she couldn’t help but wonder: what had happened?
Last thing she remembered, she’d been staring out the window, not long after Lana was discharged.
And that was when she saw Him…
And He spoke to her…
Shit.
She turned in the direction of her office. If what He had said was true, then…
A sharp pain suddenly shot through her leg. Her knees gave way beneath her, sending her stumbling to the ground.
She gritted her teeth in pain. God, her leg felt like it was on fire; there was clearly something wrong with it. But she couldn’t deal with that issue right now; she had other matters that needed her attention first.
Gripping onto the wall, she carefully pulled herself up again, placing as little pressure on the one leg as possible. Even still, it roared in protest, nearly frying her nerves off. Walking wouldn’t be easy, but in the very least, she was able to keep her balance. She could ignore the pain for now.
Step by painful step, she limped down the hallway. Her pace was painstakingly slow; each second passed by about as slow as a century. The broken pieces of glass on the floor didn’t help much either, feeling like razor blades beneath her bare feet.
But eventually, she managed to reach her office. Clinging onto the door, she stepped inside and approached her desk. It was just how she left it: a couple pens scattered across its surface, a lamp near the corner, and a tape recorder sitting right in the middle.
She collapsed into the chair, giving her leg a break as she rewound the tape, listening to its contents from the start. She needed to know what had happened. She needed to know what He had done to her…
At first, she heard her own voice ring out cheerfully from the tape.
She remembered this first recording: it was from when she’d first started her internship at the hospital. She could practically feel the excitement bubbling through the tape. God, she was so happy back then. Where did that joyful girl she’d always known go….?
She went through a couple other recordings she’d made throughout her time working at the hospital. As she listened to the recordings, she reminisced on those times; everything was so much simpler back then.
God, she wished she could return to those times.
Then she reached the sixth recording. This one, she remembered all too clearly and for all the wrong reasons.
She’d recorded it not long after she’d seen Him…
She listened to her frantic breaths as she worriedly explained what that creature had told her.
His voice was still clear in her memory. What it had told her still lingered in her mind.
“You deserve to rot like the monster you know you are inside.”
She’d known what He wanted of her. And she was willing to accept whatever became of her if it meant keeping Lana safe.
But she’d be lying if she said she was satisfied with her choice in this matter. She never wanted any of this; she just wanted to ensure this monster never messed with Lana again. After all, she loved Lana; she loved her with her entire heart. She was willing to give her own life it it meant keeping Lana safe from Him…
But she tried to ignore those difficult feelings. She had to find out exactly what he’d made her into…
As the recording concluded, she noticed that there was one more.
One she didn’t remember recording.
Her finger anxiously hovered over the play button. As much as she needed answers, she hesitated. Was she really ready to know the truth?
Did she even want to know the truth…?
She took a breath, trying to compose herself. She had to find out eventually; it was better to rip that bandaid off now.
So she pressed play.
The sound of screams echoed out of the tape recorder. Screams of panic and fear. Accompanied by words brimming with terror:
“Help me!”
“She’s gone mad!”
And the entire time, her own shrilled, angry screams sounded out, like a dissonant harmony to theirs.
When the recording ended, and the screams went silent, she just sat there in shock. The final few missing memories flooded back into her mind, tearing down any barriers between her blissful ignorance and the stone hard facts.
After she’d made the panicked sixth recording, He appeared before her again. And this time, He didn’t speak. All He did a softly laugh to himself as His shadows flowed into her body, turning her into the monster which had wreaked havoc in the final recording.
And that was where it all had gone blurry.
She just sat there for awhile; she had no clue what to think. She was the very one who’d created all the carnage in the halls. She was the reason this place was now abandoned.
He made her a monster, just as he said he would.
Tears stung in her eyes. She’d been willing to accept becoming a monster for Lana’s sake. It was a price she was willing to pay.
Sure, she’d known what that entailed. She knew that once she’d been transformed into a monster, she’d be a merciless creature with no control over her own actions. Just like what Lana had described happening to her parents.
She didn’t fully grasp what that would actually be like. To her, she’d thought that becoming the monster would be the equivalent of her own death.
But after hearing all the panic and fear she’d spread… when she couldn’t have done anything to stop herself… she was shaken.
What if she hurt someone?
What if she killed someone?
God, that thought horrified her. She didn’t even want to think about that possibility.
But now… she was free, wasn’t she?
She moved her fingers, rejoicing the feeling of each movement they made.
She was in control again.
She was no longer a monster.
Slowly, her mind drifted back to Lana. Where was she now? Was she alright?
How long had it even been since Lana had left…?
She pulled herself out of the chair, much the the dismay of her leg, which sent a fresh wave of pain her way.
She had to find Lana… she had to make sure she was okay…
She needed to know if the girl she loved, who she sacrificed her own existence for, was even still alive…
*****
Valentine’s Day was always a somber day for Lana. Seeing all the happy couples together made her heart ache, as the only thing they reminded her of was the person she left behind long ago…
She stared down at the photo of her and Julie in her hands.
After she’d been sent off to the hospital for who knew how long, she’d felt like her life had completely shattered into pieces.
Julie had been one of the only lights in her life during her stay there.
Sure, the hospital sucked. But Julie always tried to make Lana’s stay at least a little better. She’d sneak her snacks from the vending machines, bring her books to read, and one day even brought her a vase of flowers to decorate her room.
Just talking to Julie enough able to brighten her entire day. Julie was always so cheerful and optimistic. She’d gladly talk to Lana about anything for hours.
Sure, Lana was stuck in the hospital.
But with Julie, she was never alone.
She’d always had a bit of a crush on Julie. How could she not? She was so beautiful, and her laughter was the most precious sound of all…
But who knew if Julie even felt the same way back?
It wasn’t like Lana could ever find out. Ever since she’s left the hospital, she hadn’t seen Julie ever since.
Had Julie forgotten about her? Had she abandoned her like everyone else in her life?
Lana sighed, putting down the photos and getting out of her chair. She needed a break; she couldn’t dwell on her childhood crush forever. Besides, she’d only known Julie for around a year at most.
So then why did her heart long for someone who she knew was out of reach?
Looking out a nearby window, she noticed how dark or had gotten outside. She should probably make herself some dinner.
But before she could make it to her kitchen, she heard frantic knocks at her door.
“Who is it?” She called out, curious. She hadn’t been expecting anyone; she always preferred spending Valentine’s Day alone.
There was no answer. Just another round of knocking.
“Ugh, fine, I’m coming. Hold on a moment,” Lana muttered, scrambling down the stairs and to her front door. Who the hell was at her door? She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now.
Before she opened she door, she got a glance of who it was through the peep hole to try and gauge whether she should even answer the door.
She stopped right in her tracks when she laid eyes upon the person standing out on her front porch.
She stepped back, rubbing her eyes in disbelief; this had to be a dream. This couldn’t possibly be real.
But another glance through the door proved it to be all to real.
That girl she remembered from years ago was standing outside.
She looked exactly as Lana remembered her. Donning a faded blue nurse’s uniform, deep red hair framing her face, and soft grayish-green eyes that shone, full of hope… it was unmistakably her.
Sure, she appeared to be a little older now. Unsurprisingly, since years had passed.
But she looked almost exactly as she had when they were both children. It was like she’d just been torn out of the past and plopped right into the present.
Immense joy flooded Lana’s heart. She couldn’t believe it; Julie had found her again.
She eagerly opened the door to speak to Julie face-to-face; she couldn’t wait to hear her beautiful voice again!
But she froze in place upon seeing the state that Julie was in.
Lana had noticed changes in Julie’s behavior during the last few months of her stay. Undoubtedly, it was because of Him. First, she began zoning out constantly, growing increasingly distant from the world around her with each passing day. Lana winced at the memory of when a fly had landed in Julie’s eye, she’d been zoned out so long. The eye was so irritated that Julie had to wear an eyepatch since then.
Over the next few months, things only got worse. Her skin grew pale, her eyes lost their usual shine.
Julie became a shell of the eager girl Lana once knew. Some days, Julie was vicious and borderline violent. And other days, she was silent and withdrawn.
Lana tried to chuck these changes up to other things. Julie probably just had other problems in her life; surely, she was just a little overwhelmed.
But deep down, Lana knew that He was behind this.
And clearly, things had gotten far worse since then. Julie’s outfit was tattered and torn. Her makeup was completely smudged. Her auburn hair was a matted mess.
And the moment Lana laid eyes on the state of Julie’s left leg, she immediately had to avert her eyes, the sight was so disturbing. The skin had been peeled away, leaving the bone completely exposed. It was a miracle the girl was even able to stand right now.
Had He possessed Julie too? Had He turned her into the monster, just as he had with Lana’s parents?
But if so, then why was Julie free now…?
“Oh my God…” Lana muttered, “Julie, you…” she didn’t know how to even start. God, what was she even supposed to say? Was Julie even aware of the state she was currently in?
Did she even know how long it had been…?
“Lana,” Julie said, almost in a whisper. A hopeful light lit up her eye, and a small smile appeared on her face. “I’ve missed you…”
Lana anxiously stepped forwards. She wanted nothing more than embrace the girl, bury herself deep in her arms.
But she held herself back; she couldn’t fall into her own desires quite yet.
“I’m glad I found you again,” Julie added in a weak, trembling voice. That was when her knees buckled beneath her, and she collapsed, unable to hold herself upright any longer. Quickly, Lana caught her, keeping a tight grip on the girl to keep her from toppling over.
Lana’s mind was racing and her heart beat madly in her chest as she stared down as the unconscious Julie. Everything had happened so fast. One moment she was merely staring at a photo of Julie, and now she was holding Julie in her arms.
She unconsciously began stroking Julie’s dark red hair in an attempt to soothe her worry. Despite seemingly countless years of neglect, Julie’s hair still felt soft in her fingertips. She gently ran her fingers through the tangles, deep in thought.
Somehow, Julie had found her way back to her.
Despite everything, the two had been reunited again.
Perhaps their destinies weren’t meant to be split apart after all…
But there were bigger matters to deal with before anything else. First, Lana had to help the poor girl. Who knew just what she’d been through? Lana had to do at least something to help.
So carefully, Lana dragged Julie back inside. Long ago, Julie had taken care of her. And now, it was her turn to take care of Julie.
*****
All she could see was darkness.
Darkness in every direction.
And it was silent. Eerily silent, like the hospital had been not long ago.
But slowly, she began to drift back into reality.
At first, she began to feel soft bedsheets cushioning her body. Followed by the feeling of something being wrapped around her leg.
Then she could hear a voice humming nearby. The voice was familiar. She’d heard it before, but where…?
And when she finally opened her eyes, she found herself laying on a bed in an unfamiliar room.
“What…” she started, voice trembling as she blinked away her drowsiness, “Where am I?”
“Don’t worry,” came a sweet, reassuring voice from above. As soon as the sound entered her ears, it soothed any nerves in her body. “I’m right here for you. It’ll be alright.”
Immediately, she recognized who the voice belonged to. She craned her head to look at the source of the voice, just to make sure it was true. That it was…
“Lana,” she said weakly.
Lana placed a gentle hand on Julie’s shoulder; it felt warm and comforting against her skin.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Lana assured her, “I’m going to make sure you’re okay.”
Looking up at Lana, Julie took in what she looked like. Lana looked a little older now. She was taller, wore her her in a loose bun, and had clearly grown into her features. But those soft eyes and sweet smile… they were unmistakable.
“It’s you,” Julie murmured, smiling to herself. “It’s really you…”
The last few moments before she’d passed out were a blur in her mind. She faintly remembered her reunion with Lana, but her mind was completely foggy, she was so exhausted from pain. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Lana was nothing more than a hallucination created to soothe her panicked brain.
But now she could see Lana clearly. God, it was her. It was really her…
She was with Lana again.
It was almost like they were destined to find each other again…
After leaving the hospital’s premises, Julie had wandered the streets aimlessly for hours. She must’ve looked crazy, walking around alone in a dingy nurse uniform. Countless times, the people she passed by would look at her with concern. And who could really blame them? While she hadn’t gotten the chance to look at herself yet, she knew that she was probably a huge mess.
Slowly, Julie sat herself upright, looking down at herself.
God, she was even more of a mess than she thought. Her nurse uniform was disgusting, all torn up at the seams and stained with who knows what. She wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be stained with blood.
Slowly, her eyes drifted to her leg, which was wrapped up in a thick layer of bandages.
Pain still lingered in her leg; it burned far hotter than it had back in the hospital. Probably because she’d pushed herself way too far with walking, but at this point she barely even cared anymore. Her only focus was finding Lana. She needed to know if Lana was even still alive.
Julie tried to move her leg, trying to gauge how bad it was.
“Careful,” Lana quickly warned her, placing a hand down on the make-shift cast “Don’t move your leg. It’s not in the best shape right now.”
“I figured,” Julie muttered, “Just how bad is it?”
Lana paused for a short moment, as if to find the correct words to say, before she answered, “I’m… not quite sure you want to know… I think you’d be pretty horrified seeing the state it’s in.”
“I’m a nurse,” Julie interjected, “I’ve probably seen worse.”
“Okay, maybe you have,” Lana admitted, “But it’s still pretty bad. I had to make a splint to hold it in place until we can get someone more qualified to look at it.”
“Funny,” said Julie with a teasing grin, “I used to be your nurse, and now it’s almost like you’re mine.”
“I suppose so,” Lana smiled back, “I’m no good at it though. You don’t even want to know how many tries in took me the get the bandages tight enough. I’m a nail tech, not a nurse.”
“Damn, you’re a nail tech?” Julie asked curiously. God, she’d really missed a lot.
“Yeah,” Lana said with a soft laugh, “I needed some way to make money to pay off the hospital bills. As much as my family tried insisting that it wasn’t a big deal, thousands of dollars of medical debt is kinda a big deal.”
“Tell me about it,” Julie said. She’d seen plenty of patients receiving bills of hundreds or even thousands during her time interning at the hospital. Lana wasn’t quite alone in this issue.
“It’s a nice job though,” Lana continued, “Well, certain life stuff gets in the way sometimes. Even now, problems still linger in my life from the very things that sent me to that hospital. But I’d say I’m happy with the way things are now. Even if it’s difficult, I’m getting through it. Sometimes, that’s just the way things are.”
As Lana spoke, Julie’s mind flashed back to the shadow creature that had possessed her.
The same creature that Lana had described haunting her…
“It’s that shadow creature, isn’t it…?” Julie asked slowly, which caught Lana off guard “What’s His name again?”
Lana was silent for a moment before she answered, “Agamemnon. I tried telling you a little about Him, I remember, but you never entirely believed me. You always thought He was nothing more than a hallucination.” She let out a sigh before concluding her statement, “Just like everyone else, you thought I was crazy…”
Julie remembered that. She’d never exactly believed Lana, no matter how much Lana had insisted that He was real.
Now, Julie regretted ever having doubts. Now, she knew that He was far too real. And if she’d just listened to Lana in the first place, maybe things could’ve turned out different…
“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Julie began, keeping her gaze low, “I’m sorry I did in the past. But… I saw Him.”
Lana mouth was agape. “You did…?”
Julie weakly nodded, softly lowering her head. “He… He appeared to me. He told me that I was going to suffer. That it was all your fault. And…”
Tears misted in her eyes and she croaked out, “He… turned me into a monster. A merciless monster that wreaked havoc without any control. I let Him do whatever he wanted with me, believing that if I gave into His wishes, He’d leave you alone…”
Her voice caught in her throat. “I just wanted to protect you, Lana. I wanted to keep you safe…”
Lana was stunned. She kept opening her mouth to try and respond, only for the words the never come out.
“How long has it even been…?” Julie asked reluctantly.
Lana was hesitant. “Are you sure you want to know?”
Julie nodded.
Lana took a breath. “It’s been over a decade since I was discharged, Julie.”
Those words hit Julie like a stone.
“A decade…?” She asked, heart pounding in her chest. She’d lost over a decade of her life? That creature had taken a good chunk of her life away from her, just like that…?
Tear began streaming from her eyes.
This couldn’t be true… it couldn’t!
It couldn’t have possibly been that long!
But looking back up at Lana’s face only proved it to be even more true. Lana had grown up; she had to be around 27 or 28 by now.
She was no longer the young teenage girl that Julie remembered; now she was an adult.
“No…” Julie began, “No no no, it can’t be, no…”
She buried her face in in her hands. “This can’t be real. None of this can be real!” One moment, she’d been an intern at the hospital, willing to give her own life for the one she loved. But now? She was a fucking mess.
“No…” she went on, “No, this can’t be true, no no no no no…”
Half her life was just gone, and all because of that stupid Agamemnon.
“Julie, are you okay…?” Lana began, reaching out a hand.
Julie could hardly formulate words at this point, she was such a sobbing mess. The little she tried to mutter in response was obscured by uncontrollable sobbing.
Not only had she been turned into a monster, not only had she possibly been hurting or even killing countless innocent people, but on top of all that, she’d lost over a decade of her life!
She’d had her whole life planned out ahead of her. She was going to attend nursing school. She was going to receive a nursing degree and move onto working professionally in the field.
But that dream was shattered now. The entire future she had planned for herself was gone.
She didn’t even want to begin to think about all the life events she missed out on: her 18th birthday, her high school graduation, her freshman year of college…
All of that was gone now.
“Julie,” Lana whispered, softly running a hand through her hair. Even though the feeling of Lana’s fingers running through her hair did little to comfort her, the slight tug on her scalp managed to bring back to reality, “I’m sorry all this happened, I truly am. I tried to warn you, but I wasn’t clear enough… and now you’re suffering, and it’s all because of me. This is my fault.”
Julie thought back on that creature’s words, how He claimed that she was going to suffer and that it was Lana’s fault.
But Lana had no choice in this… she didn’t deserve this!
“No,” Julie said in a trembling voice, “Lana, this isn’t your fault. This was never your fault. Please, stop blaming yourself… please…”
“But everyone who’s ever known me has suffered somehow,” Lana said, “First my parents, now you…”
“That’s not you fault, though,” Julie managed, “It’s His fault, not yours. Besides, I was willing to let Him possess me. I knew what He was going to do to me, and I didn’t even try to fight back because I knew that it was the only way I could protect you from Him. I chose this, and now I’m stuck with it.”
“You didn’t have to,” Lana said, eyes full of pain, “I’ve been able to handle Him just fine on my own… you didn’t need to save me. So why did you…?”
Julie felt her heart thud as she heard that question enter her ears. Did she really want to answer honestly? Was she going to finally admit it?
She didn’t even know whether Lana had even felt that way in the first place, let alone now, many years later.
Regardless, she felt compelled to admit what her heart had been screaming to say ever since she first met Lana.
“Because,” Julie said simply, turning her head to look Lana in the eyes, “I… loved you.”
Lana’s eyes widened in surprise.
“I did it because I loved you, Lana,” Julie repeated, feeling her cheeks grow warm, “And I still do. I love you, and I regret I never told you sooner…”
Julie closed her eyes, ashamed. Did she really just admit this? Oh God, what was she thinking? Even if Lana had felt the same way back then, it had been over a decade since then. She’d probably moved onto someone else by now.
And yet instead, Lana simply smiled, her cheeks a pinkish-red as she slowly admitted, “I didn’t know you felt the same way as I did…”
Slowly, Julie opened her eyes, looking at Lana in bewilderment. Lana looked back with the same expression. So her feeling of love was mutual… Lana felt the same exact way back…
“Everything I tried to tell you, that He was real, that you should quit… I said it all because I wanted to protect you from him,” Lana said shakily, her eyes misty, “I… I didn’t want to suffer because of me. I loved you, Julie, and I couldn’t bare see him ruin your life the same way he ruined mine…”
“And I was willing to sacrifice my own life to protect you from Him,” Julie added softly, “I didn’t want him to mess with you any longer. I wanted to end your suffering… I loved you, and I couldn’t let Him lead your life further into decay after you’d improved so much…”
Lana just laughed to herself. “I guess we’re not all that different then, huh?”
“I guess not,” Julie concluded, “All both of us wanted was to keep each other safe.”
A smile overcame Lana’s lips. “I suppose we truly were meant for each other.”
The next few moments were a blur. Lana placed her hands beneath Julie’s chin and carefully raised it up to her level.
As a child, Julie had always daydreamed about what her first kiss would be like. Would it be while strolling along a beach? Or while having a panic in a meadow? Or during a sunset?
But as her lips interlocked with Lana’s, she knew that this was better than any scenario she could’ve ever dreamed of.
When the two finally separated, Julie’s heart was fluttering. She couldn’t believed she’d actually just done this… that she’d actually just kissed the girl she’d loved, after years of keeping her feelings locked up inside.
Even if every obstacle had been thrown between the both of them, nothing was able to keep them apart.
And Julie knew that she’d never let anyone tear them apart again.