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It’s late in the evening when Callen hears a knock at his front door. Not expecting anyone he finds himself cautiously approaching the front door, gun in hand, peeking out the peephole. He is shocked to see Deeks on the other side of his door considering he just got cleared for murder. Surely, he would want to spend his first evening free with Kensi and his mother, right?
Carefully putting his gun down, he opens his front door and takes in the state of the tall blonde who is clearly exhausted and hanging on by a thread. He quickly ushers him in and directs him to his couch, something that he bought after the first time Marty appeared in a similar state yet he still used to time to rib him about his lack of furniture, before he hesitantly offers Deeks a beer, unsure if giving Marty alcohol in his current state is inherently wise, but he isn’t about to make the choice for him.
“I— uhh, no thank you.” He says running a hand through his hair. “I should apologize for coming by so late. It’s just my mother wouldn’t quit hovering, and Kensi, who is supposed to be my best friend, is being cold again. One minute I was standing in my kitchen listening to Kenzi and my mother talk about me like I wasn’t even there and the next thing I knew was that I was knocking on your front door. I– I needed space to breathe, but I also don’t want to be left alone I can’t remember the last time I truly slept, I cannot shut off my hypervigilance, and my body is still convinced I am in danger. I needed a safe space to shut off where the people around me are not actively making it worse.” He says with a long exhale as some of the tension he has been carrying around starts to leave his body, making the exhaustion even more prevalent.
While it’s not easy for G to picture a hovering mother figure, he can kind of relate. Sure the closest thing he has to a mother figure is Hetty and he would be pissed if she were talking about him like he wasn’t right there, so he can say without a doubt that he gets that. What he doesn’t get is Kensi; he has respected whatever it is going on in between them. If they thought they were hiding it, whatever it is they needed to do a better job around seasoned investigators. But it's hard standing back, watching, and not get annoyed with Kensi for her hot and cold games. Her on-again off-again care and support for her partner, best friend, and lover? Maybe?! Sure, G enjoys having Marty over, it’s not something you will ever hear him complain about. Especially if these random late-night visits are all he will ever get he intends to selfishly relish in every moment he can with Marty. But it doesn’t make it easier to see Marty begging for Kensi’s attention and only receiving it on her terms. Marty would never have to beg G for his attention, unless it was a kinky game that they both enjoyed.
He stifles a sigh of irritation, realizing he had been lost in thought for too long leaving room for Deeks’s self-doubt to creep in he makes a choice. It’s far more intimate that what he would normally do any other time Deeks came by but the circumstances feel different enough plus he doesn’t want to hide his affection for the man any longer. And so, he kneels down in front of Marty and gently cups his chin to direct him to make eye contact he smiles at him before stating “I don’t mind when you come over regardless of the time. You are always welcome day or night and you're always more than welcome to crash here.” He says reassuringly.
“I just– I don’t know if I can sleep, I barely slept when I was locked up and now, I am both too wired and too tired.” Marty says trying and failing to hold back a jaw cracking yawn. “It’s quite the conundrum,” he adds tiredly.
“Alright, let me lock up and we will go up and get you settled in for the night.” Callen declares. Before heading off to the front door locking it and putting his gun away properly before double checking the back door and circling back around to the living room. He leads Marty up the stairs and is relieved to see no hesitation coming from him. It’s not like it is the first time that Deeks has been in his home, or in his bed with G sleeping on his bedroll in the next room over allowing Deeks comfort at a distance and the space he desired. But it’s the first time that Callen has started blurring lines and wasn’t sure how they would be received.
It’s clear when Deeks all but collapsed on the end of G’s bed that he is fading fast, nearly falling asleep while making a half-hearted attempt to remove his shoes. G, being well versed in this level of exhaustion decided to offer his help. Receiving a quiet murmur of “please” from the blonde he makes quick work of removing his shoes, belt, and enticingly tight jeans before manhandling him under the covers and carefully laying him down. As he turns to turn off the bedroom light Marty grabs his wrist “Don’t go, please. I finally feel safe when you are near me.” he begs, fighting back tears and carefully avoiding eye contact.
G stoops down to caress Marty’s cheek, once more offering intimacy that he had ever allowed himself to engage in with Marty before, hoping that this gesture is actually comforting, and it must have been since Deeks happily leaned into the touch “I’m just turning off the lights Marty, I promise I will be right back. Okay?”
“Of course.” Marty says sleepily but not letting go of G’s wrist. G gives him a moment to see if he will let go, but it turns out a very sleepy Deeks is a very cute and clingy Deeks. Not that G could find it in himself to complain as this is information he is secretly happy to have knowledge of.
“Deeks, you’re going to have to let go of me so I can turn them off.” G explains while trying not to laugh. Marty eventually let’s go with a little more convincing, albeit reluctantly “hurry back” he murmurs. G quickly turns off the light and strips down to just his boxers before joining Marty in bed. He has barely laid down before Marty plasters himself to G’s side with his head resting on his chest, just above his heart.
“Is this ok?” Marty whispers as he snuggles in closer sighing contently.
“It’s more than ok” G declares before he presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Sleep, I will keep you safe. Wake me if you need anything at all, ok?”
“Mhmm” Marty hummed in affirmation which was quickly followed by a series of small adorable snores.
G, for the first time in a long time, quickly fell asleep as well. He avoided his usual nightmares and surprisingly managed to sleep for most of the night. When he wakes up, he is unsurprised to find that Marty has snuggled even closer to him in his sleep. He tries not to stare at the beautiful man as he sleeps, reminding himself that he needs to keep his feelings in check until he knows exactly where the blonde stands, but he can, and will silently, hope that they both want to give this a real shot. If not he needs to seize being overly affectionate because that isn’t fair to either of them.
Fearing that this might be the first and last time he gets to hold a sleeping Deeks he aims to commit every little detail to memory. From the way Marty’s body, his very male body, feels pressed up against him, to the way his facial hair feels against his chest when the blonde nuzzles in closer and the sense of peace he feels having the blonde in his arms. He loves the little snores and snuffles and wishes to catalog each and every sound. He notes every single freckle, and the way the early morning light hits his face just right. He finds himself mesmerized by just how peaceful and how much younger Marty appears in his sleep and finds it particularly amusing when the younger man's lips twitch into a half smile from time to time.
“You’re staring” Marty says with a sleepy smirk on his face, his eyes slowly fluttering open giving G the ability to see those brilliant blues.
“Do you want me to apologize?” G questions with a small guilty smile.
“Absolutely not, I like it, even if that sounds weird. Speaking of weird as anyone ever told you that you make a wonderful pillow? Because I will happily tell you again and again if your heart desires.” Marty says with a flirty smirk on his face, while still curled up against G.
G snorted and wrapped his arms a little tighter around the younger man before giving him a response. “No, I cannot say I have ever been told that, but I am glad you think so.”
“I don’t think so, I know so.” Marty whispers as he aimlessly traces shapes on G’s arm, still unwilling to move until G asks him too, ever so thankful that they have been granted today off unless something big comes up and he plans to take advantage of every second off, starting by not leaving G’s embrace.
“Do you have anywhere you need to be or anything you need to do today?” G asks quietly while stroking a hand up and down Marty’s back, he cannot help but touch until it is forbidden again, but it seems like Deeks is doing the same so maybe, just maybe he didn’t fuck up by being extra, for them, affectionate last night.
“Nope, nothing to do, nowhere to be. I am right where I want to be.” Marty explains as he props himself up on his elbow to look down at G, still tracing random shapes with his free hand that’s currently resting on G’s ribs when the insecurity starts to creep in. “I wouldn’t mind spending the day with you if you don’t mind having me in your space all day. I feel safe here, you make me feel safe. You never leave me second guessing myself around you, you say what you mean or you clarify immediately if you realize that you were unclear initially. You don’t play mind games, nor do you expect me to read your mind. I know I kinda just threw myself at you last night but you– you took it in stride, you didn’t make me feel bad for taking what I need. I have never slept as well as I did last night wrapped up in the safety of your embrace.” He suddenly pauses—hand stilling, when he realized that he had been rambling. But much to his relief, Callen seems to adore his rambling, if the small smile on his face is anything to go by.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
G cannot help but adore how nervously-honest Marty gets when he rambles, it’s not something he is typically the recipient of, but he knows if he wants to continue being a safe space for Marty that he needs to squash what he can of his fears and insecurities immediately. He knows that Deeks is incredibly vulnerable right now so he needs to choose his words very carefully, avoid empty platitudes and refrain from anything resembling a promise he cannot keep, while also being steady and reassuring.
He moves carefully, rolling Marty on to his back and propping himself up on his elbow, he finds Marty staring off into space, too nervous to look at him. G gets why he is nervous, he would be too if the rolls were reversed but he wants him to be able to see the sincerity on his face when he speaks from his heart, when he lets some of his vulnerability show.
“Marty, look at me please.” he requests softly He can see the war going on in Marty’s head, torn between trusting him or letting his insecurities win, so he waits patiently to see if he is asking for too much. He is overwhelmingly relieved when Marty does finally look at him, establish eye contact with so much trust shining in those brilliant blues. He cannot help but softly smile as he gently caresses the side of Deeks face. When Deeks happily leans into the touch he finds his smile growing bigger. He knows without a doubt that he wants to keep this adorable sunshine-personified man in his life, if he can keep him in his house, in his bed, and win his heart to he would, without a doubt, be the happiest man in the world.
“Of course you can stay here, you can stay here today, tomorrow, next month, and anytime in between if you wish. If you want me to stay beside you all day long all you have to do is ask. I am glad you feel safe here and with me, I would hate it if I made you feel unsafe. So, I need you to promise me something, if I ever make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable I need you to tell me so I can fix it and avoid ever doing it again. Do you think you can do that for me?” G asks, waiting with bated breath while he waits for Deeks to answer. Fortunately, he isn’t left waiting long before Marty timidly whispers “Yeah, I can do that”, much to his relief.
“Thank you, and for the record, I don’t care if you ‘throw yourself at me’, if you want or need me to sleep beside you or hold you so you can I will happily provide you that comfort. Bad day? Come find me. Good day? You are still welcomed here with open arms. A day that you're just annoyed with the world? Come to me and I will help you however you need. You don’t have to navigate life on your own anymore if you don’t want to, and you shouldn’t have to play games or read minds to get the support you need. I would be honored to take on some of your burdens, or at least help you through them if you would let me.”
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
“That–” he pauses searching for the correct words, what even are the correct words when someone is offering everything you ever dreamed of. But it’s not just someone, it’s G Callen of all people. The one that I have wanted to have my back, heart, and soul ever since our first op together. Sure, everyone assumes I am head over heels for Kensi and I play into that because being a ‘queer’ cop isn’t always welcomed, and I have had enough crooked partners via LAPD to know better than to play with my fate like that. It doesn’t matter that I am technically bisexual, the second I date a man I will be “that gay cop” to the rest of the precinct and can kiss my guaranteed backup goodbye.
But would I have to worry about lack of back up if I finally take Hetty up on her offer to become a NCIS agent, instead of an LAPD liaison? Would anyone at NCIS care if I was dating a man, not just a man but G? Sam is the only one that I think would have a problem with it, or he would make it weird without “meaning too”, or be vaguely bigoted towards me. He wouldn’t do it to G though, hopefully he wouldn’t want to risk the wrath of an angry G so he would be mindful, one can hope so anyways. I am sure Hetty is well aware of my infatuation with her pseudo son if her all-knowing looks are anything to go by when I so much as mentioned his name, especially the last time he went rogue– when I tried, and failed, to diplomatically recommend he shouldn’t be fighting the latest angry Comescu alone. Apparently, I am a little too obvious, to her anyways. Suddenly realizing that I have been lost in my head for a tad longer than I meant to, and that G is anxiously waiting for a answer, I rush to give him ime.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
“That sounds too good to be true I— I don’t know if I can ask you to do that.” Marty says with his voice full of longing and hesitation written all over his face.
“Well, you’re not asking, I am offering, and I wouldn’t make an offer or promise to you that I couldn’t or didn’t intend to keep. You deserve at least that much, and so, so much more. I would love to show you everything you deserve, to cherish you-- until you get tired of me.” Callen says a bit self-consciously.
The thing is they have never talked about the nights that Deeks arrives at his house after close or triggering calls, needing a person and place that made him feel safe. A person to be near who didn’t expect him to talk it out but would listen if needed, and G happily allows him the space and a listening ear that he needs, while trying to squash the butterflies that erupt every time Marty seeks him out instead of any number of other people. Yet he still doesn’t really know why he is sought out at all, no matter how much he selfishly wishes he was the only person that Marty came to when in need he can’t help but doubt if he is really the person for the job.
He doesn’t know how long he was lost in his own head but he is pulled out of his spiraling thoughts by Deeks’s hand gliding up his arm before capturing his wrist holding it gently in order to ground him. And if that gesture wasn’t sweet enough, he then moved his head just enough to kiss G’s palm with a sweet smile on his face as he kept eye contact.
“G, baby, I could never, ever tire of you. When my world is in shambles, and I don’t know which way is up I find myself looking for you. When we have had a particularly rough day I goof off a little more to try to get you to smile, even if it’s just for a second, because seeing you smile makes my world just a little brighter. Believe it or not, you have a special little smile that graces your face when you’re trying not to laugh at me, it one of my favorites.” He can’t help but grin because he made G blush the prettiest blush he has ever seen. With a quick-gentle squeeze to G’s wrist he continues with his reassurances.
“I know everyone thinks I have a thing for Kensi but that has never been the case, she just covers for me because my true attraction has always been to you. It’s always you. Has always been you, and no one else even comes close. I should have made this clear when I first appeared on your doorstep when you finally got back from Mexico, but at the time I was just so worried about seeing you and making sure that you were truly ok that all other thought went out the window.” He explains with a shy smile, he knows it all needed to be said, but yet he still worries that he might have said too much. But G has a pleased smirk on his face, one that could only mean trouble, and Deeks is all to happy to see what he might have in store.
“You’re telling me I could have asked you out for Valentines Day all along?” he says in a teasing tone.
“I thought about asking if you had any plans that night, but I didn’t know how you would have responded so I chickened out and went to the beach and watched the sun set with Monty.” Deeks says sheepishly.
“So, are you going to chicken out this time if I ask to kiss you?” G asks with a challenging smirk.
Deeks smiles back while he removes his hand from Callen’s wrist and gently caress his face, “Please kiss me G.” Marty whispers.
G happily obliges the request, moving his hand to the back of Marty’s head, running his fingers through his hair as their lips lock for the first time. It’s a delicate dance, one that Deeks melts into and Callen leads. Neither of them has ever had a first kiss this perfect, it’s somehow everything they have dreamed of and so much more. They break apart when oxygen becomes necessary, G only pulls back far enough to see Marty’s entire face, from his blown pupils to his spit-slick kiss-swollen lips.
“Was that, ok?” G asks, as if the desire written all over Marty’s face wasn’t clear enough.
“It was better than what I ever imagined.” Deeks says dreamily.
“Good, because there is more from where that came from.” And that is all the warning Deeks gets before G is kissing him like a starved man, not that he has the functional braincells to complain about it. But the pace quickly changes from frantic to soft sweet leisurely-paced kisses. As G’s hand wanders up under Marty’s shirt, he can’t help but groan at the skin-to-skin contact, but it’s not enough. Incapable of full sentences he growls out an “off” and Marty sits up allowing him to pull of the offending shirt. Neither of them is in a rush for anything more, they have waited this long for kisses, the ability to touch, and to admire freely and they plan to use their time wisely, before work comes calling.
The End