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“It’s okay kiddo, just one step further, alright?” His father waited, arms outstretched just a few yards in front of him.
“You said that last step,” Conner whined, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“I know, I know, but just one more, and that’s it, you can do one more step can’t you?”
Conner took another step.
“Good, now just one more, that’s all you have to do,”
Conner needed the pain to stop.
His leg dragged heavily, lightning hot pain with every step. 2 stories was an agonizingly long fall. On the good days he could use the slightest bit of pressure to limp. But when he hit the ground he wished it hadn’t been so short. Today was not a good day, the days had been getting progressively worse.
He knew stealing was wrong, ‘it only leads to trouble’ his mother would say, but she wasn’t here now and she hadn’t been for a long time. No one had.
“You can’t have it!” He screamed at them through an already bloody throat.
‘The world’s changed’ she said, much more recently than any of the other things she taught. Said when a man was banging on the door and begging for help, Conner reminded her that they were always supposed to help others. ‘The worlds changed,’ she said, and she was right.
He had no one to take care of him anymore, that was the hardest change. His leg was the second hardest, a swollen mass of darkened bruise that didn’t quite sit at the right angle. He laid there for hours, waiting for someone to come pick him up. It was aided only slightly by his hand fashioned ‘splint’. It hurt to move, so the only course of action was to stop it from moving. He’d duct taped pieces of wood to stop it from doing just that. It was far from perfect- he couldn’t do it himself -still shifting in ways Conner didn’t know how to fix.
But now he did.
The aid was dangling right there. He’d spotted a man carrying a white box with a Red Cross. It drew him in with memories of kisses on his cuts and things that made the pain not so bad. All he had to do was take it.
His footsteps were muted against the pavement. Long since had his foot grown too swollen to fit in his shoe, so they were left behind. It hurt at first, but it was quieter, and his feet learned how to ‘grow a pair’ as his uncle would say.
The next house seemed so close, so he jumped.
Once the pavement turned to flooring, he dropped to his hands and knees. His breath was light and unsteady as his ears strained for sign of the man he saw. Conner shuffled backwards until the backs of his feet ran out of roof. His brain forced away the thoughts of what might happen if he was caught.
“if you keep running I might just put a bullet between those eyes,”
The white box was easy enough to spot, a shining beacon in this dark world. Goosebumps ran down his arms as he beelined for it, lungs tightening in anticipation.
As his hands closed around the white box, he finally felt able to breathe again. For a moment he felt so weightless. He doted on just taking the whole thing, but his heart seized at the thought of robbing another from stopping their pain. No, he’d take what he needed and nothing more.
The bandage was easy enough to recognize, familiar from that time he burned his hand when trying to help his mother with cooking. Everything else was gibberish to his eyes, creams and ointments with names too long for him to even begin to break down. He just grabbed the yellow one, his favorite color, Ne-o-spor-in.
Conner was halfway through stuffing the stolen goods into his pockets when a hand gripped at his shirt and yanked him up by the collar clean off the ground.
His parents would know he needed them. They’d come. He just had to need them hard enough.
“That doesn’t belong to you.” A voice growled from above him. “Your mommy and daddy have you taking for them?”
Conner couldn’t answer, the sudden jerking popped his leg back out of place and all he could do was cry. Pain he didn’t know possible erupted from his leg, bones not where they’re supposed to be and no longer in one piece. The man set him back down, but all that did was crush his misaligned bones back together. He didn’t stay conscious for long after that.
Conner shuffled backwards until the backs of his feet ran out of roof. He looked at the dizzying drop below him, then back to the men who chased him up here.
“Come on pup, I want to let you live but if you keep running I might just put a bullet between those eyes.” A knife glinted in the sun in one hand, the other waiting in anticipation for Conner to try and run.
His eyes flitted between them like a cornered deer, bag of canned food clutched tightly to his chest. “You can’t have it!” He screamed at them through an already bloody throat.
The man who had been speaking nodded to the other, and they began to close in. Conner looked wildly for an escape but they were already too close.
He looked over the ledge, the next house seemed so close. If he couldn’t escape them entirely he could at least have more road to run on. He took a few steps closer, reveling in the triumph on their face knowing he wouldn’t let them win. Then he ran back and jumped.
For a moment he felt so weightless, time moved so slowly as the next roof drew closer, and the ones who wanted to hurt him got so far away. He was brave like everyone always told him to be. The wind carried him upwards, like his father had just thrown him up and was ready to catch him again. To laugh and to hold him, even if just for the weekend. Even if goodbye was always too soon. Then all at once, time resumed and he was falling all too fast.
His shoulder slammed the wall, and he could only scramble for purchase on the jutting bricks as he tumbled down. 2 stories was an agonizingly long fall but when he hit the ground he wished it hadn’t been so short. The ground wasn’t there to comfort or protect this time, just to bruise him when he fell. But it stayed to cradle him as he didn’t get up again.
He’d have screamed if he had any wind left in his lungs, pain he didn’t know possible erupted from his leg. Bones not where they’re supposed to be and no longer in one piece. All he could do was lie in the dumpster.
He remained there for hours, until the sunlight outside vanished then returned once more. Waiting for someone to come pick him up, he couldn’t do it himself. His parents would know he needed them and they’d come, he just had to need them hard enough. He just had to wait a little longer for them to find him.
Conner awoke to the crackle of a fire, he shifted as he tried to gather his thoughts and figure out where he was.
“You’re up,” A voice called from his right. Conner instinctively froze, squeezing his eyes shut to pretend to still be asleep. “Don’t play me for a fool boy, I know you’re not asleep.”
Conner slowly sat up, bracing for the pain that came with every shift of his leg. It was still there, yes, but far more muted than it ever had been. He peered at the white plaster covering his leg, going from his foot all the way to his knee. He knew he needed to apologize, he’d been caught stealing and that was wrong. But the man had hurt him back, so he also had to apologize too. It evened out, probably.
“Try not to move that too much, I’m not sure the plaster is all the way set.” The man took a can of beans and slid it towards Conner. “Eat. You’re skin and bones.”
“Who are you?” Conner asked warily, but didn’t resist the food.
“Should be asking you the same thing, I mean you’re the one who’s sticky fingers found my pockets. Don’t think I didn’t know what you were doing.” He picked up his own can and continued eating.
“I just wanted the hurt to stop, sir.” Conner shrunk, clutching the can close so it couldn’t be taken from him. “I didn’t mean.. I didn’t want to..”
“You never answered me before, where’s your parents? Shouldn’t they be the ones taking care of you?”
“My daddy went away a long time ago, and my mommy fell asleep after she broke the car on a tree, it’s just been me for..” he began to count on his fingers, but couldn’t count past the first hand. “A long time..”
The mans gaze shifted, no longer looking at him but through him. Conner recognized the haunted look. The one his mother had after his father stopped coming home again. The one scavengers had when their friends fell and didn’t get up again.
Death, they called it.
He was beginning to realize it wasn’t just a sleep, but a sleep that they didn’t wake up from again.
“It’s.. it’s been me for a long time too.” The man sighed softly.
Conner opened his mouth to ask if the man could explain it, what death was and why it hurt so bad. But the man stood and began to speak.
“We should get moving.. How about you come with me for a little while?” He said, voice an unpracticed gentleness. “I can keep feeding you, and maybe we can get you to some survivor encampment.”
Conner looked down at his leg, dreading the thought of walking. “I don’t wanna walk, it hurts.”
The man considered him for a moment. “You got a name, son?”
“Conner.”
“Nice to meet you Conner, my name’s Wayne.”
The man, Wayne, took Conners outstretched hand and pulled him to his feet. “Stand here a second,” he mumbled as he picked his pack up, situating it to his front.
The warmth that radiated from a simple handshake stuck with him even after Wayne pulled away. Conner cradled the hand close, wanting to savor the little comfort he thought he’d never feel again.
Staring past the floor, he looked to his not-so-painful leg. He recognized the plaster now as a cast. His father had worn one once, when Conner was visiting for the weekend. A blue cast that covered his wrist. Conner got to draw all over it, and cried when his father took it off, seeing all his drawings go to waste.
“Can I get a yellow cast?” He asked the man.
Wayne raised an eyebrow, “Don’t think they make yellow wall plaster kid.” he kneeled down, pulling Conner onto his back.
“My leg still hurts.” his hands clutched Wayne’s shirt, leaning his chin on the man’s shoulder.
“Yeah, it will for a while, maybe we can find markers though. Do you like drawing?”
Conners chatter filled the silent streets as Wayne walked on.
Conner finally reached his father, falling into his arms tiredly. Weightless as he was lifting off the ground and put into the car.
“You made it all the way up and down the hike, aren’t you so proud?”
“Why couldn’t you just carry me?”
“Because I wanted to show you even when you wanna give up, you can still keep going kiddo, you’re so much stronger than you know,” He buckled Conner into the car seat and got into the drivers seat. “Now, you ready to get back to mama’s house?”