Chapter Text
in the beginning kayla created the twitter and the nation. and kayla said “LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!” AND IT WOULD BE LIGHT!!!!!!
kayla decided that plants shall be. She put people on the planet his Name was CallumPoe callumpoe had a big cyst. He gave burth out of his rib. Now there is a Raven Ray.
they play all Day. CallumPoe Goes to the orchard with Eve. Then adam says “what did the tomato say to the mushroom? You seem like a fungi! ill ketchup with you later!!!!” The Twin Snake was Evil and THE DEVIL (my headcanon) THE DEVIL told eve to eat the apple and he Did beeeecause The devil tricked him. Then kayla cursed them and the snake.
Then Noah made a big boat and brought all the dinosaurs on. Then it flooded piss. for 44 days and 45 nights! THEN NOAH SHAGGED HIS WHOLE FAMILY. then kayla promised to never flood with piss again.
timeskip
MOSES PART THE RED SEA
THEN ELIJAH GAVE BIRTH TO JESUS. AND CATHOLICS LOVED ELIJAH!!!!!!!!!!!! then jesus was gods son. and was sent through mary.
Jesus made a blind man see by throwing dirt in his eyes. After that He said “LET THERE BE BREAD AND FISH” and there WAS BREAD AND FISH!!!!!! then they had the last supper.
ABRAHAM had to bring his son up a mountain to sacrifice him but kayla stopped him. because kayla was just kidding.
Imbored beat up CallumPoe and crucified him because he had a beef with jesus because he feared callums power over twitter and then nation.
After jesus died imbored felt so so bad and killed themself. then jesus was put in a toilet paper roll in a tomb. for 3 days. then HE CAME BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!!!! and walked the day for 7 days as a free trial. then he went home and everything else happened