Chapter Text
Where… Am I?
Agoti felt so tired. Every muscle in his body felt mismatched with one another, even the feeling of walking became tedious. He had zero clue of where he was going. Home? He hoped so.
Stupid manager… Keeping me locked up, not letting me sleep…
Sleep. That’s why everything felt like such a hassle. Lack of sleep. He hadn’t slept in a week or so, from what the reminding brain power he had left could tell him.
Great… Everything was a bit of a blur. And what was the time even? It seemed to be dark out. Is there anywhere he could go? A motel for the night would be nice. He tried to focus as best as he could, feeling his surroundings and the steps he took.
I can feel concrete, so I must be on a path. But where? He glanced up, seeing buildings and shops through his blurry vision.
The tall one looks like a motel or apartment of some sort… Maybe I can stop there… He trudged over to the front doors, almost stumbling on his ankles. He opened it and saw the ground floor between his fading line of sight. There was nobody else there except for him. No staff. No one was at reception. Just him.
As he felt the soft carpet underneath his shoes, a wave of tiredness washed over him like a tsunami. The lack of sleep had suddenly caught up to Agoti. His body shuddered, and he collapsed onto the floor, passing out instantly.
It was definitely an interesting sight to see. But at least nobody was there to disturb him as he finally, finally managed to get some shut eye for once in the past week.
Or so he thought…
Tabi couldn’t really sleep. Him getting some proper rest felt like a difficult task, especially when you’re accompanied with nightmares almost every time you fall asleep. He texted Aldryx earlier, seeing if talking to a friend would help him calm his nerves and finally drift off, but he hadn’t responded, leaving him on read.
Asshole… The ex-musician thought begrudgingly. He might be out drinking or something. Or sleeping. Or doing whatever he does. I don’t know. He sometimes never tells me what he’s up to.
He needed fresh air. Taking a small walk outside might help. And maybe just a tiny bit of alcohol… Tabi stood up and stretched until his body shuddered. He yawned and unlocked his door, not being stopped by Mila who was passed out on the couch, curled up on-top of his hoodie.
Silly little kitten… He thought lovingly. He didn’t know how old she was, but she looked about a year. And she was insanely fluffy too. He’d wake up with white fur all over him sometimes.
Guess she sheds more than me, heh. Tabi himself had a bit of fur due to some after effects of his curse. It was dark like his hair, having patches of it on his outer thighs and shoulder blades. He didn’t mind it, but the brown hairs he found lying around his apartment were crazy. The ex-composer didn’t even know it was possible to shed that much hair. Even though he shaved it down as much as he could, he’d still find hair after hair after hair.
I mean, what do I expect? I’m a hybrid now after all. It’s not gonna stop-
Tabi suddenly stopped in his tracks and his thoughts came to a halt as he stepped out onto the ground floor. There was someone lying there motionless on the carpet.
What the hell? He slowly went over, eyes focusing in the pitch black darkness. And as his vision became familiar with his surroundings…
“Agoti?”
It was Aldryx’s little brother lying there. But why was he here? At Tabi’s apartment complex of all places? Not a motel or his own home?
Should I call Al? No, he’s probably drunk and I don’t wanna bother him… But this is brother. I feel I should let him know and come pick him up… But it’s so late… And I still down have the money for a car so I can’t drop him off even if I fucking wanted to, which I do… What should I do?
Well, maybe not leaving him lying on the carpet should be number one priority. He went over and picked him up carefully, then put the digidevil on his back. He could hear him snoring quietly, and felt his slow heartbeat against his spine. Agoti was knocked out for sure.
He seems tired. When did he last sleep? I’ll ask tomorrow. If he wakes up tomorrow. Tabi headed back over to the elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor. It moved up slowly, then beeped gently. He walked down the hall and opened his door, glancing back behind him to make sure the man on his back was still asleep.
Yep. Like a log. Now, where to put him?
He looked around his little apartment room. He could put him on the couch, but that didn’t feel right.
Guess I could give him my bed. It’s not like I use it much anyway. He opened the door to his bedroom and gently placed him down on the mattress. The digidevil let out a little noise of contentment as Tabi brought the blanket over his shoulders.
“Mmnn…” He rolled over, and the ex-musician could see his tail fall off the edge of his small bed, swishing back and forth happily.
“Hm,” Tabi murmured. He left, leaving the door open just a little bit as he went over to his couch and sank down onto it.
I should text Aldryx and let him know I have Agoti. He grabbed his phone off his coffee table, quickly sending the older digidevil a message.
[Hey. Your baby brother is with me. He was passed on the ground floor of my complex so I took him up and I’m letting him rest for the night. You can come pick him up tomorrow or whenever you have the time. (I don’t want you hungover when you do.) See you in the morning.]
He placed his phone back down and let out a tired sigh. Huh. Finally sleepy. He laid down on his couch and grabbed the blanket resting on top of it, draping the fabric over his body. Before he passed out, he made sure his skull was on so Agoti didn’t get greeted with an unfamiliar face.
Plus, I don’t wanna tell him until I’m ready. We’ve only known each other for… A month now? We first met in August, so… Yeah. That sounds about right.
He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, waiting for morning to come.
“Tabi!”
Mgh…? A loud voice coming from outside his apartment broke him from his deep sleep. He sat up, and the voice called for his name again.
“Tabs, it’s me! Al! I saw your text!”
“What time is it?” He shouted back.
“It’s seven thirty!”
“Are you hungover?”
“No! I swear! Promise! On my life I’m not hungover!”
“Stop shouting then! You’re gonna disturb the neighbours and I’m gonna get a noise complaint!”
Aldryx went silent, and the ex-musician sighed. He got up and headed over to his door, opening it to see the digidevil staring down at him.
“Good morning, Al.”
“Morning. Can I come in?”
“Sure. Whatever…” He moved out of the way and followed him back to the couch, sitting down next to him.
“Is Ags alright?” He immediately asked.
“Yes. Passed out like a log on my bed.”
“How did he even end up here?” Aldryx questioned.
“I dunno. I wanted to get some air last night, so I head down and boom, he’s lying there motionless. I was hoping you could provide some context?”
“...Well, he’s been at his studio the past week, trying to catch up with what he missed. And I’ve unfortunately been locked up at Giga as well, so my chances to check up on him were limited at best. Even when I did go there, I got no answer. Plus, the entrance was locked. I’m guessing his manager kept him cooped up there and didn’t let him sleep.”
“Jesus Christ… He really needs a new manager, Al!” Tabi retorted.
“I know! But he’s struggling to find one.”
“Okay, here’s my suggestion. Fire the bastard and Agoti should avoid doing anything related to music until he either finds a new one or his life is a bit more back on track. He doesn’t seem mentally well at the moment.”
“Well- I-” Aldryx went silent. The idea wasn’t terrible, to be honest. The older digidevil nodded. “You’re right. I’ll see what I can do…” He glanced over at the ex-musicians bedroom door, staring at it intently.
“Yes, you can go check up on him,” Tabi said bluntly. His friend got up and peeked inside.
Agoti was huddled comfortably under a blanket, eyes shut and breathing calmly as he slept. Aldryx smiled softly at the sight. To him, Agoti was still a baby. The ex-composer had come over and was standing next to him, looking at the younger digidevil as well.
“Do you want me to take him home?” He asked the goat skulled man.
“Hm? Um…”
“Didn’t you text me asking me to pick him up in the morning?”
“I did…” Tabi mumbled.
“Did you change your mind?”
The ex-composer didn’t say anything. Well, as he slept last night, he somewhat wanted to take care of the digidevil whilst he rested up. …More than somewhat. He really wanted to take care of him. Plus, he wanted to prove to both Aldryx and Solazar that he wasn’t going to harm him in any way, especially after what he did back in June.
“I can take care of him until he’s energised again.”
“Why?”
“Because Sol hates me.”
“Eh-” Aldryx was taken aback. “No he doesn’t!”
“Yes he does! He doesn’t trust me, Al! For good reason! And- And you shouldn’t either!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Remember what I did?” He questioned.
“Yes, Tabs, I do! But that- You- He-” The older digidevil fumbled over his words.
“Look, Al. I want to prove to your father that I’m not a threat. So if I take care of Agoti for a few days, that might be enough for him.”
“It- …You get on my nerves as much as Ags does sometimes. Fine. But I’ll have to tell my dad that you are and why you are, or else he might freak out if I don’t come home with him. Once he’s feeling better, text me and I’ll come get him in a few days time. Deal?” He stuck out his hand.
“Deal.” Tabi gave him a firm handshake, and Aldryx sighed.
“Alright. And could you please keep me updated?” He asked as he headed for the door.
“Yes.”
“Good. See you later, Tabs.” He waved to the ex-musican as he left, and Tabi waved back. He was now alone with Agoti again, and he glanced back into his bedroom.
Still asleep. I guess I should make something to eat. It’s almost eight. He went over to his kitchen and opened the fridge, peering inside to see what he could eat.
Again, I feel too lazy to make something. I have yogurt. That’s filling enough. He snapped off one of the little tubs, grabbed a spoon and sat on top of his counter, eating slowly.
Maybe I should go to the gym later. And a walk, or else I’ll be so bored here… He sighed deeply. As much as I hate interacting with others, sitting in my apartment everyday isn’t healthy. I think Al was right… I should get out more… But where? And what do I do? I guess I could hang out with Agoti more often. He probably wants to show me places and stores… I wonder how alone he is. But he must have friends, right? He mentioned he had some friends from high school he still talks to, but how often?
Tabi’s thoughts trailed off, talking to himself in his head about things happening in the world, his own self and mind, and stuff in general. He didn’t even realise how boring his life was until now. Ever since the ruin of his career, nothing about his life was interesting. He had nothing to do. He hated interacting with others. He was practically a stray animal that hissed at any sort of confrontation. But who could blame him? His trust issues made it so hard. He wished he hung out with people more, but he was scared beyond belief that something terrible would happen and he would be at fault. That he was one that had to be shunned.
Keeping myself cooped up in my apartment, while it sounds horrible, is the better option. He didn’t talk to his neighbours. Didn’t let himself get acquainted with them. When he first moved in, he ignored every knock on his door unless it was Aldryx. He only trusted Aldryx because he had known him for some time before getting cursed. When Tabi was far more approachable.
He’s not a bad guy. He likes me. Wants me to be safe… Oh. I finished it. He glanced down at his empty yogurt tub, and he hopped off the counter, quickly throwing it in the bin. He headed back over to his couch and fell onto it, leaning back and sighing deeply again.
Unfortunately, he only had a few moments of peace as a shrill scream broke through the still air, frightening Tabi to his very core.
Jesus! What was that? It was obviously Agoti that had just yelled. The ex-musician got up and peered into his bedroom, worried for the digidevil.
“Ah…” He was sitting near the wall and curled up on the bed, blanket around his shoulders as the ex-composer could hear him sobbing gently.
He’s crying? In the one month they had known each other, he had never seen him break down weeping before. Agoti seemed so nice and gentle and outgoing, so this definitely came as a surprise to Tabi.
“...Agoti?” He whispered as quietly as he could. He carefully walked over and sat down on the bed, keeping his distance.
“Hhhh… *hic* Mmm… G-Go away…”
“Um… It’s just me, y’know. You were passed out on the floor of my apartment last night, so I brought you up so you could get some proper rest. Are you okay?”
“Hhh… *sniff* W-Why…”
“Because… You are my friend? Did you have a nightmare?”
“Mmm… Mhm…”
“Oh. I get it. Though I usually don’t wake up crying… I mean, sometimes I do, but it depends on how traumatising the nightmare is, haha…” Tabi was desperately trying to lighten the mood. He did not want noise complaints!
“It- It was about- Al- He- I saw- His body limp- Heart stabbed and bleeding- *hic*”
“Oh…” Tabi unfortunately knew what he was talking about. Aldryx had told him about the time he had gotten stabbed by a humanoid creature of sorts, similar to a digidevil in terms of appearance. Bad times. “Well, it was just a nightmare, right? I doubt that’s gonna happen to Al-” As he reached over to pat Agoti’s back, the younger man suddenly turned around and pounced on Tabi, hugging him tightly and burying his face into his chest as he sobbed away.
The ex-musician lifted his arms into the air, afraid by the sudden touch. The hell? He thought. But he couldn’t peel him off his body, that’d only make the situation worse; Yelling at him would make it horrible. So he sat there in silence, eventually calming down and coming to his senses.
Guess I could show him a bit of support. He returned the hug gently, patting his back.
Shit, what do I say? Tabi thought for a moment, wondering if saying any words of comfort would only make Agoti worse and cry even harder. But he bit the bullet and carefully whispered, “You’re okay, Agoti. You’re in safe hands.”
The digidevil sniffled quietly and nodded, slightly loosening his grip around the ex-musician, and Tabi let out a sigh. Being touch avoidant and touch starved was hell incarnate.
After a few minutes of patting his back and muttering soft words of comfort to him, Agoti finally let go of the ex-composer, sitting up and wiping his eyes, yawning tiredly.
“Are you ok now?”
“Mhm… I’m sorry… Y-You didn’t have to deal with that…”
“No, it’s okay. If it was Al, I would’ve done the same. He’s had moments where I needed to be there for him.”
“Yeah…” Agoti glanced around the bedroom, not wanting to make eye contact with Tabi in case it made him uncomfortable.
“You smell,” the ex-musician said bluntly out of the blue.
“Oh. Do you have a bath?”
“Yeah. Bathroom’s just there.” He nodded to a door near the end of the bed. “I can wash your clothes for you.”
“Yeah, alright.” Agoti hopped off the mattress and began to take off his hoodie without prior warning. Tabi’s eyes went wide, but didn’t say a word. What did it matter? They were both men. As long as he doesn’t take off his pants in front of me… His thoughts came to halt as he saw very very faint lines on his chest.
Ah… Those aren’t what I think they are, right? He wondered in worry. It seemed invasive, but he asked, “Agoti, what is that on your body?” Assuming they were scars, which they obviously were, only ‘coated’ the top half of body, around his dark ashy chest and many small ones around his slightly exposed heartware.
“Hm? Oh, you mean my scars? Nah, nothing important. It happened years ago now. I’m fiiine!” He called arrogantly as he headed inside the bathroom. Tabi was doubtful of that. He saw Agoti’s pants drop by the door which was then closed so he could have privacy while he cleaned up. Tabi sighed and picked up his dirty clothes, leaving the bedroom and throwing them in the washing machine in the corner of his kitchen.
Guess I’ll just wait for him to be done. But he has no clean clothes in the meanwhile… I guess he can borrow some I don’t wear. He went back over to his bedroom and opened the closet, pulled a random plain shirt and pants out and placed them in front of the bathroom door. He left so Agoti would have privacy when he got out.
Ugh, what now? I guess Agoti can go home after this… Unless he needs more sleep. He hasn’t gotten proper sleep in a week, so he needs to catch up a couple more hours at best, the ex-musician thought as he sunk down onto the couch. He remembered the scars on his chest, thinking back to it.
He’s struggled with mental health at some point… I mean, we all do. It’s not like I also have some. But if he says he’s fine, he’s fine. Tabi yawned, leaning against the back of the sofa. I can’t even remember if I slept last night… Wait, where’s Mila? God, he’d been so caught up with the digidevil, his cat completely slipped his mind! Though, if he put food in her bowl, surely she’d make herself-
“Gah!-” The ex-composer let out a wheeze as something landed on his chest. He soon realised that it was Mila.
“Christ… Like clockwork, you make yourself known. Hi, sweetheart.” He patted her head, and she instantly began purring. Tabi smiled softly. “Where were you hiding? Did Agoti’s arrival last night scare you? He’s not gonna be here long, alright?” He cooed affectionately. She settled herself on the ex-musician’s lap, kneading his pants with her paws. His cat was so adorable. He leant back, closing his eyes. He felt like he could stay here forever with Mila.
He didn’t know how long it was, but he felt someone – that someone being Agoti – sit down next to him. He opened his eyes, glancing over at the digidevil.
“Hi. Hey, how long do you plan to stay?”
“I dunno… Maybe another day of rest? Possibly two?” He replied, shrugging.
“Okay. I can deal with that.”
“You really don’t like interacting with other people, huh?”
“Well-” Tabi sighed annoyingly. “It’s not that. I just don’t like people staying in my house for long periods of time.”
“I’m not a stranger, though. We’re friends!” Agoti exclaimed.
“Mhm… Едва…” (Barely.)
“Huh.” Agoti tilted his head.
“It’s nothing…” Tabi shrugged, glancing away. “Hey, sorry if this sounds odd, but how did you end up with those scars?” The ex-musician asked.
“Mm…” The digidevil gnawed at his bottom lip, eyes slightly widening at the question. “I’d rather not go into detail, but like- A week after I had graduated I immediately found a studio and manager and all that stuff and the pressure and stress of it all caught up to me. So, like, I kinda couldn’t take it anymore? Y’know, that much growing fame on someone who hasn’t turned eighteen yet is so overwhelming…”
“Wait, you graduated at-” Tabi went silent, trying to correct the timeline of events. “Born in 2001, birth month is October, you’re nineteen right now, we have a one year age gap, so 2018 would’ve been the year you started twelfth grade moving into 2019… Yeah, no, I think I got it…”
“Confusing, I know…” Agoti smiled smugly, which tore away as he let out a yawn. “Should go back to bed…”
“Mhm…” As the digidevil’s previous backstory behind his scars rendered in his head, his eyes went wide at the realisation of ‘Couldn’t take the stress anymore.’
“Wait, did you try to kill yourself?” He shouted in concern.
“What? N-oooooo…? Sortaa? Maybe? Uh… I mean, maybe I did, y’know, self harm, but it’s not easy to kill a digidevil.”
“That explains all the scars around your heartware…” Tabi said slowly, ignoring the singer.
“Nah, you’re getting the wrong idea-”
“How did your family react?”
“I…” It was no lie the rising fame put a lot on his mental health. It stressed him out, and he didn’t go to his brother or father or even consider therapy to help him through those times. He turned to an unhealthy form of coping with anxiety, something to relieve stress. And one day it got too much, and he ‘tried’ to end his life. All that really happened was a fuck ton of pain on previous scars and new ones and the excruciating hurt that his heartware had to deal with until he got help.
Wait, who took me to the hospital? I only remember Al and Sol being there… Doesn’t matter.
“Look, can we not talk about this? It- I don’t like talking about it.”
“...Right. Sorry. Didn’t mean to shove past trauma on you…” Tabi mumbled. “You can go back to bed.”
“Alright…” Agoti stood up and yawned again, heading back into the bedroom to get some more rest.
God, I’ve fucked up. I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up so fucking badly. I should not have said anything about the scars or ask how he ended up with them. God I’m such a horrible person I’m so fucking sorry… He took shallow breaths in, doing his best to not cry. He’s fucked up their relationship and it’s all his fault.
Mm… I’m just gonna go back to sleep. It’s whatever. If I wake up and he’s gone and blocked my number it’s fair. He fell down onto the sofa, Mila in his arms as he tried to get some sleep, trying to blank the past five minutes from his mind.
He felt horrible. He really, really, should not have said anything at all.