Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Damian Wayne-Al Ghul considered himself a rational and logical human being. He had been raised knowing he was the best of the best. One of the smartest people in the world, and he wasn’t even in his teens yet. If you had asked him, not even half a day prior, if he would ever find himself in the middle of a tangle of lies of his own making, purely for enjoyment purposes, he would have scoffed in your face. That kind of childishness was beneath him. 

Yet here he was. Sitting on a crummy couch, in a rundown-apartment-turned-recent-safe-house, At 2am, Plotting with his brother-in-arms how to screw with his father and siblings (though he would never admit to calling them such). 

~~~ 5 hours earlier ~~~

Patrol was rough. Batman had a plan and multiple contingencies for if the plan failed, and still everything managed to go wrong.

It had only been a few months since Damian took up the mantle of Robin and he still had his shortcomings when it came to his father’s No Kill rule. If you asked him, that man deserved what Damian had planned for him. He was a child abuser, beat his wife, and sold drugs to children not even halfway through their schooling. In Damian’s book the man forfeited his life. 

But in Batman’s eyes? No. The man should be thrown in prison. The Dark Knight and his brood of vigilantes did not act as Judge, Jury, and Executioner. If the man hadn't stepped in when he did, the criminal’s life would be lost due to Damian’s hand. 

It was this setback that resulted in the failure of their mission. 

“I cannot believe you Damian. How many times do I have to tell you, we don’t kill. No matter how horrible or evil the person is, it's not our place,” Batman growled as he stormed into the bat cave. Dick and Tim looked down from the sparring ring at the commotion. 

“He would have deserved it! He was scum and a sick excuse for a man. If you hadn’t of gotten in my way-“

“No. Robin is not a murderer. He is a symbol of hope, and I won’t have you tarnishing what he stands for!” The cowl was removed and Bruce was staring daggers at the boy, fury written over his usually blank features. 

If it was a one off slip, Bruce would have still been upset, but able to deal with it in a calmer, more professional way. But it wasn’t. He, Red Robin, and Nightwing had all found themselves stepping in to prevent the young boy from taking a life multiple times this past fortnight. He just didn’t seem to grasp the importance of the matter. 

It was bad enough that there was some deranged crime lord, vigilante, out there killing people left, right and centre. He didn’t need one of his own taking lives too.  

As Bruce continued his tangent, Damian felt a rage and pettiness grow within him, directed at the man he called father. All he could think about was how Bruce was never present for the first 10 years of his life — yes he knew not by choice but the point still stands — and here he was, giving orders and expecting Damian to follow them without question. He would not stand for this. 

“-if you had just listened to me when I told you to—“

“Stop trying to tell me what to do! You’re not my father!” At his words, a defending silence filled the cave. Tim and Dick stopped their sparing to stare over at them, and Bruce stood ramrod straight staring at the boy. 

“Uhh Dami?” How he despised the nickname Dick had given him. The eldest of Batman’s brood kept attempting to initiate acts of sibling-ly-ness between the two, and Damien absolutely hated it. “You do know you’re the only one here who actually IS Bruce’s kid? You can’t pull that card like the rest of us can.” Tim nodded along with his brother. 

It was a moment of foolishness on Damian’s part but before he could rectify it, a sudden idea sparked to life. One he normally wouldn’t deign to entertain. But currently he was in the mood to cause his father a little (a lot) of stress. 

A devious smirk made its way onto Damian’s face, mischief glinting in his eyes. “What makes you so sure about that, Grayson?”

Chapter Text

You’re not my father

The words kept running on loop inside Bruce’s head. He had been taking care of Damian for the past 5 months, since Talia had dropped the 10 year old on his doorstep, claiming him to be his biological child. Bruce knew Talia was crazy enough and smart enough to create a child using his DNA, and Damian looked so similar to Bruce that it wasn’t hard to believe. 

But at Damian’s words, Bruce’s entire outlook on the situation felt like it was on the verge of collapsing. Because while Talia was crazy enough to do what she had said, she was also vindictive enough to lie about it.

“Damian,” the strain in his voice was clear for everyone to hear, “what do you mean I’m not your father?” The boy glared at him from across the cave. 

“What I mean is that you did not sire me. Bruce.” Calling his father by his name gave Damian a sense of power, and encouraged him to go on with his deceit. “Mother found it fit to place me under your care seeing as my biological father was trained under you and he turned out perfectly capable.”

Bruce’s eyes darted across the cave, locking on to Dick, who stood wide eyed staring at the two arguing men. “Don’t look at me B. I never—“

“Tt. You think so poorly of me that you’d assume Grayson was my father. Nonsense.” His statement was followed by disgruntled noises all around. “No. My father is Jason Todd, after he was revived from the Lazarus Pit.”

Stunned silence filled the cave yet again as Batman and the former Robins stared at Damian. 

“No. That- that’s impossible. He- Jason- he died. We buried him, and for you to bring him up like this is-“

“Tt. He may have died but he is very much alive. He trained and raised me at the League before returning to Gotham. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed, considering all the times you’ve complained about the Red Hood.” 

He knew it was a low blow the second it left his mouth, but if he was being honest he really didn’t care. He was trying to make Bruce suffer, and what better way to do so than this. 

Everyone in the cave stayed silent. No one dared to say anything after the bombshell Damian had dropped. The child sent a glare each of their way before storming out of the cave. No one followed him. They were too caught up on processing the fact that not only was Jason alive, but he was alive and a crime lord, notorious for throwing heads in a duffel bag. 

~~~  ~~~

The old leather couch creaked underneath him, as Jason sat down, bowl of pasta in hand. The piece of junk furniture came with the place and he still needed to get around to replacing it. He’d only had the apartment for two weeks. 

A slight creak from the corner of his apartment, right by the window, had Jason whirling around guns drawn and aimed directly at a tanned forehead. 

"Ahki I-"

“What the fuck demon brat,” he switched the safety back on and lowered the fire arm. “I could have killed you. What have I said about breaking into my apartment? Fucking siblings.” The last part was said under the crime lord’s breath.  

“Tt. If you didn’t want me breaking in you should have made your security system far less inadequate.” The elder of the two rolled his eyes in exasperation. 

“What do you want? I was about to eat dinner.”

Damian pursed his lips as he regarded his older brother. “As I was saying, I have come to inform you of three things.”

Jason gave him a dead stare that said go on. 

“Firstly, I informed Drake, Grayson, and Father that you are, in fact, alive.” Damian continued to speak over the indignant spluttering that came from the other. “Secondly, I also informed them of your identity as Red Hood, and lastly they are under the belief that you are my biological father.”

Jason stared at the 10 year old in disbelief. “Damian. What the actual fuck?”

“Father pissed me off, and I was mad and impulsive” The younger of the two huffed, his age showing through, as it so rarely did. 

The two stared at each other in silence. 

After a beat, “you know what. That checks out. Especially if we’re gonna pretend you’re my kid.”

Damian blinked at the older man in disbelief. “You’re not mad? I outed your identity and status as. alive to our siblings and father.”

“Eh. It was bound to happen eventually.”

“I knew I could count on you Todd.”

“To piss off those arseholes? Anytime Demon Brat.”

Chapter Text

Two days had passed since Jason and Damian spent hours scheming and crafting a believable backstory, in order to fully commit to the Jason is Damian’s bio dad story. Hood and the assortment of bats and birds hadn’t bumped into each other on patrols, not from lack of trying on Batman’s part. 

The plan was simple.

Wednesdays, according to Damian, had become the night for family dinner. No matter what, everyone tried their hardest to get to the manor so they had at least one night together as a family each week. 

(This tradition apparently started once Tim became Robin, and even though it was never stated, both could pretty easily guess why Bruce was so insistent on one night a week with the entire family. The thought of it gave Jason an odd feeling.)

The two decided what better time to cause mayhem, then when the entire family was present. 

Dinner was an early thing in the Wayne Manor, due to the various night activities they all got up to. So when 5:30 rolled around and there was a knock on the door, everyone stopped and stared in confusion. All family members were accounted for; Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Babs, Tim, Steph, Cas, Damian and Duke. Even Kate and Helena had stopped by an hour before to say hi, before heading back out to work on their respective cases. 

Alfred started towards the door, but before he could get there, Damian was racing ahead of him. “I’ll get it!”

His enthusiasm set the others on edge. The boy was never this excited about interacting with people. Especially when Alfred was there to answer the door, and he really had no obligation to greet whoever had knocked. 

Everyone stared as Damian opened the doors to none other than the Red Hood. He stood there in a red hoodie and a domino mask, hands tucked into his jacket pockets in a relaxed fashion. The man turned to fully face Damian, after looking into the distance, and a huge grin took over his face. 

“Damian! Look at you. You’ve grown so much since I saw you last. What was it? Five months ago?” Jason really played it up. He bent down and picked Damian up in a hug. He knew it was over the top but the panic in everyone else’s eyes was hilarious, and so very worth it. 

He knew they knew he was Jason Todd, but they didn’t need to know he knew that. For their scheming to get the best effect, it needed to stay that way for the first (and current) phase of the plan. 

He set his brother down and looked up to the rest of the Wayne (and Wayne Adjacent) Family with a cold contemplating look. He can’t have them thinking he’s forgiven what’s happened. He hasn’t gotten there yet. 

“Bruce Wayne. I heard you’ve been looking after Dami for me.” The boy sent a glare Jason’s way at the nickname. “Now that I’ve gotten settled into my turf I thought I’d stop by for dinner, get a look at the people raising my kid.” Even though Damian wasn’t biologically his, Jason didn’t feel like he was lying. With all his time spent at the league with the boy, Jason truly saw Damian as his own. He raised him. Taught him how to defend himself and protect others, even when Talia disapproved. 

“Especially since a few years back you failed to protect that second son of yours. Joker kills Jason Todd-Wayne was all over the news 13 years ago. I don’t want you failing Damian here like you did him.”

“Ja-“ He sounded like a wounded dog, but before Bruce could even get one word out, Jason steamrolled over him. He and Damian had decided that any time one of the family members went to say his name, Jason would casually interrupt for as long as he could manage it. 

“It seems like I chose the perfect day to stop by. Looks to me like the entire family is here.”

There was a stunned silence for a second, broken when Dick awkwardly cleared his throat. “Umm. Yeah I guess. Wednesday’s are family dinner nights.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he said it, most likely thinking about how when it was just him and Jason, it was nearly impossible to have a family dinner. Bruce and Dick would inevitably end up arguing, stopping any attempts with a strict finality. 

“Great! Whatever’s cooking smells delicious. Damian, care to show me around the place?”

Before anyone else could object, Damian eagerly grabbed Jason by the arm and dragged him away, leaving a stunned group of vigilantes in their wake.

~~~  ~~~

Thick tension filled the air as everyone ate. The only two speaking were Damian and Jason, and even that was done in what sounded to Dick like  Arabic. He wanted so badly to say something but every time he went to address the two, the words got caught in his throat. 

That was his little brother sitting there. His Little Wing. 

A weight was pushing down on his chest that felt like a crushing guilt. If he had tried harder with Jason while he was still alive, maybe he wouldn’t be sitting across a dinner table from him, being treated like a complete stranger, while Jason was clearly in deep pain. 

He knew Jason, or at least he did, and he could easily see when the other was struggling. 

“So Ja-“ Tim went to speak before pausing and correcting himself. By this point they had all realised that Jason refused to answer to such and wouldn’t even allow them to say his name before speaking over them. As if he wanted to keep pretending that they didn’t know who he really was. Maybe he truly thought so, not knowing Damian had let that information slip. 

“Red Hood. What brings you here to Gotham?”

There was a hesitancy to Tim’s question. 

Red Hood stared at him with a calculating glare. “Well my Kid’s living here now. But mostly, I’ve got some debts to settle. There are some people here in Gotham who promised me things a long, long time ago and failed to follow through on those promises, resulting in a lot of pain on my part.” His voice was even but held a sharp edge to it. In a blink-and-you-miss-it moment Dick swore he saw Jason’s eyes flicker to him and Bruce behind his Domino. 

“I intend to rectify that. Not to mention the person who inflicted said pain. He lives here too. Quite a nuisance, that stupid clown. But I’m sure you all know that, considering Batman has failed to lock him away and keep him there.”

Bruce was as stiff as a rod next to Dick. 

“Dami, could you pass me the bread rolls please?” Hood continued on as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t set the entire Family on edge with his statements. 

~~~ ~~~

“No, no, I get what you’re saying, but the Tenth was by far the best Doctor. His acting was on point and his Doctor was so much more complex.”

“Shut up Todd, eleven was by far the better of the two. His companions were far superior to his predecessors. Everyone knows that the better companions make the better season, and hence the better Regeneration.”

“Oh please. Yes his companions were the best I’ll give you that - no one can top Amy and Rory - but without Ten, there would be no eleven. Tennant is the one who skyrocketed the show into popularity. It’s because of him and his performance that we can even have this stupid debate. Not to mention he had such better episodes. The Girl in the Fireplace. Blink. The Unicorn and the Wasp. Silence in the Library. Just to name a few.”

Jason felt a sense of satisfaction at the baffled and concerned looks the rest of the table were giving him and Damian. For the past 10 minutes, the two of them had been ranting about their favourite show in Arabic, refusing to use English, and leaving everyone else to sit in confusion. 

During their time living together at the League, whenever they got a break from their extensive training routines they would sit together watching Doctor Who. When he was alive the first time, the second season had only just come out, and Jason had loved the show. When he was resurrected and found out the show was still going, he forced Damian to watch it with him. It became “their show”.  

“So Hood.” Steph said around a mouth full of bread. From what Jason could tell she was the one with the most can’t give two shits personality of the family. ”How long did you know Talia before this one came along?”

Bruce sent her a glare, which she returned with a look that said what I’m allowed to be curious 

He considered the question and whether he should be honest or not, and eventually settled on honesty. What would it hurt? 

“I met her when I was 16 I think, and then Dami didn’t come around until I was 19. Talia and I aren’t involved at all, if that’s what you’re getting at. We had a one off thing and a few months later, next thing I know I’m raising a kid.” The best lies always were hidden in truths. And the greatest part was that Jason didn’t even have to lie once answering Steph’s question. He was 19 when Damian was born. Him and Talia did have a one off fling after a training session that one time. And then a few months later Talia did acquire some of Bruce’s DNA which led to Damian being born. And he was the one Talia left in charge of raising the baby. 

Damian, in a rare display of his true age, gagged and made a face at RedHood. “Eww. I do not wish to hear of you and Mother. Just the thought of it.” The kid dramatically shivered. “Disgusting.” 

Tim couldn’t hold back a laugh at Damian’s display, and soon the entire table followed his lead, and everyone was chuckling slightly. It broke some of the tension that had built. Shoulders loosened and smiles seemed more natural. 

~~~  ~~~

Dinner continued for another half hour, or so, filled with idle chatter, mostly about Damian, to the boy's annoyance. While Jason was in it to fuck with Bruce, Dick and the rest of his brood of children, he was Damian’s brother first and any opportunity to embarrass the brat he would be taking up without hesitation. 

His favourite story to tell was of the time Damian was maybe 7 years old, the kid had been on his first “solo” mission - Jason was actually following him and keeping tabs on him the entire time since he was still 7 years old Ra’s you fucking lunatic - when he came across an injured bird. 

Jason recalled how Damian had dropped everything to look after the bird and make sure it was nursed to health. He even had pictures to show of Damian caring for the creature that he took from his perch in a nearby tree at the time. 

There was one of Damian cradling the bird's broken wing. 

Another of him fast asleep, the bird in his arms, curled protectively around the animal. 

Jason had gone off to finish Damian’s mission, knowing what trouble the boy would be in had they returned to base late and unsuccessful. 

All in all, it was a core memory for Jason. 

He was about to start on another story about the trouble Damian would cause at the league, when his phone started buzzing. He took a quick glance down and instantly froze up, his demeanour changing to something far more hostile than his previous relaxed laughter. 

“For fucks same. You’ve got to be kidding me.” The chair groaned as Jason rose, grabbing his things while muttering to himself. 

“It was nice seeing you Dami,” a ruffle to the boy’s hair, “I’ll be checking in often, kid. Wayne,” a glare was sent towards Bruce, “If you don’t treat him right I’ll hear about it. And you don’t want to deal with me if I hear you're not looking after him the way you should be. I’ve got some business to take care of.”

With that Jason walked out, muttering about rival gangs and turf wars. 

The rest of the family sat in silence, staring at one another. 

“We should probably go do something about that shouldn’t we?” All eyes turned to duke, looking awkward to be the one to break the silence. “He may be Damian’s father but he’s still the Red Hood. It’s kind of our job to stop him?”

“Duke’s right. Everyone, dinner is over, you all know what you have to do. Stay safe out there, watch each other’s backs and call for backup if need be.” 

Damian rolled his eyes while the rest of the family nodded, making their way down to the batcave. 

Chapter Text

He should have known. He should have seen it coming. 

It was impossible for him to go 24 hours without something turning to absolute shit. 

Patrol had gone smoothly the night before, with no Arkham breakouts or major crimes committed. Wayne Enterprises was on track with their latest developments in collaboration with Star Labs, both budget and time wise. Red Hood had taken a step back for the time being (he honestly didn’t think he had it in him to be fighting with Hood right now). It was the first time in two months that he hadn’t been plastered all over the front page of the Gazette, due to some made-up scandal or other. He even had Date Night planned out for later that evening. 

Life was actually doing good by him for once.

But no… 

Of course he couldn’t have one single day of peaceful bliss. He was Bruce fucking Wayne, and the universe had it out for him. 

~~~  ~~~

Good Afternoon Mr Wayne,

There have been some issues regarding your son out in the yard today, during the children’s lunch break. We request the presence of the Guardian/s of Damian Wayne in the headmaster’s office as soon as possible. 

We have important matters to discuss in regards to discipline and suspension, as dictated by the student handbook, for when violent acts occur on school grounds. Please arrive by 2:00pm at the absolute latest, or else action will be taken without consultation, given it is a courtesy not a requirement to involve guardians in the discussion, under our school’s policies.

Our administration appreciate your time and haste. 

Regards,

Headmaster Hammer 

Gotham Academy 

Bruce stared at the notification, reading it over again for the third time to make sure he understood it correctly. A dull ache started to form behind his eyes, the sure sign of an oncoming migraine. 

Damian was finally starting to do good in school—socially that is. He was excelling academically. The only reason Bruce sent him to Gotham Academy in the first place was to give the boy a decent chance at normalcy, and a social life—he was no longer getting into mental sparring matches with his teachers, or “verbally eviscerating” (as Tim and Steph put it) his classmates over the smallest inconveniences. 

Suppressing a groan, Bruce called his assistant to let her know he wouldn’t be available for any of his board meetings that day, and to organise files to be made up for him of all three meetings. That way he could at least know what was happening and give his input later, if he deemed it necessary. 

Half the time he was just in those meetings for appearances. Lucius did most of the heavy lifting for him. Also Tim occasionally–when the boy wasn’t running himself to the ground working on a case file.

By the time he was climbing into his car, it was 1:10. 7 minutes since he first received the summons. He'd be at the school by 1:25 easily. He just hoped that Damian hadn’t broken any bones or hospitalised anyone. 

The last thing Bruce expected to see when he stepped into Hammer’s office was Damian sat next to another figure, sitting across from the headmaster, mid conversation. It didn’t take a wild guess to know who was sitting there. 

“Ah Mr Wayne, I’m so glad you could join us. I was just filling Mr Al Ghul here in on our past grievances with Damian while we were waiting. Ms Talia rang up our office the other day informing us of Peter here’s familial ties to young Damian. She informed us that he has full parental rights on her behalf.”

Bruce couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stayed rooted in place, standing in the doorway. Just staring at the ensemble in front of him. 

“Am I correct in assuming the two of you have met?”

“Oh yeah. Me and Bruce go way back. Don’t we B?”

Seeing Jason at dinner the other night was one thing, but even then he was playing up the Red Hood persona. He looked so different from when Bruce saw him last that it was still somewhat plausible Damian could have been lying. But to see him. Sitting across the office with a grin on his face, and an anger in his eyes. That was Jason Todd. No denying it. It was his Jaylad. 

“Excellent”, Hammer continued, oblivious to the tension in the room and turmoil Bruce was facing. “Now if you would please take your seat, I’d like to discuss the matters at hand.”

A nod was quickly followed by the scraping of furniture, as Bruce took his seat to Damian’s right. 

~~~  ~~~

Little to no convincing was needed to get Talia in on the prank. All Jason had to do was call his pseudo-mother and tell her He and Damian were messing with Bruce and needed her help for it. She didn’t even ask what exactly they needed her to do before readily agreeing. 

Jason knew it was going to be easy. Talia Al Ghul may be heir to an empire of assassins but she would drop everything for her boys, as she had proven on multiple occasions. Just knowing that it would make both Jason and Damian happy if she helped them, was enough incentive for her to be their accomplice. Jason knew this about her. 

He also knew the added bonus of pissing off Bruce didn’t hurt either. 

They spent over two hours on call, mostly catching one another up on their life since Jason had left Nanda Parbat, but also piecing together their plan for phase two. He explained how for it to work Jason needed legal rights to be Damian’s guardian and a contact at Gotham Academy. 

Two issues arose with this; He wasn’t ready to be resurrected as Jason Todd to the public quite yet, and they didn’t need a scandal about Bruce not being Damian’s true father getting out. it would just cause problems for them, seeing as it wasn’t even true, and the entertainment factor would be far outweighed by the hassle it would bring. 

The solutions for both were quite simple in Jason’s opinion—Especially given his tendencies for elaborate plans. He’s a theatre kid at heart who could blame him—and he explained them to Talia. 

She would contact the school about her eldest son, Peter AlGhul, moving to Gotham. About her wanting to pass Parental Roles to him within the school— She just hates being so far away and with little say in her boy’s education due to work being heavily internationally based. With Peter taking up those responsibilities she can have more say, since Damian’s father doesn’t fill her in on the small inconsequential details. Her eldest practically raised the boy, so who better to be a Legal Guardian for Damian than Peter. 

The lies were easy, especially given how close to the truth they actually were. Jason was an honorary AlGhul. Ra’s had taken him in under the family name years before he moved back home to Gotham. Talia did wish to be more involved in Damian’s life, although not so much in the sense of Elementary school education, but the fact still stands.

Once everything was set in place, Damian would get into a fight at school and get his guardians called into the headmaster’s office. From there everything would fall into place and chaos would ensue. 

Three days has passed since the phone call, and phase two was ready to commence.