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Noelle closed her eyes. She felt the weight of the fabric that wrapped around her torso. Beyond the threshold of the cloth, it was cold. But here? It was warm.
She could feel herself moving, even without the feedback of the muscles on her legs. Noelle opened her eyes to investigate, confirming: Yes. Her legs were indeed walking. Only then, did she glance up to a familiar trail blanketed in snow.
As she walked, she took in her surroundings. It was night, but the moonlight bounced around the frozen landscape. The snow would sparkle in the distance. The occasional bush behind Noelle would rustle. Snowflakes were landing on the bench over there- wait a minute.
Noelle stopped walking and mustered the courage to confront the noise, "Wh-Who's there?"
No response.
She kept standing, bracing for an animal to scurry by, or the wind to pick up, or a pin to drop.
"Boo!" a voice echoed behind her.
Noelle tried as hard as she could not to scream or jump.
There was a moment of silence. "... Wow. Where'd you get your composure? The freezer?" Noelle would know that voice anywhere.
"I knew I heard something!" Noelle smiled back at the deer monster that appeared from the bushes.
"Alright, you caught me." she threw up her hands in surrender, "Are we gonna keep going? Or were you trying to be the world's largest living Popsicle?"
They shared a laugh and continued down the trail.
"So, how's it going?"
Noelle snickered, "That's it? 'How's it going?' You came out here for that? I thought you hated the cold!"
"Everybody hates the cold! I just wanted to talk and you wandered all the way out here!" her voice was playfully over-exaggerated. "Okay, umm... wasn't you stressing over a test a few days ago? Not that you needed to, of course..."
Noelle snorted, "I think I did well. Especially after I helped Birdly study..."
"AGAIN!?" The voice beside Noelle suddenly burst into laughter, "You've been his academic guardian angel for ages!"
She was making a gesture, but Noelle made sure to look away.
"He's not that bad, really. He just needs the... encouragement?"
"Yeah, right. Even if bird-brain could get a whole worksheet done by himself, he'd still come over and ask-" she pinches her nose, "Hey Noelle! Did I do this right? Hey Noelle! Are you sure that the test is tomorrow? Hey Noelle-"
Noelle tries to mask a laugh, "Har-har, very funny. Are you here to make fun of my friends, or what?"
"Nah, I'm just joking... kinda." It only takes a second for her face to light up again. "Oh yeah! How was cross country? Did you enjoy the season?"
Noelle looks down, still stepping along. "It was okay. Honestly, the best part about it is being able to talk to Jockington." her giggle trails off. "But it's just..."
"What, you didn't like Mom forcing you to run on dirt instead of a track?"
"No, I... It's not like how you are with Baseball." Noelle trails off with those last words.
"Yeah? I mean, it doesn't have to be your 'passion' or whatever to have a little fun. Like you said, you get to hang out with Jockington!"
Noelle nods her head a little.
"And hey," Dess leans in to whisper, "just appreciate the fact you don't have to DRIVE OUT OF TOWN JUST TO PLAY!"
Noelle giggles at the sudden burst of energy echoing around them. "I guess you're right."
As the sisters walk along the trail, a few more snowflakes appear and land on the ground ahead.
Dess rubbed her arms, "You sure you aren't cold out here?"
"No, see?" Noelle swings her arms, making a swishing noise.
"Wow. How far back in Dad's closet was that?"
"Not that far! I figured you didn't want me messing with your 'wardrobe'." Noelle says the last word mockingly,
"Can't have you messin' with my style, Elly!" Dess crosses her arms with a laugh.
Dess always had a unique "style" as she grew older and started to follow the fashion trends that would spawn and subsequently die out in a month. If you opened the closet in her room, you could see exactly when the festive reds and greens gave way to the darker shades and camo patterns. Asriel never experimented with fashion the way Dess did, but her presence eventually influenced a few accessory choices in his apparel... even if he claims that the chrome star necklace he bought "just looked pretty".
A slight brush of wind knocked Dess back out of her stance. "Why'd you come out here for a walk in the cold?"
"Hmm... I'm not sure."
Noelle paused to close her eyes and take in the wintery air. It was crisp; Distinctly subtle compared to the sweet smell of spring, or the charcoal smell of autumn. It was like holding a cold drink to your face and feeling the refreshing cold emanating from it. The smell of the air, the calm snowy streets, there was something oddly satisfying about being comfortable in the cold. Even if the wind picks up, you can always go back inside. In her eyes, these were the quiet staples of the festive season.
Dess was leaning over, trying to get a read of Noelle's introspective expression,
"Uhh... I didn't expect you to take that so seriously." She giggled, "Reminds me of Asriel in a weird way. You and him can find meaning in stuff like this..." She kicked a little bit of snow around.
"I guess so... It's not like I was doing much in the summer anyways."
"Geez. Were me, Kris, and Azzy not enough to entertain you?" There's a grin forming on Dess' face. Noelle doesn't seem to notice.
"No, I mean... I wish I could do stuff on my own sometimes."
Dess' face relaxes, "Did you finally get sick of Mom telling you what to do?"
"No, --well, yes-- but just In general."
Dess repositioned herself in front of Noelle, "You can do stuff on your own! You remember when you brought back those movies?"
"Oh, come on..."
She remembers it clear as day. After School, Noelle walked with Kris and Asriel to the library while someone was busy with a Baseball game. When Asriel started studying, Kris immediately walked over to the "Shows & Movies" section, and Noelle followed them. She picked out a few movies her sister always talked about. And she, (with the assistance of Kris) convinced Azzy to not only check them out but to let Noelle hold onto them for "safe keeping". Needless to say, her mom was furious. Dess and Noelle were already caught watching movies past their bedtime the week before.
"She yelled at you for twenty minutes..."
"Hah! Yeah, she wasn't too happy about that one..."
Noelle didn't laugh. "Then why'd you say YOU borrowed them when It was MY idea in the first place?"
Noelle's eyes drifted downward, "Y'know... sometimes I wish I could've switched places with you." she didn't know why, but saying those words to Dess' face made her heart ache a little.
"C'mon, that stuff doesn't bother me. I've gotten myself into trouble a million times by now."
"Well, why can't I do that? You can look Mom in the eye when she's yelling at you about stuff you didn't even do, and the most rebellious thing I can do is take walks in an empty forest!"
The wind picked up a little, and Noelle tried to look away.
"Elly..." Dess tried to lean into Noelle's line of sight, but she just lowered her head more. "Give yourself a little more credit. You're a hell of a lot smarter than I am! You get good grades, you do well in Cross Country, and you've got friends who care about you! What else could you want?"
Noelle sighed, "Mom never bothers me about that last one..."
She didn't look up in the silence that followed. She could barely register the snow falling around them, or the footsteps approaching her.
"Noelle..." Dess embraced her sister over the shoulders, "I don't know what to tell you. You've gotta stop beating yourself up over the things you can't control."
Noelle could only frown.
"You need to focus on what you can do."
Noelle shook her head, "I just told you I can't do anything..."
"Yes you can." she almost laughed, "You could at least keep walking."
"Even when I do..." Noelle felt warm under Dess' arms, "When I was walking, I couldn't even feel my legs, you know? It's like I'm just floating down the path. And I don't even know where I'm headed!" She tried to give a laugh, but she couldn't even do that.
"I mean, It doesn't really matter where you end up right?"
"As long as your friends are with you on the road, It doesn't matter where it goes."
There was only the sound of the blowing snow for a moment. "Why can't I just stay like this with you, Dess?"
"Because I want you to keep going, Elly." Dess placed her hand on Noelle's cheek. She didn't look up. "Don't stop to look back every time you doubt yourself."
Noelle's vision became blurry for a second.
"Just promise me not to look back, okay?"
With that last word, the wind quickly pushed away the warmth of Dess' arm on Noelle's shoulder, along with the touch of her hand on Noelle's face.
Noelle brought her head up and wiped her eyes. There was only the path ahead, marked with even rows of trees. She brushed off the snow piling on her shoulders and looked to the path behind her. Only to find a thin mist obscuring a single row of her own footprints. When she looked down in front of her, Noelle could make out two indents in the snow, but nothing else.
She didn't want to move. It was comfortable standing here just a second ago, but the wind picked up, and she froze. She tried to hold herself close, to keep her warmth. But the wind stabbed through every stitch of her coat and every knit of her sweater.
It wasn't apparent earlier, but with the wind chill, it was uncomfortably cold. If she could bring something to make it more bearable, she would. But It's gone. And now it was cold.
It was not the cold that gently woke you up in the morning, not the cold that made you snuggle under the blanket, not even the cold that made you walk a little bit faster to the front door. It was the brush of crystals that nipped at your face. It was the push that would put you off balance. It was the cold that would seep all of the warmth from your very core.
It was colder than any white lie, or empty promise. It was more bitter than any hollow congratulation and subsequent handwave out of the office. It was colder than any trophy awarded for making someone else happy. But colder than all of that, she was alone. Frozen in the forest, colder than the metal rail of the bench she passed what seemed like years ago.
The wind picked up again. She hunched under the pressure of the wind, until
Noelle rolled over and crashed onto the ground.
"Ow..." she rubbed her knee and blinked away her blurry vision, before recognizing the dark living room.
She paused for a moment. "Yeah... if she was there, then of course it was a..." her eyes drifted to the dimly lit furniture.
Toriel was on her chair, and Kris was on a similar chair across from her. Birdly had drawn the short straw and was sleeping on the floor.
Noelle looked over to the couch, where Susie was sleeping. She conked out ever since she finished the bucket of chicken that was cradled in her lap. She "joked" about getting one to watch movies with, instead of popcorn. Despite her insistence on it being "just a joke, really", she did not abstain from the heated argument that ensued soon after. (Noelle ended up being the tie-breaking vote.)
Susie finished it before she could even bother pretending she wanted to share. Nobody complained, though. Noelle was just happy to see the look on Susie's face when she got her hands on it.
Noelle grabbed her blanket before getting back onto the couch and lying (a respectable distance) next to Susie. She took one last look at Susie before closing her eyes.
It was warm.