Work Text:
The mornig after Martin and Tim awoke, they realised the roof of martins shed had blown away in the typhoon that night
“Your roof is gone” Tim says
“Ya” Martin replies
“Damn…”
In fact the whole shed had leaked so much that tims nude body was covered in swamp water and sea weed but its okay because Martins telephone wasn’t effected by the storm and it begins to ring on queue of them waking up….
“Oh goodness your phone is ringing Martin!”
“Yes tim it is… Put some clothes on please i dont feel enjoyment or pleasure looking at you like this i feel nauseous”
“Oh wow ok rude…..” Tim stands up and rotates into an outfit like a sim
“Oh wait i need to answer dat phone” martin sprints over to it and puts it to his ear Attractively…
He listens for a few seconds before falling to his knees in the swamp pile and screaming in horror……
“W-what is it martin?” Tim asks, fear in his eyes
“Split enz….. Bus accident…. All dead…..” He mutters before screaming again and tears shooting out of his eyes
“WHAT!” Tim also falls to the ground on the swamp floor and starts shooting martin with his tears too
Tehy hold each ofher lovingly for a few hours….
4 Days later…
z.
.
.
.
It was the day of the funeral . Many were sad and crying including greedy smith and the rest ofnmental as anything which was rare because they were always so so happy. and midnight oil were there. and lano and woodly . And andy mccluskey .even reg mombassa couldnt play with his paint today because he was toonsad.
Tim stepped forwards to do a speech , legs shaking an trembling
“Well… I am here today to ceebrate the lives of my colleague (malcolm green)….and friends…. and family….. “ he gestures to the comically large coffin in the comically large hole in the ground bc they had to bury themntogether for budget reasons
“I am beyond saddened by their deafs as is everyone else here lowkey OH MY GOD ITS ITS IT IT A GHOST!”
Tim falls to his knees and everyone looks aroujd confused and concerned for him Tbh Actually no they just feel bad and think hes geeking out because all of his friends and malcom green died in like one day
“ITS… ITS HIM” Tim looks up at the flying creative mode naked eddie rayner whos green with grape juice trickling non sexually down his body and pectorals
“No no stop tim “ Martin runs up to the platform and tackles uim bc hes losing his mind
“GET OFF ME MARTIN! HES RIGHT THERE”
“Hi “ Naked eddie rayner but green covered in grape juice non sexually says whilst flying towards him
“Hello…” He replies
“NO NO NO STOP TIM UR TALKING TO URSSLF ! Go Home!!!!!” Martin says dragging him away
“Hello rim…. I am going to rim you…” Eddie says
“?? What”
“Wait no i meant follow me”
“oh Ok” Tim breaks free from martins feeble grasp on his body, his muscles bulging from his suit as he runs towards naked eddie rayner but green covered in grape juice non sexually flying. he follows him out the church and down the road to a tree.
“What is dis” Tim asks
“Just wait…” Ghost Eddie says whilst digging into the ground by the trre. He pulls out an old fashioned lamp and hands it to tim
“Please tim… I want you to rub it . For me.”
“Ummm ok Eddie me pal!!”
Tim rubs the lamp seductively for about 3 minutes. Apparently eddie told him it was more effective if it was seductive idk
At minute 3 and 4 second, the lamp blue up and a genie appeared before him.
“Wow!!!” Tim shrieks “Are you a genie?”
“Yes, I grant you 3 wishes.” The genie says
Tim thinks for a while, and eddie turns to him softly and endearingly not homoerotically because theyre friends and tim was in a ‘Situationship’ with martin right now
“Tim, please wish for everyone in split enz to be brought back to life…. such a favour so great i will let you do as you please with the other 2 wishes… i knew about this lamp for many years….. I just felt now was necessary…..”
“Really… you would do that for me Edward?” His big orbs sparkled with love and hope. Eddie nodded and smiled
“….Ok genie… I wish for All of split enz tto come back to life… Please….!”
The genie nods wisely and starts shaking his hands mystically in the direction of the church. His third Eye of ra opens on his forehead and eddie starts to gulp nervously…. would this work?
“Ok it done” the genie says “Is that all for now ?”
“Yes genie…. thank you so much…..!” tim says tears in his eyes. the genie Evaportates back into the lamp and tim buries it once again. Maybe in the future he will use it when split enz all die and he has to do 2 reunion tours to cover it up in 1993 and 2006
Back at the church, they open the coffin to look at their sweets for the last time but get hit with confusion when they open itnand everyones alive and screaming and wiggling like worms
“LET ME OUUUTTTTT!” Neil finn screams clawing at the sides of his enclosure
“Where am i” Noel says and then checks his watch, before he scampers awaybbecause he realised he was late for his nail appointment.
“Nigel” Says nigel
“Guys i have an idea for some songs i think you should check them out” Malcolm says as tim rushes back in the churchc to kick him in the head and put leaves all over him
The entire gathering of people are so shockdd and dumbfounded because….. how did they survive the bus crash? why did they all wake up allnof a sudden? What was happening? Why was eddie rayner naked and green? But most of all… Martin is perplexed… staggering around ….
Tim turns around to look at the ghost of eddie but he is no where to be seen. as he turns back towards the coffin Real Eddie walks up to him and winks whilst shaking his hand. His hand is covered in slime and tim is sick all over his family to their horror
“Neil!” tim shouts before the wee lad could scamper away.
He is still mute lowkey but he walks up to him nervously expecting a punishment for crashing the tour bus…..
But to his shock….
Tim wraps his arms aroudn him in a loving hug….
#BrotherlyLoveWins
The End.