Chapter Text
I leaned against the rotten wooden fence, eating strawberries from our garden, occasionally squinting because of the sourness. After finishing half the bowl I decided to save it for dinner. I could smell the carrot soup from inside. So I ran towards the wooden house, opening the door hurriedly.
"Mom! is that carrot soup i smell?" I shouted happily, jumping onto the freshly mopped wooden floor.I almost fell forward, but the next second I was able to stand up straight.
"Ellie! Don't you dare to run on that wet floors!" Mom as usual is too worried because of my clumsy personality. I didn't really mind it, continuing steps towards the kitchen. The first thing I saw there was a mother wearing her dirty apron that already had small holes at the bottom. Mom's hair is in a messy bun, I understand, She doesn't have time to style herself, she's still beautiful even with that appearance!
"Ellie, Have you washed your hands before coming here?" Mother didn't turn around when she spoke, she must have heard my hurried footsteps.
"umm yes?" I sat in the closest chair. I heard my mother take a deep breath. "Ellie, You know I won't give you even a single spoonful of soup if you don't wash your dirty hands."
I groaned in disappointment "But mooom...! i'm really hungry!" I complained, putting my head on the dining table lazily. I felt her fragile, supple hands brushing through my black hair. I lifted my gaze, looking at her from below.Mother smiled. Her eyes were a beautiful light brown, but there were sunken holes under her eyes and her cheekbones were prominent. I wondered when was the last time she ate meat?. I turned my gaze to the candle burning on the dining table, hmm thats weird. I feel the candle light is burning strangely, I don't know why.
"Ellie...." she put her hand on my shoulder. Mother is the most patient person I have ever known, even though I often cause trouble, she never shouts at me, never complains about having to live with a brat like me. i love her so much,maybe i love her more than myself.
Mom looked at me in confusion, her eyes darting around the table then returning to mine. "Ellie? Where's the bowl of strawberries you ate earlier? Don't tell me you left them outside again?". I gasped just remembering it after mom said it. "Oh, no! I left it in the yard again! I'll get it before those annoying animals steal my strawberries again!". I stood up from my chair, started running to the yard ignoring my mother's voice warn not to run.
I kept running until I returned to where I had been leaning, finding the bowl still intact, just as I had left it.
smiling happily, I took the object and walked leisurely into the house and towards where my mother was. My breath was still out of breath from running too fast, I walked happily through the living room. My gaze fell on the closed kitchen door, I tilted my head in confusion. I was sure I hadn't closed the door when I ran.
"Please! she's just a kid!" My blood froze, mother's voice sounded hoarse across the room.My steps slowed, cautiously approaching the closed kitchen door. My head hurt, what did I miss? I was only out for 3 minutes, but everything changed, I felt the warmth I felt with my mother disappear, evaporating in the air, replaced by a tense atmosphere.
"Maria! You know I don't want to do it either! But, I have no other choice!" I have never heard that voice in my entire life, who is this person? why is he shouting at mom?.My heart was beating fast, cold sweat soaked my hands and feet. I hesitantly pushed the door, I was afraid of what I would see.
"Mother?" I called out to him, When my eyes finally focused, I saw a tall man with blond hair gripping my mother's fragile hand roughly. Shit! The man's sharp eyes stared right into mine!. I panicked, looking at my mother for help. That's what my mother always does! When there are adults who are disturbed and want to hurt me, mother will protect me! It must be like that too, right?!
but when I looked into her eyes, she looked away. I was confused, why? what really happened? why didn't she run towards me and scold this man?. "Mom?" I walked closer, kept calling my mother, asking for an explanation. I didn't realize there was another adult behind me. They grabbed my arms, knocking me down to face the blonde man. I could see Mother who was still being held in her place, I now realized the tears that were wetting her beautiful face.
The blond man looked down, still holding my mother's hand tightly. He smiled, looking into my eyes. "So yo are Elisabeth? Maria's Daughter?" I hesitated and nodded my head. I was rarely polite to strangers, but I knew this man was dangerous. That man placed his other hand on his chest, bowing his head lower. "I’m Willy Tybur, your father. Elisabeth". Time seemed to stop, Mother always told me that Father had passed away, Mother always said she didn't have a portrait of Father, she always advised me not to care too much about who my father was. But here i am, sitting on the cold wooden floor with my mother being held down roughly by my father and two scary adults behind me ready to punch me at any moment.
I shook my head quickly. "No! you are not my father! My father died!". I saw the grip on my mother's hand getting rougher, I glared in panic trying to reach my mother, but my body was held from behind. "I'm surprised you're so good at making up lies, Maria." The blonde man growled, glancing sharply.
Mother's lips trembled, her face still wet with tears. "Please! Mr. Tybur! She’s still a child! Don't turn her into a monster! I beg you! I'll do anything but please don't do anything to my daughter!"
monster? what is mom talking about? My head is throbbing again. I stare at mom blankly, why is she hiding all this? why didn't she ever tell me that we had to stay in this remote place because we were being chased? All this time that was the reason I couldn't leave the yard, I could only meet strangers that my mother brought here. all this to protect me?
the blonde man pushed mother to the side of the room roughly. "She's not your daughter, Maria. You know that." The sound of my mother's groans of pain filled the silent room, I was still trying to free myself from the adult behind me. "what did you do to my mother! you monster! get out of here!" I screamed in frustration looking at the blonde man, no- his name is Willy! That jerk Willy!
"You heard me Kid, she is not your mother" I ignored Willy's words, because I finally got out of the grip of the adults behind me. I ran as fast as I could to my mother who was wincing in pain. I hugged her tightly, closing my eyes in despair. I won't give them a chance to hurt my mother any more than this! She's so fragile and weak! "Ellie..." Mother's voice sounded hoarse and choked. "Mom! Give me time, you have to live! We will live! I will fight these people and take you away! Stay alive, Mom!". I desperately tried to lift my mother's body, it worked for a few seconds, before Willy lifting my body off the floor. "NO! LET ME GO YOU BASTARD. I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL DESTROY YOU! ALL OF YOU!" I screamed desperately trying to reach my mother's limp body. She's still breathing! She's still alive! I can save my mother! I struggled from Willy's grip and kicked his body aggressively.
"Ellie... he's right, i'm not your mother." I started crying, shook my head quickly. Mom raised her gaze right into my eyes. "But you will always be my baby Ellie! Just remember that I love you so much, even if no one else does! I will always love you!". That was the first time mother shouted at me, her eyes were full of determination even though her body was weak she not giving up. She started to stand up from his slump. With all her strength he tried to grab me from Willy. I tried to reach it too, we almost made it. I was almost back with my mother, the only person I loved.
Life is cruel, but also very beautiful. I spent a good time with my mother in this small place, I felt loved in this place. but in this place I also lost everything, my life, my world. My mom....
The bullet flew faster than I could see. It hit mother's forehead, she was thrown back to the floor for the second time. I realized, mom won't hug me anymore, I won't steal her cooking anymore, I lost her. "NOOOO!!!!" I screamed in pain, my chest hurt, my breath was short. I closed my eyes tightly, unable to look at my mother who was covered in blood. "NOO! PLEASE! MOM! NOO!!" I screamed as loud as I could, like that will wake mom up from the floor.
"Mom!" I gasped. My breath was irregular, my heart was beating fast, cold sweat soaked my back.
I lowered my head. It happened again, all these dreams will continue to haunt me until I die. I cried, without a sound, without anyone noticing, alone in a room I hated.