Chapter Text
Riku has no idea why he willingly put himself on a twenty seven hour long plane ride with three kids and his suffocatingly doting boyfriend, but at least it probably could’ve turned out way worse than it actually is.
“Sakuya, please stop kicking my seat,” Sion asks very politely, looking over the drink menu even though they only took off, like, an hour ago. And it’s 9 in the morning. Some of Riku’s habits have unfortunately rubbed off on him.
“That’s not me, it’s Ryo!” Comes Sakuya’s admonished reply, sticking his head between their seats and pouting. “He’s being annoying.”
“Literally not true,” Ryo calls out. “It was Saku the whole time.”
Daeyoung, from the seat between the two boys, grunts an affirmative.
“Hey-” Sakuya starts, and Riku is immediately tuning him out because there’s only so much drama he can take this early in the morning. As much as he likes to dote on them, really, being stuck on a plane with them has never been on his bucket list - and there’s still an entire twenty-six hours left on this flight.
Riku averts his gaze to the window as Sion looks over at him, begging for help with his eyes. This is none of his business, as far as he’s concerned. It’s Sion’s fault for deciding to come with them on a family vacation in the first place, even more his fault that he’s decided to be the one who tries to make sure everyone is getting along.
(...Riku may or may not have been the one to beg him to come with them, but that’s not the point.)
“Riku-ah,” Sion says, in his low, sweet voice. When that doesn’t work: “Sweetheart. Jagi-yah. My Riku-chan-”
“Riku-chan?” Riku frowns at him. “Riku-chan?”
Sion smiles at him, smile lines wrinkled. Riku despises how fucking weak he is for that smile. It has cost him many petty arguments over the past five months they’ve been dating, and it’s so embarrassing to lose an argument to an old man like Sion. Ryo has a scoreboard for it in his notes app.
Riku is currently winning, but only barely. He needs to up his game.
“Can you please help me with the kids?” Sion asks him, fingers tangling with Riku’s and squeezing. “Your kids? Because mine is being very well-behaved right now.”
That’s a real petty move to be pulling all this time later, considering Sion basically adopted Sakuya and Ryo way back in July; they were his the very second they stepped on that damn tennis court. After all, Sion’s the one who nags them about their grades and teases them and buys them all the bread they want, making them his kids as much as they’re Riku’s.
So Riku squeezes his hand right back, smiling sweetly. “They’re yours too, honey. If you don’t claim them, we’re getting a divorce.”
Sion frowns, pouting. Riku has to hold back the urge to laugh in his face.
“You’re mean,” he grumbles. “I need help.”
“They’re seventeen,” Riku reminds him. “They’ll sort themselves out in no time.”
That’s not exactly true, because both Ryo and Sakuya seemingly convert back to being elementary schoolers whenever they’re in Riku’s vicinity, what with the squabbling and teasing and roughhousing. But in the rest of their lives they are perfectly polite, well adjusted boys. Riku doesn’t know how they will ever live in peace, nor does he think they ever will.
But that’s just part of being in this… family…? Riku doesn’t think that’s the right word, mostly because he doesn’t actually fancy himself as paternal to the two gremlins who have made his life hell from the second they were born. But it’s close enough.
“I don’t think so…” Sion sighs, but he has seemingly accepted his fate.
Riku grins. “We can leave them on the side of the road once we land. How about that?”
He’s joking. Mostly. Mostly joking. But Sion’s frown breaks into a sly grin.
“Ah, Riku-chan,” he hums. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”
The next couple hours pass in relative peace. Riku hands out some bentos he and his aunt packed before they left and makes sure no one bickers over the ones they get. Sion ropes him into watching some new anime movie that he insists will be amazing, only for him to end up sobbing his eyes out halfway through because of how sad it ends up being.
“Ryo-chan,” Riku sighs, rubbing Sion on the back. “Do you have any tissues?”
“Yes, Nii-chan,” Ryo replies, sounding uncharacteristically polite since he’s busy dominating Sakuya in checkers on the little plane TV screens. He passes some over. “Here you go.”
Riku just takes them without hassle, ignoring when Sakuya kicks his seat again when he loses another round. He dabs at Sion’s eyes, smiling when Sion lets him. “You’re such a crybaby,” he coos. “It’s just a movie, hm? It’s not that sad.”
“Don’t bully me,” Sion complains, leaning in on Riku’s side, huddling in close. “It always makes me sad when there’s not a happy ending.”
As much as Sion appears to have his shit together, he is a simpleton about the oddest of things, sometimes surprisingly sensitive. Riku has gotten more used to it over these past few months, but sometimes Sion still surprises him.
“You’re cute,” Riku can’t help but smile, pulling him into a hug. The cabin is dark and most people are minding their own business, so he even dares to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “You’re just so handsome when you cry, hyung.”
Sion huffs. Riku smiles. So pouty.
“When did you turn out so mean, huh?” He complains. “You used to be so sweet to me. So shy and sweet. Sometimes I miss when you were too shy to look me in the eyes.”
It makes Riku laugh, like, genuinely laugh, at the idea of Sion missing when Riku was all flighty and nervous and red-faced. Back when he used to go off running the second Sion got close enough to take a good look at him.
Riku was so sweet because he was scared of Sion realizing he wouldn’t ever be good enough for him. Was terrified, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He hasn’t been like that since September, really, not since they finally met on that park bench.
Riku grins.
“That’s not true,” he teases. “You like me like this.”
He says it because it’s the truth. Because he’s seen it first hand, the way Sion grins at him when their eyes meet, the way he looks at him when he thinks no one else is looking, how hard he has worked to get Riku to open up to him and all the benefits he’s been reaping from it. All the teasing and I love yous and everything else. The millions of ways in which Sion can touch him and Riku doesn’t even squirm away anymore, now used to all the adoration being for him.
It used to be daunting. And it still is, every now and again. But being loved this thoroughly is nice. Makes him feel like a precious thing.
Sion reaches over to brush Riku’s bangs out of his eyes. Expression softening, tender. Breathes out a slow exhale. Says, “you’re right. I do.”
He’s so soft like this. Soft and wonderful and Riku’s. So Riku smiles. He can’t help it. He wipes at the rest of Sion’s tears and sneaks a kiss to his forehead.
“You’re stuck with me,” he promises. “I’m not going anywhere.”
-
They’re spending Christmas in California. Riku still isn’t sure how he feels about it.
In theory, it’s a good idea. He has let go of some of the baggage he has regarding his place in the States, and when his mom asked him to bring Sakuya and Ryo along, he thought it’d be fine. And when he asked his mom if he could bring along his “friend” and his friend’s brother, he also thought it’d be fine. Especially when she said yes.
(“Is he handsome?” She asked over the phone.
Riku had paused in his tracks from where he was reading over the day’s notes and stared down at his phone in confusion. “What,” he had said. It wasn’t a question.
“Your friend,” she says, like that was a given. “Is he a cutie?”
“Um,” Riku had said. “Relatively. I guess.”
His mom had just hummed, like that was all she needed to know in order to let a stranger stay at her house for two weeks. Riku hadn’t questioned it. Maybe he should have.)
Except now they’re touching down on San Francisco and the kids are oohing and ahhing as they look out of the window, down on the city, and Riku is kind of losing his shit. For no reason in particular, because he doesn’t even have any hang ups about this specific city - or most of California for that matter - but the chattering in English starts rising and Riku suddenly realizes that he’s not in Japan anymore.
He’s back home. His other home. As the sole translator and English-speaking guide of the group.
He has very little faith in his abilities.
It’s been a while since he’s been back; nearly a year. And it’s not that California isn’t home anymore, it’s just… well. He never thought he’d end up in Japan to build his life there, with his job and schooling and boyfriend and everything, except that’s exactly what he ended up doing. It’s weird because he never thought he’d end up being able to truly run away from California, always figuring that he’d end up waving his white flag in Japan and going back home.
Except Riku has a whole new life now, and it doesn’t rely on the dry heat of the California sun and the shade of redwood trees. He has everything he’s ever wanted and it’s all still so new. The pieces of him that still exist in NorCal are just… tattered remains. Of his old life and trauma and hurt.
So it makes him a little nervous to be back.
It’s not that he’s entirely guiltless in that, though. Riku hadn’t exactly been kind before he left. It was a tumultuous year, and he was more akin to a ticking time bomb than a 22-year-old, to his parents and coach and everyone at the club, anyone who had the audacity to look at him too closely. He had been the one to destroy everything himself, with his own two hands. And he was happy to do that. It felt good to burn his life to the ground, really. It did .
So maybe bringing Sion might’ve been a bad idea. Things are a lot different now than they were a year ago, but he's still not sure if he’s ready for his boyfriend to realize just how deep his pain goes. Or, how deep it went. He’s not sure if it’s all still there anymore; after all, things are better now. But his life is still far from perfect.
He’s still… he’s still lying about a few things. To everyone except Sion and himself and their friends.
Riku isn’t even out to anyone. The only people who know that he’s gay besides the kids are Yushi and the guys in Korea (as many of them have declared themselves to be Riku’s new gay mentors, much to Yuta’s displeasure). His parents think Sion is just a very good friend whom he hangs out with in a suspicious amount of date-worthy settings. Riku updates his Facebook, on occasion, with pictures of him taken by Sion or of the two of them while they’re out together, which isn’t an admittal but gives him the excuse that he’s not outright hiding, at the very least. If Sion hadn’t reassured him that he was alright with keeping their relationship a secret, he’s not sure if he'd be able to do any of this at all. He’s not sure that he would’ve been able to come back in the first place - Sion’s hand in his with a gentle reminder in his ear to breathe just makes this all so much easier.
“We just got here, jagi,” Sion says in a low voice as the plane comes to a stop and the overhead cabin lights turn on. “Don’t wear yourself out by worrying already.”
There are times when Riku has grown to despise the way Sion has so quickly learned to read him like a book, but this is not one of those times. Their relationship is built on the foundations of over-communication and being able to speak to each other without any words at all. It’s not… it’s not the worst thing in the world. To be so well understood, that is.
Riku exhales shakily and leans into his side.
“I just feel overwhelmed,” he admits. “I’m worried about keeping us a secret from my parents.”
That’s understating things - Riku is very worried about keeping them a secret from his parents. Sure, he snuck around plenty with other boys back when he was a teen under the guise of friendship, but this is completely different. Sion is his boyfriend who is in love with him, staying in his parents’ guest bedroom. Riku isn’t a very subtle person - or, at least, that’s what he’s been told - nor has he ever been great at keeping things from his mom. Especially after how strenuous the past few years have been on her, it feels… it feels wrong.
Ever since he’s started therapy, he’s been feeling like he owes them some genuine honesty, now that he’s doing better and is much less prone to running away from his feelings, both physically and metaphorically. He feels like he owes them his healing, at the very least, after everything they’ve done and sacrificed for him. And it’s still hard, being honest, but the smile that lights up his mom’s face every time he tells her that he’s happy is so, so worth it.
It’s just that coming out… the idea of that is still incomprehensible to him. Even though his parents have never been anything but unconditionally loving and supportive. It just feels like too big of a risk for him to take right now, not when he’s had to work so hard to pick up the pieces of his life over the past four months. Not when he’s already been in so much pain. He’s not sure if he can take any more of it.
“Ah, you worry so much,” Sion chides, running a hand down Riku’s back. His voice is gentle and soothing, like the tone you’d have with a small child. Riku used to hate it, because he’s not a child, but sometimes it just makes him feel safe. So Sion holds him close and is gentle, gentle, gentle, and it is not a bad thing.
“There’s a lot to worry about,” Riku mutters, but his shoulders untense when Sion smooths his hand over them. “I dunno if I’m ready, or if this was too soon, or if this will all go to shit-”
“Baby,” Sion hums. “Everything will be just fine, yeah? I wouldn’t be here unless you were sure of everything.” He sounds so certain when he says it, and he’s right, but Riku is still just… ugh. It’s a lot.
But he is right. He’s always right about things like this. He’s always the first one to point out when Riku is falling into self doubt, is always the one to drag him out of it. Riku has been thinking about this trip for months, has spent weeks catastrophizing every single aspect of it. He’s talked it through with everyone who would listen, has ran himself into the ground; if he’s not certain, at this point, then he’d be an idiot.
It’s still… it’s still a lot to take on. But Sion is right. He is.
“I guess,” Riku mumbles, shuffling as close to Sion as he can for some last minute comfort. He manages a smile when Sion pinches his cheek.
“We’ll be alright, sweetheart,” Sion tells him as it’s their turn to get off the plane. “Come on, let’s go do it together.”
It’s easier said than done. The chaos of SFO is… well. It’s not great, considering the fact that Riku is solely in charge of guiding them through it. His head goes a little dizzy with the onslaught of English, but he’s been in and out of this damn airport enough times to know his way around without having to pay much attention to the droning announcements overhead. He leads Ryo by the hand (he’s the smallest and easiest to lose) and does a headcount once they make it to the bag claim.
“It should be coming out any minute,” he tells them in Japanese, brain running through the English alphabet as he examines the information on the carousel. He really should’ve practiced more when he was abroad - he even got back into the habit of speaking to his parents in Japanese.
Sakuya and Ryo have never left Japan, whereas Sion and Daeyoung have only taken the relatively quick and painless trip between Japan and Korea. American customs is a different monster, what with the stress and restlessness of everyone there. Sion does the work of tracking down their bags while Riku brings the kids in for a group huddle.
“We have to go to customs next,” he tells them. “They’re going to ask questions, and you guys just need to be chill about it. Just tell them that we’re here for a family vacation and that’s it.”
“Do they speak Japanese?” Ryo asks, eyes wide.
“Um. Not really,” Riku says. “But you’ll be able to understand them, and I could tell them that I’m the translator if you really need-”
“I’m doing really well in English right now,” Sakuya brags, for some reason. “I’ll be able to get it no problem.”
Riku frowns, mostly because there is no fucking way that’s true but he also can’t really argue with him because they’re gonna be on their own anyway. “But-”
“Papago,” Daeyoung says. “I’m gonna use papago.”
And, well.
He really, really tried.
“Everything okay?” Sion asks when he’s done getting all their suitcases off of the carousel. “Briefed them all? No funny business, right?”
He’s acting all stern like he’s usually not the one who gets said funny business started, but Riku did really worry about them being kicked out of the country by messing around in customs, so he appreciates the gesture nonetheless. No matter how unconvincing Sion’s sternness is, judging by the mildly offended look on Sakuya’s face.
But:
“No funny business,” Ryo agrees sagely. “They have guns, right? I don’t want to be shot.”
Last time Riku checked, custom agents don’t shoot Japanese teenagers all willy nilly. But a little paranoia doesn’t hurt, not at all.
The customs line is long but they pass the time by getting excited about the drive down to Santa Cruz (“we’ll drive on the other side of the road! And see those big trees!”). His parents had offered to come pick them up, but Riku just told them not to worry. He has a car rental scheduled - that way he can show them a bit around the bay before they go. That gives his mom time to worry about the house and his dad to worry about food and him to worry about how the fuck he’s supposed to act all normal and platonic around his boyfriend for the next two weeks.
Sion is being pretty casual about all of it, seemingly unworried, but he’s also spent the weeks leading up to the trip trying to figure out how to sit next to Riku without trying to hold his hand, and that’s been a struggle. His record is thirty-two minutes before he caved and hooked their pinkies together.
So. Not great for either of them.
By the time they make it to the front of the line and through immigration - Sakuya visibly sweats when he’s asked how long he’s going to be in the country - the group is tired and hungry. Sion hands out the rest of their snacks and Riku has the time of his life trying to figure out how the fuck to get to the car rental agency.
“Avis… where the fuck is Avis…” he mutters to himself in English as he stares down all the shuttles passing by them outside the terminal. “Where the hell…”
It takes a quick google search and double checking his email to figure out that they’re supposed to take the airport tram to the rental place, which they begrudgingly do. It’s a little stressful, figuring that out, but Sion’s hand lands back on Riku’s shoulder and helps him talk it through, so it’s fine. They make it to goddamn Avis in one piece without losing any of their luggage.
“Riku Maeda,” he tells the front desk, passing his ID over. They sort through files and he has to sign through a million sheets of paperwork. By the time he gets the keys to a minivan in his hands, it’s been a whole half hour and everyone’s hungry again.
“Can we get In-n-Out?” Sakuya asks, clambering into the backseat as Sion loads the trunk. “I saw it on TikTok.”
“Sure,” Riku shrugs. He’s in the driver’s seat, reminding himself that he does know how to drive. “There’ll be a few on the way home.”
“How long’s the drive?” Daeyoung asks from the second seat.
“An hour and a half, give or take.” He passes the aux to the backseat before any squabbling starts up. “If any of you start arguing over EXO or SHINee again, I’m taking this away.”
All three of them chorus out their agreement. He smiles when Sion slides into the passenger seat with a huff.
“All packed,” he says. “Though some of your luggage is suspiciously heavy.”
“It’s the natto,” Ryo comments. “The natto and the mackerel tins.”
It’s a few more minutes of Riku setting up Carplay and plugging in his parents’ address and fielding questions left and right - no, there are not as many McDonald’s as you think there are - before he’s ready to get this show on the road.
“Are we all ready?” Riku asks. He squeezes Sion’s knee and puts the car in reverse.
“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Sion sighs. “Let’s go do this, huh?”
So then they’re off.
God. It’s kind of weird. It’s been years since Riku’s sped down the 101 like this, an entire year since he’s been back on this side of the Pacific. The kids roll down the backseat windows and blast EXO at full volume as Riku takes back in the sights of home. He hasn’t been down this way since back when he was first injured, talking with doctors up in San Francisco. Besides going to the airport, it’s been years since he’s left Santa Cruz.
He hasn’t talked to anyone from the club for over a year now, keeping to himself. He even looks different - less gaunt, more like a person. After the injury, he spent a year walking around like a shadow of himself. Things have changed and yet California is the same as ever and it’s… it’s fine, really. Just weird.
The kids are enthralled by the bay, watching the sun glimmer down on the murky water. Riku gives in to their demands for In-n-Out sometime before they hit San Jose, and they’re all gobsmacked by the sheer size of a burger and the state of animal-style fries. It’s so beyond strange to say that Riku has genuinely missed American burgers, the kind that clog your arteries, but he’s never felt more content than when he bites into his and smiles.
“This is good,” Sion mutters to himself. “Scary, but good.”
“You won’t believe the kind of stuff we have here,” Riku laughs. “We’re just getting started.”
He orders some large sodas which blow their minds even further, and makes sure to get them all hats before they leave (he takes a million photos of them in their little In-n-Out paper caps for his mom and his aunt). They stop by a 7/11 to go to the bathroom which leaves them all absolutely reeling, confused and slightly scared. The snacks are so different from Japan! Sakuya hollers. What the fuck is a Pringles! There’s no onigiri, no sandos, none of the desserts they’re so familiar with. The culture shock is kind of funny.
“It’s so weird, huh?” Riku grins, showing them the hot food case. “Look, they sell pizza and chicken.”
“Pizza?” Ryo with wide eyes. “Is it good? Should we get it?”
Riku doesn’t know how to break the news to him that American pizza is very different from Japanese pizza, not to mention that 7/11 pizza is just about as worse as it gets. So he shrugs.
“It’s alright,” Riku says. “But we can get you some better pizza when we get home.”
By the time they’re back on the road, it’s sinking into the late afternoon and the sun is slowly lowering over the sky. San Jose races past them and the kids stick their faces to the windows and stare.
“It really is weird being on the other side of the road,” Sakuya sighs. “Right, Daeng?”
“No, this is what it’s like in Korea,” Daeyoung tells him. “You guys are the weird ones.”
By the time they get to Santa Cruz, Riku is feeling particularly nostalgic. The sycamores and pine trees dot the forests as they pass the redwoods with awe etched over all of their faces. It’s just so different from Tokyo. He’s only lived here since he was thirteen, and yet NorCal has grown to be home for him, too. Despite everything.
“Do you think we’ll see any guns?” Sakuya asks. “Think we’ll see anyone get shot?”
“That’s not-” Riku frowns. “It’s not actually-”
“Hopefully not,” Sion says cheerfully. He’s taking videos as they make their way through the backroads, roads winding between looming trees. “It’s not as cool as the movies, Saku.”
“Then why do the movies make it look cool?” Ryo asks. “Why own a gun at all?”
“I dunno, guys!” Riku cuts them off before they get into existential American politics. “Look, big trees!”
They pull up to the Maeda house sometime after the sun sinks down under the horizon, around two hours after landing. Riku is tired of driving and fielding questions and he nearly groans in relief when he pulls into the driveway, half-nervous at the sight of his own house, but mostly just glad that the long drive’s all over.
“Alright, we’re here,” he says as he puts the car in park. “Get your stuff and head on in. I wanna talk to your hyung for a minute.”
His tone leaves no room for argument, and Sion sends him a sideways smile, squeezing his hand. The kids chorus out their agreement and are quick to pile out of the van, talking about seeing their Oba-san and how dry the air is. They always listen whenever Riku gets into a mood, not wanting to hang around for when the inevitable therapy talk starts back up again.
Riku sighs and rests his forehead down on the steering wheel. Sion laces their fingers together.
“Might die,” Riku complains. “With the stress and the tennis and everything.”
He knows that this trip will entail going back to the club; his mom was insistent that he had to go visit his old proteges. Which is fine, in itself, it’s just… it’s a lot when it’s piled on top of everything else. The secrets. Riku doesn’t fancy himself a liar, not anymore, but he feels like one whenever he’s too scared to hold Sion’s hand while they’re in public.
It’s a matter of safety, he tells himself. I’m doing this to survive.
(Riku has never felt very convincing to anyone, let alone himself.)
“You’ll be okay, jagi,” Sion promises. He leans over the middle console to press a kiss to Riku’s temple. “We’ll get through it together, hm? Just one day at a time, right?”
He sounds convinced of himself when he says it. Like he really believes that Riku will be okay and that this can be an easy, simple thing for the both of them. Riku’s not exactly sure when his boyfriend started spouting therapy jargon at him, but he, as always, is grateful for Sion’s ability to stay calm even when the stress is eating him alive; after all, Riku wasn’t the only one who was worried about this trip. But Sion has always been his rock even in the best of times, always going the extra mile during the worst.
“We will,” Riku nods. He pulls Sion in by the collar of his sweatshirt to give him a proper kiss. “You’ll stick with me. Right, hyung?”
He’s not asking because he’s doubtful, but because Sion always likes to indulge him with these inane promises. And this time is no different. Sion smiles against his lips.
“Yes, baby,” he says. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”
By the time the two of them are ready to separate and face the chaos awaiting them, Ryo has already flown into the house to greet his beloved aunt and uncle. Riku is helping Sion get the last of everything out of the trunk when there’s the yell of, “Oba-san!”
“Good god,” Riku mutters to himself in English, maybe not ready for this after all.
“Oh, look,” Sion says, sounding amused. “There’s your mom.”
In the doorway is, indeed, Riku’s mom - who has Ryo wrapped up in one arm and Sakuya wrapped up in the other. Daeyoung looks extremely out of his depth as Riku’s mom storms down the porch step and hollers: “Riku-chan! There you are!”
“Mom,” Riku sighs, watching her stomp over to him, leaving the two teens behind. She’s quick to fly down the driveway and pull him into a hug. “Mom.”
She’s squeezing him tight, suffocatingly so. “I missed my boy,” she coos in Japanese. Riku’s mom is about half a foot shorter than him, and yet her grip on his shoulders is ferocious. “It’s already been a year since I’ve seen your cute face, hm? Did you miss me?”
Riku’s ears go red when he notices everyone’s eyes on him, but he relaxes into her hold anyway. Even he has to admit that it’s been way too long since he’s seen her.
“I did,” he mumbles. “I missed you a lot.”
“Welcome back,” she says, pinching his cheek. “It’s about time you came home.”
It’s touching to hear after so long away, but Riku’s mom, of course, undercuts that with the teasing lilt to her voice. She’s only grown more mischievous since he’s been gone.
“And is this handsome boy the famous Sion-san?” She asks when she pulls away, turning to gaze at Sion with a meaningful look in her eyes. “I already met Daeyoung-kun, he’s such a sweetie.”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m Sion,” his boyfriend smiles. “I’m Daeyoung’s brother.”
And Riku’s mom, naturally, is taken immediately by his charms. It’s his stupid smile, Riku thinks, all furious. It’s because he’s so devastatingly handsome.
“You’re even better looking than my Riku said you would be!” She exclaims, and Riku frowns hard. Sion’s grin widens.
“Thank you, Oba-san,” he bows. “Thank you for inviting us here.”
Riku kind of wishes he wasn’t so fucking polite and well-mannered, because that’s the kind of guy who gets people fawning over him. His aunt is always asking him to bring around his “handsome friend,” and now his mom will do the same. He’ll never know peace ever again.
“Nonsense,” his mom coos. “Call me Okaa-san, hm? You take such good care of our Riku.”
That gets a smug kind of grin stretching across Sion’s face as he nods. “Okay, Okaa-san,” he says. “Thank you again.”
God. Riku’s face turns a furious shade of red and he casts his eyes down at the ground. Sion calls her mother so naturally… like a son-in-law…
“Your father’s in the kitchen,” she says breezily, patting Riku on the shoulder and pretending like none of this is embarrassing at all. “Let’s go greet him, hm? He misses you, Ku-chan.”
The childhood nickname gets him to soften as he shares a look with his boyfriend, who only looks happy to be there as his mom stomps off without even waiting to hear his response.
“Your mom is-”
“A character, I know,” Riku sighs. “My dad is worse.”
His parents are a very specific kind of crazy that probably stems from them willing to locate to a different country just for their son’s tennis career, but it’s not like he loves them any less. They just get… over zealous, maybe. In the time after his injury, it made everything so strained. They just love to hover, love to meddle, and Riku could only take so much before he snapped. Over and over again.
So he feels a little bad when Sion smiles, eyes crinkling. “They just missed you, Riku.”
He knows that already, of course. If they had it their way, he never would’ve left the club or California. The fact that his aunt was willing to take him in in Tokyo was the only thing that allowed him to leave without a major fight. It was a bit of a betrayal, leaving them after everything they’ve sacrificed for his happiness.
He’s worked his whole life to give everything he can back to them, but there’s still days where he’s unsure if he ever could.
“You’re right,” Riku sighs. He suppresses the urge to take Sion’s hand. “I guess they really have missed me.”
It’s not long before Riku’s mom is chiding at them to hurry on up, so Sion manhandles their luggage into the house while Riku trails after everyone else to go say hi to his dad. The house already smells like dashi, and by the time Riku makes it to the kitchen, his dad’s already waiting for him.
“Ah, there you are,” his dad grins when Riku enters. “Look at you. All grown up.”
“What are you saying,” Riku mumbles, cheeks red, doing the dutiful thing by going in for a hug. He feels incredibly awkward as he does so, glaring when Ryo whips out his phone camera to film the tender moment.
“You’re taller,” his dad says, rocking them back and forth once Riku’s in his arms. “Taller, more handsome, more like an adult-”
“I’ve always been an adult!” Riku squirms away, making his dad laugh. “It’s only been a year!”
“And you still act like a teenager, Riku,” his dad pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. “So mean to your old man.”
Riku pretends to grumble, but can’t help but smile when his dad ruffles his hair. It’s nice to be back, after all.
Things hadn’t been like this when he left, this easy and cheery. No, that was back when Riku was still beyond bitter about everything, still carrying around that massive chip on his shoulder that took months of therapy to finally will away. It’s still there, sometimes, on bad days. He hadn’t… he hadn’t been nice to his parents, not really. He was so tired of their worry, tired of their help. He was so insistent that he was broken and unfixable. He couldn’t stand the fact that they loved him. Couldn’t stand the fact that anyone loved him.
He hadn’t heard his dad laugh after the injury until sometime after he started dating Sion, when Riku could finally face his parents over Facetime with a smile and stomach the sound of their joy again. When he could finally stomach the idea of being something they were proud to love.
And since then, things have been good. Really good.
(Scary, sure, but good.)
He’d give anything to never make his parents feel like that ever again, helpless and unloved. He still remembers hearing his mom cry herself to sleep between their shared bedroom wall and his dad’s stoic expression across the dining room table. Riku couldn’t relive that even if he had to.
So he can’t help but grin when his dad cups his cheek and smiles at him, full of joy. Full of love.
“You look happier, Riku,” he says. “You really do.”
Riku can feel his smile turn shy. “I am.”
The tender moment lasts about two seconds before there’s a loud crashing sound coming from the foyer, followed by “SHIT” in Korean.
“Is that Sion-kun?” His mom asks, admonished. “You impolite boy, did you make him carry everything by himself!”
“You’re the one who told me to hurry!” Riku complains, ears red from being scolded in front of the kids. His dad levels him with an unimpressed look.
“Oi, don’t make your friend do all the work,” he chides. “Put those muscles to use.”
Riku pouts as his parents go off to inspect the ruckus. The three triplets stare him down with varying degrees of judgement.
Ryo starts, “you-”
“You, of all people, don’t get to say anything,” Riku frowns. And then he goes off to his parents when Ryo lets out a, “Hey! That’s not fair!”
He’s met with the sight of Sion standing red-faced in the foyer, seemingly having been trying to juggle both Ryo and Riku’s suitcases and failing miserably. Sion is strong, but he’s not strong enough to combat the sheer amount of skincare products the two cousins have stuffed their luggages with, as aided by Riku’s aunt under the guise that your mom needs something better than that American garbage, Ku-chan!
“Sorry for the crash,” Sion apologizes with a bow, beet red. “I wasn’t thinking-”
“Ah, don’t worry, Riku should’ve been there to help,” Riku’s dad clicks his tongue. He helps Sion set the luggage upright. “It’s nice to meet you, Sion-san. You treat our Riku well, yes?”
Riku’s not sure what kind of question that is, like his dad’s going to give his blessing for marriage when it’s just… just Sion. Just a friend. As far as his parents know.
They’ve always been a little strict about who he hangs out with, especially if they were guys. Always didn’t like anyone from outside the club or his high school. They never even thought that he was dating any of the girls he was friends with, but the minute another boy pulled up to the house, they’d start interrogating him.
His dad hated all of the guys he liked, whenever he’d bring one of them over. Impolite troublemakers, he’d call them, staring them down with judgement. But at least he looks at Sion with an easy smile, not the slightest hint of judgement in his eyes.
(...Though they definitely were impolite troublemakers, for the record. This may or may not be Riku’s first time falling for someone as good as Sion.)
“I try my best to treat him well,” Sion bows, visibly sweating. “Riku-kun is stubborn, but I really try.”
And that’s such bullshit if he’s ever heard it, because last time he checked, Sion was the far more stubborn one out of the two of them. Riku is about to interject, indignant - who are you calling stubborn! - but his dad just laughs.
“He really is, huh,” his dad shakes his hand. “We’re glad to have you here, Sion-san.”
Sion bows again, face still red, and Riku feels himself soften. Albeit indirectly, it’s nice to have his parents’ approval.
After that, things get a little bit tamer, you could say. Dinner is just about ready and Riku’s mom has set up the bedrooms for them, so she gives them a little tour. Ryo and Sakuya get stuck together, of course, and Daeyoung and Sion take the second guest bedroom. Riku knows that he should’ve expected them having to separate, but that doesn’t make him any happier about it. He sulks around when Sion puts his stuff in Daeyoung’s room.
“We can still cuddle before bed,” Sion says to him in a low voice when he sees the pout on Riku’s face. “Cheer up, hm? I’ll still make sure you get all your kisses in.”
Riku knows that Sion’s saying it for his own sake as much as Riku’s, if not more - Sion is the clingier one of the two of them by far - but he appreciates it all the same. He slumps into Sion’s side when his mom leaves them to help the kids put their stuff away.
“I want more than kisses,” Riku murmurs to him. “I want a lot more than kisses.”
He’s only saying the truth, but he delights in the way a blush dusts Sion’s cheeks, face pink. He’s so easy.
“Not with your parents around, sweetheart,” Sion says, trying to be firm, but he has that guilty look on his face like he wants the very same thing Riku does. He won’t be hard to persuade. “You need to behave.”
“I will,” Riku grins, already knowing that he won’t. He can absolutely get Sion to defile him in his childhood bed if he only asks politely. It’s never hard to get him to cave, not when Riku starts pouting or calling him hyung in a pointedly obnoxious, cutesy voice, insistent; Sion never says no to him, not really, not about anything that Riku demands from him.
He’s easy like that and Riku loves it. Loves him.
His smile must be suspicious, because Sion frowns. “I mean it,” he says, pinching Riku at the hip. “I want you on your best behavior.”
(Riku nods, but makes no actual promises.)
It doesn’t take long before they’re called down for dinner, his dad serving the nabe mille feuille that Riku asked him to make for them a few days ago. It tastes heavenly, as expected, even better because his dad made it. His mom grills Daeyoung and Sion over how good their Japanese is (she almost faints when Sion tells her he’s working on her PhD, as any Asian mom would), and Riku is too jet lagged and a little drunk on the familiar flavors of home to help them out much. Besides, Sion could charm his way out of anything with that smile of his. He was so worried that Riku’s parents wouldn’t like him, but they’re already taken with the idea of their son having a friend with a masters from the University of Tokyo.
Whereas the rest of the table…
“It’s good, Oji-san!” Sakuya reports happily, slurping down pork and lettuce and soup. He looks outrageously pleased with his meal, even though they had In-n-Out not that long ago.
“It’s really good!” Ryo agrees, inhaling his food at the speed of light.
“Thank you, kiddos,” his dad grins. “We gotta keep you two well fed, hm? What’s your favorite thing to eat?”
So Riku watches, amused, as the kids pull his dad into a familiar bread and sweets-loving tirade, waxing poetry about their favorite Japanese bakeries and Riku’s credit card. They haven’t had to pay for their own meals since he’s gotten back to Japan, can you believe that? And they act like Riku does it out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s constantly being blackmailed by a pair of teenagers.
“Ah, you kids really never change,” his dad laughs. “You’ve always looked up to Riku, haven’t you?”
They nod, innocent expressions on their faces, and Riku fights himself to not stir up a scene. The less drama, the better.
Dinner stretches on but everyone’s exhausted and ready to pass out, so eventually Riku’s dad dismisses them so they don’t fall head-first into their soups. Ryo, for one, starts nodding off the second he’s done eating. Sion tries to do the dishes but Riku’s mom shoos him away, telling all of them to go to bed.
Sion frowns. “But I-”
“Sion-kun, you’ve been looking after a gaggle of kids all day!” She not-so-subtly shoves him out of the kitchen. “Go rest!”
So the five of them trudge upstairs, ready to hit the hay. The kids all fall face-first into their beds, airport clothes and all. Gross.
“You’re not going to bed without cuddling, right?” Riku asks Sion before he can join Daeyoung in their room. “I miss you.”
He’s still getting into the habit of being earnest to Sion, but it’s easier when he’s tired like this and his boyfriend looks so soft in his sweatshirt and Riku just really wants to press his face into his collarbone and fall asleep there. And Sion grins when he asks, tangling their fingers together, so being sincere like this isn’t all that bad.
“Of course,” he says. “Go lay down, I’ll be right there.”
Riku pouts at being separated for even one second - he’s never been deprived of kisses like this in his life - but listens anyway. He goes to his room and flops down into bed, sighing in relief when he feels the texture of his favorite childhood comforter under his hands. Mm. Squishy American mattress. Nice.
It smells like his mom’s laundry detergent and the signature scent of home, and it feels like a big comfort after being in that damn plane for so long. They had two layovers and the kids spent the past two days driving him insane. He’s about to fall asleep, tucked into the sheets, when Sion pokes his head in.
“Riku?” He asks. His expression softens when he sees Riku curled up in bed, tucked under his blanket up to his nose. “Ah, you sleepy boy.”
“C’mere,” Riku yawns. He makes grabby hands at his boyfriend and Sion, of course, comes over to him. Slips under the sheets with his long legs. Riku grins when he’s wrapped up in his arms. “There we go. Thank you, hyung.”
“You’re so cute,” Sion laughs, letting Riku wrap his arms around his shoulders and cling on. “And I like your room. It’s very you.”
Riku’s too sleepy to take much stock of things, but he supposes that’s true. His walls are mostly bare, having taken down most of his decorations long before he moved to Japan, but there’s pieces of him strewn around. There’s a few Shonen Jumps on the nightstand along with a Kirby plushie sitting atop his keyboard, a Kuromi keychain still hanging from a thumbtack next to the light switch. His desk has a few old photo albums strewn across it, his mom’s doing - there’s pictures of him in his tennis gear, a wide grin stretched across his face. Most of them from high school, when he was a little ganglier and more awkward.
“It’s been a while,” Riku mutters, hiding his face in Sion’s neck. “I’m different now.”
He is. He had ripped down all of the tennis memorabilia off his walls, a year ago, feeling as if it was all mocking him. Haunting him while he was asleep. He threw a lot of it away, even the things he shouldn’t have. It’s taken Riku a year to see a tennis match on TV without fear filling his veins, but things are different now. He can stomach the feeling of a racket in his hand again. There’s no terror in his dreams, not like there used to be. There’s no court waiting for his blood to be spilled, demanding for his pain. There’s nothing all that bad at all.
He’s different.
(He’s better.)
“‘M proud of you,” Sion mumbles, pressing a kiss to his forehead. His voice has gone soft, tired, sleepy. He yawns. “You’re so brave, aren’t you? You came back.”
Riku never felt particularly brave when he was on that plane ride, nor did he feel like someone worthy of pride, but he supposes that Sion is right. Riku from a year ago wouldn’t have been able to stand on the court without the need to vomit. He wouldn’t have been able to bring a boyfriend home to meet his parents. He wouldn’t have been able to come back at all.
“I guess so,” Riku hums, eyes falling closed. Sion pinches his ear.
“I love you,” he says. “You’re the bravest person I know.”
Being brave doesn’t always mean something, not to Riku. After all, he’s built his life around his fear; bravery is the only thing he really has, sometimes. But the way Sion says it makes him feel strong. It makes him feel like he’s worthy of all this love and pride, like he’s worked for it hard enough for him to deserve it. And he has. He’s really, really worked for it.
The past four months have been fucking hard. They’ve been fucking painful. It’s been a lot of therapy sessions he feels worse leaving because he had to rip a truth out of himself, a lot of times where he wondered if fighting through the pain was worth it if it meant he had to be in more pain in order to be fixed. But he’s done it. He’s not done, certainly, but he’s done it so far.
Riku used to think that it was Sion who did it, who made him brave, but now he kind of thinks that it was himself. Sion was a catalyst of sorts, showing him a glimmer of hope, but it was Riku who did all the work and the hard shit and talking about everything he refused to voice for so long. It was Riku who sat down in therapy and said I am worthy, I am worthy, I do not feel worthy but I am worthy . It is Riku who takes his meds, who looks in the mirror, who smiles at himself when he sees his reflection as he walks down the street. It was Riku, the whole time, this past year. Even when he had no one but himself - his cruel, wicked self - at least he had himself.
In the end, it was Riku who came back. And maybe he wouldn’t have been able to come back without Sion by his side. But it was Riku who did it nonetheless.
His parents missed him. They didn’t miss the old version of him, but the new one who smiles when people compliment him. Who can stand being looked at, who doesn’t flinch when people ask him for his name. He’s home again and California hasn’t been home for a year, but he’s back and it doesn’t feel so bad. Riku is brave. He likes being brave.
“Thank you for coming with me,” he mumbles, not knowing what else to say. He likes laying here with Sion, even if it’s only for a little while. “You make everything easier, sometimes. Thank you, hyung.”
Sion runs a hand down his back, touch gentle and lazy like he’s falling asleep. “Silly boy,” he murmurs. “Hyung will always be here for you.”
Riku lays there and listens to his boyfriend’s pulse as they curl up together in his childhood bed. Sion has followed him to a different continent, has held his hand through it all.
Coming back really hasn’t been so bad after all.