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“Okay, that was rather a…” Jack’s voice petered out as he glanced around the gate room that wasn’t quite a gate room. “Bumpy ride. Carter.”
She made a slow turn. “I can’t explain it, sir. Daniel dialed home.”
“Just like I always do.”
“Yet, this doesn’t look like home to me.”
“It is not our world,” Teal’c agreed.
They all stared at the Stargate behind them, prominently placed in a sunny, flower-bedecked, open-air pavilion centered inside a large, multi-windowed building that soared into the air. The pavilion held only a scattering of people who didn’t seem at all surprised by their sudden appearance.
“Oh, my God?” All of SG-1 whirled around at the squeal. “It’s you, it’s really you!” A teenage girl appeared seemingly out of nowhere, eyes wide and staring. “Oh, Dr. Jackson, can I have your autograph?” Whipping out a phone, she snapped a quick picture. “Oh, my God, Fortuna’s just gonna die! She’s not gonna believe this! I’ve never missed a single episode of your show and I’ve read all your books, even the ones I didn’t understand. And not just because we had to for school or anything. You are like so cool!”
“Excuse me?” It seemed only Jack was capable of speaking; the rest of SG-1 had apparently been rendered speechless by what could only be described as a fawning fan. “You know Daniel?”
“Daniel? You call him Daniel? You must be like tight with him or something. Are you his bodyguard? I read in The Enquirer that he got mobbed in LA once and they had to call out the riot police to rescue him. And some girl got a lock of his hair and that’s why he had to cut it off.” Obviously struck with a sudden idea, she bounded toward Daniel with a predatory gleam in her eye and an eager hand delving into a hip-bouncing purse only to be stopped by a large hand.
“You will not touch Daniel Jackson.”
“Oh, God, you call him Daniel Jackson! That is like so cute.”
Jack turned away with a glazed look. “Carter, can I assume this is one of those alternate reality universe thingies?”
“I think so, sir. Although how it happened, I can only speculate.” She glanced behind her. “And I’m assuming the Stargate isn’t a secret here?” She fixed her eyes on the still gawking teenager, who shot her a scorned look.
“Everybody knows about the Stargate.” She wisely left off the words she was dying to voice about idiots.
“Humor us,” Jack suggested. “Pretend we’re from out of town, Miss…?”
“Terralin. Terralin Stowe,” she sighed heavily, her voice taking on a monotone as if she were reading aloud. “On June 16th, 1997, Dr. Daniel Jackson gave a speech at the Grand Hotel in Los Angeles, California and offered irrefutable proof that life on Earth was far older than anyone had ever imagined. He displayed an artifact he called a ribbon device that he’d discovered in Egypt that had been carbon-dated by two independent sources as 10,000 years old.” She took a quick breath. “The following week, The National Enquirer published a series of photographs and Air Force documents smuggled out of a secret complex beneath Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, that showed a large ring of stone that was also carbon dated from the same general time period. Give or take a couple of hundred years. President Hayes was forced to admit that the government had been trying for two years to figure out what kind of a weapon it was.”
The smile she gave Daniel was blinding. “Dr. Daniel Jackson was called and, in two weeks time, he had opened the Stargate and introduced inter-planetary travel. Then Dr. Jackson was on the cover of all the cool magazines like People and TV Guide and even the ones for smart people, too. The Air Force took over operating the Stargate and teams began making trips to other planets.” She looked with satisfaction at Daniel.
“I didn’t go? I mean, he didn’t go?” Daniel finally found his voice, which unfortunately caused the young girl to go quite glassy-eyed. “Terralin?” He prodded gently.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that voice. To hear it live… Um, no, you didn’t go through the gate; the President said you were too valuable an asset to endanger.” She spared Jack a withering glance. “They sent soldiers instead because they were used to, like, shooting and stuff.”
“So Daniel became a big hero?” Jack’s tone suggested he found this extremely hard to believe.
“Oh, yeah. Everyone got into archaeology. They re-released the Indiana Jones movies in the theaters, even the crappy second one. I have the special edition box set with Dr. Jackson doing the commentary.”
“Shouldn’t you be in school or something?” Jack inquired dismissively.
“I ditched today to go shopping, just hang out. Besides, I didn’t do my English homework. Fortuna was too chicken. She’s just gonna…”
“Die. Yes, I know.” Jack interrupted, reluctant to face yet another eye-batting smile.
“Dr. Jackson.” They all turned to look at the group bearing down on them with obvious intent, led by a harried young man in a glaring gold suit. He sighed heavily. “I know you just like to get away from it all and try to be a normal person but how many times do I have to tell you that doesn’t work? I mean, honestly, the uniform is just tacky and the weapons? They aren’t even a good fake.” He sneered openly at Jack before eyeing the teenager. “Run along, young lady, before I turn you in to the authorities.” Her reply was an answering sneer and a last autograph request before she was hustled away, snapping one last picture before flouncing away.
“Now, come along, Dr. Jackson.” He found his hand batted away by a large Jaffa.
“You will not touch Daniel Jackson.”
“Okay, so you’ve got yourself a new bodyguard. Great. But weren’t you supposed to be…” he consulted a hand-held device, “briefing a Pentagon committee half an hour ago?”
Jack stepped forward. “This is gonna be kind of hard to believe, but I think if you check, you’ll find the good doctor exactly where you left him. Your Dr. Jackson. This one,” he thumbed over his shoulder, “belongs to us.”
The man looked nonplussed. “Two of them? There are two of them?”
“Carter,” Jack gestured her forward.
“Hi, um…”
“Jameson Stevens the Third. I’m Dr. Jackson’s personal assistant.” He was still openly eyeing Daniel. “Are you sure he isn’t ours? The resemblance is amazing.”
“Actually, he’s identical to your Dr. Jackson because he is Dr. Daniel Jackson. From another reality. See, the theory is…”
“Carter,” Jack interrupted. “I have a sneaking suspicion you’re just gonna have to repeat your story to someone else so why don’t you,” he swung back to Stevens, “take me to your leader.” He grinned wickedly. “I’ve always wanted to say that!”
*
SG-1 found themselves being herded out of the pavilion and into the lobby of the glass-enclosed building; Stevens hadn’t stopped chatting on the phone since they’d met. He persisted in sliding surreptitious glances at Daniel who smiled weakly back at him.
None of them could ignore the fact that nearly everyone they passed stared openly at Daniel and his team.
“Okay, wait here.” He pointed out a small sitting area partially hidden by a low glass wall before looking Daniel over one last time. “Amazing, simply amazing.”
“Daniel?”
Daniel winced at Jack’s tone. “Jack? Something I can do for you?”
“Care to explain all this?” He waved his hand expansively.
“I don’t know any more about this than you do.”
“Actually, sir, I’d be willing to bet that this Daniel followed a very similar timeline, right up until he gave that speech.”
“I never found a ribbon device in Egypt.” Daniel pointed out.
“Okay, that’s probably where the timeline forked off. But, Daniel, aren’t you the least bit curious? About this you?”
“Daniel’s just afraid he’s gonna be a jerk in this reality.”
“Just because you were a major pain in every reality…”
“And got killed…” Jack added.
“Is no reason to believe that in this reality, I will be anyone but my own sweet self.” Daniel smiled broadly.
Jack just couldn’t let it go. “Actually, Daniel, with this level of celebrity…”
“In magazines, it is often reported that after achieving fame, even the best-natured of people tend to become isolated and self-absorbed.” Teal’c offered under the guise of helpfulness.
“So, that’d be no change for Daniel.” Jack sniped.
“Oh, my…” The familiar voice tailed off and they all turned to stare at Daniel.
Just not their Daniel. This Daniel was wearing a tailored, charcoal grey suit with a red silk tie sporting a discreetly winking tie tack and a matching red silk pocket square. He didn’t seem quite as muscular as their Daniel, leaning more toward the slender side as a heavy gold watch loosely spanned his left wrist. His well-cut hair was longer than their Daniel’s and curled just a bit over the collar. The blue eyes were unencumbered with glasses but the expression was eerily familiar.
“Hi, I’m…” he extended his hand, his face coloring just a bit. “Of course you know who I am. You…I mean, me...I mean….this is just weird.”
Daniel leaned forward and shook hands with himself. “Relax, we’ve done the alternate reality thing before. Sam could explain it. Oh, sorry.” He quickly introduced his team.
“Why don’t we step in here? You can get comfortable and tell us all about this alternate reality. It’s fascinating, isn’t it?”
Jack watched the two Daniels walk toward the door. “Fascinating isn’t the word I’d use.”
*
Jack was convinced there was something about this alternate reality thing that messed with the brain; he’d had a headache ever since they’d come through the gate. And he was blaming it squarely on the two Daniels. They’d huddled up in a corner together and had been there for the best part of the day. Even Carter, after her technical expertise was exhausted, had abandoned them for the elegant and well-appointed buffet table.
“Carter, what’s our time limit here? You know, before the two Daniels start to become four?”
“It’s usually forty-eight hours, sir.” She glanced at her watch. “We’re just over ten right now.”
He sighed loudly. “Honestly? I don’t think I can take thirty-eight more hours of this, can you?”
She shook her head ruefully. “No, sir, I don’t believe I can. They’re bound to run down before then, surely?”
“One can only hope, Carter.” With a groan, Jack refilled his coffee and proceeded to wade into the fray.
“So, what’s with the glasses?” Daniel inquired.
“Oh, well, the show directors kept having trouble shooting my scenes, because they glare and reflect and everything so they talked me into having laser surgery.”
Stevens inserted. “After Dr. Jackson’s surgery, the medical field reported a fifty-two percent rise in the number of scheduled laser surgeries, since he was kind enough to let a documentary crew film the surgery. Sociologists now refer to it as ‘the Jackson effect.’”
“You let them film your surgery?” Jack’s voice was tinged with horror.
“Well, they said it would be good for people who really needed the surgery to see how easy it was and that it didn’t hurt at all. You should try it,” he advised his counterpart.
Daniel shuddered. “I can’t quite get past the fact that someone would be shooting a laser beam at my eye.”
“And, of course, the female fans preferred Dr. Jackson without the glasses. Although there was initially quite an uproar when he cut his hair, the show’s ratings rose by four percentage points.”
Dr. Jackson’s face colored again. “They keep saying stuff like that. But my publicist tells me they do that to sell magazines and stuff. It doesn’t really mean anything.” He confided innocently.
“Yeah, right.” Jack drawled. “So you’ve sold a few books, have you?”
“Dr. Jackson’s latest book ‘Beyond the Pyramids’ has sold, to date, forty-seven million copies world wide.” Stevens smirked. “Knocked that wizard kid right off the best seller list.”
“Jameson.” Dr. Jackson scolded him softly. “It’s not a competition. I’m just glad people find history as exciting and educational as I do. It’s very gratifying.”
“Yes, it certainly is.” He managed to maintain a straight face as he agreed. “You’re doing a great service, Dr. Jackson.”
“And that’s all that matters.”
“Yes.” Stevens glanced at his watch. Dr. Jackson caught the look and frowned. “I know, Dr. Jackson, but you really cannot reschedule this again.”
Dr. Jackson sighed heavily and rose. “As much as I’d love to stay and pick your brain further…”
Daniel grinned wickedly. “Don’t you mean your brain?”
The ensuing smiles were identical. “Yes, wouldn’t it be great? However, I really do have to meet with the network executives in the morning. If I let them have their way, they come up with these really bizarre ideas for subjects for me to tackle. And I understand from your Major Carter that staying much longer would be detrimental for both of us.”
Sam shuddered. “Entropic cascade failure. Trust me, neither of you want to experience that firsthand.”
“Then I suppose this is good-bye. Are you sure you can get home safely?” Dr. Jackson frowned.
“We’re going to gate back to the planet we came from and see if the elevated levels in the electromagnetic field can be overcome. Sam will figure it out.” Daniel said confidently.
Dr. Jackson offered his hand to Daniel’s team before vigorously hugging his double. He was still muttering, “Amazing, simply amazing,” as he was herded away.
Stevens stepped up. “Dr. Jackson asked me to escort you to the Stargate and make sure you got home okay.”
“Listen, Stevens, can you do me a favor?”
“I’ll certainly try, Colonel O’Neill.”
“Dial me up on your little box there and see where I am in this reality.” He shook his head at Sam’s expression. “Ah, come on, Carter, don’t you want to know where you are here?”
“Hmm, Colonel Jonathan O’Neill.” He paused. “Oh, dear.”
“I’m dead, aren’t I? I knew it; I’m always dead in these other realities.” Jack griped. “Spill it, Stevens.”
“Um, Colonel Jonathan O’Neill was stoned to death by a native on an early mission, making him the first person officially to be listed as KOW, killed off world.”
“Oh, goodie!” Jack preened. “Look up Carter.”
“Dr. Samantha Carter is currently employed by World Biotech; she is listed as being on the team that developed the supercomputer that enabled the gate to be dialed the first time.”
“And?” Sam blinked at him. “That’s all? I’m not working at Stargate Command?”
“Why would you be?” Stevens was mystified.
“Someone needs to keep the gate going, figure out how….stuff works. Who runs the computer and…stuff?”
“We, that is to say, Dr. Jackson discovered that a device he nicknamed the DHD was necessary to dial the gate. One of the early teams brought one home from a deserted planet. We don’t really need the computer to dial anymore.”
“Oh,” Sam couldn’t help but feel deflated. “Well.”
“Do not despair, Major Carter. We will need your expertise if we are to return home safely.”
Sam brightened. “Hey, that is right. You guys need me.”
*
General Hammond slowly shook his head. “I must say, this has to be one of the most interesting debriefings I’ve ever encountered. Dr. Jackson, how are you doing with all this? Meeting yourself, or another you, in another reality?”
“It was fascinating, General. I mean, he was me, but then he wasn’t me.”
“I don’t know, I saw a lot of similarities.” Jack inserted.
“Well, I mean, physically, we were pretty identical.”
“No, I mean, neither of you have a clue. He didn’t know they were exploiting him for his looks.”
“I don’t know what you mean, Jack.” Daniel’s brow furrowed. “He hadn’t sold millions of books because of his face.”
Jack rose slowly. “Like I said, General, neither one of them has a clue. If we’re done,” he waited for the General’s nod, “I’m going to wander home and figure out who killed me.”
“I believe it to be the Touched.” Teal’c followed Jack and Sam from the room.
Daniel stacked his papers together. “Jack’s the one who doesn’t have a clue, sir.”
General Hammond sat smiling into the empty briefing room. “Welcome back, SG-1.”