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If you had asked Tommy what his plans were for 9:32pm on a Thursday, he would not say, “Placing pressure on my ex-boyfriend’s stab wound,” but that’s exactly what he was doing.
The night hadn’t started so dramatically. He had gone to the bar for karaoke trivia, just like he had plenty of times before. Right as it was about to start, he glanced over to see Buck staring at him, mouth agape.
Buck hurried out of the bar after that and, before Tommy could even register what he was doing, he was following behind him.
“I didn’t think you’d b- be here,” Buck explained, the conversation irrelevant to Tommy at the moment. “You changed your schedule and I- I thought you’d be working tonight.”
“I switched with someone for a couple weeks,” Tommy replied, pressing down harder on the wound, feeling Buck’s blood under his hand.
“Oh- Ah!”
“Sorry, sorry.”
"I- I thought you didn’t wanna see m- me on a call or something.”
“No, that’s… No.”
“Oh,” Buck repeated. “Okay. I- still, I just wanted t- to get out a little. I- I’ve mostly been baking. I- when I saw you I was g- gonna leave. Try to go before you- you saw me.”
“I saw you,” Tommy muttered.
“I know. Y- You followed me.” Unconsciously, his hand moved up toward the wound. Tommy gently batted it away. “Why?”
“I thought,” Tommy paused. “I don’t know, just wanted to talk to you. Didn’t know you’d be busy getting mugged.”
Even through his labored breathing, with the gash in his abdomen still oozing blood no matter how much pressure Tommy put on it, Buck looked up at Tommy eagerly. “About what?”
“I don’t think that matters right now, Buck.”
“Why? B- Because of th- the stabbing?”
“Yes, Buck. Because of the stabbing.” In the distance, Tommy began to register the familiar tune of an older song. He thought it had been coming from the bar at first, but now he knew it wasn’t. “Why is this damn song playing again?” he asked as it started over. “And where the hell is it coming from?”
“Th- The guy dropped his phone. It st- started playing,” Buck informed him, hand shakily pointing across the alley toward the phone on the ground. “Must b- be on repeat.”
A small gush of blood seeped out between Tommy’s fingers. “I can’t reach it to turn it off.”
“I don’t mind it,” Buck assured him, wincing as a wave of pain hit. “I- It’s fitting, don’t ya think?”
“What do you mean?”
“Truly Madly Deeply,” Buck mumbled, eyebrows raised. “I- I’d stand with you on a mountain.”
Tommy sighed. “Okay.”
“Bathe with you in the sea.”
“Buck.”
“Not sure I- I wanna lay like this forever.” His words began to slur about halfway through and, as he finished the sentence, his head lolled to the side, eyes closing.
“Evan!” Tommy yelled, bringing one hand to his face to tap at his cheek. “You gotta stay awake for me, Evan!” he alerted, getting right up in Buck’s face. “Eyes open. Talk to me.”
Buck’s eyes popped back open and he opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. “Looks like y- you were wrong,” he said, swallowing down a familiar metallic taste.
“That’s nothing new,” Tommy replied. “But what about this time?”
“You… You will get t- to be my last.”
“Stop it. You- You’re not dying, Evan.” He groaned, ignoring the burning in his eyes as he looked out toward the road. “Where’s the damn ambulance?!”
“It- It’s only been a few… few minutes.”
With one hand still on Buck, Tommy checked the time on his watch. Buck was right, Tommy had only hung up the phone maybe five minutes ago. It had felt like an hour.
“You know what I- I think?” Buck asked, raising a hand to poke at Tommy’s shoulder.
“What’s that?”
“I think you- you’re scared.”
“You’re delirious,” Tommy
Buck shook his head. “No, I- I’m lirious,” he replied, then scrunched his face up in confusion. “You know what I m- mean. You’re scared, Tommy. Scared o- of being loved. Scared of c- committing to s- something r-” his words broke off as he began to cough. He could feel something wet on his chin. Was sure it wasn’t just spit. “Real,” he finished once the coughing died down. He could hear his own breathing now, wheezy and stunted. That didn’t stop him. “You- I don’t think you really w- wanted to go that night. I- I know I screwed up but w- we could have fixed it.”
“Can we stop talking about this, please?” Tommy was willing to beg, if necessary. Tonight had been about trying to forget all his failures as a human. He was not prepared to be thrown right into each and every conversation he spent most of his life running away from. Especially not when he was trying to prevent his ex from bleeding out.
“You said t- to stay awake,” Buck reminded him. “Need t- to talk to stay… stay awake.”
“Well, choose a different topic. A funner one. One that doesn’t involve me.”
Buck rolled his eyes, moaning a bit. “Eddie is l- leaving.”
“Yeah? For good or for awhile?”
“Good. Texas. Christopher.”
“That’s good,” Tommy said. “For him. Sorry for you though.”
“It’s… S’okay. He- He’s running to- towards something, ya know? Needs t- to be there.”
“I know,” Tommy agreed. “Still, sucks when a friend leaves.”
“Mm,” Buck hummed. “Sucks more when th- the person you love le- leaves.”
Tommy sighed, “Evan.”
“I n- never said I was talking about…” he voiced trailed off as he sucked in a wheezy breath, “about you. Very pre- presumptuous." He managed a weak smirk in Tommy’s direction. “I w- was talking about, um, that guy f- from that bas- basketball team that, that you like who… he’s retiring this year, I think.”
“Sounds like you two were very close,” Tommy deadpanned. “Sorry for your loss.”
“Th- Thank you.” He blinked up at Tommy, running his tongue over his lips. They suddenly felt so dry. “Just wish- wish you would b- be honest… honest with me before,” he stopped, each breath a little harder to take than the last. “I’m gonna die, Tommy.”
“You are not dying.” The words came out like a demand. He stared into Buck’s eyes, his blood-soaked hands maintaining their pressure. “But I tell you what. After you get all fixed up, if you remember anything from tonight, we’ll talk,” Tommy promised. “I will tell you why I- why I left. Because you’re right, Evan. I’m scared. I’m terrified. You… You scare me. I’ve never felt for anyone th- the way I feel for you.”
“Love.” It wasn’t a question. “You love me.”
Tommy sucked in a shaky breath. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Yes, I do.”
A tiny smile rose on Buck’s face. “Truly madly deeply?” he whispered, voice becoming weaker by the second.
Tommy huffed out a laugh, the song repeating yet again. He nodded. “Truly madly deeply.”
Buck’s breathing slowed, eyelids drooping. “Tommy?”
“Mhm?”
“I… It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Tommy became laser focused, pressing down even harder on Buck’s wound, “Evan, you hang on, you hear me? I hear the sirens now. They’re close, Evan!”
“I’m,” Buck’s eyes began to roll back in his head, “I’m cold,” he muttered before the whole world went dark.
*****
Buck woke up to a hospital room full of family and friends.
But all he noticed was one very important person was not there.
“Where… Where’s Tommy?” he asked Maddie with pleading eyes as she held onto his hand. His heart began to race, wondering if it was a dream, or a hallucination. Maybe Tommy had never been there at all. Maybe-
“Calm down,” Maddie instructed, rubbing her thumb over his palm. “He’d been here for three nights, Buck. We finally got him to go home for a bit. Shower, change, try to sleep. He’ll be back later.”
His eyes scanned the room. “I- I need my phone.”
“Right now?” Maddie questioned, glancing around at the other very confused visitors.
“Yes. Yes, right now.”
“Okay, okay, I’ve got it.” She picked up the bag beside her chair, digging in it briefly before pulling out Buck’s phone.
“He might not answer,” she said, handing it over to him. “He’s probably resting.”
Buck was too busy typing out a text to listen. His words were simple.
Truly Madly Deeply.
The text bubble was only on his screen for a couple of seconds before a reply came through.
I’ll be there in twenty minutes.