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It’s a weekend evening, so Tori is watching a film on her laptop when she hears the quiet knock at her bedroom door. She sets it aside to go open the door for Charlie. She knows his knock apart from anyone else’s because he's always so gentle.
When she lays her eyes on him he isn’t looking at her, instead his eyes are cast down to the carpet and he’s fiddling with his fingernails. Her little brother looks even younger like this. “Charlie? Is everything okay?”
“Erm, well, I wanted to talk to you about something…” his gaze is still skipping around and he can’t seem to keep eye contact for more than a beat.
“Oh, of course, come in, sit on the bed with me,” She quickly moves her laptop and straightens out her blankets to make room for them both to sit, legs crossed and facing each other. “What’s going on? Did Mum say something to you?”
“No, no.. It’s nothing like that.. Um this is kinda hard for me to talk about, I mean you’re the easiest one for me to talk to but I'm still nervous.. Ha,” Charlie looked like he was about to start crying. He lifted his knees to wrap his arms around his legs and rest his cheek on his knees.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay Charlie,” Tori reached out to pet his hair in an attempt to calm him a bit. She was a bit awkward with physical affection but she could sense this was a moment where she needed to make her brother feel comfortable.
After a few moments, when Charlie no longer looked like he was on the verge of tears, he lifted his head and started to speak again, “I just.. I wanted to tell you I’m, like, I think I’m gay?” His voice turned up at the end and it sounded like he was unsure. “Is that terrible? Is Mum gonna hate me? Do you hate me?”
Tori felt something in her chest clench at that last question. She hadn’t actually been expecting Charlie to say this. It’s not that she never considered the possibility of her brother being gay, she just doesn’t think about that stuff very much. She was a little surprised but tried not to let it show on her face, “Oh, Charlie, no, that’s impossible. I’ll never hate you, ever. Mum too, I promise. I love you, Okay? This would never change that. You know that, right?’ She really hoped he knew that, but then again he had to ask so maybe he was unsure.
“I know I know… but this is different. I guess I just didn’t know how you would react,” Charlie met Tori’s eyes now, and she could see that he must’ve been holding this in for a while. Why didn’t he feel comfortable enough to talk to her before now? Was it something she did or said? She felt a little queasy at the thought but realized this must’ve been really hard for him to bring up. She’s just glad he did at all. She didn’t really know what to say next, this is the first time someone’s come out to her. Was it wrong to ask how long he’d known? Should she be asking questions at all?
“Charlie… C’mere,” She leaned forward and Charlie moved his legs down so they could properly hug. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. You must’ve been so scared.”
“Ha.. yeah, I was. I feel silly about it now because you’re being so nice. I should have known.”
Tori pulled back from the hug, “Yeah you probably should have,” she answered, earning herself a playful shove from Charlie, “About Mum though.. You know you don’t have to tell her anything if you’re not ready. You don’t have to tell anyone unless you actually want to. Even your friends, they will understand if you wait to tell them.”
“Yeah, totally. I don’t think I want to tell anyone else yet.. I mean it’s no one's business but mine. Plus I'm ninety percent sure I would get horribly bullied at school.” Charlie tried to make the last bit sound like a joke but Tori could tell he was serious. The worst part is he’s right, she knew how the boys at school were, picking on anyone slightly different than themselves. Pathetic.
“I’m sorry Charlie, I guess I can’t make every homophobe change but if anyone says anything mean to you I will destroy them,” She tried to sound super serious with her threat but Charlie saw right through her, knowing she would be doing no destroying.
“Please, I might be a weakling but I think I could do a better job at destroying bullies than you,” Charlie teased.
“Oh that is crossing a line, don’t you know I’m a year older than you? I’m definitely stronger!”
They continued teasing each other for a while before deciding to watch a film together before bed, which turned into two, which turned into binging Star Wars until they both fell asleep in Tori’s small bed. Charlie’s anxiety from earlier had practically disappeared. Tori was proud of her brother for coming out to her, and to be honest she felt a little special that she was the first person he told. Her little brother has always been one of her best friends.