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“Step one: flowers. A night of romantic ambience needs to have a small token of love given at the start to set the mood. Flowers also have their own language, so you can say a lot with just a small bouquet.”
Alastor nodded as he scribbled down Charlie’s words in a notebook. They were both situated in her bedroom, Alastor sitting on the bed, Charlie stood before him, smacking at the whiteboard she’d painstakingly dragged up several flights of stairs with a wooden ruler. She’d put together an entire collage, complete with scribbled notes and doodles to outline her master plan for Alastor’s proposal to her father that night, the first step being the flowers.
Truthfully, Alastor had never understood the appeal of flowers as a gift. They lived painfully short lives once snipped from their mother plant, withering and dying in the confines of their vase within the span of a few days, until they were left as nothing more than a brown, lifeless husk. Not very romantic, if you asked him. What message was that supposed to put across to the partner you were giving them to?
Our love is like this flower: prone to losing all its luster and dying. Happy anniversary!
But he pushed his doubts aside. Charlie had more experience in this department than he did, and had known Lucifer for hundreds of years. He opted to put his faith in the hotel’s leading lady for this particular performance.
“I see,” he said, snapping his notebook shut. He’d mostly been doodling pictures of himself and Lucifer anyway. “And where shall we procure these flowers? From the garden? I hardly feel that’s going to be much of a gift when Lucifer is the one who tends to them the most.”
Charlie smiled triumphantly, fists falling to her hips. “I’m way ahead of you on that one. I’ve already sent Vaggie out to the florist to pick up a specially made order.”
Alastor went still at her words, every hair on his head freezing like a pack of icicles. His voice, when it came out, sounded high and reedy to his own icicle ears. “You…told Vaggie?”
Charlie seemed to notice his disquiet as she quickly surged forward, waving his concerns away. “We needed an extra person for the plan, Alastor. But don’t worry. Vaggie won’t tell a soul. She’s like a steel trap when it comes to keeping secrets.”
Alastor hummed doubtfully.
Vaggie blew several petals out of her nose as she sneezed. With a groan, she swiped the back of her hand over her nose, trying to rearrange her hold on the bouquet of flowers to better see her way up the steep driveway to the hotel. It was enormous, like the florist had tried to stuff every flower possible into the confines of the wrapper, making it a huge bush of red and white petals and leaves, obscuring her view.
She supposed it was okay though, seeing as these flowers were part of Alastor’s master plan to propose to Lucifer, headed by Charlie. Though she’d never say it out loud, she was happy for the bastard. It was so obvious how devoted he was to Lucifer, even through the enigmatic curtain of bullshit he liked to wrap around himself. She’d never thought he’d be capable of pulling his head out of his own asshole long enough to even consider marriage, let alone actually initiate it. Almost made her feel the warm fuzzies on the inside.
Almost.
Because Alastor was still a major shit stain.
Vaggie staggered up the front steps, past some sinners loitering around the garden, and reached for the doorknocker. One knock would alert Keekee to her return, activating a form of magic Vaggie didn’t fully understand, but the door opened for those who were registered residents of the hotel, which meant she got in fine. Before her fingers could reach the knocker, however, the door flew open, nearly batting the fat bouquet right out of her hands. Vaggie jumped back with a yelp to find Lucifer blinking at her, his exuberant smile dimming some as she blinked at him from around the corner of the flowers.
“Oh, Vaggie. It’s you,” he said, not even trying to mask his disappointment.
“Yes, Dad, it’s me,” she said with a roll of her eye.
Lucifer winced then stepped aside, holding the door open for her as she walked in, over the hotel’s magical threshold. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just thought you might be Alastor.”
Vaggie froze as the name met her ears. All at once she realised the situation she was in: standing in front of Lucifer, holding the flowers that were meant to be a gift to him. From Alastor. Who was planning to propose. To Lucifer. Using the flowers she was holding. In front of Lucifer.
Shit.
Maybe he wouldn’t ask about them.
Lucifer closed the door and turned to sweep his gaze up and down her. “What’s with the flowers?”
Double shit.
“Uhh-“ Vaggie stammered, attempting to belatedly shove the flowers behind her back, but it was an impossible task. All she accomplished was poking herself in the ass with the tip of a pointy stem. “They’re nothing! I just, um, got them.”
She mentally face-palmed. Yeah, no shit you got them!
Lucifer’s smile went crooked, an unsure laugh brushing his lips. “Okay? Who’re they for?”
“NOT YOU!” Vaggie burst out, followed by a, “Ha ha ha ha.”
She wanted to fall into whatever realm was below Hell. With hope, it was full of fire so she could burn to ash and never have to remember this moment again.
“I didn’t think they were,” Lucifer replied, looking and sounding even more confused. “Are they for Char-?”
“Yep! They’re for Charlie!” Vaggie blabbered, swiping the back of her gloved hand over her forehead. Her mind seized up like a rabbit in a snare, just as it always did whenever she was forced to lie, a reason why she tried to avoid doing it. “It’s, uh, her birthday!”
Lucifer cocked his head to the side, his frown deepening. “Uhhh, no it’s not? Her birthday’s not for another few months.”
Fuck.
Vaggie’s nails pierced the plastic casing wrapped around the bouquet. Lucifer’s eyes widened and he looked like he was about to do something really terrible like ask her if she was okay, which she very clearly was not, but he wasn’t supposed to know that!
“HAH! Did I say birthday?” Vaggie sweated as she forced out another harsh bark of laughter that made Lucifer wince. “Why-? Why did I say that? Geez, I’m such a knucklehead. Um, no, obviously I know that. It’s, uh—our anniversary!”
Lucifer’s face instantly brightened, a sunny smile lifting his rosy cheeks. “Wow, you have the same anniversary as me and Alastor? That’s so neat! I can’t believe I never noticed before.”
Vaggie was sure she would later feel the consequences of her lie fall upon her like an ill-timed anvil drop, but that wasn’t for her present self to deal with, so she grinned a smile that she was sure looked more like a grimace and nodded her head. She was already backing up towards the stairs, peeking at Lucifer’s puzzled face around the flowers.
“Yeah, wow! So crazy!” she said, then turned on her heel and muttered into a handful of leaves. “Bye.”
She raced up the stairs so fast, she nearly tripped over her own feet multiple times. But she didn’t look back at that nightmare scenario once.
Really, when she thought about it, this was all Alastor’s fault.
Alastor and Charlie both looked up at the door to the library flying open. It swung round on the hinges so hard, it smacked into the wall and sent several books tumbling down from their shelves to thump onto the floor. Vaggie stumbled in—or, Alastor thought it was her. All he could see of the figure holding the enormous bouquet of red and white flowers were a pair of legs taking anxious little steps across the carpet. One foot stuck out, kicking the door shut behind her, and the flowers were unceremoniously dropped onto the coffee table, revealing, indeed, Vaggie.
“Vaggie!” Charlie chirped, racing over to greet her. She gripped her girlfriend’s arm as she fought to regain her breath, her silvery hair a frizzy mess. “You’re back already, that’s great. And the flowers look so nice too.” A frown passed over Charlie’s face as she appeared to notice the discombobulated state of her partner for the first time. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Vaggie answered too quickly, snapping to attention. Her eye darted wildly back and forth between Charlie, who peered down at her in concern, and Alastor, who raised an eyebrow in turn. She settled on staring down at her shoes. “I’m fine. It was just, um, really busy at the florist.”
Alastor was a master liar but one didn’t need to have a particularly keen nose for fibbages to detect that Vaggie was sweating like a sinner in church.
He chuckled to himself over that one.
“Well, I’m glad you were able to get the flowers and come back so quickly,” Charlie said with a kind smile, brushing over Vaggie’s concern. Alastor squinted at her. Once again, Charlie’s nose for bullshit was proving to be quite selective. Charlie sucked in a breath, her chest swelling as she announced, “What matters now is setting everything else up for the evening. Alastor? Are you ready?”
Alastor chose to ignore Vaggie’s obvious distress over…something. He would ferret it out eventually. Right now, he had far grander fish to fry. Namely, securing himself one devil: king of Hell, as his fiancée.
Sweeping back his coattails, he rose to his feet, dusting off his hands. “As I’ll ever be,” he said, forcing a calm smile onto his face. He had to be calm. If he wasn’t calm then he’d be…the opposite of that, which he couldn’t afford right now.
“Right,” Alastor sighed, straightening up his lapels and swiping up the flowers. They really were ostentatiously large, but if Charlie was confident, then oh well. He flashed a smile at Charlie and Vaggie, dropping a curt bow. “Wish me luck, ladies.”
“Good luck!” Charlie instantly called back, clasping her hands together. “We’ll see you later for steps two through five.”
She shot him a confident thumbs-up. Alastor returned it, the first stirring of nerves kicking up dust in the pit of his stomach.
“Thank you, dear. See you on the other side,” Alastor said and fell into a shadow once more.
Vaggie watched Alastor seep into the carpet in the form of an inky puddle, disappearing from view in seconds. Her eye remained glued to the spot as Charlie sighed happily beside her.
“I’m nervous for him, but excited!” she exclaimed. A moment later, her hand was on Vaggie’s shoulder, squeezing the tight muscle. “This is gonna go great. Especially with those flowers as the opener.”
Vaggie turned her head slowly on a creaky neck, until she was looking up at Charlie’s self-assured smile. She had to swallow against the dryness turning her throat to sandpaper before she could speak.
“Um, Charlie…”
Charlie blinked at her, still smiling. “Yeah?”
“Um.” Vaggie scratched at the back of her neck. “I may have, uh, fucked up.”
A crease formed between Charlie’s eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“Um.” Vaggie felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down her temple. “Just that step one might not go as smoothly as you think.”
Alastor materialised in Lucifer’s workshop with a pop of air and a flourish, tossing his coattails back as he twirled on the spot. Lucifer had once kept all his work things in their joined bedroom, but Alastor had put his foot down on that one after he kept getting startled awake in the dead of night by rolling over onto rubber duckies tucked under their mattress. Squeaky honks did not a good sleep make. Now, all his crafting materials were sectioned off into an adjoining room, so he could build in peace and Alastor could sleep in peace.
As expected, Lucifer was hunched over his desk, paintbrush in hand and duck positioned under a scope as he carefully dabbed at its bill. He froze, his brush stilling as it dipped into a pot of red at the sound of Alastor’s reforming. Alastor squared his shoulders as Lucifer turned around on his stool, stretching a winning smile across his face.
“My darling,” Alastor began with a gallant bow. He grinned up at Lucifer from beneath the frame of his lashes, an angle that typically worked well for him. “Apologies for my absence today, but I’ve been putting a little something together for the two of us to celebrate our anniversary. Here, these are for you, dear.”
He presented the bouquet to Lucifer, remaining bent over in his bow. When Lucifer made no move to scoop the flowers out of Alastor’s hands and coo about how sweet and thoughtful he was, Alastor cracked an eye open to peek at him.
Lucifer’s expression had him faltering as he stared down at Alastor with something like outrage.
“Alastor!” Lucifer snapped folding his arms crossly over his narrow chest. “Did you seriously steal Vaggie’s anniversary gift to Charlie? If you just forgot our anniversary that’d be one thing. But this?”
Alastor flicked his gaze from Lucifer’s angry face, then to flowers, then back to Lucifer. A light ripple of feedback creaked through the air in time with his head tipping to the side.
“What now?”