Work Text:
You stood at your counter, trying not to stare at the register clock as it ticked slowly through your shift. The mall was well and truly dead, two days before Valentine’s and the sky having dropped an absolute truck load of snow on your town; no one was stupid enough to be out and driving around in this weather.
Except, of course, your store manager, and thus you and your coworkers were doomed to the boredom of an empty store. And being stuck with your two most favorite coworkers…
Two hours left.
Leslie was pulling up a photo on her phone, presumably to show Adelina.
“I just can't believe! He didn’t want to go out to dinner to ‘save money’ but then I find out he bought himself a brand new PlayStation?! And I got this super cute lingerie set for Valentine's Day so we could have a really special night together!”
“Yeah. He’s a dick.” you muttered under your breath, not looking up from your own phone. This had been going on for a while; you didn’t mind being the person a lot of your coworkers came to to vent, but they never seemed to listen to you; exhibit A: Leslie had been having issues with her boyfriend for months. You had been telling her he was a jerk and she deserved better for months. She stayed with him anyway.
Adelina said something in agreement, and then cooed over how cute the lingerie apparently was. You were only half paying attention, sending Hermes a text of a laughing emoji when he sent you a photo of himself pretending to fall off the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Dork.
“Me and Max are just staying in and ordering a pizza for the actual day. His family is taking me to their lake house next month and we’re going to treat that as our Valentine’s.” Adelina said. You heard one of them running the steamer, making another cup of coffee of some kind. Your counter had gotten a cheesecake flavor for the holiday, and by far it was the most popular custom flavor among both customers and employees.
You tuned out your coworkers, scrolling on a few different apps to see if there were any new memes. You could only refresh Tumblr so many times, so you’d started looking at things on Etsy that you definitely couldn’t afford just to see the kinds of things people could make. You added a hand-wrought brass tiara to your wish list - it never hurt to dream. Especially when your boyfriend was technically a prince of the gods and had basically unlimited money…
You snorted, shaking your head. You knew if you showed Hermes any of your wish lists from any website he would acquire every last thing on it; he was sweet and as soon as he realized gift-giving was your love language, he had started going wild. But as wonderful as it was, you didn't want to feel like (or look like to an outsider) you only stayed with the god for the stuff.
You loved him, even when he teased you for being a mortal; when he had to be gone for a week or more at a time because of his duties to Olympus. You loved his wild moods, his silliness, his bickering with and pranking his siblings. You loved that he came to you when he was exhausted and wanted comfort. You loved that you had an understanding and caring relationship, where you could be silly and serious and tender. You loved that you balanced each other. You loved him.
He didn't need to buy your affection; you gave him your love readily and he gave you his.
“What are you and Henry planning?” Leslie’s voice popped the little bubble you had been in. You blinked.
“What?” you asked eloquently.
Both girls smirked; somehow it felt both friendly and predatory. Leslie asked again, “What are you guys doing? It’s your first Valentine’s Day together, isn’t it?”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess so. I don’t really know; he’s still, uh, working. I don’t know if he’ll be back in time for the holiday. We haven’t talked about it…” you rambled, trying to give them enough of an answer not to press.
Most of it was true; you two hadn’t talked about Valentine’s at all, and you didn’t know if Hermes would be back in time. He was pestering some worshippers of Zeus on behalf of the King himself; doing what exactly, you had no idea…
“You don’t have to celebrate on the actual day! Max and I aren’t. I’m surprised he wouldn’t want to celebrate at all.” Adelina pressed. You shrugged.
“I don’t know if he doesn’t want to celebrate. We just haven’t talked about it.” you brushed off the question, wishing you could think of something to change the subject.
Suddenly, Leslie gasped, a big grin on her face,
“You should surprise him! When he comes back! I’ll bet he’ll be super stressed after working for two weeks straight. It would be so romantic!”
You huffed, half a laugh and humorless. “Uh-huh. Maybe. I could probably order his favorite dinner and set it up really nice,” you said without really paying attention. You added a sticker of a frog in a sheep costume to your list of gift ideas for Hermes; the gods didn't technically celebrate birthdays, but you thought there was a feast or something dedicated to one of his aspects coming up. You were planning to set up a little altar and leave some things as an ‘offering’ along with a birthday hat. He'd laugh for an hour at least.
Leslie took a step closer, waving her phone in your face, “No, you should really surprise him.”
The phone was still on the picture of the lingerie. You felt your face go red.
Oh.
You made a face, feeling your stomach churn. “Guys, we’ve talked about this-” you started.
“Yeah, we know, you're Asexual or whatever, but I looked it up, and you guys still have sex sometimes! I’m just saying, it would probably be extra special if you tried it for Valentine’s Day.” Leslie said, putting a hand on your arm.
“We’ll go with you! We can go down to Victoria’s Secret after work and we can help you pick out something super cute.” Adelina continued. You tried not to outright retch.
Trying on clothes was already a terrible activity. Trying on underwear with your sort-of-friend sort-of-bully coworkers would be worse. You felt your phone ping in your hand; Hermes sending another picture, this time a selfie with him in front of one of his statues. He was sticking out his tongue, holding up his thumb and index finger as if squishing the statue’s hand. Of course, you knew what he meant.
Great timing babe…
And of course, the girls saw the picture. Leslie lit up; Hermes was only wearing shorts, a shirt presumably tied around his waist, and he was turning golden in the Italian sun. Complete with designer sunglasses and a golden brooch peeking from the knot holding the shirt in place, he looked nothing shy of, well, divine.
You could hear their brains running overtime…
There was no way you were getting out of this…
“Fine.” You grumbled, and suddenly two hours until close didn't sound like long enough at all.
-----
Thankfully, the store manager finally accepted defeat and closed the store, but there were several others in the mall still open. And unsurprisingly, two days before Valentine's, Victoria’s Secret was open and active. There were a handful of patrons in the store, although the sales girls still outnumbered the customers at the moment.
You couldn't begrudge the girls that worked there - a job was a job was a job. You didn't know if they made commission or not, but they probably at least got some kind of bonus if they hit certain sales goals.
“Let me know if you need anything at all!” The fourth girl said. You smiled and nodded, wishing you could hide behind the rack and combust.
“What's Henry's favorite color?” Leslie asked, her hands flicking through a line of lace bras, notably with minimal padding. Frankly they looked like the bikini tops in anime beach episodes that barely covered the girl’s nipples.
You shrugged, wandering to the next rack and pretending to look. “I'm not sure. He wears a lot of reds and greens. He just really enjoys lots of color…”
“Ooh! There's a Valentine's special on these!” Adelina said from a few feet away, somehow holding up an even skimpier bra-panty combo, black with white tiger stripes.
You tried not to think of Dionysus; he would love to wear that set, just for his own enjoyment, you were sure. You could even picture him on some chaise in the palace, drinking his wine and showing off his ‘new look’...You blushed at the thought.
Adelina took your blush as approval. “Ok, I'll save these for you to try on!” She set the hanger aside. Thank the gods you had already known your measurements coming in. Getting sized up by these 17-year-olds who looked like miniature models would have felt like hell.
You idly picked through another line of underwear, before realizing these were crotchless, and immediately turning away. At some point, Leslie picked out an outfit that frankly looked like a one-piece swimsuit missing its entire front - it was purple and fully silk, and had a heart shaped cut out between the breasts and then another heart cut from ribs to just above the crotch, showing off almost your entire stomach. Then the two girls added an extremely short dress-like piece, black lace.
You finally put your foot down when they brought you an ‘outfit’ that was nothing more than a satin string to go over your crotch and a few gold chains to drape over your body. You settled for the purple outfit, which you learned was called a teddy; at least they were kind enough to pay since they put you through all the torture. ‘A gift to celebrate your first time,’ they called it.
Goodie…
-----
You stood in your apartment bathroom, staring at yourself in the little mirror. The purple teddy was a little tight; it hugged your body like a second skin and showed off everything you hated. The bathroom overhead light had never been flattering, but now it felt one hundred times worse. Stretch marks on your stomach shined like cherry red signal lights. Although both the store girls and your coworkers had insisted the teddy was ‘properly fitted’, you felt like it was just too tight and unflattering all around. You wondered if it would matter at all to put makeup on.
It was Valentine’s Day, and you had had the day off of work. Leslie and Adelina had text you well wishes and promised you would “have fun” all morning, and then thankfully your phone had gone silent.
You had started at the vibrantly pink bag on and off for most of the afternoon; now trying the outfit on again, in your own home and looking in your own mirror, you didn't think it looked or felt any better.
Hermes had had a council meeting in the middle of the afternoon and hadn't been able to text you, although he had sent you a very cute selfie of himself hanging upside-down on some garden trellis, surrounded by hanging bundles of purple and pink wisteria flowers.
And he had snuck you a picture of Apollo, his arms loaded with four baskets - one for each of his resurrected lovers. The pile probably wasn't too heavy for the god, but it was clearly unbalanced, and only Apollo's eyes were visible, looking angrily at Hermes. You could imagine him calling for his younger brother, the messenger, to come help him with the gifts, and Hermes laughing and floating away instead.
The thought made you smile.
You tightened the grip on your phone and laid on your bed - the covers laid out nicely and no stuffed animals in sight, and somehow your bedroom felt even colder than the bathroom. You held the phone up above you, trying to find an arrangement that would look appropriately “sexy” and show off the full outfit.
As you lay there taking photo after photo (and deleting each and every one,) the door opened.
“Hey, Y/N I brought- your favorite?” Hermes wandered through the front door and, upon seeing you through your open bedroom doorway, promptly stumbled and dropped whatever bags he was carrying.
The pair of you stared at each other for a heartbeat.
You jumped up, thoughts of sexiness forgotten as you ran to grab a broom to clean up the mess. Hermes, of course, had the same idea, and the pair of you banged into each other, sending you sprawling onto the floor and him bumping back into the wall with an ‘oof!’
“I'm so sorry, let me just-”
“No, I got it, are you-?”
You spoke over each other, not really listening to one another. Finally, Hermes waved a hand, and the meals un-spilled and returned to their boxes, and then he grabbed your hips to help you steady yourself.
And then he realized what you were wearing, and darted back like he’d been burned.
Both of his ear-wings flapped open and covered his eyes, his face turning as red as Dio’s party wine.
“What's- uh, um- do you-” he stopped and started a few times. You also turned red, feeling like the floor fell out from under you.
He couldn't even stand to look at you…
“One second, I'll grab a towel.” You said, and darted back into the bathroom, grabbing a very old and faded SpongeBob-patterned towel that happened to be hanging up and wrapping it around yourself.
His wings were still covering his eyes when you returned to the kitchen; they’d knocked his sunglasses clean off of his face and into the living room area. You grabbed the sunglasses as you passed, and handed them to Hermes,
“I'm covered. You can look now…”
The wings retracted, showing his white eyes with their beautiful silvery glow. Even his ears were flushed red, and his smile was crooked and hesitant. He hooked the glasses on the collar of his cloak instead of putting them back on.
You stared at each other for a minute, silent, unsure of what to say.
“Um… I brought your favorite… a-and some of the kitchen staff on Olympus helped me make a- … a surprise…
“What's- ah- what's all this…?” He stuttered, hastily picking up the bag of food and shifting it to the kitchen table before looking around you into the bedroom.
You felt yourself turn redder, your face and ears hot enough to blow steam like an old cartoon.
“...Um… surprise?” You asked tentatively. “Happy- uh- Happy Valentine’s Day…” you splayed your hands like a faux-celebratory gesture, looking deliberately down at your bare feet.
“I a-am… Surprised! I mean… I-I thought that we-” he started, but you spoke up again,
“I'll go change, I'm sorry, it was really stupid.” You rushed, and turned to flee before you felt Hermes dart to you and hold you still with gentle hands.
“Hey. Y/N. Let's start over?” he asked softly. His hold was loose; you could leave if you wanted to.
You turned around; he was still blushing, but his smile was less nervous and more genuine. You took a deep breath and ruffled the towel a little.
“Happy Valentine's Day,” Hermes said softly. “I thought it was early enough, so I got dinner; [Favorite Meal]? Is that okay?”
“Yeah, that's really sweet. I- um. I got you a present?” You said, trying to steel your nerves. You opened the towel just a bit, giving him a peek of the purple teddy still squeezing your body, watching his eyes for any hint of disgust.
There wasn't, only a touch of confusion.
“Yeah, I noticed that,” he chuckled nervously. “Are you- um… are you sure?”
“Yeah! I mean- it's our first Valentine's Day so… it should be super special, right?” You replied, looking away again.
Carefully, his hand brushed your chin and guided you back to looking at him.
“You don't sound very sure…” he said softly, gently. Just his presence was like a soft blanket around you, his hands were light on your skin, easily shaken if you wanted him to let go. You teared up a little as your resolve cracked.
“It's- …I- …It's Valentine's Day…” you repeated. He carefully guided you over to your couch.
“Yeah, it is. And if this is what you want then I'm all for it. But I don't think this is what you want.” he said, taking your head in both hands now and wiping the tears beginning to spill with his thumbs.
“You-”
“Not me. You, darling. What do you want?” He asked again, and you took a deep, shuddering breath.
You broke. “I'm sorry.” You whispered, sniffling. He hushed you and kissed your forehead.
“No sorrys, darling. Everything is okay.”
“I'm not…” you trailed off. There were a lot of things you weren't in that moment.
“Not what?” Hermes pressed.
There were a few moments of silence before you mustered up an answer,
“I'm not anything…” you whispered. His gentle smile turned down; the glow of his eyes dimmed.
“Oh, my darling,” he whispered, giving you another kiss on your forehead. “You're everything.”
He spoke with such reverence when he said it, it made you shiver, and you felt a few more tears slip down your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around him, laying your head on his shoulder, and he ran a hand up and down your back, whispering comforts in your ear.
“Believe me, I could happily just sit here and enjoy the view for hours, but you look like you want to rip that thing off and burn it,” he chuckled. “And I would never want to think you had to do something just for me while you were miserable. I'm flattered. But I also have a feeling this wasn't exactly your idea…”
You cuddled against him a little longer before answering.
“Yeah…well…the girls at work suggested you might be stressed after working all week…and it is our first Valentine's together as a couple…”
He hummed quietly, and then after a beat he whispered in your ear with equal calm and reverence,
“I'll kill them.”
You snorted in surprise, pulling back a bit to look at him.
“What? I will.” he said again, plainly. You giggled, smacking his chest with the back of your hand.
“No. You won't. Those are my coworkers!”
“And they made you cry! And made you try on clothes you didn't want aaand tried to get you to break your own boundaries for my supposed pleasure and probably their entertainment!” His face was neutral, but there was the tiniest hint of mischief in his eyes.
He was egging you on.
You huffed, trying not to laugh harder. “Please don't kill my coworkers. I don't want to clean all of the equipment at work by myself.”
“No, I think I will kill them! They offended my lover, and in doing so they offended me! That's a grave- uh… offence!!” He said, shaking a fist dramatically. This time you really did laugh.
“Oh, great and terrible god Hermes! I beg you! Have mercy on them! Have pity!!” You wailed, equally theatrical. That finally broke him, and he started laughing. You both sat there, laughing together.
The situation wasn't really all that funny, and you knew Hermes would want to talk about it more seriously later, but for now you needed the tension in the room released. You needed to joke, and he knew it. It took a few minutes for the giggles to subside, and he put an arm around your shoulders.
“How about we both change into our best pajamas and have takeout?” He asked with a wide grin.
You hummed and matched his smile, “Sounds fantastic.”
It took a few minutes of wriggling and contorting, but you got the teddy off. You left the offending garment sitting on the floor, wondering if you could wash and donate it to a charity or thrift store. Leslie and Adelina didn't need to know, and you were sure a nearly brand new outfit like that would make someone else very happy. Meanwhile, you found your favorite set of pajamas, a fluffy pair of socks, and even some warm slippers in the shape of cats. You returned to the living room area to find Hermes had also changed clothes.
“Minecraft?” You asked, taking in the eclectic outfit. He had on thick fuzzy pants with a pattern of Minecraft creepers, a black tee shirt, and the crochet ram horns you had bought for him a while ago.
His shirt said, in big, bold, gold lettering: ‘I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND’. You rolled your eyes.
His smile was absolutely radiant, and he giggled as he turned around, pointing at his shirt with his thumbs. The back of the shirt simply said ‘WHIPPED’. You grabbed a small pillow off the couch and whacked him with it. He only laughed, and wiggled his eyebrows at you.
At least he took the horns off before sitting down for dinner…
In the kitchen, the table was set with two plates, two glasses, two wine glasses, and both of your meals, still steaming as if freshly made and not having sat approximately two hours on your floor. There were also flowers in a little vase in the middle, snowdrops and lilies of the valley, arranged beautifully around [Favorite Flower]. How he had gotten those so early in the year, you could only chalk up to god magic.
Finally, sitting on the counter, there was some kind of bread-looking thing.
“That's for later.” He said, when you asked about it, and pulled out your chair for you with a flourish. “My darling Y/N.”
The pair of you sat, and ate, and exchanged stories of the two weeks apart; you had worked for most of it, although you’d heard there was a convention happening in the city a few months from now, and asked if Hermes would want to go with you. Of course, you never really needed to ask. All you had to do was express interest in something and Hermes would arrange time for it.
He had spent the last two weeks skipping around the Mediterranean, as his photos had shown, and the last three days had been taken up with the Council. He’d requested special permission from his father to leave early and celebrate Valentine’s Day, and apparently Zeus had decided to simply end the meeting for all to relax and celebrate.
“I wish you could have seen ‘Ditie’s face. She was glowing when Father called it his favorite day. And of course, Hera, poor woman, sitting right there-” he laughed.
You chuckled, “I guess I never really thought about gods celebrating holidays. Isn't it supposed to be a feast day for Eros or something?” Hermes snorted in a very undignified manner.
“Oh, do not say that around him. He hates Valentine’s Day. Chubby baby imagery everywhere, and he can never escape that that's how a huge chunk of the mortal population will see him forever.”
You giggled, a twinge of mischief giving you an idea. “You should get a bunch of those tiny plastic babies they put in the cakes before the Catholic observance of Lent or whatever and hide them in his temple.”
Hermes choked on his food.
“Holy shit. YES. Wait, I have to tell ‘Pollo, he’d love to knock that blowhard down a peg!” He began rapidly texting his brother, and you, curious, tried to peek at his phone.
“Apollo has beef with Eros?” You asked.
“Eh. Archers.” He shrugged, finishing the message and putting his phone away again.
You both went back to dinner, and afterwards Hermes pulled out a bottle of [preferred type] wine and filled both of your glasses, and carefully moved the bread thing to the table.
You surreptitiously took a sip of the wine, just to make sure no mischief was afoot.
Up close, it looked like some kind of carrot cake; almonds and orange zest liberally covered the top, and it was gooey-looking as well. You raised an eyebrow in question, and that delightful little blush returned to his cheeks.
“We went to that festival last month and you had really liked the honey cake that was there. While the Council was in off-time, I went down to the palace kitchen and asked the chefs to help me make one. It's, uh, got almonds and honey, obviously, and then lemon and orange and some saffron.”
Now it was your turn to blush, not only because of how much effort he had put into making something just because you mentioned liking it, but that he had remembered in the first place. That he hadn't just asked their servants to make it but he had asked for help, wanting to do at least some of it with his own hands.
And saffron. Fine, carefully harvested threads; savory and rare (and expensive!) spices. Harvested from the Crocus flower. He’d had countless lovers over the centuries, but he said so often he hadn't had a love like you in such a long time…
You wrapped your arms around him, tight, standing so you wouldn't pull him over completely. He easily matched you, taking you in his arms and lifting you a little ways off the floor, spinning. He leaned his forehead against yours, touching noses, silently asking permission. You met him in the middle, kissing him softly, feeling the smile on his lips.
There was a hum around you, warm energy cradling you in his sturdy arms. His wings ruffled with joy and resettled. He was floating too, quite literally. You held him tight, laughing as he kissed your cheeks and came back again. Both of your hearts beat in rhythm.
Finally, he put you back down, and the pair of you cut slices off of the cake to share. He waved a hand when you tried to clear the table, pulling you away and back to the couch. You took turns sharing bites of cake and sips of wine, and watching A Charlie Brown Valentine rather late into the night.
You started nodding off leaning against Hermes' chest, and you felt him very carefully shift and gently pick you up, cradling you in his arms. His treasure. In the morning the pair of you could go walk in the park, or maybe explore the shops downtown. You could do anything you wanted, really: you both had the day off of work.
Maybe you’d just sleep in and cuddle.
And burn that lingerie…