Work Text:
when I hit the stone that consumed you, it sung
my mother told me that’s how to tell if it’s made of real crystal
I really miss you, you know?
faith comes really hard these days
my lungs just aren’t very good at taking this beating
I have it down to a science, though
pain is calculable, a measurable asset
I can take a certain amount of hits before I go down
I can go down a certain amount of times before I die
you always helped me with my statistics homework, but
pretend like I know something about averages,
pretend like I ran the numbers
my forearms aren’t used to the weight, yet
it feels like it’s been forever?
this sword is so heavy
I haven’t seen the sun in a long time
but it’s always so bright, so bright
my joints might be getting looser
they don’t fit together right anymore
I worry that the aching is something I did to myself
you know the blood doesn't mean anything
that this isn’t courage, it's incompetence
my voice keeps breaking on the high notes
The secret passage dumped me on your bed. I hope you won’t mind, I was curious, and I missed you, and the door was locked. I’ve never not had you there to unlock it for me. It kind of felt like losing some sort of heaven, you know? The world doesn’t end until it does and nothing is the right color anymore. this kind of grief fits under all my clothes.
your father hasn’t left his room
and there is a little hole in the sole of my boot
right where the ground meets the ball of my foot
I keep finding bits of my soul in your furniture
can you hear me in there?
I am knocking on the door
can you hear me?