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There were things that were acceptable for a crown prince. It was something his senpai always drilled into him. Crown princes were supposed to be reserved, studious; they were supposed to be the perfect picture of a king to be.
Reno Ichikawa, the crown prince, was normally like that.
He was normally quiet and reserved, a perfect picture of prince. He was quiet, he listened to his lords, he kept his head down and respected both the gods high above and the common folk that came before him.
But here, under the stars, far away from the castle he called home, he was just Reno. Just Reno and Ihrau, his knight. It had always been the two of them on these little night time adventures.
His senpai had told him that these night rides that he enjoyed were not safe. There were people who would take advantage of the fact that he preferred to go riding in the dead of night, people who wanted his head, who would rather see the kingdom devolve into madness than accept the prince that would soon take the crown. But he was never alone.
He would never be alone as long as Ihrau rode by his side. As long as he had his knight, he knew he would be okay.
The night air made him shiver when he finally caught up to his knight. Iharu’s dapple grey mare looked like shining silver in the moonlight, just like the armor he wore throughout the day.
Trotting up to where Iharu waited ever so patiently, he gave his knight a fond smile. Iharu’s pink hair looked muted in the moonlight, but his smile was just as bright as it was during the day.
“Taking a casual ride today, my lord?” There was a teasing note in his voice.
“I wanted to give you a chance to win for once.” Reno gave him a smile. There was a certain easieness that came with riding with Iharu. Is this what it was like to be normal? There was no need to worry about princely matters or the fate of the realm. For here, they were just two young men, riding along worn forests paths and game trails, not a worry in the world besides how much longer it would be until sun broke in the sky.
Because then, when the sun was high in the sky, they would have to return back to being a crown prince and a knight.
It pained Reno to admit that that was what they were always going to be. A knight and the prince he was sworn to protect. He could never confess the warmth that filled his chest whenever he looked at the other man. He wished he was able to say what he felt, but that was not the way that things were to be for him.
Prince Reno Ichikawa’s life had been planned since before he was born. Every step, every major moment, every single part of his life was written and prepared for him. Thousands of years of princes had been through the same thing as him, and he would be no different. He was born and bred for this. He was raised to be a king. He would be married to some princess from another kingdom that had already been decided for him.
When Reno was crowned in just six months from now, he would be the king and all this would be taken from him.
So for now, he would take every night he could with his knight.
Here in the woods - he could admire the other man with no shame. And maybe even he could kid himself into believing that Iharu admired him in the same way.
From this hill, looking over the city, Reno realized how lucky he was to get to see his city in this light. Moonlight illuminated the roofs and he could see the faint lights of the lanterns on the street and the houses. It was hard to realize how lovely his city was when he spent most of the time behind the castle walls. This was his home, this place was the place he was sworn to protect and rule justly. He would be these people’s king.
The thought frightened him as much as it made him proud. He would be a just king, like his father before him. He would make everyone proud.
“Beautiful right?” Iharu’s voice broke through his thoughts. For a moment, Reno had forgotten that he was there. He turned to look at the other man, not expecting him to be looking out at the city. “The streets are always so calm at night in comparison to the day. Seems odd to view it like this.”
“Yeah - it is beautiful.” Reno hoped Iharu knew he didn’t mean the streets or how beautiful the town was. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him. His pink hair and slightly flushed cheeks from the riding nearly a match in the moonlight.
“Come on my lord.” He snapped his gaze back to the city - that was what they were supposed to be looking at. “It’s late and your senpai will have my head if you’re late to your lessons tomorrow.”
“Oh hush,” he said with a laugh, rolling his eyes slightly. “Kafka couldn’t hurt a fly! And you know that.” The knight did have a point, Kafka would be disappointed if he did manage to turn up late to lessons after another night ride that he wasn’t supposed to be taking. Senpai always knew when he managed to sneak out to go and explore. Reno was convinced he had some sixth sense for where he was.
“Kafka couldn’t, but his partner would!” Iharu laughed as he kicked his horse to a canter. “Come on Reno! I’ll race you.”
Reno’s heart fluttered with something he could only assume was love as he nudged his horse to follow the knight. His horses steady - yet quick - hoofbeats mirrored the fluttering of his heart. This was the life he wanted and the life he hoped he could keep.
It was not Kafka’s fault that he could barely keep his eyes open. They were reviewing the lord’s reports from around the kingdom.
Lord Izumo was still asking after his daughter - like Reno would ever tell them that Haruichi was happier here, as an archer in his royal guard as Lord of the Arrows. Kafka had been trying to talk him into telling the lord about his son, but it wasn’t Reno’s place to explain to him why exactly that would not be the best idea.
Lord Shinomiya was describing how he was going to send his daughter to the coronation in his place - Kafka had also mentioned that Kikoru would most likely be one of the ladies that Reno would have to consider for a marriage. That thought made him give the older man a confused look.
“Don’t give me that look my grace, you know that is what is expected from you,” Kafka sighed. “Within five years of being crowned, you are supposed to be married.”
“What happened to marrying for love? I thought that was what Mother and Father did.” Reno gave him a look, blue eyes meeting Kafka’s bright turquoise ones.
“Marrying for love is not for kings or really anyone royal. We’ve been over this.” He could hear the exhaustion in his voice.
This had been a topic of many hours of discussion between the two of them. In many ways, Reno understood his role as king, but part of him wanted to have the freedom to marry who exactly he wanted. It was the same freedom that he longed for during his night rides with Iharu. The freedom to choose what he wanted with his life.
“Why is it that I must be forced to marry some lady when all I really want is a lord at my side?” It wasn’t even hard to say anymore. It was just a fact. The sky was blue, the Ichikawa House seal was that of a blue kaiju, and Prince Reno was gay.
“We can ask after lords as well, but the council wants heirs.” Reno rolled his eyes at that. The council wanted his father and never failed to make Reno feel as if he was lesser for not being able to have the privilege of being able to grow up and learn from his father.
“What about you Senpai?” He would do anything to get off of this topic. “There’s a rumor of you and a certain vice captain of the guard.”
“You need to stop listening to gossip from the kitchen maids and the guards, my grace.” He could see the flush rise on his cheeks. “Gossip gets you nowhere. There is nothing going on between me and Hoshina.”
“So you know his name! When’s the wedding Senpai?” He laughed. “Iharu said that you were seen with him.” That wasn’t the truth, but he would never not live for a chance to tease Kafka for his relationship with the vice captain. An open secret it may be - but it didn’t stop the older man from being bashful when it came to it.
“Officer Furuhashi doesn’t know when to shut his mouth,” Kafka grumbled. “The difference between you and me is that I am not a royal and Soshiro is not either. I have no obligations for a country to provide an heir or a job to marry for royal ties.”
Reno sighed. Kafka was right, as he tended to be with situations like this. Out of all the people that had apparently been in consideration for his tutor, he was grateful that Kafka - as level headed and somewhat oblivious he was - was the perfect man for this job.
“You know I hate it when you’re right.” He gives the other man a small smile. “I’m sorry Senpai.”
“You know you’re old enough to call me by my name, your grace.” He moved over to the prince and placed a hand on his shoulder, mirroring the smile that Reno had on his face. “I’m not going to be your senpai in six weeks time.”
“I’ll stop calling you senpai when you stop calling me your grace. It’s only fair.” He said with a small laugh. “Plus I plan on keeping you as part of my small counsel.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Kafka did a poor job of hiding his surprise. His senpai was always unaware of how much of an impact he really had on everyone who had come in contact with him. He had always wondered what life would have been like if Kafka was never hired to be his tutor and he had never been more grateful for the man’s presence in his life.
“It’s not like they’re going to say anything against me - I’ll be their king and if they have a problem, they can bring it up with the captain of my guard when she throws them in prison.” It was meant mostly as a joke, but there was truth in Reno’s words. Kafka deserved a place of honor in the castle and Reno would do anything to make sure he was welcome here - even if Kafka didn’t believe he deserved it. “Now come on - what were you saying about people I will be forced to have at my coronation?”
The rest of the conversation flowed easily. Kafka was describing the pros and cons of each person and what an invitation would mean to this person and potential alliances that could come from invitations and Reno found the conversation was exhausting. It was a game - a political game - where he needed to act in a way that was befitting a king and act in a way that would benefit his kingdom. He would no longer be a single person and he felt like he couldn’t say how much that thought terrified him.
His mind drifted to his knight. He wondered what Ihrau would make of all this. Would he have opinions on the lords and ladies that he would be inviting? Would he be willing to attend and serve beside Reno for the night? He wasn’t sure he would be able to get through the night without Iharu at his side.
He was barely listening to his tutor, mind drifting to his night ride with Iharu. He didn’t seem to understand why his heart beat so fast at the mere memory of how beautiful his knight had been last night. He wanted more with his knight - but he knew that was not something that he would be able to have. He hoped Iharu would understand. He didn’t want to give up what they had, but his duty - his honor - came before any knight that stole his heart.
The sound of iron hitting iron rang across the courtyard and Reno huffed slightly as Ihrau caught him off guard once again.
He had been distracted ever since his conversation with Kafka three days ago. Distracted to the point that he was barely able to fight. Normally - his favorite part of the day was training with Iharu or even Aoi and Haruichi. But Iharu always gave him the best fights.
However, this was pathetic. He could barely defend himself. His movements were slower than normal. He couldn’t focus on anything other than that damned conversation.
At first, he had just assumed the confirmation that his coronation was so close and the anxiety of becoming a king was finally starting to get to him. But it wasn’t even the anxiety about that. He was fine with becoming a king. It was something he had actively looked forward to.
He was fine with being king.
But he wasn’t fine leaving his knight.
The answer seemed to come to him as his knight stood over him with a confused look on his face.
“Are you sure you’re okay my lord?” Iharu had asked him that question when they had started sparring and he had shrugged it off like it was nothing. He had to be fine - there was no other option for him. He wouldn’t confess his feelings. It would be wrong.
“I’m fine,” he mumbled, not making full eye contact with the knight. He didn’t want to worry Iharu, he didn’t want to scare him away with something so silly like his feelings.
“Are you sure my lord,” Haruichi’s voice interrupted any comment Iharu was going to make. He hadn’t even noticed that the other man had been watching them spar. “You look paler than normal.”
“I’m fine.” He averted his gaze as he stood up, brushing the dust off of his shirt and grabbing his sword. “Once more.”
“I’m not sure my lord,” Iharu’s voice was firm, but he could hear the concern layered in his voice. “You could barely fight and I would rather not hurt you. It’s rude to hurt the prince.”
That caused a laugh through the courtyard and it was only then that Reno had noticed that Aoi and a few other of his knights were there. He felt his face flush in embarrassment. They had all watched him fail to fight back. They had watched him fail.
Everybody had bad days - that was just common sense. But he wasn’t supposed to have bad days. He was supposed to be pristine and perfect and not in love with a guard that he was never going to have a future with.
He hated how he stormed off, attempting to hide the frustration. His feelings were getting the better of him - it was pathetic, he was pathetic.
He barely heard Iharu yelling after him as he left the courtyard. He couldn’t face him - wouldn’t face him. Not like this, not when he was emotional and hurting. He couldn’t be around Iharu anymore, personal guard or not. It was too much of a risk - a risk to his future, to Iharu’s reputation as a knight, to his reputation as a king.
He would not cause Iharu pain or hurt. That was not his goal here. He was the fool who fell in love and Iharu would not be punished for this mistake.
The doors to the main castle hallway slammed behind him, finally shutting him out from the world. He would have to find a way to make sure they didn’t run into each other.
It was better this way.
It had to be.
Iharu stood, looking longingly at the door as he watched the love of his life storm away. He couldn’t understand what he had said or what he had done to make Reno act that way. He had never meant to insult or hurt Reno in any way with what he said.
It was meant to be a joke. He could have never hurt Reno - even if he was commanded to. He had just commented on the fact that Reno was not fighting like he normally was.
“Why do you keep running after him?” Haruichi’s voice broke through his thoughts. “He will never pay attention to you in the way you want.”
“Why is it your business?” He didn’t want to be rude to the other knight, but Haruichi had a way of getting under his skin easily.
The lord of arrows smiled, a cunning knowing smile that made Iharu’s stomach churn slightly. “Things like this are always my business. You should know this by now, Iharu.”
“Haru,” Aoi interrupted the conversation, not letting Iharu come up with a rebuttal. “Don’t tease him.”
“I’m just trying to give him some advice! He’s just going to get hurt if he keeps pining after a king that will be forced to marry,” Haruichi said with a casual coldness. “All that will happen is a heartbreak of a lifetime that we will be unable to fix.”
Iharu’s mind rushed to catch up with the conversation. “Reno said he wasn’t interested in marriage.” He interrupted whatever Aoi was starting to say. “We had talked about this before.”
“Crown prince Reno will be required to marry after five years on the throne.” Aoi stated with a simple shrug. “It’s common law and there have been very few exceptions to the rule.”
“A king’s job is to make heirs!” Haruichi said in a sing-song voice. “They probably have a list of eligible ladies that he would have to pick from. Those meetings were always such a pain for the ladies involved in that.”
Guilt washed over him. The reality of everything washing over him in a wave. Reno would never care for him in the same way he would love him. He had a job, a duty to the kingdom, to get married, to have a child. Nowhere in those plans - in that life - were plans for a knight like Iharu.
“You’re going to just have to accept the fact that you are just a knight and he is a king.” Haruichi gave him a look of pity. “That’s all you’ll ever be.”
Sadness replaced the guilt as he realized what Haruichi said was completely right.
He was right. He tended to be.
Grabbing his sword, he motioned for Aoi to follow him. He needed to fight, he needed to have a proper fight. Aoi could give him a fight that would get him out of his head.
“Fight like you mean it,” he taunted, giving Aoi a smile.
“As you wish.”
If he couldn’t love Reno, he didn’t know what he would do with his life. So he would have to find a way to still love Reno, even if he didn’t want his love. He just couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t in love with Reno in some form.
He would just need to think of a way to make it work.
It had been five weeks. Five weeks with no midnight rides. Five weeks avoiding Iharu like a plague. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep the act up.
He missed his knight.
It was weird to him that on the day of his coronation, the only thought in his head was how much he missed Iharu at his side. Senpai had noticed something, but he hadn’t said anything. Reno was glad for that, but at the same time, he wished someone had asked him what was wrong.
Iharu would have done that. Iharu always noticed when something was wrong or just not right.
It was lonely without his knight by his side. Even in the sea of people celebrating his crowning tonight, he felt utterly alone.
Worst of all, he couldn’t even see Iharu amongst the crowd of people. He noticed Haruichi and Aoi standing guard together, the vice captain and the captain talking to Senpai, and yet - he couldn’t see his knight anywhere.
He made his way to the balcony, the night air washing over him and clearing his head temporarily. The crown was heavy on his head, he never realized how heavy it was going to be, both physically and metaphorically. When it had been placed on his head, he seemingly felt the struggles of every single citizen in his kingdom, and the silver crown weighed more than he understood.
Senpai had always said that “heavy is the head that wears the crown” and he wasn't quite sure what it meant until now.
Looking out amongst the kingdom, he realized how many people he was caring for, how many people were celebrating his rise to power. Would they love him? Would they despise him? He had always hoped to be a good king - a king like his father.
“My lord,” a voice that he hadn’t heard in weeks caused him to turn around rapidly.
There stood his knight in shining armor. His knight.
“Iharu.” After so many weeks of not speaking his name, it felt almost foreign in his mouth. He didn’t know what to say next. Should he apologize? Should he confess?
“Aoi and Haruichi said you had been looking for me. I’m sorry for the delay.” He didn’t remember asking either of the knights to summon him, but he wasn’t going to let Iharu know that.
“I don’t mind.” He gave him a smile. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been distant.” The knight made his way to his side. “I shouldn’t have disappeared without telling you. But, in truth, you were hard to find.”
“But you found me anyway.” Iharu’s smile was the most beautiful thing. He made it up in his mind that he needed to confess, he had to confess. It was now or never. And this no longer was a secret that he could keep. “I have something I have to say.”
He turned to face back to the overlooking city view, he wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t look at Iharu when he did this. If he had misread everything, he would rather not see his knight’s face when he was rejected.
“Anything for you my lord.” His voice was always so calming.
“I’ve missed you so much in these past weeks. I’m sorry for storming away that day. I should have just told you what was on my mind.” He let his shoulders relax. The words were so hard to say, and yet, the love he felt was the most natural thing in the world. “I didn’t have a way to say how much I truly loved you that day and these few weeks away have confirmed that for me. I understand if you don’t feel-”
Iharu’s laugh caught him off guard as his knight made his way to his side. He wasn’t quite sure why Iharu was laughing the way that he was, but it was nice to hear his laugh. It wasn’t a mocking laugh, but a laugh of relief with something else mingled into it.
“My lord,” he said through laughs. “You are so oblivious sometimes it’s practically a miracle you didn’t notice.”
“Didn’t notice what?” He cocked his head slightly, turning to give the knight a confused look.
“That I have loved you for a long time,” he said as he placed his hands on his cheeks. The smile on his face was genuine. “I have always loved you. Aoi and Haruichi told me it was a foolish love because why would a king like you love a knight like me.”
He smiled at that. “All you had to do was ask and I would have told you.”
“Forgive me then.” His smile seemed to grow. “Then let me ask this one question.”
“Anything for you.” He would have given Iharu anything. His crown, his kingdom, anything he wanted.
“May I kiss you?”
Reno blushed at that, stumbling over his words as he nodded.
He wasn’t expecting Iharu to pull him closer. He wasn’t expecting his lips to be so soft and for him to be so good at kissing. It felt right to be kissing Iharu like this. It felt right to be with Iharu in this way.
He wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer as Iharu’s found his way around his waist.
Maybe he could adapt the rules about his own marriage. He had already found the one that he was going to marry - damn what the council said. He was going to be with his knight and if they didn’t support him, he would find someone who did.
Iharu pulled away, giving Reno a dazzling smile.
“Is it proper for a king to be kissing a knight like this?” He asked, giving him a knowing smile.
“I don’t know. Kiss me again and I’ll tell you.”
With a laugh, Iharu kissed him again and all felt right.