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For their girl’s first birthday, the Doctor wanted to offer her her first trip in the TARDIS.
“I’m not sure the TARDIS is a safe place for a child,” River tried to object.
“Of course it’s safe. Don’t worry. Nothing’s gonna happen.”
Sometimes, River really hates that she’s right.
Two hours later, she and the Doctor are lying on the floor, tied from head to toe while their daughter is sitting on the console and playing with the commands.
“Nothing’s gonna happen?” River repeats the Doctor’s previous words, huffing as she tries to move.
“She’s safe. And we are too. We’re just a bit... limited for now.”
River sighs, squirming. “It’s a euphemism.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t know she was going to find that command.”
“She’s your girl, Doctor. She has to touch everything. Especially when you tell her not to touch because it’s dangerous.”
“Oi! I don’t do that.” He rolls to his side so he can face her, and she rolls her eyes at him.
“Of course you did.”
The Doctor grumbles something River can’t hear - pouting certainly. She doesn’t pay attention, still trying to find a way to get free.
“Can you see what she’s doing?” she asks after a few unsuccessful attempts.
“Flying the ship.”
“Thank you, Sweetie, but I can feel that. Do you know where we’re going?”
“Is it important? Our girl is flying the TARDIS and she’s barely one year old. I think it’s brilliant.”
“Doctor!”
“Okay, okay.” He tries to lift his head - the ties are so tight he can’t even sit up. “I can see her feet! And...” He stops, lying back down and closing his eyes, breathing in deeply.
“Doctor what’s wrong?” All anger has disappeared from River’s voice, replaced by concern. The Doctor opens his eyes a smile.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Who said there was something wrong? It’s alright. Everything is alright. It’s...”
“You’re rambling. Is it really so wrong?”
The Doctor winces and takes a deep breath before answering. “Don’t panic. I think she’s flying us into a supernova.”
“A supernova? We’re gonna burst into a supernova?”
“Not burst. Not exactly. The TARDIS will slowly warm up before melting down. She won’t actually burst before an hour or two.... But the heat will kill us long before then.”
“And you don’t want me to panic?”
“Okay. You can panic.”
River breathes in deeply before shaking her head. “No. It won’t help.”
They both stay silent for awhile. Nothing can be heard but the babbling of their child and the sound of the ship flying to their deaths.
“Maybe we can try to tell her again”, the Doctor proposes.
“We’ve been trying for two hours. She won’t hear anything.”
“A bit stubborn, isn’t she?” He doesn’t sound surprised though, but admiring. There is a smile on his face, and River can’t help but feel the same tenderness for their daughter despite the critical situation.
“She is, yes,” she agrees and they both keep quiet.
“Okay,” River tries again, shaking her head. They can’t spend the last minutes of their lives being fascinated by the girl. They have to find a way to free themselves and go far away from any supernova. “What if we...”
She is interrupted by a sudden jerk of the ship. Tied as they are, they can’t grip anything for support and for a few seconds they roll all over the console room.
“Doctor,” River asks when the ship finally stabilizes and they stop moving.
“Yes?”
“You’re lying on me.”
“Oh.” She’s right; he’s lying half way upon her, his face only a few inches from hers. Usually he wouldn’t mind, but he guesses that’s not the right moment to flirt and tease. He squirms as he can to get off of her and finally drops face down on the floor. He’s trying to turn on his back when he feels River bending over him and sniffing.
“Doctor, what are those ties made of exactly? They smell... sweet.”
A last effort and he can face her again, this time in a more comfortable position. “Yes. They are sweets, sorta. Some kind of liquorice.”
“Why didn’t you tell that before?”
“Because I...” He frowns and stops. “You don’t expect us to eat the whole thing? You know how meters there are?”
“Of course not you don’t need to eat the whole thing. I’m sure if you just bite at a few specific points the ties will loosen enough to free me.” He frowns again.
“Why do I have to eat and free you? Why can’t it be the contrary?”
“Because you’re the clever Time Lord who know exactly where to bite this thing. Plus, this is all your fault.”
He sighs and, defeated, nods. “Okay, turn back, I’ll try to do what I can.”
For the next minutes they don’t say anything, the Doctor observing and calculating before eating some bits of the ties around River. They both try to ignore the fact that it is warmer and warmer inside, and that the previous jerk has surely been the TARDIS landing inside the supernova.
“Okay, I think it’s okay,” the Doctor finally says. River tries to move, and without much effort she manages to free a hand, and the other, and soon she finds herself completely free. She immediately gets on her feet, a muscles quivering a bit after the long time they were restrained. When she’s sure she can move safely, she smiles, blowing a kiss to the Doctor before reaching for her girl.
“Come on Sweetheart, let’s go out of here.”
With a hand she removes the baby from the console, holding her steadily on her hips, and with the other hand she enters new coordinates. The Doctor can’t help but sigh as the TARDIS trembles and immediately begins to cool down.
“What a birthday, you almost got us killed,” River gently teases her daughter, who completely ignores her, trying to reach for the commands again. “No no no, it was enough. Now what do you think of an ice-cream?”
The girl clasps her hands, laughing in delight. River smiles at her as she keeps away from the console. She is almost by the TARDIS’s door when the Doctor shouts at them.
“River!”
“Yes, Sweetie?”
“Won’t you let me go? Please?”
She looks at him, still lying on the ground and wrapped with the liquorice ties, before shaking her head. He gasps.
“No, River, you can’t leave me here!”
“Don’t worry, Sweetie. It’s safe. Nothing’s gonna happen.”
Then she laughs and the baby giggles with her, and they both step out of the ship while the Doctor yells at them.
the end