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Time, like so many things that came with living in the Fade, had become something far more difficult to keep track of. There was no ‘sun’ or darkness of night to let any of the small team now living within the Lighthouse that another day had passed. When to sleep had turned from something of a mundane fact of life to something they had to actually keep track of.
It didn’t help that half of them were made of chronic insomniacs, either, Bellara included. It had caused them enough trouble that Professor Volkaran - Emmrich! - had insisted that they come up with a time schedule to keep them from falling asleep in the middle of battle. She's not entirely sure how well it was working, considering how many of them were still awake and working all hours of the day (her included.)
Bellara paused, setting down a green glass focusing crystal on the table, the light from within flickering dimly for a few beats before extinguishing . The light shining in through her window was the same as it always was in the Fade, an ever present daylight that with none of the warmth associated with sunlight missing, the light a colder, harsher tone. When Bellara had first stepped into the Lighthouse, the first thing she noticed was just how sterile it all felt , the unseen source of their eternal mid-afternoon sunlight lit everything with harsh shadows and washed-out colors. There was an odd beauty to it, she found. The light was ever-present and unnatural but the way it would reflect on the blue-green glass of the hanging suncatchers, how the color would reflect on her hands was unlike anything she'd seen in the natural world. It was strange and completely alien and wonderful all at the same time to her. It made her a little sad, when she learned that there was almost no color at all for her non-elven companions. The landscapes were comprised of grays and browns, all color of the world washed-out and pale.
She looked up at the sheet of paper, creased several times over, tacked onto the wall. It was a little timetable Prof - Emmrich! (She needed to write that down, maybe on her hand? No, she got ink all over her shirt last time she did that.) had written up for her. He seemed…especially concerned for her lack of sleep. It was hardly fair, considering no one in this entire team seemed to live by a normal schedule, anyhow.
If she was correct, she was about four hours behind on when they were supposed to have all gone to sleep. Mythal’enaste! Bellara grimaced, running her hands through the soft strands of her dark hair as she let it out of her hasty updo - it was halfway to falling out, anyhow. She had promised Emmerich to stick to the timetable, but her attention had been sucked into fixing up a few cracks in the eluvian's focuses. She could feel the exhaustion creeping in, the heaviness settling into her limbs as she gave a great yawn, letting her head rest on the cool surface of the wood.
Honestly, the lack of a proper schedule suited Bellara just fine. She was perfectly happy being able to work all hours on the Nadas Dirthalen and the other small artifacts she’d brought with her to tinker on, without having to rely on oil lamps that burned out far too quickly or conjured orbs of light that were never quite bright enough for her taste. She would just sleep when she was so tired her eyes weren’t able to focus themselves anymore. Or standing up, usually face-first into whatever she was working with (it had happened to her before. Outside of the Fade, actually.) Was it healthy? Probably not. But it couldn’t be any worse than Lucanis’ reliance on coffee to keep him awake.
“Heeeey, Bellara,” Rook’s - Cassian’s - voice at the door of her workshop gave Bellara a start, nearly falling out of her stool. She managed to catch herself before she could land face-first onto the floor. He was leaning against the doorway, his white shirt untucked and honey-brown hair far more mussed than usual, the ends sticking every which way not unlike the prickly burr bushes that grew along the edges of Arlathan forest. From the very unsteady way he was swaying to the hazy, far-off look in his eyes, she had the feeling he had indulged a little too much in the way of Lucanis’ Antivan brandy.
“Rook! You startled me,” she breathed.
"Ahhh shit, m'sorry Bel," he chuckled, moving from the doorway (rather unsteadily, she noticed) to lean against the workbench next to her, the desk creaking slightly under his weight. He was close enough now that she could smell the sharp tang of some kind of liquor on his breath.
"Unrelated question, but, um, how much have you had to drink tonight?" Bellara raised her eyebrows at him.
Cassian grinned, his usual cheeky smile crossing his face.
"Do I look that bad?" he snorts, swaying a little more where he leaned on the desk, as if proving her point even more. "I don't uh, usually indulge this much, promise," He looked back down at her, his eyes unhazy but full of that soft smile that seemed to only be reserved for her, in quiet moments like these. It still took her some time to get used to being looked at that way, like she was the only person in the room that mattered. The warmth of his smile was like a ray of warm sun on her skin, a soft warmth that filled her with a love she hadn't felt in a long, long time.
Cassian swayed a little more again, to the point where she was starting to actually worry he might fall over.
"C'mere," she slipped off of her stool, padding over to the pile of pillows and blankets she'd set up as their sleeping spot in the little workshop. She'd started with a single cot set up to throw herself on when she was tired. When Cassian and her had been seeing each other, well, romantically (she still got a little giddy thinking about it), they'd been spending more time together. A lot more time together. And he hated sleeping in the meditation room, partly because in his words, it was "too solas-y" for his taste. Also the fish apparently creeped him out. (What kind of fish even lived in the Fade, anyhow?) She'd actually been the one to suggest he could just sleep in her workshop, and they'd (supiciously) found a stockpile of pillows and blankets in a small alcove she was certain had not been there before.
Bellara opened her arms to him in invitation. She was doing her best to hide the laughter that was bubbling inside her chest, a grin already forming on her lips. "You look like you're about to fall over any second. And you, sir, are in the way of some very delicate artifacts. Breaking them is my job. I'm trying to fix them, I mean, I'm just clumsy and - " She bit her lip, stopping her runaway tongue from ruining the mood even more. "Mythalenaste, I'm rambling again. Here I am trying to be romantic and I'm making it worse -"
Cassian hummed softly, sinking down to let his head rest on her lap softly, his warm cheek resting on her thigh as her hands found his hair automatically, feeling the soft strands of his honey- brown hair against her fingers.
"Bel, you're not ruining anything. I like hearing you ramble," he said softly. She could feel him sigh contentedly against her, burying his face against her shirt.
"Youuuuu smell amazing, Bel. Have I ever told you that? I love how you smell. And look. I love how you look when you put your hair down like that. Maker, you're beautiful. Bellll. Bellaraaaa. Bell-loved. My Belllloveerrrrrr" Cassian rambled against her lap. She could feel the vibrations of his words against her legs. She was doing her very best to not completely lose it, biting her bottom lip as she nodded.
"Mhmm, you've told me plenty of times before, Cass," she grinned. "But are you going to tell me what happened?"
Cassian looked up at her, a spark of mischief forming in his eyes.
"For once, drinking irresponsibly was actually not my idea. I was peer pressured into it," He replied, his tone as serious as he could muster from his position. "Davrin and Lucanis were very insistent I join in,"
Bellara couldn't keep it in any longer, her laughter coming out in small snorts.
"What, like, together?" she giggled. "Since when were Davrin and Lucanis chummy enough to be drinking buddies?"
"I was thinking the same thing, honestly. It turns out, if you exchange enough stories about the insane shit you've done, you find a lot of common ground," he snorted. "Also, alcohol helps. Andraste's tits, the Antivans like a strong fucking brandy," Cassian drifted off, his chest heaving a great sigh.
"I mean, I don't think they're best friends now or anything, but at least I won't have to hold someone back from stabbing the other. I don't even think I could hold Davrin back, if I'm thinking about it," he continued. "I wasn't going to join in, being the responisible leader of our group that I am," he asserted unconvincingly. "But you know, keeping the team morale up and encouraging camaraderie and all that,"
She had stopped listening for just a second, staring down at the man who's face was half-buried in her shirt. His hazel eyes were staring up at her with a far-off look of affection. Her fingers traced the hard edges of his square jaw, the jagged feel of a soft stubble under her touch. The veritable powerhouse of heat that came from Cassian's body and the soft blankets surrounding her was a reminder of just how tired she was as well, the heaviness settling in her limbs made her slump slightly into the pile of soft pillows supporting her back. Oh Creators, she really did need to go to sleep now. She considered if she should move Cass over, reaching a hand to shake his shoulder gently. His eyes were already closed, and she could her his breathing slowing as he dozed off, a soft snore coming from his nose. She paused, letting her hand fall instead. She felt so comfortable here, the comforting weight of his head in her lap, his arms wrapped around her. Well, this was as good of a time for sleep as any here, she supposed.
She let herself lean forward, her head draping over his back so they were wrapped in each other. She's not entirely sure that this position wasn't going to cause some serious soreness in the morning. But that seemed so insignificant at the moment. All the world felt safe and still at that very moment, and she let her heavy eyelids droop closed, a deep sigh escaping her lips.
"G'dnight, Cass," she sighed contentedly. And with some hesitation, she said in a quieter voice, "Love you,"
She could have sworn as she let sleep carry her off into unconsciousness, she heard him say softly,
"I love you too, Bel,"
They could worry about hangovers and stiff backs and world-ending blights and elven gods tomorrow. For now, for tonight, the world had shrunken to the lovers falling asleep in each other's arms.
And that was enough for Bellara.