Chapter Text
He let out a small noise, eyes scrunching tighter as he feels a leg press in between his thighs. a moan, then a shiver, and the shared heat between the two rapidly warmed the room, loud slurping and smacking of lips travelling round the small space of his room. he lets out a small noise as a tongue travels in his mouth, arms wrapping tighter around the other persons neck, before peaking his eye open and seeing-
"FENG XIN?!"
Mu Qing almost screams, terror lacing his face. He had jumped up quicker than his brain had processed, causing a loud crack in his back from 1. The quick movement and 2. The awkward position he slept in due to the too small bed. He woke up in a 'cold sweat' manner, panting loudly. His head snaps to the left, eyes travelling the room. After a few more pants, his breathing eventually evens out, and he glances at the old clock to his left.
3:32 AM.
fuck. he definitely wouldn't be sleeping again tonight anyway, but his first shift isn't until 5:30AM. It's definitely less than ideal, as he has more than an hour before he has to change and get ready, and he wasn’t planning on showering today to keep the water bill low. But its whatever, he supposes. He usually leaves the hot water in case his a-niang would have a longer shower than usual to relax in, worried it'd run out too quickly. Either way, he gets up, slowly lifting the thin, sheet-like blanket off of himself, his feet pressing against the rough, wooden floor. At least the floorboards hadn't given him a splinter straight away again. They couldn't afford anything else other than a few rugs to cover the.. admittedly dirty floorboards. Not their fault though. Stains and odours from previous stays in the cheap household had, in all apparentness, stayed permanently. And no matter how much Mu Qing mopped or broomed or scrubbed the damn floorboards, they seemed intent on staying. Even if he could afford a set of laminate flooring, it'd be for his a-niang, rather than spending fruitlessly on himself when his ill mother clearly needed it more than him.
He sighs as he stands up, his hair cascading down his back. He scowls at the stray hairs he finds on his clothes, walking to the bathroom, avoiding the creaky floorboards as he does so to avoid waking up either his mother or the neighbours beneath. Once he's there, he enters, then turns around and closes the door tentatively with a small click. He walks over to the shower and turns it on, wincing at the loud squeak produced. After a few moments whilst he's undressing, the water finally turns on. He shivers at the cold air of the house, before hesitantly stepping inside.
nothing better than waking up to an ice cold shower. He scoffs in his mind, shivering and quivering as he lathers his hair in the shampoo and conditioner he bought last week with the spare money he had left. A rare luxury for them, but a luxury nonetheless. He washes it out before running conditioner through his hair, then cleaning his body with the cheap bar of soap he had barely had enough for. Once he finishes that he finally washes the conditioner out, dropping the stray strands of hair onto the drain below his feet.
Of course he got out as soon as he could, and once back in his room, checked the clock again.
4 :00 AM.
Okay. That's admittedly better than he was expecting. he routes through his items in the cheap wardrobe in the corner of the dingy room, managing to find the hairdryer he's had since he was about 8 years old. It was a gift from his a-die at seeing Mu Qing's fascination with hair and fashion and such. Well.. That was before he got arrested and put to death. Even now, Mu Qing still mourns.
He feels the familiar stinging sensation behind his eyes that brought nothing but misfortune to him and quickly shakes his head, plugging the hairdryer into the socket and turning it on. Once he finishes drying his(now silky and black rather than oily and grey) hair, he checks the clock again.
4:23 AM
That was good though, it gave him around 20 minuets to get dressed before he had to leave for his job.
He takes around 10 minuets to get dressed, taking another 5 to style his hair up into a half up half down style, which.. looked surprisingly neat despite the lack of the normal amount of bristles on the old brush. Then, he decides to leave early for his job, having nothing else left to do. He exits the apartment with a gentle click, locking it behind him. He tightens the apron around his waist slightly before he starts walking, quickly getting lost in thought.
He'd been working for around two years now since leaving xianle. His mother had grown too ill to keep working, and the strict regulations of Xianle made sure Mu Qing couldn't work, 16 being 'too young' in the eyes of the mayor and mayoress. (everyone knew it was really because they didn't want their son working as he kept applying for jobs; they even had Mu Qing hired at the time as a cleaner and personal handmaid for the boy. They only really fired him because they were called out for the hypocrisy. Actually, in the end, it was him losing that job that had caused them to have to move. they were unable to pay the bills and after a while, well.. eviction was hardly avoidable.) Anyway, after all that had happened he had no choice but to leave. His only regret was.. Well, not really a regret in the sense that he shouldn't have done it, but he regrets what the consequences will be if they find him again. If they noticed that is. Anyway, this regret is that he didn't leave a letter behind for anyone or anything, and just up and left.
A particularly cold breeze blows by Mu Qing, his breath turning to fog in the air as he shivers, finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. The cold air immediately seeping through the thin fabric of his tight shirt, slightly too small. Eventually he'll have to cut into it again and style it to make it bigger with more fabric he manages to get as a little bonus in one of his part time jobs. He knows he only gets this bonus because the owner of the fashion store pities him, but.. Well, he cant exactly complain. Free stuff is free stuff.
He's still.. based on where he is, around 20 minuets away from his place of work, so in the mean time he just thinks whilst looking around ghost city. It's mostly red, large banners and fabrics swaying in the wind everywhere, and the stones and slabs are majorly made of black. Its a pretty city, however It's riddled with crime and gang dealings; in most of China its seen as 'the underworld'.. actually, speaking of, what is it with ghost city and its themes of death and the afterlife...? Anyway, he eventually makes it to his job, using the key to open the back door and walking inside. Its.. well, It's a cafe/bar type of place, and he gets everything ready and wiped down before opening up, going behind the counter and sitting down, staring up at the tv the cafebar owns and watching whatever's playing. They don't have one of these at home, or a device really other than the laptop his other job provided for work.
He looks around, wincing at the dirty.. well, not quite dirty, but rather run down place with how old it is. He knows he should start applying for other part time jobs soon. Ever since the new Chengzhu had ascended after the previous one died, though crime rates have been slowly going down, or, well, being kept in check, many businesses not 'up to par' had been being shut down too.
He sighs, desperately wishing his workmate was here so he could ask for a cig or something. Unfortunately they called in sick, and were allowed because the early morning shift was largely.. unproductive, as nobody really comes in at times like that. Speaking of his workmate, he's sure he only works here for the free food and drinks he can have as long as he makes them himself-- or, well, usually gets Mu Qing to make them whilst he deals with customers. He.. He Xuan, he believed his name was? The door chimes as someone walks inside, and he glances at the door. It's one of the regulars, so he starts to make her order when the woman comes over and pays, oolong tea with two small pancakes. The next couple of hours continue in this way before the woman who works the shift after his finally walks in. Ling Wen, he believed? She's actually only a filler worker for the boss whilst he finds a new person for the job, and only stays there for around half an hour due to her busy schedule.
Once she walks behind the bar, he's quick to take his leave, exiting the establishment and beginning the trek back to his dingy apartment.
The next few hours go by as a blur, mostly just him looking after his mother and helping her walk around, as well as giving her her doses of medicine and cooking her a light broth. He knows she's getting worse; her prescription needs upping, but he cant afford it. At all. He.. Despite how thinking it makes his heart ache and his eyes swell with tears, he doesn't expect her to have very long left. Especially considering the memory issues she's been having lately; asking him about people of his past time, such as Feng Xin or Xie Lian and even a couple times his father, in which he's had to gently redirect the conversation. Now is one of them times, actually. He's sat down with his mother, helping her eat the broth gently and patiently on the bed, her being leaned up against the backboard. Until she pauses that is, staring at him as she raises a shaky, feeble hand to his hair, gently caressing it between her fingertips.
"My Qing-er.. you've always had such pretty hair.. Where.. Where is that boy? ..Feng Xin?.." His mother had asked him. It stuns him into silence for a moment, before gently raising the spoon to her mouth again, "Not here, a-niang.. We moved, remember?" He replied weakly.
"You.. You still are with him though, right?" She questioned once again. quietly, weakly.
And.. This time Mu Qing didn't know how to reply. He hesitates for a moment, before deciding to lie, not knowing what her answer would be like, nor her reaction. "..Yes, a-niang, we.. We are.."
'Mm.. That's good.. He's such a nice boy.. He's good to my Qing-er.." She smiles softly, nodding, and the spoon raises to her mouth again.
. . .
Fuck. He hates this. He hates how he feels as his hands go clammy and his mouth goes dry at her statement.
"Y-yeah.. Yeah, alright, a-niang. C'mon now, finish your meal.." He just replies meekly. After a small while she finishes eating, and he tucks her to bed. Once he's sure she's asleep he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, before leaving for work again. It's around 5pm now. The day has been.. Admittedly slow progressing. He.. He doesn't know what he will do once she does die. Honestly, she's probably the only reason he hasn't either killed himself or moved countries yet. It'd be cruel to leave her whilst she's so.. vulnerable. Unable to look after herself. In recent years the illness has progressed much too fast. Faster than it used to. And if he killed himself too he'd have at least done it whilst he was still in contact with Feng Xin and/or Xie Lian. Maybe then they'd feel bad. He fucking hopes they would, despite how evil or selfish it sounds. But they probably wouldn't. They.. admittedly likely wouldn't have even noticed if he was gone. Even now, what if they hadn't?....
Anyway, after a short walk he finally makes it to the small boutique. It's the closest thing he'd get to what he actually wanted to work as anyway. He'd long since given up on attending any college or university; far too expensive for his empty hands. He opens the door gently and closes it with a click, heading to the back. His boss is there, a soft smile on her face as she looks at him.
Pity. His mind supplies for him. He hates it. The look of pity from back when he first started is back again, as if she knows something is up.
"Hello, Mu Qing. How have you been recently?" She asked him, and he kept his face neutral but.. It's a near thing to wincing when he realises he doesn't really know how he's been feeling. He hasn't really had.. Well, the time to think about how he's feeling.
He choses to just look away and nod, "fine.." He ends up replying quietly anyway despite her clearly being satisfied with the nod anyway. He mostly just works in the back, sorting through the clothing and then the files of customers and their needs, except today he seems to be being accompanied by his boss anyway. She attempts to make small talk a few times, and he gives her short answers, mostly working in silence. At the end, he thanks her for her help with a small bow, before leaving the small boutique. He walks down the bustling streets for a while, honestly just wondering around all the stalls more than anything, because god knows he cant buy anything, and there's no point in going inside the gamblers den to try and win money, because he'd probably just embarrass himself.
After a short walk, he eventually begins to head towards his house, which was still quite a while away anyway, probably more now. Except, as he turns onto one of the narrower alleyways to get home quicker, he feels his wrist get grabbed by a firm hand. His dark, thin eyes widen and he immediately whips round, punching the stranger in the face out of pure survival instincts that still seem stuck in his muscle memory from when he first moved to ghost city and had to defend himself. The stranger curses loudly, the voice sounding oddly familiar, and that's when he finally gets a good look at them-
"Mu Qing!-"
His eyes widen in horror as he immediately recognises the espresso brown hair, the furrowed brows and defined features- oh. And his nose despite the blood running down it. But alas, its undoubtedly Feng Xin. He freezes up, eyes wide as he feels his breath catch in his throat, feeling his chest constrict. He'd definitely trained a lot more since Mu Qing had last seen him, now carrying a much larger frame than Mu Qing.. well, he'd always been bigger than Mu Qing(and carried himself better) in everything but height and strength, in which they were evenly matched. But in comparison to their actual bodies? Feng Xin had always been larger.
They seem to stare at each other for a moment in disbelief, almost as if not really believing they're seeing each other for real and that its just their imagination. Then, however, Feng Xins face takes a turn, contorting barely, but into an expression of desperation. After all, Mu Qing had just up and left without, 1. saying anything to anyone, and 2. letting Feng Xin apologise.
"Mu Qing, please-" The other started, reaching out for Mu Qing. However, this caused the opposite reaction he wanted, and Mu Qing steps back as if burnt, before turning on his heel and bolting down the alleyway. Of course, the man chases after him, but he hasn't been here all that long and Mu Qing takes as many turns and twists as he can, and eventually gets home. He didn't even bother to check if Feng Xin managed to follow him, just locking the front door with shaky, trembling hands. So bad in fact that he barely got the key in before sliding down the door. He pants, loudly, and eventually just falls asleep against the door.