Chapter Text
That day was a mistake. I don’t regret the actions taken, but I regret the outcome. A few days prior to the following events, I had received a letter from Gracie informing me that she was going to be wed to a man named Ken. “Dear Gilbert, I’m getting married! His name is Ken and he is more delicious than a Chiko Roll - ha ha. Seriously,we are madly in love and can’t wait for you to come over. -Gracie.” She wanted me to walk her down the aisle and sent me some money for the trip over. I had rushed to tell my friend, Ben, the news. I called him over from across the shed at which we worked. I put stickers on apples, while he put the apples into crates to be shipped off. He was over joyed by the news. Ben was the only normal person at that farm, everyone else was crazy apple worshipers. I was sure, that what ever they had going on was some sort of cult. Work, pray, and sleep was the daily routine. Well, except for me and Ben that is. Every even day of the week we met behind the church and I practiced my fire eating in secret. It was our own kind of magic, I drank petrol and blew fire out while Ben watched in awe. This was the only time I was able to due to my foster mother, Ruth, thinking it was the devils magic or something along those lines. Ben enjoyed watching me, it was the only time he could actually be relaxed and be his real self. Around Ruth, Owen, and the other three morons, he’s always nervous. He was always seen as different by them, but in actuality they were the different ones, not him. Over time me and Ben’s relationship grew in one way or another.
Two weeks after I had received the letter me and Ben had been hanging out during the free time we had after doing our apple labor. “When are you planning on leaving?” The timid boy asked me while sitting on the cold grass near the back of the church. “In a couple of days” I responded.
“I’m going to miss you, you were the only person who actually made me feel like an actual somebody.”
“You can come with if you want”
“what?”
“There’s enough money for the both of us, if Gracie doesn’t have enough room for the both of us you can stay with me.”
“Mother would never allow me to go”
“Then just don’t let her find out”.
He went quiet and looked up at me. “I… I would like that” he sighed out with a funny looking grin, it wasn’t funny looking in a bad way. It was his signature smile, it reminded me of a cat. He always complained about how his smile looked, telling me how he wished it was normal like mine, but I always insisted I loved his smile. It made him unique . I reached my hand down to him. He grabbed on and intertwined our fingers together. They fit perfectly together, like we were designed for each other. It may sound cliche, but come on! What are the odds that we could meet in a hell hole like this of all places? Fate had to have some sort of connection, if fate even exists that is. I’m not sure what I even believe in anymore, with all this fruit worshipping brainwash, I don’t think I even want to believe in anything. Well, everything except for him. I pulled him up from the ground with a tug and we became so close. It wasn’t like we haven’t been this close before, it was just the fact that we wouldn’t have to hide behind some shitty cultish church anymore. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. I wish it could have actually been an eternity. Staring into each other’s eyes under the bright, ember ignited sky was one of the best feelings I had left in my world. We were so close that I could hear his heart pick up to a higher rate, and I was sure he could hear mine as well. I broke the silence and smiled “Just imagine a world where we don’t have to hide, where we don’t have to wake up at the break of dawn and work with stupid apples for hours on end. Where we don’t have to sit in an ass hurting pew. Or, a world where you don’t have any one pushing their expectations onto you.” His eyes glistened and shimmered brighter than any of the sunny stars rays that morning. We swayed back and forth while holding onto eachother hands — which later turned into an embrace. We stood there in silence. Everything that had needed to be said had already been told, so why not just enjoy this moment? I wondered how things would be once we left that horrid place. What would Ben look like if he grew his hair out? What would he want to do with his life? What hobbies would he acquire? Would that vile woman try to hunt us down. Or, would she catch E. coli and become bed ridden for the rest of her filthy life? Only time would tell, but for now it would be best to think only on the bright side. For Ben’s sake.
We basked in each others arms for a few more minutes and then broke away. Ben delicately lifted my hand to his face and kissed the snail ring that Gracie had given to me. The ring had once belonged to our mother who passed while giving birth to us. This ring was the only thing, except for the letters, that kept me tied to Gracie. Moments where Ben was bold were few. But when these moments did happen, they were memories I would play on repeat in my head over and over again. He grinned, blushed, then looked away. The same sequence of events that happened every time he realized what he just did. I caressed his cheek and turned his face to look at mine. I leaned in and kissed him. His lips were a mix of both chapped and soft lips, the perfect mixture. Every time we did something of the romantical genre he would freeze up and then relax for a while. But this time, it was different. He was calm the whole time, his body never stiffened. He was finally alright with how we are, how we were “different”. He had came to terms with our relationship.
The kiss was passionate and sweet. This was going to be our last kiss at this stupid orchard. Our next was going to be out side of it’s bounds. Maybe on our way to Gracie’s house or after. I think Ben knew that. We only usually did anything intimate in the night, to prevent anyone from seeing us. But, today we did it out in the open in the middle of the day. This would be a decision I would come to regret. I should have skimmed the area before leaning into that kiss, maybe if I did. The outcome would have been different.
We broke away from the kiss, just looked at each other, held hands, and smiled. But, no good moment can last forever. The scene was interrupted by the screeching of that woman’s voice, “Lucifer!”. That witch of a woman always had to ruin the good things in life for me, she had seen us while hiding behind a tree. As soon as Ben had heard his mother’s voice, he swiftly let go of my hand and stiffened up. We were back to square one of Ben being comfortable. Though this situation was shit, I just looked at her and grinned. We’re going to be out of here soon enough, so why not tick her off just for the fun of it?
I thought that if anything like this were to happen, I would be the only one facing the consequences. But that was far from the truth. Later that night, Ruth and Owen taped around 20 magnets on both of us to “cleanse our auras”? I don’t know, some bullshit made up from the cult I guess. They then tied us up to a “desataniser” which went from 2000 volts all the way up to 6000 volts. But, it wasn’t just me who had to go through this, Ben had to as well. It was all my fault, I wasn’t careful enough. The three morons, who I can’t be bothered to remember their names, were going to be in control of the voltages. Well, we’re screwed, these buffoons had the brains of koalas. They’ll find some way to make this more a living hell than it has to be. They were all giddy to have this job, fiddling their fingers and shit. They had probably dreamed of doing horrific stuff to us before, and now their dreams came true.
“It’s not enough to just ‘pray the gay away’, we need to cast the demons out from their souls”. That was Ruth’s excuse for this abuse. Before it began me and Ben kept on sneaking glances at each other. Once the machine was ready to electrocute the hell out of us, Ben patted my hand to calm me down after I clenched my fist. He was the one comforting. I should be the one comforting him. I’m the one who got him into this mess. So, why is he comforting me instead?
Owen started to spout stuff about the evilness leaving our bodies and they started singing or something. I don’t really know what was happening during that ritual but it was something. When they started making that “sah” sound, Ben looked at me and whimpered in fear. He wanted me to help him, help him to escape the pain to come. But, I didn’t know how. There was nothing in my power to protect him.
“The time has come! Purge their souls!” The bitch announced, indicating to the three imbeciles to start the exorcism. The one who can’t read, that’s all I know about him, was the one who started up the machine. He was ecstatic for this to be happening, considering how he hated us both. He cackled with a big fat grin while he wiggled his fingers and turned on the desatanizer. “Cleanse their sickness!” That was the only thing I heard before pulses of electricity went thought my body.
It pained me to hear Ben during at moment. The feeling of 4000 volts wasn’t the greatest. But, the feeling of the volts and the feeling of how he “disappointed” his family had to have been excruciatingly worse. Ben didn’t deserve this. Any of it. He didn’t deserve to be put into this family. How did angel like him originate from devils like these?
The whole time, Owen was chanting stuff along the lines of “Gay away!” And “Out Gayness!” While Ben’s brothers did… strange to the say the least arm and hand movements while doing the singing ritual thing again. Me and Ben kept on making eye contact, which I wish we really didn’t. I didn’t want to see him in that state. Especially since I was the one at fault for it. I just getting used to my body being electrocuted at 4000 volts, which is very legal to do to your son and foster child, until they made the 4000 volts to 6000 volts. When the increased 2000 volts hit my body, it was getting harder to bear. My eyes were watery and blood shot, I have to guess Ben’s were the same. At this point, I didn’t care anymore. There was no point in pretending to be strong now. I started to scream due to the pain, while Ben, tried to hold his back by biting his lower lip.
During the entirety of this, Ruth was smiling. How could be smiling while this was happening? Sure I wouldn’t expect her to care if this just happening to me. But, this was also to her son. Her own son. Doesn’t she have just a douse of sympathy inside of her? Everything about this cold, demented, woman pisses me off. The way the standing there without a care, just enjoying the show, made me want to rip her limb from limb.
“Enough!” Just one word was enough for everything to go away. Once she bored she turned it off, so easily. All of this just for her enjoyment? Was this even about making the “gay go away” anymore? Or did she just wanted an excuse to hurt Ben along with me? When the machine turned off, I could hear Ben desperately trying to catch his breath. He had his tongue sticking out like a dog. The expression he had on his face made me want to kill that cultist of a woman right then and there. So, I tried to. As soon as I became collected from the shock, I desperately pushed myself out of the confines of the rope holding me and Ben. The rope ripped and I charged myself at Ruth. But, she moved out of the way and I landed straight into a pile of the Garden of Eden’s apples that were in a crate. The crate broke due to the force I put onto by jumping at her. Everyone was towering over me while I sat next to piles of apples, except for Ben who had just became aware again. “Get him!” Ruth exclaimed as if she was setting the three sons she actually cared for on me like dogs. They started to close in on me while the one with a concerningly big head palmed his fist.
I thought all hope was lost, that this was it for me. Ben would be too scared to speak with me ever again, I would have to practice my fire eating all alone, and I would have to live the rest of my life without him. Until, like a beacon of light, a nervous voice spoke out. “Look, an angel!” Ben blurted out while pointing behind the group of apple cultist. Like the group of idiots they are, they turned around. At first, I was confused beyond belief. I thought he was hallucinating or something, until I realized he was distracting them for me.
They looked around and finally noticed that Ben was just pointing at a bird. “Liar!” Ruth bellowed to Ben as he was smiling gleefully. They then turned around to get back to beating my arse but little did they know I already got away. With this, Ruth was mad. She started growling like a wild animal and called Ben a Judas while he was giggling. After I had escaped the barn, I grabbed a bottle of petrol and my matches and ran to the church. I bursted through the door and started chugging petrol like I never had before. I lit a match and set the podium at which the Bible rested at ablaze. I went around and burned everything this cult held dear, the cross with an apple framed in the middle, the signs on the pews, and the shelf that held the hymns. I ran around burning windows and walls, I bumped into the case that held their precious apple and the glass shattered all over the floor. Finally, the whole church was on fire. The only thing this family cared about will be gone. Ruth ran over to the building that was engulfed in flames trying to get me to stop. When she reached the frame of the door, I clenched my fist and began to run towards her. Before I could reach her, she closed the door and locked it. Leaving me to claw at the door begging to be released.
In the end, Ruth had gotten what she wanted. I would be dead and Ben would have go back to pretending to be something he isn’t. But, this isn’t what I want. I don’t want to die. I’ll never get to see Gracie’s wedding, or be able to have my first date with Ben. I don’t want Ruth to get her happy ending, I want mine. I won’t give up, I can’t. With sudden boost of adrenaline I scoured the room for a way out. My gaze landed on a window in the back of the church. It was my only way out. I broke the glass and ran as far as I could in hopes of being able to cross the desert and reach Gracie. I had no time to go back for the money, so I had to make this journey on foot. I wish I went back for Ben but if I had, it would have probably put him in more danger. I don’t want to imagine his face to seeing my “death”. The emotional anguish he must have went through will be worth it when I get back to Gracie then go back for him.