Work Text:
Why am I staying?
Childe stared at the harbor’s rippling waves as they meet the sand, a calming splash ringing in his ears. He stayed seated on the end of a cliff, his hands placed on the grass behind him. He continued to stare, looking for the answer of the question which has become a constant recurring thought.
His eyes landed on a regal man strolling along the streets. His brown hair cascaded elegantly along his back as he stared ahead, his presence exuding sophistication and luxury. His molten amber eyes seemed to be looking for something as he coincidentally raised his head and their eyes met. The man’s eyes crinkled with joy as a smile slowly spread on his lips, raising a hand to wave at the other.
Oh.
Childe thought, his eyes widening slightly before an easy smile spread on his lips as he waved back.
So you’re the reason.
Childe left his apartment right after the sun had set. Zhongli had invited him over in his humble abode to have dinner and since he didn’t have anything urgent to do, he accepted. He navigated through Liyue Harbor’s streets, ignoring the disdainful gazes along the way.
He reached the man’s home after a while, softly knocking on the wooden door as light footsteps slowly made their way to the door, the lock clicking softly as the door opened. A pleasant aroma immediately entered his nose as a grin instinctively spread on his lips.
“Good evening, Zhongli.” He greeted, brimming with joy.
Zhongli matched his grin with a sweet smile of his own as he opened the door wider, gesturing for the other to come in.
Childe welcomed himself with a nod, following Zhongli to the kitchen as they settled on their seats. They made small conversation with each other as they ate, eventually washing the dishes side by side as they ended up on the balcony, watching the sparkling stars in the night sky.
“Childe.” Zhongli said softly as Childe turned to him with a hum.
“There’s… something I wish to tell you.” He said, nervousness swirling in amber eyes as ocean hues met them with curiosity.
“Yeah, what is it?” He replied, letting his head rest on his own shoulder with a tilt of his head.
“I… hold a conflicting amount of affection and adoration for you.” He confessed, his gaze unwavering as a chuckle left the other’s lips.
“I adore you too, Zhongli.” Childe replied playfully, a grin on his lips.
“Childe.” He said, a small smile on his lips as he placed a hand on top of the other’s. “I mean that I love you, romantically.”
Childe froze, his eyes gradually widening as he started nibbling on his lip. He broke eye contact as he suddenly stood, the other looking at him with a question.
“I have to go.” He blurted out, his eyes darting around as if looking for excuses. “I… I’m going back to Snezhnaya. Thank you, really, for everything. It was good while it lasted.”
He started to leave before a hand held his wrist softly, stopping him in his tracks. He could break free but he chose not to, his lips starting to bleed.
“My dear.” Zhongli said hesitantly.
“Zhongli.” He almost hissed. “Please, let go.“
“I apologize for placing this unnecessary burden on your shoulders. It was selfish of me to think that you’d reciprocate such emotions. But please, don’t leave like this. I… hope we can stay friends even after this unfortunate turn of events.” He whispered into the night, his grip on the other’s wrist loosening as Childe turned to face him.
“It’s… not like that.” He said quietly.
“You don’t have to lie. It’s wholly my fault for being selfish.” Zhongli replied, forcing a smile. “Still, I hope we-“
“I love you.” Childe blurted, continuing to bite on his lips. “I… I love you back.”
“Oh. Is that so?” He questioned as a reply, his smile becoming softer as he let go of the other’s wrist. “But, if that is so, how come you acted nothing like it?”
Childe took a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowed as he clenched his fist. “This is a mistake. I’m a weapon, Zhongli. I’m not supposed to feel these things that make me feel weak and vulnerable. I have to be of use to Her Majesty the Tsaritsa. I’m a weapon she must confidently wield.” He said through gritted teeth.
“If I succumb to the warmth you willingly give me. If I let myself surrender to the whims of love and fate. Then what kind of weapon, am I? My purpose will cease to exist, and I don’t want that.”
“A war will come the moment she will be in possession of all seven Gnosis, and if I return as a weapon dulled with such love and emotion, I won’t be able to assist in making her ideals be a reality.” He said, tears pooling in ocean eyes.
“I understand, dear.” He whispered with a smile, caressing the other’s cheek.
“Then, swear to me, after the war comes to a close, you will come back. I will wait for as long as it takes. I will welcome you back with a smile and a hug after the tiring war. My dearest, the love of my life, my only sweetheart. I swear to you that I will wait. So, promise me?” He asked endearingly, placing his palms on the other’s cheeks, gently wiping his tears with his thumb.
“I promise. I… will come back.” Ajax replied with a nod.
Zhongli slowly brought the other’s face closer as he bumped their foreheads together, a fond smile spreading on his lips as he whispered four words.
“I love you, truly.”
The stars twinkled, the only witness to their heartfelt promise, soon to be broken by the laws of a ruthless world.
It was raining heavily. The feeling of rain on skin starting to become painful the longer one stayed beneath it.
However, Ajax stood unfazed before the consultant’s grave with a drenched bouquet in his hand. He stared at the cruel cement etched with the man’s name on it as the brutal rain dripped from his face like the tears he wanted to hide.
He stood silently, the bouquet eventually falling to the ground as he crouched before the grave solemnly. He hugged his legs tightly, staring at the other’s grave.
“My love.” He whispered, his voice shaky. “You broke our promise.”