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The sound of monsters cheering filled the arena as Kafka's body fell to the cold floor. Blood was dripping down, pooling beneath his head as a sign of defeat. The screen behind became the most obvious sign, showing the vote he earned against his opponent tonight.
HOSHINA WIN
Kafka lost against Hoshina after he fell for his manipulation, resulting in his underwhelming performance. He was shot on the neck, making it hard for the rebel squad to rescue him. He never even imagine he could survive this far and was planning to give up, but he saw Reno's face in the crowd and it gave him a new piece of hope. Even when he lost, he was still happy that he could see his beloved once again. However, the same thing was also happening to his opponent.
Hoshina's eyes wide open when he saw a familiar figure from his past. The person who gave him hope and his safe place, the same person who he thought to be dead all along was here.
"Narumi—!" Hoshina tried to reach out to him, but soon a gun was being pointed at his head.
Narumi glanced at him while holding his wounded torso. The hurt in his eyes was evident, be it from the death of Kafka, Reno's tears, or Hoshina's excited expression despite being held at gun point. He quickly put on his cap and hoodie, hiding his face from everyone's eye sight.
Confusion washed over Hoshina's face for a moment. His eyes followed Narumi's every movement, observing him with longing. His smile grew bigger by seconds, being overwhelmed as his wish to be able to see Narumi once again was fulfilled.
His lover was here, within his reach.
Ignoring the danger of guns being pointed at him, Hoshina walked toward Narumi with the excitement of a child. Imagine how happy he felt when he see Narumi ran towards him and threw himself at him, hugging him tightly.
Hoshina was so happy.
"What are you doing, Bowl Cut?"
Hoshina looked up at Narumi who was staring at his sketchbook. He happily showed his drawing, shoving the book towards his face. "Us! I just got new set of sketchbook and coloring pencil, so I thought I should draw us."
Narumi took the book from Hoshina's hand and looked at it. He couldn't hide his smile upon seeing it, admiring his best friend's talent. He took a seat next to him, pulling him by his shoulder closer so he could lean against his shoulder. "This is great! Can we draw something together now? Let's draw each other!"
Hoshina's eyes were showing hope and happiness, something he could never show to anyone else before. Seeing how Narumi excitedly pick a pencil and began drawing, he couldn't resist not doing the same thing. His tiny hand grabbed a pink one, drawing some things beside Narumi.
It was one of daily routine in Anakt Garden aside from the training, living their best life before they went up to the stage. Sure they lived their life with constantly being observed, but at least it was still better than being abandoned. After all, no one would mourn for them if they died alone.
Narumi and Hoshina were the closest contestants in there, spending most of their time together. They were practically inseparable, because Hoshina had always been following Narumi everywhere, as if he was hogging him all to himself. Many of the other contestants were jealous with him, because Narumi was like the big brother figure for them and Hoshina wouldn't let him go with anyone else.
Hoshina and Narumi were like two peas from the same pod, same yet different at the same time.
Narumi had always see through Hoshina, knowing the fact he could be a bit possessive when it came to him. He thought because Hoshina had always been a frail child, so he paid more attention to him and protect him from the other children. He had to act like a wall, always there for Hoshina to lean and protected him. One that started as a kind gesture changed into something else, something that Narumi deeply regreted.
The sight of a dead child in front of him was nothing new for Narumi, but that wasn't the cause of the horrified expression on his face. He threw a glance at Hoshina and was shocked to see that his best friend wasn't even crying. Instead, what he saw on his face was a smile.
Hoshina was smiling at him.
"Narumi, we're going to be together forever, right?" Hoshina wishpered as they both sat beneath the giant tree. He leaned against Narumi's back, clearly feeling good. "You don't have to always protect me, because I can protect you too."
"Mhm..." That was the only answer Narumi could muster to say, to stop him from crying out loud. He never thought his protection to Hoshina would be resulting in what happened earlier, the death of a human child. He made Hoshina kill someone because of love.
Because of their love, someone had to die.
Narumi had always been being haunted by his guilt, by his inability to be strong enough to not be swayed. He always had a big mouth, claiming that he was the strongest and could do whatever he wanted to. He was everyone's big brother, so he gotta be strong. However, even the strongest also had his own weakness.
Watching so many of his rebel friends died after they rescued him from the stage brought nightmare. He kept trying his best to keep all of them alive, doing whatever he could to keep them safe. Still, despite all of his effort, he still failed to keep them safe, paying heavy price for his failure.
Narumi woke up with confusion on his face, finding out his left leg had been replaced by a prosthetic. He then glanced at Mina and Rin, smiling at the two of the who brought him food. He felt grateful to have them by his side, to be his pillar when he began to feel at lost.
He couldn't be at lost for too long, because there were plenty of people he needed to save.
"I told you saving Kafka will be hard! This plan can get one of us to die and that's if we go with the smoothest way!"
"We still have to try! We just have to save both of them!"
Narumi could only sigh in defeat. Saving both Hoshina and Kafka would need extra plan, meaning he'd suffer more headache. Still, he nodded his head and hug the crying Reno to calm him down.
"We're going to save them, we have to try."
Ah, Narumi was indeed weak. His weakness brought all of them back to the stage that killed many of them, forcing him to face his greatest weakness.
BANG!
Loud bang could be heard amidst the crowd of monsters. The cheering was loud, so loud yet it failed to drown the voice of Narumi in Hoshina's ear. They were witnessing Narumi, who said to be 'The Strongest', taking a bullet to keep the winner safe.
"Naru...mi?" Hoshina moved his hands to where Narumi got shot, staining his hands with his blood. "This has to be—"
"I resented you, Hoshina."
Hoshina gasped in horror as tears began to flow from his eyes. He could feel Narumi's arms around him began to tighten up, as if refusing to let him go.
"I had to keep moving forward... in every moment," Narumi stopped mid sentence to cough out blood, "but you've always been my greatest weakness."
Hoshina's eyes widened in surprise. He knew Narumi had always been hiding something, but never in his wildest dream that this was his secret. He could only stood there, crying in silence as he held Narumi's body to stand still.
"That's why—" Narumi choked on his tears, "I resented you."
"Narumi...?"
"I resented you so much...." Narumi smiled through his tears. He put one hand on Hoshina's head, gently ruffling his perfectly combed bowl cut. "Hoshina, live with love."
"Medic... we should get you—"
"Hoshina... embrace the pain, fraility, even the unbearably shameful moments. Again... and again, forgive yourself endlessly...."
Hoshina was silent, not uttering a single word when he felt Narumi's arms around him suddenly loosen up. It was his turn to embrace him tightly, refusing to let him go. Even as the body in his arms gradually losing the warmth that he loved, he still refused to let him go.
How could he forgive himself? Because of him, Narumi died.
Narumi died, smiling as he was being embraced.
Forgive...
Continue to forgive...
Endlessly like the circle of Samsara.