Chapter Text
18/04/13
Dear Diary,
It’s always Hooper this and Hooper that.
Always “You’re his clone! Why can’t you be like him?” Or “What a pity that a replica isn’t as good as the original!”
It’s aggravating, tiring, humiliating.
It makes me want to tear out my hair, my eyes, even this stupid mole!
Maybe I won’t be as grand as him, maybe I will be.
Who knows, who cares? I’m nothing but a replica that can be discarded whenever they please.
How much more humiliation will I need to endure to be good enough?
Sincerely,
Hooper 205-A
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18/04/14
Dear Diary,
Another shameful act of mine. Another shameful display of mine.
Another day of berating. Another day of endless training.
Another hour of pain. Another hour of stressing.
Another minute awaiting my scores. Another minute awaiting my punishment.
Sincerely,
Hooper 205-A
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18/04/15
Dear Diary,
Otis says that I’m getting better, that I’m doing well in my training. He says I might even become better than Hooper.
That’s what I want.
To be better.
To be his replacement.
To be a better him.
Sincerely,
Hooper 205-A
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18/04/16
Dear Diary,
I thought I was getting better. I thought I was doing well. Otis told me so!
But no. No. I wasn’t getting better. No.
I got worse. How did that happen?
Did my greed get the better of me?
Sincerely,
Hooper 205-A
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18/04/17
Dear Diary,
Why do I keep failing? Am I focusing too much on being better? Am I too much of a fool to see through my own fleece?
I’ll be better. I’ll be good. I’ll be a better Hooper.
I can trust you on that.
Sincerely,
Hooper 205-A