Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She couldn't do it.

Of course, she couldn't do it. Just like always, she couldn't pull the trigger. Even though she knew she could. She KNEW she could. She’s done it before. She’s killed her loved- once loved ones before. She should have been able to do it again but she couldn’t. Not for Magpie.

…for Evie.

She couldn't. And really, she knew she wouldn’t be able to the moment the truth came out. The moment Magpie’s true name was revealed in the middle of battle, when she put on that haunting helmet. When everything made sense. The lack of a corpse, the mystery around this girl, everything clicked into place in the worst way possible.

It’s been too many years hearing that third gunshot. Too many months after finding out Evie’s body was never recovered. Too much grief and hope, there was no way she could pull the trigger on her baby sister. And everyone on the battlefield knew it, to her humiliation.

Everyone knew it as Magpie tore down the city, just like their uncle had done. Everyone knew when they saw her backstab Max, her- her friend. Everyone knew before Nova had even drawn her gun.

And then, the choice had been taken from her. With an amending

BANG

She didn't have to pull the trigger, she didn't even know who had. But in a moment Magpie was down.

Before she had known it she had rushed to her side, the large helmet falling from the girl’s small head the moment the shot rang out. And Nova found herself cradling… Maggie. Evie. Some random girl. The girl who she had missed for so long. She had lost too soon.

And would lose again.

As Magpie’s last words were muffled in choking and gurgles, in the corner of her eye Adrian pulled out an Hourglass artifact with a piece of paper.

And

everything

went

White…

.
.
.
.
.

She bolted up, as if she’d woken up from a nightmare.

A… nightmare? But she can’t dream. Nonetheless, her heart pounded all the same. Fog slowly cleared from her head. Had she been knocked out?

She shifted, adjusting herself into a more comfortable position as she rubbed her eyes. Her limbs ached less than normal. What medication was she on that was that strong? She’d have to ask later. She must be high on something for it to overpower her chronic pain and make her feel… smaller?

Through her still closed eyelids, she realized it was strangely dark. Did the med wing turn off the lights for the night? If she was in the med-wing, had it been a dream or… was it real? What happened?

She opened her eyes and caught sight of an all too familiar poster. Her breath hitched and she looked around, greeted to the sight of her old train car.

Chapter Text

Nova’s thoughts raced as she looked wildly around the small space. Her eyes darted from object to object, but everything was hazy. Her ears ringed. She shut her eyes tight. How how how how-

Her hands tightened into fists. Or at least they would have, if not obstructed by an object that was now digging into her hand. She opened her eyes and unwrapped her fingers from.. A toy bazooka. One of the broken plastic edges had sliced her thumb, the blood oozing slowly down to her palm. She focused on the sting. Breathe, Nova.

She took a shaky breath in. And out.

There was no denying she was back in the tunnels the moment the cold air hit her damp brow. Her skin prickled at the familiar stench and stale air. She had forgotten how suffocating it could be down here.

She sat up from her work station and blinked just a bit more to rid herself of her disorientation. Sighing, she stretched and scratched where she felt sleep lines had formed on her face and arms.

They were not marks she was entirely familiar with, she had to admit. Usually she saw it most during Team Sketch’s overnight stake outs. And after the occasional sleep over. Resulting in morning jokes about said marks.

A light smile momentarily graced her face from the thought.

Once she collected herself, she turned her attention back to the altered bazooka. Her smile fell. It isn’t much of a toy anymore, though it’s far from the final design that the weapon had become. If Nova had to guess, it must be in the middle of its second or third upgrade.

She must have been in the middle of upgrading it. Upgrading her old, childhood weapon. In her old train cart. A few miles away from her uncle's resting place, and even closer to the old Anarchists’ quarters. The living Anarchists, presumably. From before…

Before…

This couldn’t be real.

However, the sting on her thumb was stubborn to prove otherwise. It was useless to deny some prodigy superpowers were at play, bringing her back. But the exact details of such a power, she wasn’t sure of. The last thing she could remember was cradling her sister and Adrian hol-

Adrian. She had to find him.

The sound of voices down the tunnel ripped Nova out of her thoughts, the bazooka nearly fell out of her hands. She let out a shaky breath and set the work-in-progress weapon down. She stumbled for a moment when stepping out of the cart, not anticipating the floor of the cart to be that much taller from the ground.

Her legs are shorter.

Of course.

Nova rolled her jaw and purposefully ignored the fact that her line of sight was an inch lower as she continued to walk. She followed the all too familiar train tracks. The murmuring voices of dead Anarchists echoed through the tunnels, more clear the closer she got. Voices she hadn’t heard in years, with the exception of Leroy.

A chill crept up her spine. She internally cursed the prodigy user who’s superpower was responsible for whatever fever dream, time reversal curse they put on her.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. She could only hope for the former, despite the contrary evidence. She turned every corner she needed to, the path practically muscle memory. She spotted the lantern Leroy kept beside his train cart up ahead. Before she could go over to hide behind it to spy on the anarchists, she heard… a giggle?

She whipped around, eyes latching onto the sight of wild orange hair, and painted marionette lines she’d last seen from his memorial.

“Winston!”

Winston blinked at her use of his real name, but he recovered quickly. Flashing a grin, he spoke, “Well hello, tiny Nightmare,” He tilted his head at her. “So strange to see you out and about at this hour. No one can pull you away from your inventions when you’re in the zone. What’s changed so suddenly?” He chuckled.

Nova’s mouth flapped open and closed a little uselessly for a moment as she stared at the dead man. Emotions flashed over her face until they settled on one that certainly wouldn’t make sense for the presumably twelve or so year old she was currently.

Nova realized after a moment of staring she took too long to respond and now Winston had leaned closer, squinting his eyes dramatically at her face. “Why the long fa-”

“Nothing!” She squeaked “It’s- it’s nothing” She clears her throat “Everything is fine, just.. It’s been a bad.. night?” She cursed internally, her usual tells for whether it was day and night were rusty.

Winston cracked a grin, “It’s no longer night anymore, silly little Nightmare.” He hummed. “I think?” And that was enough to drag his suspicion away from Nova and onto joking about their collective memory loss.

With his attention off of her and onto telling a joke, she forced herself to relax. None of the Anarchists should see her as an enemy right now. A traitor. She should be fine. She can relax. If only she could get her body to cooperate better than it had been.

None of them even knew she was from the future yet. There was no reason for any special interest on her. She just had to stay calm and she wouldn't have to lie further. She wouldn't have to tell them she didn't betray them years down the line.

Another breath, and she tuned back into what Winston was saying, more of him trying to cheer her up. And when she actually did pay attention, it did work partially. He was a lot kinder than she'd given him credit for before the Supernova. Winston told another punchline Nova let herself crack a smile. A chuckle left her.

Winston cut himself off from the action. To her surprise, a genuine smile filled his face. She didn’t miss the relief that lightened his eyes. Nova couldn’t help but wonder when the last time he looked like that. Must have been before she distanced herself from him as a child. She wondered if her younger self had already started to do that here.

If so, this Winston must be used to Normal Nova pushing him away. She reminded herself to keep her smile up and her eyes relaxed when she focused back on Winston, willing her thoughts to be more positive. At least she hasn’t betrayed him yet. He's okay.

As okay as he could be, given the circumstances, at least.

“There's that frown turned upside down!” Winston picked up. “You looked to be in a rush, little Nova. Have somewhere to be?” He peered down at her inquisitively.

“Yeah, I do.” Nova shook herself, reminding herself of her objective. Even if it meant leaving behind Winston again.. One that was still breathing. She pushed it down.

“Well, I'll leave you to it!” Winston then looked a little sheepish. “But please please pleasssssee, promise me next time you have a bad night, we'll have a sleepover? We.. h-heh.. …haven’t had one in a little while…”

Nova pressed her lips together and nodded, “Thank you, Winston. I will.” She gave him a sad smile and turned to walk away. Then paused.

Whether she was back in time or in a fucked up induced dream, she couldn’t leave it here.

She whipped around and pounced on Winston, hugging him tightly. She could feel him jolt for a moment. And in that second, she nearly regretted her impulsivity, but quickly Winston’s arms reassured her and they came up to awkwardly settle around her too.

She breathed out, squeezing Winston. He was warm, breathing, alive. Not just a memory, or a statue. He wasn't just a symbol of rehabilitation as he became over the years. He was here.

Just as the Puppeteer. She steered herself. Right, just as her betrayal hadn’t happened, he hasn’t reformed himself. He hasn’t gotten there ..yet.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and only let herself whisper, “I’m so sorry. For everything.” It was easier now that he couldn't see her face.

Winston was quiet for a moment, but then let out a small giggle. “Whatever could you be apologizing for, little Nova?”

That, she couldn’t be sure she could give him an answer for. She parted away from the hug silently. Winston tilted his head. “Nova?”

Nova willed her voice to sound less choked, “Just for not being a very good friend I guess.”

Winston’s smile returned, “Well, apology accepted little Nova!”

She finally turned away from him and began walking towards Leroy's train car. Winston frowned, his eyebrows twisted in confusion. He then shrugged, returning to Blackmire Station.

…

...

Nova stuck to the sides of the tunnel, walking slowly until Winston’s gaze left her. She let out a heavy breath once she was sure he was gone.

Her hands still tingled after pulling away from the hug. She felt lightheaded and took a breath to steady herself and her slightly shaky vision. She blinked away her tears. Not right now.

Whatever that was happening, she needed to group up with Adrian. The hourglass he was holding had to be related to this. She needed to know what he knew. She could only hope he’s retained his memories too.

Quietly, she made her way around Leroy’s cart, remaining out of view. That was one thing that she was quickly discovering, how useful her small size was for sneaking around. She’d never been all that tall, but the difference between a malnourished child and a healthy 22 year old was starkly noticeable. A smile shoved its way onto her face from thinking about her friends’ insistence on her living better during the past six years.

She shakes her head. Focus. Alongside finding Adrian, it’d also be helpful to find a reflection of herself as soon as possible.

She slowed her steps as she could begin to make out Ingrid’s voice up ahead. Right. The Anarchist, from the sound of it, was discussing her findings from her most recent scavenge. Must have been her turn to collect food for storage, Nova supposed. She pressed her back into Leroy’s cold train cart. Shutting her eyes tight as she heard the dead talk once more.

She stayed pressed tightly into her hiding spot until Ingrid left, her footsteps fading away. Now only Leroy and Honey’s murmurs remained. Nova steeled herself. This was the best opportunity she had to leave. Phobia hadn’t shown up yet and she'd rather… not encounter him. She still wasn't sure how much of this was real, and regardless, it wasn't a good idea to let him of all Anarchists catch onto her secrets.

Nova pried herself away from the spot, every instinct in her body telling her this was a bad idea. But it was fine. It would be fine. They used to be her family…

She walked out. Leroy was waiting for her. “Finally decided to make your presence known, little Nigh-”

Her breath hitched at the name, though she tried to cover it with a cough. “Don't call me that.” She distracted herself by lifting herself onto the train platform from the tracks. It was just a bit more challenging than normal due to her shortened height and smaller frame. She trained her eyes to the yellow safety line.

Leroy frowned, eyebrows raised. Or, they would have if they weren't burnt off. Honey remarked, “Someone's grumpy today. Not that I can blame you, it's been absolutely dreadful down here with the recent weather. Too humid.” Nova bit back a response that the weather didn't technically affect them as much down in the tunnels. Even on the best days it was still miserable down here. She kept her eyes on the path she knew led to the exit.

“I'm heading out,” she mumbled.

Leroy hummed, “Any particular reason?”

“Uh.” She flushed, “I just need to stretch my legs. ‘Been sitting for a while y’know. Working on my inventions.”

“Strange, you only started an hour ago.” Honey hummed, “Don’t you u-”

“I’ve been restless today!” Nova added a little too quickly. “I couldn’t focus so I figured some exercise would help. Maybe some bird-watching? Could help with my patience..” She could feel the sweat drip down her neck as she scrambled for an explanation that’d make sense.

Leroy’s head perked up and Nova turned away. Honey made a hushed comment to Leroy, “You told her?”

“She must have overheard.”

Nova cleared her throat slightly, “I’m.. heading out now..” She resisted the urge to rub her neck awkwardly, she was so close to getting out of this hole of reminders. Just a little further…

But before she jumped off the platform to the tunnels leading to the exit, she heard Honey call out.

“Well, goodbye dear!”

She turned around before she could stop herself. She opened her mouth, but realized Honey had already turned around and begun to gracefully walk back to her room. The only evidence of her rather sweet goodbye being the hand waving delicately.

Nova bit her lip and sighed. She stuffed her twisted gut further down and turned to where she could feel Leroy’s gaze burn into her. His eyes were slightly narrowed until she looked at him. His expression relaxed into a smile and he waved goodbye.

She returned the gesture with a small smile. When she left she did her best to not to run; leaving the haunted tunnels for what she hoped was the new final time.

As she neared the surface it grew just a bit warmer. She couldn’t hold back her smile in the dark as she hurried her way up each set of stairs. Her chest began to feel lighter.

And when light peaked through the plywood that hid the exit entrance from others up ahead, she walked a little faster. She squeezed through the gaps and took a full breath in...

And out.