Work Text:
Red for Taken:
"Hello everybody!!!" Yosano yelled, bursting into the office, proudly wearing red. "Ooooooh, who's the lucky gal?" Ranpo asked, smiling. The office had done a Valentines Day spirit week again. It felt childish, just like high school. Red was taken, pink is single, and black is complicated.
"Why, it's my lovely wife, of course," she said, sitting down at her desk. "Stop bragging, Yosano!" Dazai whined, tugging at his black shirt. "Just because Chuuya is mad at you doesn't mean it's complicated!" Ranpo yelled, eating chocolate. "Says the one with a rich boyfriend," he muttered, slamming his head on the desk. Suddenly, Kunikida walked into the office.
"Hello everyone," he said, walking toward his desk. "Kunikida! You're wearing red!" Yosano yelled, slamming her hands on the desk. "Yes, Yosano. I'm aware. That was the spirit topic today, right?" He asked, looking up briefly. "Well, yeah. But red means you're taken," she said, looking at him curiously. "I know, hence the red shirt," he said, rolling his eyes.
"You're taken?!" Dazai yelled, smirking slightly. "Yes, Dazai. I am," he said, opening his computer. "By who? And since when?!" He asked, walking toward him quickly. 'It's going to be a long day.' He thought, sighing quietly.
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Time Skip
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"I'm home!" He yelled, closing the door. "Love, are you ok?" He asked, walking into the bedroom. "Yeah, just have a bad stomach ache," he said, sitting up slightly. "You should rest, beautiful," he said, sitting next to Katai. "I'm fine. It's just a bug," he said, smiling softly.
"Still," he whispered, kissing the brunette's forehead. "How was work?" He asked as Kunikida sat down next to him. "Fine, Dazai would not leave me alone," he said, sighing quietly. "Is that because of the spirit day things?" He asked, leaning against the blonde. "Yes," he responded, wrapping an arm around Katai's waist.
"What's tomorrow's topic?" He asked, laughing quietly as the taller groaned. "Something I would rather not repeat," he said, closing his eyes. "Oh, well, now you have to tell me," the brunette said with a smirk. "It's how many times you have sex a week," he said, shuddering slightly. "I'm surprised the president would allow that," he said quietly.
"Yosano all but begged him. She claimed,'Not every topic has to be pg' it was quite funny to witness," he said, chuckling slightly. "I'm not excited, however. I do not need to know about my co-workers sex lives more than I unfortunately already do," he said, sighing again. "Or, you could mess with them," Katai said, smirking again. "How so?" He asked, glancing at the brunette curiously. "What are the topics?" He asked, avoiding the question.
"Red for once, orange for twice, yellow for three times, green for four, blue for five, purple for six, pink for 7" he said, watching as the brunette laughed quietly. "Simple, just wear green tomorrow," he said, causing the idealist to blush. "We don't have sex thst often," he whispered, looking away. "We do, actually," he said, laughing as the blonde pushed him. "Hush," he muttered, causing Katai to laugh harder.
Green for 4:
"I wonder what Kunikida will be wearing?" Yosano wondered aloud. "Probably white," Dazai said with a snort, his yellow shirt bright and visable. "I still say this was a bad idea," Atsushi whispered, tugging down his orange shirt. Before anyone could answer, Kunikida walked in. "Four! You get laid four times a week!" Yosano yelled as Dazai was silent.
"Yosano, please refrain from yelling," he said, wincing slightly. "I don't believe you," she declared suddenly. "I think you're bullshitting us," she said, walking toward the idealist. "Ranpo, am I lying?" He asked, causing the genius to groan. "No, he isn't lying," the brunette said, cringing at the vision.
"What! You get laid more than me?" Dazai yelled, causing the blonde to sigh. Quickly, he shot a text off to Katai.
I'm going to kill you for making me do this
❤️
He sighed as Dazai rambled on and off. Unfortunately, he continued to do so for the rest of the day.
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Time Skip
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"Katai! I'm going to kill you!" He yelled, slamming the door. "Why the fuck would you make me do that?!" He yelled, walking into the kitchen. Before he said anything else, he paused. Katai was currently looking at him with wide eyes containing a large amount of guilt. Quickly, the brunette looked away.
"I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea," he whispered, voice cracking slightly. Kunikida just sighed before walking closer. He pulled the shorter into a hug, wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist. "It's ok," he whispered, kissing Katai's head gently. "It's not, though. I shouldn't have even suggested that if it made you uncomfortable," he whispered, wiping his eyes quickly and harshly.
"Hey, it didn't make me uncomfortable, ok?" He said, gently wiping the tears tracks from Katai's face. "Still..." He trailed off, groaning quietly. "You should've seen Dazai's face," he whispered, causing the brunette to laugh. "Oh yeah? Was he surprised?" He asked, smiling softly. "He was shell shocked. Especially since he figured out I was having more sex than him," he whispered, causing Katai's jaw to drop.
"We have more sex than Dazai and Chuuya?" He asked, eyes wide. "Apparently," he said, smiling as Katai blushed fiercely. "Oh my god," he whispered, groaning quietly. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the brunette gently. "Love you too," he whispered, kissing the taller again.
Dress as Your Type:
"Hello!" Dazai yelled, busting through the doors in a very accurate Chuuya-esk outfit. "Good morning, Dazai," he said, typing something on his computer quickly. "You're dressed quite basic today," he stated, walking toward the idealist. "I'm dressed as my ideal type," he said, glancing at the brunette. "Ranpo, who is his partner?" He asked suddenly.
"Not telling," he replied before turning back to Poe. "What?! Why not?" He asked, whining slightly. "Because it's fun to watch you be upset," he said, smirking slightly. "Why won't you just tell us?" He asked, looking back at the blonde. "Because it is none of your concern, Dazai," he replied, glaring at the brunette.
"We will find out eventually," Yosano declared, looking at the blonde. "I have no doubt," he muttered, sending an email to the president. Yosano and Dazai continued to interrogate him for the rest of the day.
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Time Skip
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"I'm home!" He yelled, dropping his bag. "I'm in the living room!" He yelled in turn, watching Kunikida practically dragged himself into the living room. "Hard day?" He asked as the blonde flopped onto the couch. "You have no idea," he whispered, wrapping his arms around the brunette. "What made it difficult?" He asked, taking off Kunikida's glasses and running his hands through the blonde hair.
"Dazai and Yosano were interrogating me about you," he whispered, groaning quietly. "Oh yeah?" He asked, getting a hum in return. "What's tomorrow's spirit day?" He asked, cupping the taller's face gently. "Wear blue if you're married and pink of you're dating," he whispered, pressing his face closer into Katai's stomach. "So you're wearing blue tomorrow?" He asked, receiving a nod in reply.
"Do you want to go to bed?" He asked, standing up once Kunikida nodded. They walked to the bedroom before flopping down onto the bed. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the brunette's nape gently. "Love you," he whispered, smiling softly.
Blue for married:
"Any guesses on what our dear idealist shall he wearing?" Dazai asked, spinning in his chair. "Probably pink," she said, adjusting her blue heel. Kunikida walked in before they could say anything more. "You're married?!" Dazai yelled, falling out of his chair. "Yes, Dazai. As are you," he said, sitting down at his desk.
"You have to tell us who your wife is!" She demanded, walking toward him. "Wife? What wife?" He asked, looking up curiously. "You're gay?" Dazai asked, causing the idealist to sigh. "I'm bisexual, Dazai," he said, watching as Yosano's jaw dropped. "You have a husband?" She asked, receiving a nod back.
"Who is it?" She demanded, glaring at the blonde. "Look, if it will make you both quit bothering me, I will bring him tomorrow," he said, causing the two to cheer in victory.
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Time Skip
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"I'm home," he said, not bothering to yell. "Kitchen!" Katai yelled in turn. He walked into the kitchen and immediately wrapped his arms around the brunette. "Another bad day?" He asked, stirring the soup he made. "Not really, actually," he whispered, kissing Katai's neck gently.
"That's good, at least," he whispered, setting down the spoon and turning around the Kunikida's arms. "I promised Yosano to bring you to the Agency tomorrow," he whispered as the brunette wrapped his arms around his neck. "Well, what's the spirit day?" He asked, playing with the taller's ponytail. "Something like wear comfy clothes," he murmured, kissing Katai's neck. "Well, I guess I could come," he said, smiling softly.
"Would you?" He asked, receiving a nod. "Thank you," he said, kissing the brunette gently. "You're welcome," he said, smiling softly.
Comfy Clothes:
"Are you excited?" Yosano asked, receiving a nod from Dazai and Atsushi. I really do wonder who this person will be," Dazai said, smiling as Kunikida walked in. The idealist was wearing a hoodie and grey sweatpants. "Good morning, everyone," Katai said, walking in behind Kunikida. "You're his husband!?" Yosano yelled, smiling widely.
"Yes, I am," he said, smiling softly. "It really was obvious," Ranpo said, receiving a glare from both Yosano and Dazai. "It's nice to see you all again," he said, walking toward his husband's desk. "You too, Katai," Yosano said, and Dazai nodded. "Well, if it's all the same to you, I'm leaving early," he said before sprinting out of the office.
"Dazai! Get back here!" Kunikida yelled to no avail. He just sighed as Katai slipped his hand into the blonde's own. "Love you," he whispered, kissing the idealist's cheek. "PDA!" Yosano yelled in retaliation. "You make out woth your wife, Yosano. I don't want to hear it," he said, causing Katai to laugh.
Valentines Day:
Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart," he said, kissing the brunette gently. "Happy Valentine's Day, Doppo," he said, smiling softly. "I got you something," he said, grabbing a small box. "You didn't have to," he said, placing down his wine glass. "I wanted to," he replied, handing the box to Katai.
"Fine, but I got you something too," he said, grabbing another box. "Open yours first," the blonde said, laughing as Katai rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said before carefully undoing the ribbon. "You didn't," he whispered, picking up the object gently. "I did," he whispered, smiling brightly.
"I can't believe you!" He said, laughing slightly. "I remember the 'challenge' we did and couldn't resist," he said, kissing the brunette gently. A few weeks ago, the couple had done a challenge. It basically was to create the other's ideal build-a-bear. Since they both knew each other so well, the challenge had gone flawlessly.
He had gotten Katai his ideal build-a-bear for a gift. "Ok, open yours," he said, smiling brightly. He carefully undid the ribbon before smiling. "You got me more pens," he said with a smile. "Not just pens! They're fountain pens, and they're your favorite brand," he said, smiling softly.
"Thank you, sweetheart," he whispered, pulling the brunette closer. "I love you too," he said, kissing the younger. He cupped Katai's cheek gently, sliding their tongues against one another. "Bedroom?" He asked teasingly. "Definitely," he whispered, smiling softly.