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The rich bitter smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the break room. Minji and Hanni were taking a quick breather between vocal lessons, lounging on the comfy sofa. Hanni was scrolling through her phone, letting out soft giggles that reminded Minji of wind chimes. Minji pretended to read a magazine, but honestly, the pages were just a blur. Her eyes kept drifting to the girl next to her.
She's just so effortlessly charming, Minji thought, feeling that familiar warmth bloom in her chest, quickly followed by a knot of anxiety. Not just charming. Beautiful and totally out of my league.
"Hey Minji, look at this," Hanni said, nudging her with her elbow and showing her the phone. The screen displayed two cats in ridiculously oversized hoodies, dancing. "It's so us, right?"
Minji leaned in, forcing a smile. The scent of Hanni's strawberry shampoo filled her senses, momentarily dizzying her. "Oh yeah, that's cute," she said, though she barely registered the image. Smooth, Minji. Real smooth.
"Want some?" Hanni offered, holding out a box of Choco Mint Pocky.
Minji's heart skipped a beat. A chance. "Sure, thanks," she said, trying to sound casual. She took a stick, their fingers brushing. And as Hanni munched happily, her eyes crinkling at the corners, Minji carefully squeezed Hanni's hand three times.
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. "I love you." A silent message.
Hanni just smiled back, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Or was Minji imagining it?
"These taste good," she said, offering the box again. "Seriously Kim Minji, try another one. They're limited edition, you know."
"Jeez okay, okay," Minji chuckled, taking another, the sweet flavor coating her tongue. Did she feel it? Did she understand? Or am I just a fool?
"So what are you checking out there?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation, to distract herself from her racing heart.
"Oh, just some fan edits," Hanni replied, her cheeks flushed a light pink. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a gesture Minji found endearing, and shifted closer, their knees almost touching.
Minji felt a sharp twist in her gut. Jealousy. She didn't want to admit it, but there it was. Her fingers gripped the Pocky stick harder. Are those edits of her... with someone else? She inhaled deeply, trying to settle the chaos inside her.
"That's cool," she said, forcing her voice to stay calm and steady. Don't let her see. Don't let her see.
Over the next few days, Minji worked quietly. She left small, encouraging sticky notes on Hanni's mirror. Pastel mint. Hanni's favorite color.
One note said, "You've got this, Hanni! Fighting! …"
Another read, "Hi Pham Pham, your smile brightens my day …"
Then there was a cheesy line, "Are you bread? ;) Cos you're making my heart rise ..."
The three dots at the end? Her signature. A tiny secret code just for Hanni.
One evening, while browsing a small shop near their dorms, she found a pair of handmade bead bracelets, each with a tiny sparkling star charm. They were subtle, just like her feelings.
During a break the next day, she approached Hanni and showed her the bracelet. "I saw these and thought of you," she said, her voice wavering slightly.
As she fastened the bracelet around Hanni's wrist, their fingers touched. A spark. Then came the familiar gesture. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
Hanni's eyes lit up as she admired the bracelet. "It's cute! Thank you, Minji!" Then she paused, a flicker of something unreadable in her eyes.
"Do you... really like it?" Minji asked. Doubts crept in, suddenly worried. Was it too much?
"Of course! It's perfect," Hanni replied softly. She shook her wrist and almost as an afterthought, added, "See? We match." She held up Minji's own wrist, displaying the identical bracelet.
Minji blinked. She hadn't even noticed she was wearing the pair on her wrist today. A tiny thrill sparked within her.
The dance practice room thumped with the beat of their new song. It was a tough routine, full of twists and turns. Sweat trickled down their faces, hair sticking to their skin. Minji watched Hanni across the room. Normally, Hanni moved with sharp precision. But today, a slight furrow marked her brow, hinting at exhaustion.
Even in this state, Minji thought Hanni was beautiful. But that warmth faded fast, replaced by anxiety. She wanted to confess her feelings. To close the gap between them. But fear held her back. What if it ruined everything?
So, Minji turned to her secret language. Still finding the courage and yet all she could do was squeeze her girl's hand. Three gentle squeezes that meant more than words could say. It felt fragile, like a butterfly trapped, fluttering hope against the bars of her fear.
The most stirring moment came during that grueling practice. The choreographer, a stern woman with a sharp eye, was demanding perfection, pushing them relentlessly. Hanni, ever dedicated, was matching the intensity beat for beat. But on a rapid turn, a complex sequence of steps, her ankle twisted beneath her. A sharp cry escaped her lips, and she stumbled.
Minji reacted instantly, her heart racing as she rushed to Hanni's side. "Pham! Are you okay?" she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern. All her defenses fell away in the face of Hanni's pain. Their hands locked together as Minji helped her regain her balance.
Hanni winced, leaning against Minji. "I... I think so... just a little twist. Ow. It hurts."
"Here, let's get you to the side," Minji said, her arm supporting Hanni's waist. The warmth of her body felt comforting, a sharp contrast to the cold fear that gripped Minji's heart.
She gave Hanni's hand three firm squeezes. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. A silent reassurance.
Hanni looked at her, a slight flush on her cheeks. She held Minji's gaze for a beat longer than necessary, a flicker of something that might have been understanding, or perhaps just gratitude, passing between them. "Thanks, Minji," she said, softer than she would normally talk to her. "You're a lifesaver. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Don't be silly," Minji said. Her heart ached. Worry and unspoken longing wrapped around her. "We always got each other's back, right?"
"Of course," Hanni nodded and said nothing more.
Minji wanted to say something, anything, to let Hanni know how much more she meant to her. Don't you feel the same way as I do? The question echoed in her mind.
The squeezes. The turmoil inside her. The endless questions. They danced in her thoughts, but she kept them to herself.
Later that week, they had an outdoor photoshoot. The weather turned. A biting wind whipped through the streets. It seeped into their bones, no matter how many layers they wore. They huddled together, waiting for their manager. The city lights blurred in the distance. Minji stood next to Hanni. Their shoulders brushed together.
"Freezing," Hanni muttered, shivering. Her breath formed clouds in the cold air. "I wish I'd worn another layer."
Minji felt a spark of courage and slipped her hand into Hanni's. "Here," she said softly. The wind nearly swallowed her words. "Share some warmth. My hands are always warm apparently."
Then without thinking, she squeezed Hanni's hand three times. Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.
Hanni's fingers tightened around Minji's hand. It was a quiet moment, but it meant everything. She leaned her head against Minji's shoulder.
"Much better," Hanni murmured, her voice soft against Minji's jacket. "You're like a walking radiator, Kim Minji. It's a superpower." After a brief pause, she added, "A very appreciated superpower."
Minji chuckled. "Only for you, Pham. A very useful superpower in this weather." She tried to keep her tone light, but her heart raced. Is she just being friendly? Is this all in my head?
The next day, the set buzzed with bright lights and fun chaos for a behind-the-scenes video. Minji and Hanni got lucky and found themselves on the same team. They played a quick game of charades, which needed fast thinking and even faster moves.
After successfully guessing a particularly difficult word, they high-fived, their palms slapping together. Minji, caught up in the excitement, the adrenaline coursing through her veins, instinctively gave Hanni's hand three squeezes.
Hanni beamed at her, her eyes shining with joy and a trace of something more profound. Then, to Minji's utter shock, Hanni responded. She gently squeezed Minji's hand back. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
Minji froze, her heart pounding against her ribs. Four squeezes? What...? It wasn't part of her carefully constructed code.
Hanni leaned in closer, her breath warm and smelling faintly of mint, as she whispered in Minji's ear — so soft she was sure she was the only one who could hear it.
"Took you long enough, Kim Minji. Four means 'I love you too', dork." A teasing smile crossed Hanni's lips, her eyes crinkling with mischief. "And don't worry," she whispered. "I won't spill your little secret to the other girls unless you want me to." She winked, their hands still clasped together.
Minji's face flushed a brilliant shade of crimson, a mix of embarrassment, relief, and overwhelming joy swirling within her. But the embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by a profound wave of relief that nearly buckled her knees, accompanied by a bubbling joy that rose from deep inside her. She realized Hanni hadn't been as oblivious as she thought.
All her fears and anxieties had been for nothing. Maybe, just maybe, taking a chance and being a little less subtle wouldn't be the end of the world. She opened her mouth to respond but hesitated, a shy smile finally spreading across her face.
The words stuck in her throat, replaced by a firm squeeze of Hanni's hand. It was a simple acknowledgment, a silent promise of more to come, and a quiet understanding that transcended secret codes and unspoken fears.
"I... I..." she stammered, completely flustered and lost for words.
Hanni laughed, a light sound that chased away the last traces of Minji's anxiety. "Cat got your tongue?"
Minji finally managed a genuine smile that reached her eyes. "Maybe," she admitted, squeezing Hanni's hand once more. "But... did you really know all along?"
"About the squeezes? Of course," Hanni replied, her eyes twinkling with a mix of amusement and affection. "The sticky notes were a bit of a giveaway and the bracelets? Come on, Kim Minji. You have to step up your game!"
Minji groaned playfully, burying her face in her hands for a moment. "I thought I was being so subtle!"
"Subtle like a neon sign in a dark room," Hanni teased, though her voice was gentle and reassuring. "But it was cute. Really cute."
Minji felt her cheeks heating up again, but this time it was a pleasant warmth.
"You're cute," Hanni added, and Minji just stared at her with wide, bright eyes. She looked at the girl in front of her, really looked at her, and saw the affection shining in her eyes clear as day. You're such an idiot, Kim Minji.
"So... what now?" she asked softly, letting the question linger between them.
Hanni shrugged, a playful glint in her eyes, the same playful light Minji had seen many times before, but now it felt different, charged with new meaning.
"Now? We finish this video, and then... maybe we get some ice cream. My treat. Mint chocolate, of course."
Minji grinned, a wide, unrestrained smile that reflected the boundless joy bubbling inside her. "Ice cream sounds perfect."
And as they walked away, their hands found each other again. This time, they both squeezed at the same time. Three perfect squeezes that needed no translation.