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The first person Killian sees is Henry. The little lad he’s come to care so much like he did for Bae once upon a time.
Then there’s David, Regina, Mary Margaret and so many faces it’s overwhelming. They’re all here and he doesn’t know how to deal with this.
They are here. They came for him – those who were once strangers and now, they apparently love him enough to risk their lives. For him.
Just Emma’s presence is enough to ignite every little nerve of him. It’s a mess of feelings. Love (so much love) and anger because she didn’t listen to him. She’s putting herself in danger when all he wants for her is to be safe and happy with her boy.
Emma here is already too much.
So the rest of them, they are overwhelming.
He hears the worry in Mary Margaret’s voice and reassures her by habit but the pain is constant.
All of his body is throbbing and Killian just wants to close his eyes and let the darkness engulf him.
Death is not supposed to be that painful.
Another part of his brain – that protests every time a new thought comes in – is occupied by a name he thought less and less the more time passed.
Milah. Milah was here.
It’s like his heart is breaking all over again. It’s like reliving her death all over again.
She was here. He could’ve said goodbye. He could have told her how much he loved her and how much he tried to avenge her.
That even if he’s found love again with Emma, he’s never forgotten her. He will always care for her.
And maybe she could have found peace. Leave that awful place to a better one.
But this hope is gone now. His chance is gone. It’s like Hades’ chains are cutting a little more in his flesh, bleeding the hope out of him even if he’s here. Surrounded by the people he loves and that love him back.
(Again. Overwhelming).
Fighting with the old crocodile is easy – it’s like that expression Emma’s always using. What is it? Ah… Riding a bike. Even if he’s not sure what a bike looks like. Is riding a boat can work?
The loath for him will never go away and he almost wishes that he had known earlier the crocodile was here. He could have chiseled his name no remorse or whatsoever.
Nonetheless, if he can feel the warmth of Emma by his side, it’s because of him so he lets himself sink into her. He lets his mind go blank just a minute.
Because she’s here. And she loves him. And they are not married or anything but that is definitively the worst part and she’s here.
She’s here. She’s here. And it’s all Killian thinks about. And his cuts seem to bleed a little less.
Then…
“Split?” He asked. He tries to reckon the conversation he only listened with an ear.
Split.
He heard the word before.
He heard the story before.
The story of a true love so annoying that once upon a time, he wanted to barf every time he witnessed Mary Margaret and David having a sweet moment. Then, he got along (it grows on you that true love thing) and maybe – thought he wouldn’t admit it – he’s started dreaming about a love of that kind.
With Emma.
And he knows she’s his true love. And that she feels the same. Because again, she’s here. Nonetheless, weeks ago, Emma was afraid of commitment and hesitant to say ‘I love you’ first.
And now, she thought – thinks they can share a heart.
Overwhelming is not a big enough word to explain what he feels right now. But hope… God the hope – it’s so powerful he can’t breathe.
In less than a second, he sees it all. The return to the living world. The fresh air of the sea. The moving in. The nights cuddle up in front of Netflix (it’s not as bad as it sounded). Taking Henry and Emma on the boat. Finally taste Emma’s skin, make her moan like he has dreamt of so many times. He sees the wedding like in the movies he watched with Emma. He thinks of his proposal. And he thinks about that day when he’ll be in that awful room that smell of medicine with Emma at his side, tired but happy because they would have a baby. Before Emma (before Henry), he didn’t think he would want kids. But now, he wants tons of them (at least two). He wants a family.
And for one tiny second, all his very long and happy life with Emma, Henry, the Charmings, Regina flashes in front of him and he tries to hide the fact he can’t barely stand.
And as soon as it comes, it goes away.
The dream goes away. He sees the horror and disappointment on Emma’s face but the glint of hope in her eyes, the soft touch she gives him. She will not give up on him.
But he, all he can see, it’s Hades’ face and smirk as hope fades away.
He died. And it’s supposed to stay that way.
She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t have come here.