Chapter Text
It was Halloweekend, I just flew across the globe
Twenty-two hours just to see you
I flew halfway across the world just to see him. After a twenty-two-hour journey, all I wanted was to be in his arms again. When Kuroo locked the door behind him, I let out a sigh of relief. I collapsed onto the foot of his bed, giggling like an idiot. He flashed that toothy grin of his and pulled me into a deep kiss, his hands already tugging me closer as he dropped my bag onto the floor. The weight of the exhaustion from the long flight melted away in an instant as I tangled my fingers in his hair, smiling into the kiss.
"I missed you, baby," he whispered against my lips, and I couldn't help but smile.
"I missed you too, Tetsu." I said, my heart racing, my body still in that tired haze but completely alive in his presence.
Kuroo pulled me closer, his body pressing into mine, the scent of him, so familiar, calming the restless part of me. "I might get kicked out for sneaking you in," he murmured, "But I’d find a new dorm. Worth it, though." He nuzzled into my neck, making me feel like everything was right, even after a whole day of travel.
He gently called out my name as he looked up, longing was evident in his eyes and you can’t help but kiss him again. “Why don’t we skip tonight’s party and stay here tonight?” He asked with his charming eyes pleading.
“I wish we could, but we promised Ken we’d be there tonight. Besides, Kou and Keiji will be there too! I miss them too, you know.” I replied, caressing his cheek. “Don’t you miss me more?” He pouted and crossed his arms before turning his back on me. With how small his bed was, of course he rolled to the floor with a loud thud.
“Careful, Tetsu!” I yell-whispered, then flinched when he hit the floor. Offering my hand to help him stand, he pulled me down with him and we ended up laughing until our stomach hurt.
“We’ll go tonight, then I’m all yours tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” I asked him as soon as we calmed down. He pouted again but nodded.
I didn’t plan on visiting him this early since I was supposed to go during the Christmas holiday but he said he wanted to go home for the holidays so when Kenma told me he booked me a flight because Kuroo kept complaining about how much he misses me I took the opportunity and jumped on that plane even if it’s only for the weekend.
I’ve known Kuroo and Kenma since forever, but I’ve always loved Kuroo. But we only got together by the end of our last year in high school only because it took him too long to realize he loves me back.
We moved into their neighborhood when I was about to start primary school and since my parents were friends with his, we usually had these weekly dinners together. Then Kenma’s family moved in soon, too.
Kuroo and I were the same age and surprisingly into the same things too so we got along well. I had my fair share of female friends, of course. I didn’t always hang out with him but there was a mutual understanding that we were friends. When we heard about the new kid in the apartment, we fought for who Kenma would like better. In the end, we both annoyed him so much he kicked us out so he could play his video games and Kuroo and I just fought about who annoyed him the worst and played volleyball outside. I was somehow fascinated by this game, not because I loved being active or what, but because I had someone I could play with and talk about it with.
Kenma eventually warmed up to us and would sometimes join our little volleyball games and we also learned to play his video games. I was definitely better than Kuroo with the video games, or at least I think he’s always letting me win. Not that I’m complaining. We all joined volleyball clubs in primary school. I stopped when we were in middle school though, but never failed to watch any of their matches.
When we got to high school, there was a huge escalation in terms of our dynamic, to both boys of course, but especially with Tetsu.
I blame puberty for making me feel feelings. Because I wasn’t just a girl who loves playing volleyball and video games with my two childhood friends anymore. I started to love fashion, makeup, doing my hair, and my body was quickly adapting to my age. I’m having crushes, I talk about boys with my girl friends now.
And I was especially feeling something different for Tetsuro now, it wasn’t just being drawn to him because of our closeness, but because I was rapidly and hopelessly realizing that I love him. I started seeing him differently, everything we did felt special. I tense up everytime I make eye and physical contact with him. I’d blush when he teases me when I used to smack him in the head before.
It was our senior year in high school, Tokyo was still sweltering hot in mid-August and he had just returned from their summer training camp when he told me he’d pick me up from my cram school. I was nervous for some reason, my heart was pounding loudly in my chest and I could barely concentrate.
Just as he said, he was there outside, holding a bouquet of flowers. I was nailed to the ground when I saw him, when we made eye contact, he smiled. That smile always sent my heart racing, but for some reason this time, it felt unusually calm.
Under that summer heat as the sun set on the horizon, he had told me he loved me too.
Just to barely fit on your twin-sized bed
And talk about your cool new friend
Who I never met, who you dated as soon as I left
We were both pretty drunk when we got back to his place. I was changing out of my clothes when he suddenly pulled me back to his bed to snuggle.
“Tetsu, I need to change first.” I insisted as I tried to pry myself free from his arms, but eventually failed and gave in. He’d plant kisses on my cheek down to my neck and we were just giggling, shushing each other occasionally. After a while, as I laid in his arms, he suddenly mentioned something that would send my thoughts spiraling.
“I forgot to introduce you to a friend.”
“Who is this new friend?” I asked curiously. He smiled as he talked about her, a girl I never knew and will never do. No one among Ken, Kou and Keiji mentioned her so I figured it was someone he had a class with. I listened patiently as he told me about their recent hangout.
I couldn’t even speak as he told me stuff about her because there was something turning in my stomach. Maybe it was the 5 bottles of beer that I had drank, but I knew that it wasn’t just that.
I felt sick.
He saw me off at the airport the next day, if I didn’t have an important week ahead, I would’ve stayed longer. After we bid goodbye, there was an unsettling feeling in my gut that I couldn’t brush off.
That was the last time I saw him. Kuroo broke up with me two weeks after. The devastation that the breakup caused had fully consumed me after he posted a girl that wasn’t me, a girl with a name I had heard before. He called her “my girl” like how he used to call me. It had only been a month since we ended it but he was doing perfectly fine, in another happy relationship after leaving me all devastated and alone.
Seeing that social media post had sent me into a month of depression and isolation. There were so many questions I had that were left unanswered. There were a lot of things I couldn't understand that I tried to just forget.
It was that easy for him to let me go.
He was all I’ve ever known.
I’ve loved him for so long, doesn’t he feel the same way?
If he did, why was it so easy to let me go?
Did anything ever really count
Or was I just a two-year practice round?