Chapter Text
Niko clicked her pen on her clipboard. “Okay, let me get this clear: nagtapat si Edwin sa’yo pero nabigla ka kaya ‘di mo muna sinagot?” (“Okay, let me get this clear: Edwin confessed to you but you got shocked which is why you didn’t give him an answer yet?”)
“Mhm!”
“And this was… three months ago?”
“Uhuh.”
“At wala sa inyo nagsabi samin ni Crystal?!” (“And neither of you told Crystal and I?!)
“‘Di ba sinabi sa’yo ni Edwin?” (“Didn’t Edwin tell you?)
“I didn’t know he was talking about you.”
“Ay.” Charles didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved. Crystal probably knew by that point, but it wasn’t an issue worth discussing in the first place if Edwin had decided to leave the conversation back in his house in that project. He continued pacing around the empty classroom while the others were at break.
Niko leaned forward from her armchair. “Hey, pero kung ganoon naman, ano problema mo?” (“Hey, but if it’s like that, what’s the problem?”)
“Alabanamang sabihin ko nang biglaan na gusto ko siya. Baka nga move on na ‘yon eh.” (“It’s not like I’ll tell him out of the blue that I like him. He probably moved on anyway.”)
“Don’t say that. You don’t know that.”
Charles sat on the teachers’ table. “Niko, ikaw ata ‘yung pinakahuling nakaalam na gusto niya ‘ko.” (“Niko, you’re probably the last one to know that he likes me.”)
“Hoy di kaya!” protested Niko. (“Hey not really!”) “Now that I think about it… he does look at you very differently. Not like he does to Crystal or I.”
“What about…”
“What about what?”
Charles dismounted the table and shook his head. “Wala.” (“Nothing.)
“‘Di ‘yan wala~” sing-songed Niko. (“That’s not nothing~”)
Charles stretched his limbs. “Alam mo naman na andaming lalaking nagdadamoves sa kanya. Kung ‘di lang ‘yan president magiging muse na ata ‘yon.” (“You know how many guys make moves on him. If he wasn’t president, he probably would’ve been muse.”)
Niko snickered. “May tanong ako, Kuya.” (“I have a question, Kuya.”)
“Ano?” (“What?”)
“Were you jealous of Monty and Kuya Thomas?”
Charles reddened.
Niko’s jaw dropped to the floor as she gave a slow clap. “Wow.”
“‘Wag.” (“Dont.”)
“Charles! Sila? Over you? Para kay Edwin?” (“Charles! Them? Over you? For Edwin?”)
“‘Di siya imposible.” (“It’s not impossible.”)
Niko put the clipboard down and motioned for Charles to take the seat next to her.
“Kuya, hindi naman sa pinapaasa kita, pero don’t you think you’re giving too little credit to yourself? Kilala ko si Edwin. Kahit sinuman maging Prince Charming noon, ikaw pa rin pipiliin niya in any situation.” (“Dude, it’s not that I’m making you hope for nothing, but don’t you think you’re giving too little credit to yourself? And no matter who becomes his Prince Charming, he’ll still choose you in any situation.”)
Niko placed her hand on top of Charles’. “I want you two to be happy. And if you really love our best friend, you’ll make the effort. Edwin deserves to know he’s loved by the person he loves the most.”
Charles disentangled his fingers. Niko offered her shoulder for Charles to lean on. Their height difference would definitely give Charles a stiff neck later, but it’s okay. It’s Niko anyway.
He still wasn’t sure if he even deserved to be with Edwin M. Pineda. Hell, if he knew one thing, no one deserved such a beautiful, smart, and talented boy. To know the first time that it was Charles himself who had captured his heart was beyond wondrous for Charles’ feeble brain. Edwin had reassured him that he needn't return his feelings, and that nothing would change between the two of them. After all, they were best friends first before their own people, as the teachers had said.
But after the confession, Charles caught glimpses of Edwin that sent him to the stars. It was the little things he had been watching Edwin do for all the years they were friends. His brown eyebrows curl as he’s focused. His mussed up hair that had lost all its stiffness after a tired day of school. The heartily wide laughs he showed only when it was just the four of them. The stares they’d accidentally caught when in class that made them blush and turn away.
But why Charles Realonda?
It was unexpected enough to have Edwin as a friend, much more to have Edwin think of him in that way. Charles hadn’t even thought of a single moment in his life where he liked a boy. Okay maybe Cedrick Juan but ever the girl-or-nothing-loving Niko Sasaki loved him in GomBurZa so shut up. Well to be fair, Niko only appreciated when someone was pretty or charismatic, so it was different for Charles.
Anyways.
The point was, Charles realized he could never ever love anyone else the way he loved Edwin.
Now this wouldn’t have been a problem if:
One, Charles’ extremely homophobic dad. He didn’t know about his religious mum, but he knew he was done for if his father found out.
Two, they were in a Catholic school.
Three, the bullies.
He could handle the teases and bullies and whatnot all for the sake of Edwin, but if they even dare to repeat any of their bullshit past Edwin had been through, it was a game for two parties. Before they became friends, or before Charles even got in this school, Edwin was bullied. Stupid cocky boys saw him as an easy target for his thin stature and quiet demeanor. They’d called him names elementary students should definitely not know about.
What hurt the most about Edwin and Charles’ first meeting was the fact that Charles had been the one being bullied, and Edwin had protected him. Edwin had seen a shivering seventh-grader Charles drenched in cold water and guided him to the clinic. Edwin had even missed a class then, which made Charles guilty, but Edwin had reassured him that he had an excuse for being in the clinic anyway. That had been his mild headache.
In truth, Edwin couldn’t leave Charles in the clinic, not really. The bullies could come attacking at any time, and though they were safe with the nurses, it didn’t really calm Edwin’s nerves. Plus, the bullies were in his class as well. He’d rather not see them.
Edwin, holding a cotton ball with a calming ointment scent to his nose, had watched as Charles was being checked by the nurses for any perilous signs. Thankfully, there had been none. The nurses had asked Charles if he felt like he needed to go home, but Charles had refused, saying he was fine and just needed rest. They had let him do so as Edwin watched from across the seat he was in, the boy who was now wrapped in a towel cuddling with a hot pack.
“Ano name mo?” (“What’s your name?”) Charles had innocently asked.
The boy had whispered something incoherent, but Charles heard it as, “Edward?”
“Edwin.” he corrected.
“Ahhh… Edwin,” Charles had said his name like it was a magic spell he had just learned. “Well, Edwin. Salamat sa ginawa mong ‘yon. Ang tapang mo ah.” (“Well, Edwin. Thank you for what you did. You’re very brave.”)
Nobody had described Edwin as “matapang” (brave) before.
“May lahi ka ba, pre? Mukha ka talagang mestizo.” (“Are you mixed, dude? You look like a mestizo.)
Edwin ducked his head.
“Ay, ‘di ka nagtatagalog? Do you prefer English?” (“Oh, you don’t speak Tagalog? Do you prefer English?”
“I can understand Tagalog perfectly fine,” countered Edwin before quietly adding, “But I’m not too fluent in it.”
“That’s okay. You’ll learn anyway.” Charles slowly sat up. “Gusto mo magtagalog ako sa’yo palagi para masanay ka?” (“Do you want me to always talk to you in Tagalog so you get used to it?”)
Edwin met his hopeful twinkling eyes. Palagi (Always) echoed in his mind. Did someone want to be his friend?
“I’d like that,” said Edwin.
“Charles nga pala, ‘tol!” (“I’m Charles by the way, mate!”) The boy reached his arm forward. Edwin stood and shook it politely before returning back to his seat.
Four years later, who would have known? They were now sixteen going on seventeen, and though forever awaited them beyond, it felt like they had spent it with each other already.
And really, what was forever if not a large but simple promise shared between the clueless young and the wise old?
“Okay,” Charles lifted his head from Niko's shoulder.
“Okay?”
“But first,” Charles said. “How do I show Edwin I like him properly?”
Niko squinted her eyes, knees jumping, until she stood— “Aha! Alam ko na!” (“Aha! I know!”)
Charles lifted his head expectantly.
“Ligawan mo siya.” (“Court him.”)
Nikola Esang Sasaki knew a thing or two about devious plans. Taga-reto ng bayan ‘yan! (That's the nation's matchmaker!) However, the first two matchmaking incidents were suffice to say, not successful.
This was Charles and Edwin they were talking about. Ate Jenny and Ate Maxine had known nothing of each other, and Monty had just fallen head-over-heels for a boy who didn't feel the same way. Niko was dealing with best friends, soulmates, two people who knew each other like no other, like the back of each other's hands, or the lines in their faces. She couldn’t break such bond.
Niko, being the brilliant young lady she was, resorted to the old-fashioned ways.
“Harana?!” Charles squeaked. “Wag, pre. ‘Di ako kumakanta!” (“Serenade?! No, mate. I can’t sing!”)
“It doesn't matter if you can sing or not. What matters is the message you give. You play the guitar right?”
“Yes but–”
“Great! Anong kanta kaya? Harana, Yellow, Can’t Take My Eyes Off You?”
“Parang andami nang nakahalungkat ng mga ‘yan eh.” Don't get him wrong— they were great songs. All of them were up there in his “Silently Pining for Edwin Pineda” playlist.
“ Edi ano ‘yung song na may lyrics talagang pang-Edwin? Kind of like a personal love letter to him.”
—
They were in Edwin's house to study alone together, as the girls were not available then. They were seating on Edwin's brown carpet in his room, a cluster of papers, books, and two open laptops messily displayed.
The remaining school afternoon was spent with Charles bothering Edwin as he tried to focus, but Edwin would eventually get Charles to quiet down if he made a deal such as, “If you answer ten questions correctly, I'll read to you.”
“‘Di mo ‘yan magagamit sa'kin, pare. Kaya ko kaya ‘yang tapusin.” (“You can’t use that on me, mate. I can finish that book anyways.”)
“Pustahan page one pa lang susuko ka na.” Edwin slammed the book in front of him but couldn't help the twitch in his lip. (“I’m betting you’ll give up on the first page.”)
That was true for obvious reasons.
Charles dramatically rolled his eyes which made Edwin snicker. “Sige na, señor. Whatever you say. Pero sabi nga nila… don't suffer in silence. Dapat may music.” (“Fine, señor. Whatever you say. But as the saying goes… don’t suffer in silence. Suffer with music.”)
He put on some random OPM on his laptop (played the first few seconds to some Hev Abi song just to annoy Edwin), and got to work. It was after they truly truly got work done did they finally get a breather. Charles had collapsed on Edwin's bed, Edwin on his desk.
“Sa wakas!” Charles stretched. (“Finally!)
“Nagawa na rin,” (“It’s finally done.") Edwin muffled beneath his arms. He tilted his head to the side, meeting Charles' eyes. Charles expected him to say something sarcastic or bitchy. Instead, he was met by the tired half-lidded smile of Edwin.
Charles returned the soft smile. “Magpahinga ka na, pre. Ako na bahala rito.” (“Rest now, mate. I’ll take care of this.”)
“Mm… uuwi ka na?” (“Mm… are you going home?”)
Edwin's eyes were fully closed. It was 6 PM. Charles moved to the edge of the bed, closer to Edwin. He craned his neck slightly to make sure only Edwin heard this.
“‘Di pa. Matulog ka muna. I'm here.” (“Not yet. Go to sleep. I’m here.”)
Edwin smiled at that before letting his eyes shut. Charles couldn't help but feel his own back stiffening from Edwin's position on his desk. That wouldn't do.
He tapped his friend's arm. “Pre, mahihirapan ka riyan.” (“Mate, you’ll have a hard time there.”)
Edwin mumbled a protest. Before he knew it, one of his arms was slung over a shoulder as he was hoisted up to fall onto a soft mattress. “Grabe ka talaga ‘pag puyat.” (“You really are something without sleep.”)
A soft snore escaped Edwin. God, he really was tired. For a moment Charles could do nothing but stare. This was one of those moments where Edwin wasn't plagued by the cog work in his head; where his body was no longer strained. If Charles could smooth out the furrow in his eyebrows, the tightness of his jaw, or his elegantly compact fingers, he would.
Yet now, Edwin was placid. Charles wondered what Edwin dreamed about when he was thinking of nothing.
Intending to do Edwin a favour by decluttering their mess, he stood from the bed. Edwin shifted in his position, as if feeling the weight of Charles leaving him.
“‘Di pa ‘ko aalis. Pramis.” (“I won’t leave. Promise.”) Charles hesitated before he reached out to squeeze his friend's fingers. He stood up and changed the music in the laptop as he cleaned the mess before them.
—